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I’m just gonna vent about my dysphoria here don’t mind me Trans guy | 15 | T for 2 years | post top surgery

[angerytrans]

Rant about trans kids

I’ve seen a lot of trans people talk about trans kids, usually only adults and pre-everything teens. As someone who came out at 12, transitioned at 13, and has met trans kids younger than me, I feel like I should talk about this topic from a more unique perspective. Everything that I talk about is something that I or other kids I have met or heard about have gone through, so I’m not talking out of my ass.

The argument that kids can’t know that they are trans because their brains aren’t fully developed is so dumb. Gender is one of the first things that a child is aware of, and if they are trans they can experience distress towards their body at ages as young as 3. Trans kids also always go to a therapist and/or a doctor that specializes in trans kids, and they can tell if a child is actually dealing with gender issues or just GNC.

An 8 year old trans girl who enjoys trucks, blue, and action figures and an 8 year old cis boy who enjoys pink, dolls, and dresses will feel very different towards their gender. The cis boy may feel confused because he is raised to believe that those toys are only for girls, and thus may feel like he should be a girl. The cis boy however will be fine being called “he” and be okay with the idea of being an adult man. But the trans girl will feel distress towards her body. She will be confused because even though she has the same interests as stereotypical boys her age, she will feel weird when she is called “he”, be confused when her parents tell her that she will grow up to be a man, and be horrified when she learns about what testosterone will do to her body.

Trans kids do not get SRS. The only example I could find was of a German girl who got it at 13, but that was a fucking iFunny post calling her a boy so I doubt that it’s true. The youngest I have heard of is 17. Most people seem to think that kids say “I want to be a girl/boy/whatever” and are immediately put under the knife. That is definitely not the case. Trans kids go through more examination and we are constantly battling with insurance to cover our hormones and/or top surgery cause rich old men in suits think that we’re too young to know what we’re doing.

Hormone blockers can be bad if the person on them does not have any other hormones in their body, but trans kids are put on them when they are reaching the age when puberty normally starts for their AGAB, or if they are already showing signs of puberty, so we are usually only on blockers for 1-2 years, and then perscribed hormones. Hormone blockers don’t do any permanent damage. I was only on blockers for 6 months and I’m completely fine.

There will always be someone who regrets transition. It does not matter if they are 10 or 100. Regret and detransitioning will unfortunately always be a thing. There are a lot more adults who detransition than children, but no one (except for a few idiots) says that no adults should transition, but when ONE child goes on hormones and regrets it, people flip their shit and say that no child ever should be able to transition. It’s also funny how those people are horrified at the child developing dysphoria from transition, but don’t bat an eye at trans kids who are forced to go through the wrong puberty every day. You should obviously feel bad for detransitioned kids, but you should feel the same way for pre-transition trans kids.

Thank you for your time, support your local trans kid today.

(And before anyone says it, cause I know y’all will, just socially transitioning is not a good solution for a lot of us. Puberty will fuck us up whether we are using our correct pronouns and wearing clothes associated with our gender or not.)

[themoonandaddiction-deactivated]

Hey uhhhhhh hot take but don’t automatically refer adult transmen as “boys” when you call their cis counterpart “men” (unless that transman you are refering to is absolutely okay with you calling them boy).

It’s really infantilizing.

Same thing with transwomen. Don’t automatically call them “girls” because they’re trans, but refer to all cis adults as “women” (again, unless they’re explicitly okay with it)

[angerytrans]

Why do so many people on this site, more specifically voluntarily non-op trans men, insist on talking shit about phallo and spreading misconceptions to pre-op trans men and boys and getting them to think that phalloplasty isn’t right for them?

I used to think that I shouldn’t get phallo cause it wouldn’t feel “natural” or be “functional” like a cis man’s dick, but a few hours of learning about post-op men’s experiences and looking at a few results made me realize that that wasn’t the case. It’s very rare to not have the nerves connect properly (like a 1% chance, even then you’ll still have a little bit of feeling) and there are cis men who don’t have a “functional” dick (inability to get erect naturally, lack of ejaculation during orgasm) according to these people’s standards. The results are also amazing and look 100% cis, but because of the common belief that post-op dicks don’t look natural, you’ll see many people say “wow your results are the best that I’ve ever seen” when the person’s results look like dicks that I’ve seen on dozens of other trans men. But because people’s main exposure to post-op dicks are ones that usually only have the first stage done and are 10 years old, they’re shocked when they see one that has just been considered a normal or average looking phallo result for years. (I don’t mean this in a bad way, I mean that the results look good but literally every dick looks like that)

