Anonymous Dispatch Emails @anonymous-dispatch-emails - Tumblr Blog

The inbox is being read! (Inbox open! Please read!)

Welcome fellow Heroes, Dispatchers, and SDN employees! I am @echoingvoids , your feedback media manager! You have found your way to the Official Anonymous Dispatch Email Address.

Here you may send emails or "confessions" expressing all your thoughts, concerns, and complaints about Dispatch, SDN, and the programs ran.

This is 100% confidential. Identity will not be revealed. However, please follow these basic guidelines.

Email Guidelines

~Submissions can be like a "Dear __" and I'll insert a response or just a standard anonymous confession about the game...your choice!

~Even with Dispatch's adult content, please make sure your confessions are following Tumblr Terms of Service so this blog does not get taken down.

~Emails (confessions) must be in English for moderation purposes.

~All emails must relate to the game Dispatch.

~You must confess anonymously. Any confessions sent that aren't anonymous will be screenshoted with the username removed.

~Absolutely no discrimination of any kind is allowed. This includes but isn't limited to: homophobia, racism, heterophobia, ableism

~Keep your responses and comments on emails civil

~Any emails clearly intending to cause fights will not be posted. Any emails with blatant hating on content creators, fandom members, or the mod of this blog will not be posted.

~P.S: Mod questions are always welcome.

Tags

All confessions will have the tags #dispatch and #dispatch confessions

If it is a "Dear __" style submission with my own response, it will be tagged #dear dispatch management

Any emails discussing shipping wars will have the tag #anti shipping wars

Emails discussing the fandom as a whole will be tagged #dispatch fandom and/or #dispatch fandom criticism

I RESERVE THE RIGHT TO WITHHOLD AN EMAIL FOR REASONS POSSIBLY NOT LISTED ABOVE

Good luck SDN employees!

@echoingvoids

#dispatch #dispatch confessions #anti shipping wars #dispatch fandom #confession blog #blog rules #anon ask #dear dispatch management

Dear HR team,

it's come to my attention that the janitor that looks like a wet borzoi and Flambae keep making out in the spare closet near my cubicle. love is love. but its getting on my nerves when they're inches into eachothers mouths when i need more printer paper or time to curl up and process.

an email to both would be helpful, thanks

—disgruntled dispatcher

Dear disgruntled dispatcher,

Thank you for bringing this to our attention. We have several articles in our handbook about work and life relationships, and Flambe and Waterboy will be reminded of them.

We will also invest in a keypad for the closet and not give them the code. That may hinder these events.

Sincerely,

Superhero Dispatch Network HR

#dispatch #dispatch confessions #dear dispatch management #dispatch flambae #dispatch waterboy #Flambe x waterboy

Robert won't let me inside his house please email him

Greetings,

We value the safety and privacy of our heroes and dispatchers. If Robert will not allow you inside his home, it is likely because he does not want you there. You are legally required to follow his wishes.

Sincerely,

Superhero Dispatch Network HR

#dispatch #dispatch confessions #dear dispatch management #dispatch robert

Dear HR Team,

Please reiterate the rule of not using powers inside the office. Especially not on documents. I’ve noticed members of the Z-team use anything but the designated shredder to get rid of „not satisfactory reports“.

It seems to have become some sort of competition.

Lenny from public relations slipped over a pile of soaked reports and bruised his arm and I am getting a serious headache because the smoke alarm has gone off for the third time in the past two hours because a certain member of the Z-team insists on using flamethrowers instead of the perfectly functioning shredder.

Sincerely, slowly going deaf Dispatcher

Dear Slowly Going Deaf Dispatcher,

We have heard of rumors of report destruction and incorrect file disposal, but had not investigated until your report. While we do not oppose to bringing your own electric shredder instead of using the office-issued ones, we do oppose to open flames or use of knives.

We will speak to Blonde Blazer about doing a short course in document disposal and correct disposal methods. Thank you for your work.

Sincerely,

Superhero Dispatch Network HR

#dear dispatch management #dispatch #dispatch confessions #dispatch flambae

Dear HR,

It's been over a month since phenomaman destroyed my car. I have not been properly reimbursed for the damages since. I live an hour drive away from work, since there are no buses in my area I've had to walk 4 hours a day to get to work and back. 4HOURS A DAY! And that's only if nothing happens on the walk. I literally contacted everyone one I can think of and I cannot get any help or they just ignore me. I'm so close to quitting at this point. This stress is making me loose my hair.

- from a former blonde to probably now bald

Dear Former Blonde,

We are sorry to hear about the damage Phenomaman has caused you! We are still working on reimbursement for everyone who had damage enacted to their property due to his behaviors.

We have included a link below where you can fill out a form for quick reimbursement. We shall have your car replaced in a few days to weeks. Thank you for your continued efforts to arrive at work.

Sincerely,

Superhero Dispatch Network HR

#dear dispatch management #dispatch #dispatch confessions #dispatch phenomaman

Dear HR,

I'm writing because when I came into work last week, I got fitted for my new superhero uniform. It's definitely a bit more....showy than I'm used to. However, each time I walk past Sonar, he excitedly says "boobs" and stares at my.....chest area.

