cry me a river | 01
— summary: you tried so hard to be enough
— pairing: bts x reader
— genre: angst, mafia!au, arranged marriage!au
— word count: 5.8k
— warnings: ANGST, heartbreak, breaking up, divorce
— a/n: i am sooo sorry, but i was listening to this song and i just...yeah
A shatter of glass hitting the floor, you flinch slightly as you walk into the room and realize Namjoon must be angry at his subordinates.
He isn't one to release his anger out in the open so easily, it isn't like him, but you guess Hoseok getting hurt in the process of a mission due to someone's careless mistake must have been enough to tick him off.
You don't really blame him but a part of you sympathizes with the man who is now at the center of the boss's anger.
"Namjoon." You bravely walk in and almost see the relief spread across the subordinate's expression but ignore him to walk over to your husband. You reach out to touch him on the shoulder but Namjoon quickly holds up a hand.
"Don't," he demands, eyes shut tight with a clenched jaw and you know it'll take him some time to calm down.
So you turn to the man on his knees before him.
"You may go," you tell him in a soft whisper to make sure he knows that any sudden noise will only bring the boss of the mafia more ire.
He leaves the moment you give him the opportunity, although knowing very well that punishment would befall him soon enough. That itself you cannot stop but if he was the reason Hoseok got hurt, you guess he deserves some sort of punishment to make things right again.
Sighing, you turn to the boss who's now at his seat, head down with brows creasing so deep a part of you is almost afraid to approach him. But you know Namjoon wouldn't do anything to hurt you.
"Joon?" He likes it most when you call him that name and so you step up with a careful approach.
Usually, he'll allow you to come, and usually, he'll let you comfort him, but this time Namjoon's too upset to calm down so he shakes his head at you, causing you to stop in your steps.
"Just leave," he says, emotionlessly.
He's usually careful with his tone towards you but you understand his anger. Hoseok got hurt after all.
"I'll come back later, alright?"
"No." He turns his chair so that all you can see is the back of the chair. "Not tonight."
He's too upset and he has reasons to be. Being the mafia boss to one of the most notorious gangs isn't always the easiest and when someone carelessly hurts one of his members, more so his lover, of course he wouldn't be in a good headspace.
You know it wouldn't be good to leave him alone like this but you also understand that Namjoon needs some time to himself. He'll let you come to him when he needs it.
In the meantime, you just need to give him the space he wants.
"Alright." So you say, and begin to walk towards the door. "Hoseok hasn't woken up just yet but, when you need me, I'll always be here. Goodnight Joon."
Your voice is kind against the darkness of the room, and when the door shuts behind you, it feels empty.
Namjoon hates the silence that walks in.
.
.
.
When you walk into another office, you find Seokjin and Yoongi discussing some things in grave tones.
"Can I help in any way?"
They look over to find you and although it should have eased some tensions, it doesn't this time.
"No babygirl, just run along, alright?" Seokjin says, sparing you a smile so transient you hardly believe it was there in the first place, before he returns his conversation with Yoongi, who's too busy to even spare you a second.
The situation with Hoseok definitely has them on their toes, and so you bid them a soft goodbye, one you're sure they never heard, and leave them alone for the time being.
As you're walking down the hall of headquarters, it seems everyone is busy with them running around from place to place and you feel hopeless in that you can't be of any help to them.
You want to be useful, someone they can rely on, but if you were to try anything, you're sure you'd only get in the way. So you leave it to watching from afar despite how disappointed you are in yourself for not being able to help anyone.
Jimin and Jungkook are training underground while Taehyung is busy locking himself up in his computer lab, hacking away.
You're not exactly needed anywhere so you find yourself naturally walking back to where Hoseok is being hospitalized.
Even in sleep he seems to be in pain, so you hold the hands that feel so cold, trembling just a bit, yet it stops seconds after the touch of your hand. Almost as if Hoseok knows it's you, as if he can feel your presence and a touch alone can make it all better even in sleep.
You release a rueful smile as you sit by his bedside, watching the mafia man who has yet to wake.
At least you can be helpful here.
.
.
.
"How long have I been asleep?"
You gasp at the sound of Hoseok's voice, head quick to perk up and slap your book closed. "Hoseok!" He winces slightly at your loud call and you shrink back. "I'm sorry."
"It's alright," he sighs as he touches his head, only to realize he's hooked up to some IVs. "Damn," Hoseok grunts with frustration and goes on to try and rip it off his arm.
