𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐀𝐒 𝐊𝐀𝐍𝐔 — ( 𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐨𝐟𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐲 )
For the duration of several long pulls and exhales of his cigarra, Elias sits and lets the silence hang between them unbroken. While he does have other things to do, he’s in no particular rush to end things. For all his typical grumbling at the notion of mingling with the masses, even he eventually grows to miss interacting with others, and the younger man is one of very few who he can both stand to be around and know that very little will be expected of him from the exchange. At length, however, with the comm sitting untouched and no more insults being hurled his way he figures that they’ve reached a stalemate in need of breaking. With a nod, he makes to rise from his seat.
“Well, I made my offer, and that’s all I came here to do. Take it or leave it, the choice is yours.” With that, he lifts his hood back to obscure his features and takes his leave without waiting for Heian’s response, not that expected there to be one anyway.
𝐇𝐄𝐈𝐀𝐍 𝐃𝐈𝐃𝐍’𝐓 𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘 from his downward cast as elias extracted himself from the table. his offering remained untouched as another round of patrons came and went. doused by the shadows of his hood, the man remained in his seat, unmoving as life moved around him. his drink forgotten. the thickening component added to give the caf body congealed and dried over the hours till the bottom of the cup resembled cracked mud.
eventually, he moved. calloused fingers closed around the comlink. it rolled to a stop on the palm of his hand, feeling heavier than it should. for a moment, heian toyed with the idea of crushing it, turning brittle temptation into scrap. he still had enough strength for that. engulfing the comm in a fist, heian applied just enough pressure to feel the device’s housing unit tense. he paused, taken aback by the onset of hesitation. releasing the comlink again to the open air, heian studied it as the hovel’s lightning drained from his eyes.
he slipped the comm into his pocket, picturing it accidentally crushed by a passing hovercrate during a shift on the docks. excusing him of any fault in its destruction and never using it for its intended purpose. the comm remained sequestered on his hip for several agonizing rotations before the blasted thing burned a figurative hole in both his pocket and his mind. heian banished the surprisingly hardy device to recess of his meager possessions where it would stay for months.
but he never completely forgot about it. every once in an unintentional while, its image would inavde his thoughts, especially when he was staring at the ceiling in bed, its presence less than an arm’s length away. even worse was when heian genuinely needed something from his personal storage and while digging through, his hand brushed against the offending matter.
putting distance between himself and his shared quarters on the gilty pleasure provided no relief. the comm and its potential remained intrusive.
heian purposefully lost count of how many standard months passed since the stubborn old man had injected his placid life with a growing gnaw. the simple act of retrieving the comlink from under a pair of work gloves felt like an act of violence. the corner muscle of heian’s mouth twitched as he fixed the device with a mean stare. his mouth felt drier the longer he looked.
fingers fidgeted as he lifted the comlink to a pair of tight lips. he swallowed the little moisture there was in his mouth as his heart picked up speed. heian winced, tossing the comlink back into the storage box, slamming the lid with a temperamental bang. the man stormed away, turning his bent back on the room as he retreated with his pride.
and a time part later, he was back, gripping the comm with grotesque fascination.
if nothing could be done to fix his hemorrhaging connection to the force, then nothing would change. he’d go, waste some valueless time entertaining an old man, then slink back into obscurity never to be bothered again.
and if heian could be fixed . . .
the what forced his hand again, tossing the comm back into storage but this time the lid didn’t make contact when the man attempted to slam it shut. instead it hovered, while his eyes squeezed shut. unable to close the karking thing, heian slumped forward, his forehead clunking against the container.
why? he wasn’t happy, he wasn’t at peace. the heart of his identity was gone, leaving him with a gaping wound that would never heal. wasn’t that enough? wasn’t that plenty for the universe to let him be?
for the last time, heian plucked the device from dappled shadows. blood rushed too his head as his hand floated closer to his lips. his mouth opened and closed, sounds resembling words unable to break through the invisible blockade at the back of his throat. trembling hands betrayed him when his thumb triggered the device.
❝ if the offer still stands, ❞ voice rotted with disuse, heian grappled with the reality that he was speaking. speaking and praying no one would hear him. ❝ i accept. ❞
one hand clapped against his face, making an odd sound when the heel of his palm bumped against his vocoder mask. the other, still gripping the comlink, dropped to his side as if all its muscle liquified.
❝ since i have nothing better to do, ❞ he growled at himself, rubbing his face in an ineffective attempt to soothe himself. shock was what stayed his hand from flinging the device against the nearest wall and seeking out the nearest airlock. still cupping his face, heian planted himself on his bed with a sigh from deep within his body.
only then did the man realize he wasn’t alone. his roadian roommate was standing in the doorway. enormous, prismatic eyes unblinking. ❝ i walked in on something. ❞ heian started to get up from his bed when the rodian threw his scrawny arms up into the air, ❝ and i’m walking out. right now. right this second. see, i’m going now. leaving you to, uh, you. p-please, don’t get up on my behalf, sully — sulla! . . . kark. ❞
the rodian’s spindly legs nearly snapped in quarters in his attempt to flee. heian watched his crewmate go, the expression beneath his half mask one of deadpan pity. to say his interactions with his colleagues were sparse was generous. in fact, it was heian’s refusal to socialize that earned him a startling reputation.
depleted, heian rolled onto his bed and stared at his usual spot on the ceiling. at the very least, one person would benefit from him leaving.
