AnonymouslyE

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[anonymouslye]

#linesCrossed

[anonymouslye]

#obsessions #dark #dangerous

[fuckyeahrihanna]

[anonymouslye]

mes sentiments exactement

[anonymouslye]

A Man's Hands

A Man's Hands There's many things that make a man sexy to me. One of which is a man with big hands. Yes, girl, big hands. I was blessed with a combination of my mother's and father's hands, leaving me with what I believe are large hands for a woman. So, when I slide my fingers into the palm larger than mine, it does something to me. They dont have to be soft. In fact, I will caress any callouss I find with a little extra intensity. When he closes his hand on mine, his fingers naturally push mine far apart. My fingers seem small and slim, feminine. It makes me feel a little more sexy. Him and his big hands, being so sexy. Such a simple thing, stirs such excitement in me. But he takes me further when he grabs my wrists and holds them for just a second. He holds me tight enough and long enough to remind me who is in charge…. or who THINKS he is in charge ;) When he grabs my shoulders and squeezes just a bit, he relieves some tension. Is it his grasp or his scent? At this point, I don't care. It doesn't matter. I'm focused on his hands. They're intense. When he massages my back, down my spine, my muscles want to surrender. His hands. They're strong. They feel massive on the small of my back. He grabs my hips. There needs to be no body attached to the hands on me now. I'm engulfed in the fantasy of two floating ghostly hands, scaring my common sense, haunting my skin, raising the hair on my neck, making my muscles reach up and out. Two large hands here to do my bidding. To sense my desires and go to the places that will make my eyelids fall……...

[anonymouslye]

Uncontrollable Selfishness

Dear Muse, Sometimes.. you cannot help the  way someone touches your life.. Sometimes even with your moral compass in hand, you knowingly stray from the path of whats right to walk the deliciously wrong path of disappointment..  Sometimes even when you know what will follow  you choose the instant gratification of a forbidden  fruit that you know will sour your belly.. Too many times I've found myself ill from that very fruit... and even now I find myself craving it......  #selfishness

[anonymouslye]

Hello Stranger!

A message came thru with an invite to "hang out" but its source was unknown. Completely oblivious to the area code, I re-read the message to try to identify its author. Hmmm... NY lingo... Wait! What!?! I immediately called the number to confirm my suspicions. And sure enough… :) #bigSmiles!! The familiarity of his voice sent chills down my back as I’d been anticipating this reconnection. I gave quick farewells and hurried to my car. I’d chalked up my original plans and headed towards the Four Seasons.  Of course the initial meeting was cordial and tame. I sat back, sipped on some Patron and participated in general convo with the rest of the guests while I conjured up in my mind what would take place when we were alone! I was excited but had to remain composed… cool and collected. While he went off to fulfill a few business obligations, I remained behind to prepare. Alone in the luxurious suite, I made myself at home. I ran a steaming hot bath to soften everything up, smoothed on some shae butter and slipped into the skimpiest number I had in the suitcase. Just as I’d finished bringing sexy back… and consequently turning MYSELF on, it was time. He appeared in the doorway and smiled down at me. Stimulating my emotions.. my nerves.. all my senses. There were no words to be spoken. There was no catching up necessary. At least not for now. Only eye contact and shallow breaths led up to our skin making contact. What I lacked in physical aggression, I made up with a seemingly powerful spell he was under as he looked at me.  The silence was broken only barely with commands and instructions… and an occasional involuntary moan of pleasure. So much time had passed and my body struggled to receive everything he threw at me. .. His touch electrified me, making the sensation of our energy almost overbearing. Had I forgotten the power he’d once had over me? Clearly I was denying the power he still had over me. Everything seemed almost new but oh so familiar. No longer concerned with his satisfaction, I began to selfishly absorb his energy.. pulling from him a portion of his strength.. his power! I’d need it later….. I felt as though my body was glowing… surely it was pulsing with energy that collided in our chemistry. What took place….                 What I thought was known to me….                                 What I thought was permanently dormant…                                                 Has been revived, redefined, refined!                 A visual stimulation!                                 A mental vibration!                                                 A physical conversation!                                                                 A spiritual confirmation!                                                                                 I give him…                                                                                                 A standing ovation!                                                                                                 Encore! Encore!

[anonymouslye]

Everythings Gonna Be Alright....

I passed an elderly woman this morning. Forcing a smile and trying to display an expression of respect, I said good morning and opened the door for her. Usually I'm moving rather quickly through the store because I deplore grocery shopping.... But my energy level was a bit deficient and my spirits were low. After the woman cleared the entryway, I paused for a moment and proceeded to wander around aimlessly around the store.

After about fifteen minutes of roaming, my cart was still empty and a blank stare had taken up residency on my face. I felt no energy from anything around me. But still, in an effort to be the strong black woman everyone expects me to be..... I pushed the cart foward after checking my watch. I still don't remember what time it was then......

I stood in the middle of the isle pressing into my temples trying to remember why I'd come to the store. I suddently jumped when I felt a warm hand on my shoulder. It was the old woman I'd held the door for. She was very small and thin but there was a warm powerful surge of energy coming from her touch. "You gone be alright, chile."

I never lifted my head, trying to conceal my grief..... I never thanked the woman or acknowledged her message.... I can't even remember what she looked like. I left the empty cart sitting in the middle of the isle and walked back home. I immediately layed on the sofa and went back to sleep.

Nothing else eventful happened.... so I thought. But I woke up again this morning and the sadness I'd felt earlier was gone. The worry had subsided. My mind began to function properly again.

Know that God is good! Just as my heart bled for my child yesterday.... God's grace and mercy will never fail us.