"Wait, Hoseok, you're still weak," you quickly intervene by holding his hand back.
When he looks at you, he can see the fear and concern written so well upon your face, and Hoseok sighs at the sight. "Babygirl." A simple call for you and he can see the tears welling up along your waterline. "Come here." When he opens his arms for you, you're quick to let him hold you close after the countless days he's been unable to wake. "You were scared, weren't you?"
You nod against his chest. "No one explained the situation to me so I didn't know what to think. I was so scared, Hoseok. You've been asleep for four days."
"That long, huh?"
"So please don't do anything irrational like ripping your IV off, even if it's irritating."
Hoseok chuckles lightly. "Alright, alright," he concedes. "Wouldn't want to worry my babygirl any more than I already have."
"Hoseok."
The reunion doesn't last long when you hear Namjoon's voice and look up to find the rest of them walking in.
"You've finally woken."
Hoseok rolls his eyes as you get off him. "Happy to see you too, Namjoon."
"I need you to tell me what you saw that night." He gets straight to the point without any wishes for small talk. You haven't seen Namjoon smile in a while, neither anger nor tears. He's simply just...emotionless.
You know Hoseok noticed it as well when the rest of them has created the atmosphere to be even tenser.
There isn't a glance your way except for when Hoseok's about to speak. "Y/N." You look at Taehyung when he addresses you. "Have you eaten?"
Ah.
You're not needed here.
Noting at their intention, you stand from your chair and grab your book. "I'll uh...get lunch."
"Mmh."
You've gotten so lonely.
But this is a serious time, you can't let your feelings get in the way. After all, you aren't like them.
Still, if only you were more useful.
.
.
.
Later that night, left to a quiet night with Namjoon by your side, you hesitate to yourself, wondering why the room is so silent but also understanding that if you don't make a sound, he'd never be the first to speak to you.
"Namjoon?"
"Hm." He answers you in a heartbeat, letting you know that he had been up with you all this time without saying a word.
You press your lips together and slowly turn over to your side in order to face your husband. "How are you feeling?"
"What do you mean?" As emotionless as ever. He's usually better than this, making the effort to give you a smile, make you comfortable, but all that's left right now is an uncomfortable silence.
You sit up from the bed, not liking this and wanting to talk things out. Namjoon needs this, you know it. When the time is right, he'll return to his normal self where he's still cold and emotionless towards his subordinates but will be a little more expressive towards you and the other six.
"I'm asking you...if you're alright." You say in a soft whisper, eyes following him as he sits up from the bed as well. Though he doesn't meet your gaze, you watch him carefully.
"I'm fine," he says after a moment.
You frown. "I know you aren't."
For some reason that hits a nerve. "Who are you to assume that, Y/N?"
You flinch at the harshness in his tone as well as the glare he sends your way. Despite the room being so dark, you can still make out the expression on his face and it brings chills down your spine.
You take a moment to compose yourself, knowing he's just not in the right headspace with all the stress that has been going on around him. "Namjoon, I'm just saying that you can take a break every once in a while. You're stressed, I understand, but—"
"Do you?"
You blink when he cuts you off. "Huh?"
"Do you truly understand or are you just saying that?"
"W-well," you stutter, taken back by his question. "Of course I'd never truly understand all it is that you're going through but—"
"But what?" Why is he being like this? So...angry? You've never seen him like this before. "Stop trying to pretend that you can magically make things all better just because you've lived a better life than I have."
You frown. "What are you saying?"
"Just give it up, Y/N. Your whole life you've lived under the care of your father and when he passed you down to me to take care of you, things are going so well for you, isn't it? You've never had to live the sort of life I have despite being born in the same field as I. Our lives are completely different, Y/N, and you will never understand that."
"..." You don't know what to say to that, not when he's so upset that he's beginning to take out his anger on you.
Still, it makes you upset hearing those things from his lips.
He's your husband, your lover, so why?
"Look, our lives may not have been the same growing up but that doesn't mean you can place your anger out on me," you tell him, feeling a small ire walking in on you but you know you can't let it get to you. Namjoon's just stressed and you can't add to that. "You know more than anyone how it is to live under a mafia household so why are you making it seem as if my life has been all rainbows and sunshine?"
"Even if it wasn't, you'd never understand the sort of path I have to walk on."
"Okay fine, I would never understand it but that doesn't mean I won't try." You look at him with frustration. "I'm just trying to help you, Namjoon."
