An Assortment Of Words

Writing poems for Tumblr's eyes only You can call me Jude he/they:)

[anonymousalphabetsoop]

I've Decided

I've decided to be stranger

To be more peculiar

I've decided to buy the vest I once thought all my friends would hate

To wear the colors you aren't supposed to wear together

I've decided to will cry more

To be more emotional

I've decided to openly shed a tear over Beth March at her piano

And the fact that it does get better if you let it

I've decided to be louder

To be more passionate

I've decided the next time you tell me I am being too much I will scream

I will let you know just how loud I can be

I've decided to be stranger

I've decided to be more

[poemsonmars]

you told me that daisies

are your favorite flower

and i had to fight the urge

to plant a bouquet

of them in my lungs.

i want to cough up

petals and stems

when you smile at me.

i want to be so full of

your favorite things

that i forget how to breathe.

-mars

[thefirstlivingart]

all this love i have refuses to die inside of me

pinterest / vonko magno on flickr / troye sivan, one of your girls / virginia woolf, a letter to vanessa bell, august 1908 / @hannahlockillustration on tumblr / sara luisa kirk, begin here / fyodor dostoevsky, a letter to anna gregorevna dostoevsky, may 1880 / archbudzar on instagram / jeanette winterson, lighthousekeeping (transcript under the cut) / caitlyn siehl / @wormbus-art on tumblr / jonathan safran foer, extremely loud and incredibly close / lidia yuknavitch, the chronology of water: a memoir / sleepy.corvid on instagram / @froody on tumblr / @borderlinejackiee on tumblr / always together 2, frrrankkky_art on instagram / andsome4747 on tiktok / arthur miller, the crucible / cheryl strayed, tiny beautiful things: advice on love and life from dear sugar

[anonymousalphabetsoop]

"Tomatoes"

I hope you never forget

How much I love you

I hope I spend everyday

Reminding you

But if you do forget, I hope you know

I'd pick the tomatoes out of your food

If you thought it might explode

I'd open your soda for you

I'd let it drip down my arms

To save you from the mess

I'd box up your food

I'd take your olives

I'd trade you sausage for pepper

I'd bring you breakfast in bed

When you felt like you couldn't get out

And though I may forget to clean

I'd cook dinner for you

I'll tell you a thousand times

How much I love you

But if that's not enough

I'd pick the tomatoes out of your food

-JST

[anonymousalphabetsoop]

Changed

I wondered how someone could bear

To be touched as much as I am

I thought I could never stand

To feel another

Set of limbs in mine

Now I crave you

When you're not here

My fingers are lonely

Without twisting themselves

With yours

I never knew how one could sleep

With someone else in their bed

I hated when my own thighs touched

And I couldn't imagine the feeling

Of someone elses sweat

Now I lie awake

Wishing you were there

I know I'd sleep better

With you in my arms

I know I'd be warmer

In yours

I used to cover up mirrors

So I didn't have to look at myself

The body I saw was foreign distant

And I never felt

At home in it

Now I walk by

And I touch my cheek

With the same gentleness that you do

Knowing that hand too

Is loved

-JST

[anonymousalphabetsoop]

Bodies

Sometimes I feel like you're too good for me

Correction

Sometimes

I feel like you're body is too good for mine

Sometimes when I stare at our thighs

And I see that mine is double yours

I wonder if you notice the same thing

Sometimes

I feel like you're body is too good for mine

Your arm is like a marble statue

And mine is like unbaked clay

And I wonder how you could like it the way I like yours

Sometimes

I wonder if you'll love me if I can never "fix it"

But mostly

I feel like your body is too good for mine

In the way that we both know it is better

We both knows that your legs hold you up

In a way that mine don't

Sometimes

I wonder if you'll love me if I cannot go up the stairs

If my arms are too tired

If I cannot dress myself

Sometimes

I feel like your body is too good for mine

-JST

[anonymousalphabetsoop]

Dreams of Childhood Friends

If I dreamt of you

I'd tell you the next day

I know it would be weird but

I think I'd want to same?

If I appeared in your surrealist fantasy

I think I'd want to know

If I dreamt of you

I'd take it as a sign

By the universe or by the mind

To tell you I miss you

But dreams are funny that way,

Aren't they?

Because I've dreamt of a million faces

Ones I didn't want to see

But never of yours

So maybe it's a sign

Not to reach out

Or maybe I will anyway?

