TVSTRANGERTHINGS
almost home
noise dept.
Jules of Nature
hello vonnie
Discoholic 🪩
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
Peter Solarz
Today's Document
cherry valley forever
Xuebing Du
shark vs the universe
Not today Justin
tumblr dot com
Andulka
blake kathryn
Love Begins
tannertan36
Product Placement
$LAYYYTER
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@angellieafox
remembering how in 8th grade i went school with a pair of twins who would sometimes switch outfits during lunch period.
they didn't switch identities, just outfits. like they'd go to the bathroom and come back wearing each other's shirts. middle schoolers are fascinating creatures
they weren't even identical twins
the foreboding sense of doom? oh yeah i know that one. just double check you have your wallet, keys and some chapstick, works every time
Hanzo: I don't understand how men make those jokes, "Oh my wife is a bitch and I don't like her at all, ha ha"
Hanzo: I would never say such a thing
Hanzo: My wife is a bitch and I like her so goddamn much it consumes me
The whole photo is gold but I especially like that the automated feeder is taped to the fucking floor.
*drives my Knife Sharpening Mobile down your dash broadcasting vaguely sinister off-key ice cream truck music*
all books should be written by deeply damaged autistic perverts
in my Enclosure, performing Behaviors
Genuine question why the fuck is February only allowed have 28 days? why can't we just give it one of January's and March's extras and even the score to 30. what fucklehead is responsible for this conniving calendar thievery
well shit we really did just let the romans get away with any ole thing huh
Johnny, walking into the room: Hey, Raiden, can- oh
Raiden stands there, staring into space and smiling dreamily
Johnny, unnerved: Oh. Raiden. You’re smiling……sorry could you stop that, I just find it deeply unsettling
"stealing candy from a baby" well actually candy is BAD for babies. they shouldn't be having added sugar until they're toddlers, and hard candies are a choking hazard. i'm doing this baby a FAVOR. the baby should be thanking ME
If the baby is old enough to thank you, it can probably handle a little candy
they keep whining every time i steal their candy so obviously none of these brats is mature enough for it. it's hard feeling so unappreciated.....oh well at least I have this enormous bag of candy
not my circus not my monkeys but the clowns....the clowns are beckoning to me
One of my favorite personal sayings is "Forget about your ducks not being in a row, my clowns aren't in their car."
give me a nice thought
bitch I’ll live to WRITE it
normal nightmares, can i have ONE normal nightmare ffs
yanked from slumber by a dream wherein the corporate solution to "the people churn yearn for fresh butter" was "let's bioengineer a miniature cow that people can keep in their refrigerator's butter cubicle where it will regularly poop out fresh butter" (???)
of course that's not how cows work at all, so instead they mutated a sea slug until it was black and white and vaguely cow shaped, self-regenerating, and creamy & delicious. then they pre-sliced that fucker (still alive) and sold it as this season's Can't Fucking Believe It's Not Butter!
all of which i found out (in the dream) when i walked into a grocery store dairy aisle and was faced with row upon row of squirming, writhing, silently-screaming supine slug-cows mooing in slug-agony
so yeah, i miss normal nightmares 👎
I was wondering if this post actually existed or if I was imaging it. And it does! I wish it didn’t :|
oh goodie I've offloaded my nightmares. ur problem now 😘
"time traveler" actually most of the community prefers the term temporally displaced
"happy valentines" so you support driving the snakes out of ireland? unbelievable
wait that's st patrick. hold on gimme a minute to research a reason why st valentine is also problematic
*getting sucked down the rabbit hole* hold up there were at least THREE OF HIM?
huh, sure no one's actually sure who the hell this guy was. not in a "the catholic church basically invented him" way (bc they do do that) but because all we really know about him is he was gruesomely murdered martyred around February 14. and it turns out there are at least THREE dudes named Valentine who fit that description
it gets crazier, there are at least eleven other Saint Valentines because 'Valentine' was a stupidly popular name. so stupidly popular that multiple ones got murdered on the same day. Feb 14 was just a particularly shitty day for guys named Valentine.
"happy valentines" oh yeah? WHICH ONE
imagine if you were brutally tortured to death and 1500 years later school children celebrate your death annually by giving each other chocolates.
thank goodness his bones are secured in that labelmaker reliquary bc they must be ROLLIN'
the consequences of my actions seem concerningly obsessed with me
#Victor Frankenstein
