jort

Mort • 26 • they/them • aussie Number One Jorts Fellatio Fan

[angel-derangement]

oh yeah I was crazy back then (2020-2021 post destiel confession) yeah im normal now (I’m not)

[angel-derangement]

im normal now

[angel-derangement]

also i 1000% have caught the football fever now and i think it might be terminal YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY 🔥⚽️🏃‍♀️‍➡️🏃‍➡️🏃‍♂️‍➡️⚽️🔥⚽️🔥⚽️🔥⚽️

[angel-derangement]

let’s all start manifesting bosnia and herzegovina drawing the USA tomorrow 1-1 then winning it on penalties 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 like to charge reblog to cast 🕯️🕯️🕯️✨🔮✨🔮

[angel-derangement]

sorry for putting too much football talk in this for the average tumblr user, what I mean to say is DOWN WITH THE YANKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🔥🔥🔥🔥🇧🇦🇧🇦🇧🇦🇧🇦

[angel-derangement]

let’s all start manifesting bosnia and herzegovina drawing the USA tomorrow 1-1 then winning it on penalties 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 like to charge reblog to cast 🕯️🕯️🕯️✨🔮✨🔮

[thethirdromana]

The worst types of cookbook:

The Ottolenghi - it is vital that you use 1g of this very expensive ingredient. It comes from a 500g bag with a one-week shelf life.

The time machine - 15-minute recipe! First, leave to marinate overnight...

The dishwasher - one-pot recipe! Now decant your ingredients and wipe out your pot. And again. And again. And again.

The optimist - cook the onions until caramelised (2 minutes).

The kindergarten teacher - get one nommable little tree of broccoli and bosh that into boiling water. Delish!

The brand names only - ingredients: Ritz crackers, Philadelphia cheese, Cool Whip, orange Jell-o...

The 1950s palate - use one (1) clove of garlic and a small pinch of chili flakes (omit if preferred).

The why bother with a cookbook - to make beans on toast, gently heat a tin of beans and put on top of freshly buttered toast.

[thethirdromana]

#the overachiever: make this very time consuming ingredient from scratch even though it'll end up tasting worse than store bought

Amen to this @akasanata. "Now make your puff pastry from scratch". How about no❤️

[pineappical]

rocky smoke that shit statement

[kyoukorpse]

Someone to be brave for.

excerpt is from chapter 29 of the novel.

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[angel-derangement]

(touches stove) yaoi!!

[angel-derangement]

book of all the ways autistic people mask in regular life for the benefit of the allistics around them and it’s called The Subtle Art Of Giving A Fuck

[naturalpr3y]

My understanders will Understand me

[toddsolondz]

in the rear view mirror i saw the setting sun on your neck

[hispanicnothispeace]

does anyone know how to stop desire from being the root of all suffering

[librarian-raichu]

The sin of man is the sin of want, let’s get you a juice box.

[angel-derangement]

successfully cutting up a fat quarter into a bunch of teeny hexies is sooooo satisfying #justquiltingthings #myfatquarter #myhexies

[angel-derangement]

okay but the teeth in that blow job were a subversive take onthe genre okay. they were intentional it was an intentional homage to biting

[drchucktingle]

inside me there are two wolves

[mothcub]

A poem about my original Shrek universe character, Jessica.

[angel-derangement]

actually if I could give you the moon I think I would keep that shit for myself