A Poem About Heroic Deeds
It is my imperative to patiently await penance With a sentence I serve, in essence, without bars or fences, for saving the world with graffiti sentences i spray painted, on and around the premises of the House of Representatives who were all in attendance and bore a striking resemblance to an evil wizard I once lost a bet with to be the first to equip a holy relic on his shopping list that we could find in the screaming abyss, but legendary artifacts are always hit and miss and this one. turned out to be loosely based on 2nd hand legend with no real evidence to begin with. The point I should probably mention before I get stranded on some other distant tangent or stuck in a loop of mental gymnastics or artistic acrobatics is that this aforementioned wizard’s passive perception is not even half of what his intelligence is, and insight is Lower still and he was addicted to medicinal sedatives , long story short he had a preference for strapping Young apprentices and as my wisdom stat Is not much higher than his is, I truly suspected they were animated skeletons risen as thralls by mystical Ben wah balls , before they were stuffed into the vestiges of my dialectician’s distant relatives, but they turned out to just be two bulimic executives that were a little too sensitive that we wouldn’t follow the narrative they envisioned of their utopia of wickedness disguised as a tentative paradigm of tyrannical excellence pulled from the deepest crevices within the horrible lairs of reality’s worst eldritch menaces, but before the modern poetry fans could cross check these pseudo-fictional references; the cultists had come to their senses and because of a preference within their own subconscious awareness, their plan was in motion and every specimen in every planet’s oceans began to cause several spooky disturbances summoning everything from Super Saiyan Kaijus and 20th Level adult Cthulhus to Yog’sothoth wearing soggy socks and a few crackwhore pikachus that continuous abused poor Washed up and retired Goku. All this and too much more would have surely brought on an apocalyptic war that would shake the universe to its core. Then the great old ones and their anomalous genitals grew ventricles out of their testicles causing their massive tentacles to grow pimples and boils so putrid that the high Pope of the 3rd galactic confederation, who was 3 thousand years away but somehow smelt it, was made nauseous, if only a little bit. He was in the he midst of a convention and somehow the smell caused him to botch the drafting of an interdependence prospectus that would end the acceptance of pedophilia regimens that at the time were amassing an army of prepubescent vegetables, that they found perversely delectable, and were using them as sentinels to continue imprisoning homosexuals to Generate idealogical power from gay pride festivals by aligning the pentacles of crackbaby blood, from their crop duster planes filled with PCP smoke that they drew from the sky, to truth north and south destroying Saint Nicholas’ elven whorehouse which inadvertently saved the world as Santa was secretly the big bad guy all along! the Yuletide army of Chris Kringle, who turned out to be the eldest and most evil of the elder evils, was no more and due to this the major conflict I mentioned(for no obvious reason)had ceased and receeded so that the many factions of this war could attempt to fill the power vacuum his jolly fat ass left right before the signing of a cosmic census and divine mandate that gave androids to celebrate their own weird form of birthdays on the day of were made and they free to accept all cookies instead of eating human flesh flavored birthday cake. They were also given the freedom to upload or download themselves, or whoever, into the hearts of us all no matter how real or fake. No matter what species, model or even what make. It was a glorious day and everyone had sex and everyone had a playmate. Noth good, nothing was bad and Everyone finally respected mumble rap and viewed it to be just as good as all that poetic lyrical crap.