The Cavity of My Soul

I look at you and it aches, because you are everything that I want to be and everything that I am not.

[brok3np4radise-deactivated20250]

Travel and tell no one. Live a true love story and tell no one. Live happily and tell no one. People ruin beautiful things.

Khalil Gibran

[nae-design]

Flower art by Kristen Meyer

[inkskinned]

oh, i'm scared of it. looking down into how much i like you and knowing it only grows from there. like i am huddled beyond the safe point; too far already. what am i supposed to say? you were never one for poetics. i can't bear it, it only seeks to swallow me, and all that big raw heart of mine with it.

[inkskinned]

i want to go everywhere and do everything with you. a few days ago i saw a bald eagle in the wild and i just wanted you to be there so you could see it too. this is the thing about loneliness - it isn't the wild moments or the quiet mornings or the cold tea in another room. it's the sudden, yearning knowledge - living feels better beside you.

[jeanmoreaux]

— Fredrik Backman, Anxious people

[quotefeeling]

“To have someone understand your mind is a different kind of intimacy.”

— Unknown

[animacava]

One of these days, I'll wonder

About you, about me, about the things between us

Are we even real?

Or are we hopes, born from the deep wishes of my heart,

Born from my inability to hold the tongue.

Are we us because we are,

or because I did ask us to be?

[academiaa-a]

i keep oscillating between being mistki’s “but if I gave up on being pretty i wouldn't know how to be alive” and “they call you pretty like it matters. this is girlhood and they kill you with it”

[cmacaulays]

gwendolyn brooks / milsae / richard siken / mario miranda / ross gay / jacob van loop

[pissleg]

no longer fits

[blossomfully]

Sue Zhao

[gloombog]

excerpts from "catastrophe is next to godliness" by franny choi (august 2020)

[resqectable]

So, if you are too tired to speak, sit next to me because I, too, am fluent in silence.

R. Arnold (via resqectable)

[animacava]

I really. Really really really want to be dead.

Or maybe disappear forever.

Like poof! Gone.

I want to be dead. Like god god god I want to stop living.

[animacava]

I have loved and I love again

And both is wrong, wrong, and so wrong. Both is ugly, both is derailed.

Both is fleeting, still it hurt all the same.

And people has been telling me that it’s not worth it. That broken heart for something that is just wrong is so not worth it. That my tears have been false. That my feelings have been false.

But it’s mine. Don’t I get to decide whether my feelings are false or not? Even if my love isn’t right, even if it’s stupid, the feelings that I feel... Are they not real? Then how do I explain this suffocation, this pain, this agony, these thumps on my head, this constriction in my chest.... how, How?

So please don’t decide about me, about the feelings in my heart. They are mine. and mine alone they stay.

[animacava]

Oh god come on. Let's just do it.

My body don't move like my mind wants it to. I'm torn in between the two.

'Let's go', my mind says to my body, 'do it.'

Jump.

Slit.

Choke.

Do it do it do it.

Tens and tens of ways to make our life stop, let's do it. Let's do it you and I, I know we can do it.

What's so hard about falling, what's so hard about tipping the edge of the cutter to a vein.

What's so hard about drinking, even if it's poison.

What's so hard about dying. You want to stop. I want to stop. And we get to stop if we can just do it. Do one of these things.

But why can't we do it still?

[animacava]

It's been long since I last tried to hurt myself.

The urge still lingers, but it's been so long since I actually put an effort to actually do it.

Is it a good thing? Is it a bad thing?