Maybe I don't need my unconscious self

To tell me that I miss those days?

-JST

[anonymousalphabetsoop]

I Go To Bed

I go to bed every night

Wishing

My head was on your chest

Wishing your heartbeat would become my white noise

Wishing you were toying with my hair as you dozed off

I go to bed every night

Wishing

You were behind me

Wishing I was pushing my bare back further into your bare chest

Wishing your arms were wrapped around me

I go to bed every night

Wishing

I was facing you

Wishing your hand was pressing mine into your heart

Wishing our foreheads were touching like a painting or a prayer

I go to bed every night

Knowing

I'd sleep better

Knowing I would sleep better with you between my arms

I go to bed every night

Knowing

That you love me

Wishing I had your body here to prove it

-JST

[anonymousalphabetsoop]

Love Is Not Water

I used to think love was like water

When it was 100 degrees

And I was hot

I wanted love to be like water

When I found an ocean

In a smile

I wanted to hold my breath and dive

And I wanted love to be like water

When I could see the light

From above

I wanted to swim deeper down

I wanted to hold my breath and dive

And I wanted love to be like water

I could see their arms

Awaiting me

I wanted the tide to sweep me away

I wanted to swim deeper down

I wanted to hold my breath and dive

And I wanted love to be like water

While I could still feel something

In my lungs

I wanted to burn all my air

I wanted the tide to sweep me away

I wanted to swim deeper down

I wanted to hold my breath and dive

And I wanted love to be like water

I wanted them to hold me down

Until the bubbles stopped

I wanted the waves to wash me over

I wanted to burn all my air

I wanted the tide to sweep me away

I wanted to swim deeper down

I wanted to hold my breath and dive

And I wanted love to be like water

The thing with loving like water is

You are going to drown

I wanted them to drown me

I wanted the waves to wash me over

I wanted to burn all my air

I wanted the tide to sweep me away

I wanted to swim deeper down

I wanted to hold my breath and dive

And I wanted love to be like water

The thing with loving like water is

You will crave oxygen

I wanted to crave them like oxygen

I wanted them to drown me

I wanted the waves to wash me over

I wanted to burn all my air

I wanted the tide to sweep me away

I wanted to swim deeper down

I wanted to hold my breath and dive

And I wanted love to be like water

The thing about loving like water is

You're going to reamerge

I wanted to keep myself down

I wanted to crave them like oxygen

I wanted them to drown me

I wanted the waves to wash me over

I wanted to burn all my air

I wanted the tide to sweep me away

I wanted to swim deeper down

I wanted to hold my breath and dive

And I wanted love to be like water

The thing about reamerging is

You're going to breathe again

I wanted to sink again

I wanted to keep myself down

I wanted to crave them like oxygen

I wanted them to drown me

I wanted the waves to wash me over

I wanted to burn all my air

I wanted the tide to sweep me away

I wanted to swim deeper down

I wanted to hold my breath and dive

And I wanted love to be like water

The thing about breathing again is

You'll know what love is in that moment

I wanted to forget again

I wanted to sink again

I wanted to keep myself down

I wanted to crave them like oxygen

I wanted them to drown me

I wanted the waves to wash me over

I wanted to burn all my air

I wanted the tide to sweep me away

I wanted to swim deeper down

I wanted to hold my breath and dive

And I wanted love to be like water

The thing about knowing what love is

You'll know it's nothing like water

I wanted love to be like water

I wanted love to be like water

I wanted love to be like water

I wanted to forget again

I wanted to sink again

I wanted to keep myself down

I wanted to crave them like oxygen

I wanted them to drown me

I wanted the waves to wash me over

I wanted to burn all my air

I wanted the tide to sweep me away

I wanted to swim deeper down

I wanted to hold my breath and dive

And I wanted love to be like water

I have learned a few things since then

I have learned what love is

I have learned that love

Should never feel like drowning

I have learned that love

Is not water

It's air

-JST

[anonymousalphabetsoop]

⚠️TW: GORE AND MAYBE BODY HORROR???⚠️

"Autopsy"