I try to avoid being around him, but it turns out he's a very mobile guy.

Please correct his behavior before I correct it for him. If it helps, please let him know that bat stew is a delicacy on my home planet.

Greetings Hero,

Sonar does have a history of inappropriate behavior around women, especially in...that regard.

We shall send some agents to speak with him and we can use the stew point as leverage if need be.

Sincerely,

Superhero Dispatch Network HR

#dear dispatch management #dispatch confessions #dispatch #dispatch sonar

Dear HR,

can we have a cocktail bar in the breakroom? we need it.

Dear Anonymous,

Drinking on the job is against company policy. Please drink in your off hours.

Sincerely,

Superhero Dispatch Network HR

P.S: We are not responsible for any additions to your coffee.

#dear dispatch management #dispatch confessions #dispatch

Dear HR,

Company morale has kind of tanked since the whole Shroud-pocalypse. Do you think maybe we could put on an event to try and raise spirits? I’m thinking maybe a pie baking contest. Whoever makes the best pie wins, I don’t know, more pie for their team? The whole branch could taste test the pies and vote. I think that if Shroud chose baking instead of violence, things would be much better around here. It’s a nice outlet, you know.

Think on it,

Mason (from Legal)

Dear Mason,

This is an excellent suggestion! Not only would this boost morale but it would also be an excellent team-building exercise, both between Dispatchers and their Heroes, and with everyone in the office.

I shall forward your suggestion to Blonde Blazer immediately.

Sincerely,

Superhero Dispatch Network HR

P.S: I'm a chocolate silk pie person myself

#dear dispatch management #dispatch confessions #dispatch #dispatch shroud

Dear HR team-

Robert’s fat little dog is adorable. Love the guy. But the thing is, I am allergic to dogs, and so is Liz from accounting. No clue if there’s more of us, but we’re sick of coming into work and then leaving with red eyes and runny noses. Can you take care of it? This feels like a workplace violation. Thanks,

A very sneezy dispatcher.

Greetings Sneezy Dispatcher,

We take health concerns very seriously here at SDN. So on receiving your report, we immediately spoke to Robert about removing the dog.

He is willing to keep the dog at home. Chase is not.

We here at HR are somewhat scared of Chase. Please discuss the matter personally with him. Perhaps he will listen to a larger group.

Sincerely,

Superhero Dispatch Network HR

#dear dispatch management #dispatch confessions #dispatch #dispatch beef #dispatch robert #dispatch chase

Dear HR,

one of the Z team members keeps using extreme vulgar language casually in the workplace. listen, i'm no prude but the man cusses like a sailor.

Is SDN going to do anything to protect professionalism in the office? Can't you train those criminals or something?

-Maisey (Dispatcher for team C22)

Dear Maisey,

We have received multiple complaints about the Z-Team's choice of terminology and indeed our own HR workers have experienced it first hand. We have spoken to them about their language in the workplace.

Unfortunately it seems to be ineffective.

However we are working with the Sacramento SDN Branch to produce a new course, "A Superhero's Guide to the Workplace Environment". It will cover inappropriate language.

Sincerely,

Superhero Dispatch Network HR

#dear dispatch management #dispatch confessions #dispatch #dispatch z team

Dear HR,

the sexual harassment in the workplace is absolutely insane. I personally do not want to romance either someone who's name rhymes with Dblonde Dblazer or SchInvisigal, I just want to do my JOB.

Is that so bad?

sincerely,

disgruntled dispatcher.

Dear Disgruntled Dispatcher,

Sexual harassment is something we take very seriously here at SDN. Attached to this email is a link to the SDN report form, where you can give a more detailed response about the sexual harassment so we may take action.

We appreciate your efforts to keep working under these circumstances.

Sincerely,

Superhero Dispatch Network HR

#dear dispatch management #dispatch confessions #dispatch #dispatch robert

HR-

Malevola threw her coffee mug at Robert in the break room. Except, it didn’t look exactly like coffee. It was definitely the color of blood. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not one to judge other people’s diets, but this one feels like a, uh, biohazard. Thanks,

Sharon (IT Department)

Greetings Sharon,

Here at SDN we have a wide variety of dietary habits and bodily needs of our Heroes and Dispatchers. This can cause challenges with food safety and handling.

To ensure the safety of all employees, we follow the International Superhero Food Safety Guidelines (SFSG), which can be found on page 327 of the SDN handbook or on the Superhero Food Safety website.

Malevola's blood-coffee is a violation of code 7a of SFSG: "Potentially biohazardous food articles must be contained in sealed containers to prevent cross contamination". Hence Malevola should not be using a regular coffee cup.

As for her throwing the mug at Robert...Z-Team has been known for multiple violations of such things.

Sincerely,

Superhero Dispatch Network HR

#dear dispatch management #dispatch confessions #dispatch #malevola #dispatch robert

Trending Blogs

Recently Viewed Blogs

Anonymous Dispatch Emails