"You can do so by getting out of the way. You're useless when you try to help."
Stunned by the words that are coming out of his mouth, you pause to take it all in, and in a way, for him to also hear what he had just said to you. Yet even as the seconds pass by, it seems Namjoon doesn't regret his words and indeed meant it.
"Namjoon..."
Almost as if hearing that unbelievable expression leaving your lips has irritated him even more, Namjoon flips the blanket off him as he begins to storm off. But you aren't going to let him go that easily.
"Namjoon stop, let's talk about this."
He turns around after opening the door to your room, a piercing glare made your way. "Did you not hear what I just said? If you want to be useful, do that by getting out of my way. What use is a daughter of a mafia to me if she can't even follow simple instructions?"
Your anger shoots right up.
"You will not talk to me in that way. As if all I am to you is a pawn made by the exchange between my father and you."
Namjoon scoffs. "Isn't that what you are?"
You can't believe him.
"I may have been a pawn at first but we found love in this loveless arranged marriage and I will not have you talk to me that way. I'm not your pawn, Namjoon. I am your wife."
"Then be a good little housewife and stop pestering me if you don't want to piss me off even further." With that, he slams the door right at your face, its sound so loud and forceful you feel the wind passing for a split moment.
The loud sound echoes against your ear, ringing even past the silence of the room which had begun to flow in.
Useless.
You were useless to him, he said, as if all you are to him is a pawn, a chess piece exchanged from the hands of your father and right into his.
It takes a while for you to take those words in but when you do, your cheeks are wet before you even notice it.
And in the silence of the night, your cries echo loudly into the empty room that was meant to be shared between a loving husband and wife.
.
.
.
"Um, Jimin—"
"Hey." You stop when he turns your way abruptly, not aware he would do that when you called for him, and wait for the man to speak. Jimin notes the way you fall silent, obedient, and places a hand on the top of your head. "He didn't mean those words."
Ah, he heard.
Of course he did, they probably all did.
The fight was loud after all. And if it wasn't that then they certainly would have heard the loud slam of the door last night.
You shrink back at Jimin's assurance, unsure of how to take it in and unable to meet his eyes.
"I...I know."
You don't.
And he knows that.
"I have to train for a mission but, feel better, alright?" He pats you lightly on the head and that's all he leaves you with.
If only it was that easy.
You wish he could have given you a kiss.
.
.
.
The effect of your fight with Namjoon not only causes a strain in your relationship with him but with the others as well.
Whenever you want to help, you're reminded of Namjoon's words and almost immediately back away from being a bother to the rest of them. Namjoon's upset at you and you wouldn't want the rest of them to get upset at you too.
You'll only get in the way if you try to help.
And you think they notice it as well, but no one tries to do anything about it and it hurts.
It hurts because they used to be so good at making you feel better, at reassuring you of their love for you.
But things are changing and you aren't sure what to do any longer.
"What's wrong?"
Hoseok, who still needs medical attention and has yet to be updated on...the situation, is left in the blind. So when he looks at you with genuine obliviousness, as well as concern, you know you can't bother him about this mess. He has to focus on recovering after all.
"Nothing, Hoseok."
The fake, overly wide smile you give him leaves a deadpanned frown on his face.
"You think you're so slick, sweetheart, but you can never hide anything from you." He hits you lightly on the head, not enough to hurt, to make sure you understand. "Now come on, tell me what's wrong."
How can you ever hide anything from Hoseok?
Still, it wouldn't be right to bother him when you know all of this is your fault in the first place. If you were stronger, perhaps you'd be less of a burden to them. If you were more confident and had more knowledge of the mafia.
You're a daughter of a mafia boss after all, so why are you so useless?
"I just...I just miss you, Hoseok."
It isn't a lie and he knows that. You do truly miss him because right now Hoseok's the only one that's giving you attention and love. You feel worthless around the rest of them.
"Oh, babygirl..." When he sees the tears falling from your eyes, Hoseok's quick to pull you right into the bed with him and hold you close.
You miss this.
You miss their arms around you and how they used to prioritize your tears over everything.
Things are falling apart and you aren't sure how to make it right again.
"I miss you too, Y/N, but I promise I'll get better in no time, alright?" You don't respond but he holds you still, resting your head on his chest so that you can hear the beat of his heart.
He doesn't know anything at the moment but you don't want to tell him anything. After all, if he finds out, maybe he'll succumb to those thoughts as well.