I long to slice the skin off my skull

Pull it back

Saw through the bone

Pull my brain out of it's cage and place it on the table

Snap my latex gloves on my wrists and disect

Shine a light to all of it's lobes and cortexes and folds

Trace the lines till they lead me to what I'm trying to find

I will rip my mind up with my bare hands if I must

To find it

I long to take a scalpel to my abdomen from my chest to the bottom of my belly

Take out my guts and my organs

Rummage through them like trash

Untangle my intestines like yarn

Follow the trail till I find it

That feeling

I long to hold my heart in my hand and hear it beat

Listen to it's messages like morse code

Waiting for it to tell me what it means

To shove my hands under my ribs and feel my lungs expand

Maybe then I'll find it

I would search from palm to sole

Maybe it's hidden in a corner or a curve

Maybe in my brain or my body there is a soul waiting to tell me

To analyze me

Maybe it's keeping me like a diary

Maybe I'll discover something through this autopsy

-JST

[geryone]

Have You Been Long Enough At Table, Leslie Sainz

[anonymousalphabetsoop]

"Your Sheets"

I want to get into your sheets

I want to sleep with you

I want to wake up in your bed

I want to doze off beside you

Come back into the waking realm in your house

I want to cook you breakfast

I want to take off my clothes in front of you

I would let you watch me get dressed

I wouldn't bat an eye when you did the same

I want to get ready with you

I'll brush my teeth while you wash your face and you'll do your hair while I put on my jewelry

We'll eat lunch at out dining room table

We'll eat dinner at your favorite restaurant

And we'll come home

You'll brush your teeth while I wash my face and I'll take off my jewelry while you take off your clothes

You'll take off your clothes in front of me and you won't bat an eye when I do the same

And after

I want to crawl into bed with you

I want to get into your sheets

-JST

[anonymousalphabetsoop]

"I Love You More"

I love you

I love you more

That's not possible

I love you more than words can say

I love you more than you'll ever know

I love you more than there are grains

of sand in the universe

I love you more than there are atoms

I love you more than anything

I love you more than I knew was possible to love another being

I want to peel back my skin for you

If you did I would crawl inside

I want to lie here, in your arms,

till I've rotten

I wouldn't let you, because I love you

Thank you

For what?

Not letting me rot

And for loving me

I love you

I love you more

-JST

[ahurumustdie]

I love her, that girl from my childhood. She held my hand until I was ready to find myself She handed me the shovel. I grieve her sometimes, i am allowed to. It still hurts to be spoken to as if I am her. She is dead, and she is not me, but I love her for making room.  Her name is one i cradle like an injured bird Until I am ready to breathe life into it again Watch it fly away for the winter It will not fly back for the summer Instead i will give her my name, Like she gave me her bones to live in. I love her, that girl from my childhood, For walking so the boy in her shoes can run.

TRANSMASCULINE || t.a.

[anonymousalphabetsoop]

Articulating all the thoughts !! The thoughts bro !!

[anonymousalphabetsoop]

"No One Tells You What to Do"

Everyone says

Your first kiss will be awful

No one tells you what to do

When it's not

No one tells you what to do

When your best friend kisses you

No one tells you what to do

When you let him

No one tells you what to do

When you know what his tongue feels like

No one tells you what to do

When you've tasted his saliva

When he's lingered on your lips

Like hard candy

No one tells you what to do

When you've felt his weight on top of you

When he's made your heart race

When his hands have traced you over

No one tells you what to do

When you can recite him from memory

When you know all his moles and freckles

When he's made you shake

No one tells you who to tell

So you keep him like a secret

Or an inside joke

A world that no one else knows

No one tells you what to do

When your best friend kisses you

No one tells you what to do

When you let him

-JST

[sun9usher]

You could break my heart

That’s how I know

I love you

You love me

You know

I can break your heart

[anonymousalphabetsoop]

Beautiful<3

[anonymousalphabetsoop]

"It Always Comes Back"

It reaches out

Like an old friend

Expecting an embrace

You can deny, run, escape

You know if you accept

You will feel your bones break

In it's grasp

The thing is

It always comes back

It smiles at you

It makes you feel safe

You'll find yourself

Finally, finally, okay

It cares for you like a mother

Holds you like a lover

And leaves you in a flash

The thing is

It always comes back

You can crumple it up

And throw it away

Bury it in the back yard

In the dirt and the snakes

Fold it small as you can

And carry it with you

Push it to the bottom of your pack

The thing is

It always comes back

It comes for you

Touches you

With cold, familiar fingertips

It fades like a shadow

In the pitch black

The thing is

It always comes back