Have a great day! Be blessed! Be a blessing to someone else. Smile and know that you are loved! and remember..... ."You gone be alright, chile."

~e!

[anonymouslye]

Going Home

I will no longer let my pride or fear tell me its wrong to love someone (man or woman).

I accept the fact that sometimes you can't help who you love..... I also accept that sometimes who you love can't accept the person you are...

I know now that just because you love someone doesn't mean you need them to love you back.... and it doesn't always mean they should remain in your life.

People are put in your life for a reason, season or lifetime. I'm learning to let go of resentment and disdain for those who have disappointed the Erin of days passed.......

I am learning to love people for who they are to ME and not who I am to THEM......

"Love is life and life is living!" ..... I'm on my way home!

"Home is a place we all must find, child. It's not just a place where you eat or sleep. Home is knowing. Knowing your mind, knowing your heart, knowing your courage. If we know ourselves, we're always home, anywhere." a quote from The Wiz

[anonymouslye]

Highly Addictive

Like a victim of a violent crash I lay here battered and bruised. Although I have no broken bones, no pierced skin I bleed profusely from the wounds inflicted by past loves, scars incurred by risks taken in hopes of something true, real. And just as a narcotic is prescribed for pain unmoved by any over the counter drug, I medicate myself with your potent touch. Ignorant of its contents and why it so easily masks my pain I partake of it selfishly, greedily. High with lust and gratification my true senses become numb. I must deal with my pain. I must move the muscle that has become stiff with resistance and fear. But instead I medicate myself with your touch. My rationale and common sense has an intervention with my senses. Pleading with me to realize that this pain reliever was not intended for my long term use. But I do not listen, instead I medicate myself with your touch completely ignoring your warning label: Caution: Highly addictive!

[anonymouslye]

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE INANIMATE OBJECT?

My computer.

[anonymouslye]

A Journey Into Submission

I would never admit this... not even to him... although I'm almost certain he knew... by the way my body began to shake... the way my speech was almost non-existent... the way tears streamed across the bridge of my nose saturating the pillow. He knew alright.

He knew he had me. He knew he'd broken me down to submission, by the simple whisper of "yes... i promise" that I let escape from my lips. For now I was compliant. There was not a hint of defiance. I did not resist. I meekly accepted my 'punishment' wishing it to be over... hoping it would never end.

I could no longer fight. All I could do was curse... and bless the actions that brought me to this moment.

I lay be beneath him in a state I've never been in all my thirty-something years. I was too smart for this. I was too 'seasoned.' I knew the game... so I thought. But never have I had someone fuck my mind like that... have me so completely sane...so aware that my so-called transgressions were somewhat justified.... yet becoming utterly bewildered... tamed... controlled... taken captive.

Several hours before this, I'd been sitting in frustration; sending him words filled with emotion. The alcohol didn’t help. It only added anger to the messages of perceived neglect I was trying to relay. I'd fallen asleep alone, and subsequently: angry. When I'd awaken, his response to my ranting further dampened my mood. His message was clear. He'd finally tired of my tantrums and would, under no circumstances deal with it any longer. His intolerant tone only made me more upset. I replied only acknowledging the receipt of his message.

Hours later when he knew I'd be free of distraction and obligation, he sent a message. "Come and get your punishment." I laughed at his cockiness and simply replied, "No." Still I was relieved by his summons. I knew he still wanted me.... but I also knew, by the simplicity of his message, this would come at a price.

When I arrived, it was business as usual. A hearty hug and kiss upon my entrance. Cheerful greetings and embraces from loved ones. Cold champagne and engaging conversation over the aroma of my simmering pots and pans. We ate. We drank. We smoked. We were merry.

 I'd forgotten about everything. Showered before slipping into bed. So unaware that I was to be reckoned with...................

[anonymouslye]

A Fantasy

Yes, every woman has a fantasy. Although I know I'm not ready for it, I fantasize about being his woman..... I have an image in my mind of loving him...trusting him. In my own world....my literary secrets.... I've let all guards down and loved him...every inch of him...given of myself freely and accepted him without apprehension. In my own world....where I mixed the experiences of what is real with what I crave for behind closed doors. Where I exposed every and any truth about my being without ridicule or judgment.... In my own world....where words hurt no one and all pleasures are [un]selfishly satisfied....where eyelids get heavy with thoughts of tender touches, sweet caresses, succulent kisses and tantalizing scents.... In my own world....where we walk in the park at our leisure, embracing, talking, touching each other's body, soul, heart, mind..... But real life is once again on the horizon. The sun lifts itself from out of the warmth and security of the night's darkness while doubt, insecurities, fears, facts materialize forcing me to accept this is just a fantasy..... Still.....(as always)....I cannot get him out of my mind....

~AnonymouslyE

[anonymouslye]

Terribly Wounded

I am struggling to push back the emotion. I am outside my comfort zone of indifference.

I am uneasy with feeling and expectation. I cannot operate in this condition.

My steps are apprehensive and unsteady. My responses are defensive and guarded.

Love is not an undesired destination but the journey is not one that I find myself prepared to take.

I have not yet learned to travel light for I must be adorned with the heavy overbearing armor that I've grown to find comfort in. Yet it impairs my agility and punishes attempts of tenderness.

In the distance I can smell the sweetness of love’s possibility yet when I open my mouth to taste it I am suffocated as though in the midst of an unsympathetic sand storm blinded by confusion, immobilized by uncertainty, terribly wounded.

Even as the sand settles, I still do not find relief. The sun bears down on me cruelly with a delusion of an oasis that will quench my thirst and relieve my anguish but only dissipates leaving behind an echo of condescending laughter.

~AnonymouslyE

[anonymouslye]

Its all relative! ~AnonymouslyE!