We’re not allowed to talk shit about top surgery results because it’s body shaming, and rightfully so, but we can talk shit about phalloplasty as much as we want. Showing a post top man’s chest that has complications as an example of all top surgery results is wrong because it’s just a bad result that rarely happens, but sharing a post phallo man’s dick that has complications, or just looks a little “off” to you as an example of all phallo is fine because you’re “spreading awareness”. When you share a post-op man’s dick to people that isn’t completed, has necrosis, or has some other kind of complication in a negative way, you are not only making horrible generalizations about an advanced surgery, you are also mocking a man who has spent so much money and has gone through so much pain just to be content with his body. I’ve seen pre transition trans guys call post-op dicks “frankendicks”, “gummy worms”, and “knee arm penises” and say that them using those horrible names for phallo dicks is just “coping” with the fact that they’ll never be satisfied with or get phallo. Not wanting bottom surgery is fine, the problem is when those people shame and make fun of those who do. If you don’t want a certain procedure I suggest that you shut up about it if you’re just going to say negative and false things about it. It’s sad that even with a new technique that’s going to be used in around 2 years, a lower complication rate, and a higher satisfaction rate, there are still people who want to spread these blatant lies.

If you’re a trans guy or anyone else who is interested in bottom surgery, only listen to post-op men and men who are looking into or about to get bottom surgery. Go on Transbucket to see newer results. Learn about all the bad things and all of the good things, think about if every risk is worth it, even if you have a higher chance of winning the lottery than getting it. Just don’t listen to people who have said that they do not want bottom surgery, because they are usually very wrong about any concerns you may have.

[lunasolarus-deactivated20180729]

While I personally don’t want to explore bottom surgery quite yet, I will echo how awful phallo-shaming is.

When I was much younger the internet wasn’t the playground of information that it is now, and even though I knew something was wrong with me and I was trying to surreptitiously research it, all of the information I found talked about how expensive and horrible it was, with pics of first stage phallo or pics of botched surgeries and a heavy emphasis on it being body mutilation, and it traumatized me. I’m old enough now to say that it absolutely traumatized me.

Because it took me almost ten years and a deeper understanding from college and better resources to finally come out as FTM. Seeing those scare tactics left me closeted, suicidal, and depressed for my entire teen and young adult years, and that absolutely robbed me of years of my life (so much work experience that I now squirrel away because of my dead name, having to jump through hoops to explain my education if someone snoops too far back, etc).

We really need to promote better information about bottom surgery, or at the very least stop trying to paint it as this awful, hideous thing. I can’t fathom how many guys like me might have ended up in denial or closeted for an unnecessary amount of time because of such an experience.

[angerytrans]

Why do so many people on this site, more specifically voluntarily non-op trans men, insist on talking shit about phallo and spreading misconceptions to pre-op trans men and boys and getting them to think that phalloplasty isn’t right for them?

I used to think that I shouldn’t get phallo cause it wouldn’t feel “natural” or be “functional” like a cis man’s dick, but a few hours of learning about post-op men’s experiences and looking at a few results made me realize that that wasn’t the case. It’s very rare to not have the nerves connect properly (like a 1% chance, even then you’ll still have a little bit of feeling) and there are cis men who don’t have a “functional” dick (inability to get erect naturally, lack of ejaculation during orgasm) according to these people’s standards. The results are also amazing and look 100% cis, but because of the common belief that post-op dicks don’t look natural, you’ll see many people say “wow your results are the best that I’ve ever seen” when the person’s results look like dicks that I’ve seen on dozens of other trans men. But because people’s main exposure to post-op dicks are ones that usually only have the first stage done and are 10 years old, they’re shocked when they see one that has just been considered a normal or average looking phallo result for years. (I don’t mean this in a bad way, I mean that the results look good but literally every dick looks like that)

We’re not allowed to talk shit about top surgery results because it’s body shaming, and rightfully so, but we can talk shit about phalloplasty as much as we want. Showing a post top man’s chest that has complications as an example of all top surgery results is wrong because it’s just a bad result that rarely happens, but sharing a post phallo man’s dick that has complications, or just looks a little “off” to you as an example of all phallo is fine because you’re “spreading awareness”. When you share a post-op man’s dick to people that isn’t completed, has necrosis, or has some other kind of complication in a negative way, you are not only making horrible generalizations about an advanced surgery, you are also mocking a man who has spent so much money and has gone through so much pain just to be content with his body. I’ve seen pre transition trans guys call post-op dicks “frankendicks”, “gummy worms”, and “knee arm penises” and say that them using those horrible names for phallo dicks is just “coping” with the fact that they’ll never be satisfied with or get phallo. Not wanting bottom surgery is fine, the problem is when those people shame and make fun of those who do. If you don’t want a certain procedure I suggest that you shut up about it if you’re just going to say negative and false things about it. It’s sad that even with a new technique that’s going to be used in around 2 years, a lower complication rate, and a higher satisfaction rate, there are still people who want to spread these blatant lies.

If you’re a trans guy or anyone else who is interested in bottom surgery, only listen to post-op men and men who are looking into or about to get bottom surgery. Go on Transbucket to see newer results. Learn about all the bad things and all of the good things, think about if every risk is worth it, even if you have a higher chance of winning the lottery than getting it. Just don’t listen to people who have said that they do not want bottom surgery, because they are usually very wrong about any concerns you may have.