Just as the others seem to have.
.
.
.
"Mr. Kim and Miss Lee look like such a power couple standing side by side, don't they?"
"But isn't Mr. Kim already married?"
"Who cares, they look great with one another."
The lady laughs, agreeing.
You stare at the champagne in hand, swirling it in the glass cup as you stand towards the corner of the lit-up room, knowing no one really knows the face of Kim Namjoon's wife. You may be your father's daughter, who's also powerful in this world but your face has always been hidden from the media.
It's stayed that way even after your marriage with Namjoon.
A part of you is relieved, after all being the centerpiece between two powerful gangs would be quite the reward for the enemies, but you also know that it means keeping yourself hidden as Namjoon's wife.
He's a handsome man, charismatic despite his intimidating features but that makes him all the more charming and attractive to others.
At parties, you can't stand proudly by his side and at conventions, you're meant to hide as an outcast would.
What's the use of all of this? I'm not even needed here. You look up at where your husband mingles with a few people, Miss Lee by his side and remaining quite close but he does nothing to shake her off despite being a married man.
A sigh leaves your lips.
It seems I'm not needed anywhere.
You pass your glass to a waiter and leave the room to escape to the balcony hidden away by some large curtains. Not many people know there's a balcony here so you take the advantage to be left alone, knowing you'd much rather look at the bright moon than see your husband mingle with some ladies.
He used to hate the presence of women, enough to be openly rude and shake them off but it seems he's better now after getting used to you.
You aren't sure whether to be grateful or jealous.
But either way, it didn't feel good hearing those gossips from the ladies back in that room.
Miss Lee, a beautiful and confident woman.
Would she have been a better choice of marriage for Namjoon? After all, she has better knowledge about the mafia world, rather than you who have been sheltered away from it despite being born into one. Maybe it's because of that, because she's strong enough to join a mafia and stick with it unlike you who was just privileged enough and never even got to be made of use as a mafia's daughter.
A useless child, a useless wife, and a useless lover.
You want to become numb to the pain but you can't. Not when it was Namjoon himself who told you those exact words.
"What are you doing here?"
You don't even have to look to know who it is.
Your husband's voice.
And he's the only other person in this party who knows of this hidden balcony. A few years ago the both of you came here to escape and bumped into one another. It was nice then but right now you just want to be alone.
The disappointment in his tone only makes you hate yourself even more.
"I wanted to get some fresh air."
"It would do you well to mingle."
Can you ever get anything right?
You sigh and turn his way. "Forgive me, but I thought it'd be better for me to escape the scene rather than make a fool out of myself by being a disappointment to the public."
His brows crease at your petty excuse and it hurts. It hurts the way he looks at you with disgust and disdain. "What's the use of coming here if this is all you're going to do?"
It wasn't your choice to come here so why is he putting the blames on you?
Then again, your lack of confidence and worth in yourself has downgraded even more these past few weeks so perhaps he's right.
You're useless.
"I'm sorry," you lower your head with embarrassment. "I'll do better."
Namjoon doesn't say anything else and simply leaves you there all alone once more.
Alone to the thoughts which hurts you even more than he can ever.
.
.
.
"Jungkook, you haven't eaten, have you?"
He jumps slightly at your voice, takes one small glance over his shoulder before returning to his shooting. "I'm a little busy here," he says flatly and shoots two bullets at his target.
"Right, but...please take a break, Jungkook. Don't push yourself too hard."
"Mmh."
"I uh...made you a sandwich. It isn't much so you can take like, a quick five minute break or so."
"Yeah."
Short answers, without much emotion, and you find yourself shrinking back as you watch the youngest of the seven ignore you for some training.
He used to crave your for your attention but now...things are changing and you hate it.
Are you not enough? They still talk to each other normally, still exchange smiles and greetings so...are you the problem? Is that it?
Knowing that bothering him any longer isn't going to help, you walk yourself out the door despite wanting to talk to the youngest one so badly.
.
.
.
You're losing your mind.
It's been weeks since that angry fight with Namjoon and although you've tried your best to mend your relationship, nothing has changed. You aren't sure what to do anymore and it pains you knowing you're the only one who's trying here.
Why?
Why can't you be enough?
Why can't you be useful to them?
The fake smiles in front of Hoseok which upsets him from time to time, the desperate kindness you give towards the others that become wasted just seconds afterward.
You can't do anything right, it seems.
