The Pretty Girl Situation
The Pretty Girl Situation
To alleviate a lot of unnecessary approach anxiety, especially with intimidatingly dolled-up women. Enjoyā¦
Recently, I was out with my girlfriend and her friends. They are all beautiful. Theyāre the kinds of girls who guys rate 10s and think are stuck-up. However, thatās not how they see themselves.
āTotally not,ā agrees my girlfriend, whoās sitting here on the plane, watching me type this.
One of them, letās call her Laura, is a tall, thin blonde, with pouty lips and bright blue eyes. She turns heads wherever she goes. However, the whole night, she kept worrying.
āIām not having fun,ā she said, ābecause everyone has long hair and mineās short, since I donāt have my extensions in.ā
When we were walking, sheād say, āWalk with me, because it looks like Iām alone.ā
When we were all talking and laughing together, sheād say she felt uncomfortable and left out.
Consequently, she left early.
However, she would have stayed if an interesting guy had the courage to walk up and, in a non-needy and non-desperate way, start an engaging conversation. In fact, rather than cockblock, her friends would have encouraged it, because they knew itās what she needed right then. That or more alcohol.
And she wasnāt the only one with us who felt that way. Another felt excluded also: so to make up for it, she began dancing flirtatiously with every guy in the room.So men probably thought she was a party girl and intimidatingly confident.
But, in fact, she too was looking for someone interesting to meet to make the night worthwhile and have something to gossip about with her friends after.
And a third friend met a guy there, but the guy left early to go home and be with his girlfriend, who he neglected to mention to her, so she felt rejected and in need of a substitute that night.
Why am I telling you this?
Itās because when I see most students go out to meet women, they choose the women who seem the easiest to approach.
Guess what? Every other guy is thinking the same thing. And those unintimidating girls have probably been approached all night.
āNot one guy tried to talk to me last night,ā my girlfriend says.
āDamn straight,ā I respond.
Hereās what guys are not thinking: that the girl who looks perfect and takes your breath away and is wearing low-cut clothing and has make-up done perfectly ā she is doing that for you.
It takes a lot of work to be beautiful. It takes a lot of time, money, effort, learning, energy, and, in most cases, an actual obsession. Being professionally hot is a full-time job that, with a few noteworthy exceptions, results in no paycheck.
Now who would do that? What kind of person would dedicate all those resources just to their appearance? Who would spend five hours getting extensions put in her hair, and then still think her hair is not long enough?
Someone totally fucked up.
Okay, thatās half a joke. But itās half not.
Those beautiful women who intimidate you ā theyāre also likely to be the most insecure girls in the room. And not only that, theyāre also the most likely to have real problems in their home and personal life.
Many of my girlfriendās friends comes from a broken home. Everyone is living with a problem and makes their life more difficult, and resents their youth and beauty. Every one that has a boyfriend has cheated on him in the last 30 days. Everyone feels like sheās the ugliest one in the group, and wants to look like one of the other girls. And every one is incredibly sweet, with a warm heart, and great personality, and a dorky sense of humor.
My point is that the super-done-up perfect-looking girl in the room ā the ones you look at and say, āSheās girlfriend materialā ā would make horrible girlfriends. She would be lucky to meet a stable, intelligent, non-controlling guy like yourself.
Sheās out there projecting an image of who she wants people to think she is every night. And all it takes to have her in your life is to break through that projection to find the real person underneath. However, in order to do so, you also need to break free of the preconceived notions that youāre projecting on her, most of which are fear-based. Approach her like the broken little girl she is. Not from a place of intimidation, but pity ā like youāre actually doing charity work by being nice to her.
Note: If you are one of my girlfriendās friends and reading this, this is not about you. Itās about her other friend. You know, that really insecure one. Not you.Ā <3 Angelina Lucia
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