"Y/N, how many times do I tell you to stop frowning? The infirmary room is already depressing as it is."
You know Hoseok means well, you know he isn't saying that to hurt your feelings but after the short responses and flat answers you've received from the others, you just can't seem to do well anymore. But he's right, you shouldn't be coming in here with a sad smile when Hoseok needs your strength more than anything.
At least you're still of use to him.
Through the weeks, Hoseok's the only one who can make you feel better but as the days pass and the longer he has to stay in the infirmary, the harder it is to truly believe in anything anymore. You aren't sure what to do and it hurts to be lost when your thoughts are tearing you apart.
What makes it worse is that no one seems to care.
So you find yourself taking a stroll by yourself one evening. It's late and dangerous going out alone without a bodyguard but you don't want anyone else to be with you. Not when it'll be so easy to break down.
You'd hate for a stranger to have to witness that and then possibly snitch to your lovers — if that's what you even call them anymore.
Either way, it's been quite a while since you've gone out by yourself. Back then the boys used to be so overprotective of you, even when you had first started your arranged marriage with Namjoon. They cared then, even for a stranger whom they barely knew.
You miss those days.
Perhaps they've gotten too used to you and are tired of the constant lack of self-worth you have for yourself.
Because now all they are are memories. Memories left forgotten and for the wind to carry it forward.
How much more can you try only for the results to end up in shame? You're the only one trying at this point and you think, perhaps, their love for you is withering. After all, they can still rely on each other and talk normally.
So why is it so hard for you unless they don't love you anymore?
Your stomach drops and pain shoots through your heart when your thoughts lead to that.
Do they...not love you anymore?
"No...please no..." You hold a hand over your mouth, not wanting to make a sound even though you know you're alone, not wanting even the wind to hear you. Because it hurts and if you cry, it'll only feel more real.
You don't want to accept that. You don't want to admit that.
What changed? What went wrong?
"What's a lady doing out here crying all alone?"
You gasp at the unfamiliar voice and snap your head his way.
He's a tall man, much bigger than you, and goosebumps begin to crawl down your body.
"Hold on, I think I've seen you before." You hold your breath as he examines you, and when he grabs ahold of your wrist to force your hand away from your face, you let out a squeak of fear. Those dangerous eyes of his, twisting even more the longer he takes a look at you, your body begins to tremble with fear. "I see," he chuckles darkly. "You're Namjoon's woman, aren't you?"
Oh no.
.
.
.
Heartbeat beating so loud against your chest.
Loud.
Louder.
As your body still trembles.
You hold your wrist, trying to stop the shaking but knowing you can't ease your fear with just simply that. So as you walk towards the room you know that it is filled with them, thinking that perhaps it'll be better if you're in their presence.
They can make it better.
They always have.
You step up in front of the door, wincing slightly at the pain that shoots up along your right leg, and hold back tears. It's okay, you whisper to yourself. You can do this. While trying to steady your shaky hands, you hold them against the doorknob.
You take a deep breath, shaky though it is, and open the door to walk into a room that had once been filled with exchanging words, falling into complete silence.
They look up to find you, wondering why you've just walked in, and although intimidated by the stares, you try your best to keep yourself composed as you walk towards the group, hiding the limp of your leg. It hurts immensely but you don't want to show them.
Normally you'd instantly cry and silently ask for their help but not this time. This time you can't.
"We uh..." You clear your throat, trying your best. "We need to talk."
Namjoon sighs as he leans against the armchair and crosses a leg over the other. "About?"
You hate that you even have to explain this.
But you keep yourself controlled. "I think we all understand what I am trying to say," you begin, eyes looking anywhere but them as you hide your arms behind you. They still tremble and you'd hate it for them to have to deal with that.
It's fine.
You're in their presence and that usually takes the pain away.
It'll get better.
It always has so that at least can't change, right?
"I'm concerned about where this will lead to."
"Why?"
So blunt.
Without a care.
But you know you can't be too emotional because Namjoon doesn't like that. He'll see your tears as another burden.
You swallow thickly despite the lump which tries to keep you from speaking freely.
"I want...validation."
You hear him scoff and your heart falls.
Ah, you hate this.
You hate this so much.
But for some reason, you haven't shed a tear yet, despite it being so close to falling. Because you're keeping your head down and blinking it back from cascading. Because you know that once a tear falls, the rest will want to follow along and you can't have that.
You can't.
"I'm sorry if I sound needy, I know you're busy but—"
"Exactly." You blink. "We're busy, Y/N."
Why is he so cold? And why aren't the others doing anything to stop him? He may be the boss but they've always openly gone against him if they ever felt he was in the wrong. So why?
Why are you the only one suffering in silence?
"I-I'm sorry." Ah, your voice is shaking, you're starting to sound weak. You take a moment, pause, and clear your throat once again to push the heavy lump away. It's hard, so hard. "Then tell me what's wrong, how I can fix this. Please, communicate with me so I know what to do. It's confusing being left in the dark. Communication is key to a relationship and I want to fix it before it's too late."
Silence.
Complete, utter silence.
You hate this.
It's almost as if you're in a circus, putting on a show, while the audience watches in silence and has no reaction whatsoever.
You feel so embarrassed and filled with shame but you want to work this out, you do.
The question is, do they?
You're scared, so scared.
Even more scared than when you had to deal with that man mere minutes ago.
This sort of fear can never compare and you're so scared to make things worse.
Almost as if you can't take the silence anymore, you fall to your knees, head lowered, and Namjoon's eyes widen as you place both hands on the floor and your head follows along.
"Please." You're begging, and they can hear the breaking in your voice. "Please, I...I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
Begging on your knees, apologizing for things you have no idea what for. But you're desperate. If you've done anything wrong, you have to apologize, whatever it was. You feel so embarrassed, so shameful, but no one's doing anything and it feels as if the whole world is crumbling.
Perhaps you're too desperate.
An idiot still hopelessly in love, begging on her hands and knees for ones who seem to have already moved on.
"...So shameful," Namjoon utters and your heart shatters.
This is it.
This is the end.
You raise your head, taking a moment to yourself, and they watch as you wipe your tears away, before you pick yourself up. You try your best to make it seem as if your leg isn't killing you, you try your best to look composed.
Tears still fall from your eyes but this time you don't stop it because you know it's of no use.
Just like you.
Hands still trembling but for another reason, you reach for your finger. And when the ring slides off your finger, you almost feel as if a part of you is released from the pain, the suffering. Yet at the same time, they all come rushing right in as if a storm of emotions and you tremble upon not knowing how to deal with this. It's never been easy but they've always made things better.
Yet this time you only have yourself to rely on.
You only have yourself.
You look up at them, as if wanting to reaffirm their answers, and when no one says anything, you swallow thickly.
"Then..." You place the ring on the coffee table and turn to Namjoon. With one last smile filled with so many tears, you say, "Let's divorce."
.
.
.
"Babygirl! Y/N! Stop!"
You stop upon the familiar voice of Hoseok's and take a moment to think about this. But Hoseok needs an explanation. After all, he wasn't there that night when you declared your marriage was over with Namjoon, along with severing your ties with the rest of them.
So you turn to your butler and hand him your suitcase before greeting Hoseok.
"Hoseok," you smile, "the doctor hasn't released you yet, so why are you running? You'll hurt yourself."
"You..." He can't believe you can act as if all of this was okay, that all of this had been inevitable from the start. Tears are forming in his eyes and it's the first time you've seen him look so broken, so betrayed. "Why didn't you tell me?" He asks. "You should have told me you were hurting. If you were hurting, I could have done something to knock some sense back into their heads but instead, you kept silent. Why...Why..?! Why would you keep silent about all of this?! Did you think I'd react the same way they did?! Do you not trust me?!"
"Hoseok..."
It's the first time he's shouting at you.
He's angry as hot tears fall from his eyes.
"Why couldn't you trust me, Y/N? Why was I the only one left in the dark?!" He takes your hands, holding them tightly and you can see the desperation in his eyes. Just as you were that night. "Stay. Please stay," he begs. "We can work this out. We can talk this through and love like how we used to and—"
"Hoseok." You cut him off and he stops, tears leaving his eyes, and it hurts seeing him like this.
It's the first time he's trying so hard to stop his tears but understands that he can't do anything. And that hurts him even more. "Why..?" His voice cracks. "Why....?"
The hands which hold yours lose their strength and you take that moment to lay a hand on top of his. He's shaking, hurting, but you make him look up at you.
"I'm sorry Hoseok but..." A tight smile, so broken, and Hoseok realizes just how much pain you had to go through while he was left in oblivion. "I'm tired," you say.
Softly.
A sigh.
With so much pain carrying your voice.
It's the last thing you say before you leave him.
Them.
Where did it all go wrong?
