"I don't care if someone understands my depth anymore and call it posessiveness. When I love, I love so deeply that it can keep you confused, because of my depth. I am deep, and maybe someday someone will accept me for the way I am. I have such experiences at the age of 30 that even people in their 50's doesnt. I have lived on the both sides. On the streets and on where I belong. That brings my deepness on the table. Bruises from the past, my darkness, my understanding of the world, everything. Its rare so I don't even look for anyone, because when I approach I get ignored, why? I don't have any idea, accept me for who I am or I am happy anyways. I fight my part of sadness, but its personal and I don't burden people with it. I have been broken and damaged by the people I loved with all I had and again and again I have been made feel that nothing comes from me is valuable or worthy. But I know how much honesty and devotion I bring on the table when I'm in love. Sure I need a partner, sure I feel unheard but I won't fixate on it, if people want to ignore they are free to do so. I still believe good is there in the trenches of coiled lies, deceit and dumping people like garbage because they are insecure to be honest and vulnerable. Everyone is faking around, no one is courageous enough to put themselves out there for who they are and approach in that way so you don't have to dunp people with thousands of questions and they not caring at all. I exactly feel how the echo chamber of your heart is filled with questions, when you deserve all the answers, but you have to carry that burden maybe for months or years. People don't care, they will break you and victimize themselves, this is how humanity has transformed. Honesty is a basic trait and no one understands, everyone just lies and puts on a show while you see through them. Still in all of these, I feel some good exists and someone good will hold me one day, and break me down because I am stiff for a very long time. That one precious person is not easy to get in the horde of showmakers. Its obvious it can take years to recover from a deceit that happened through someone you trusted with your life and then thye moveon with their lives, see other people, have sex here and there and don't even fucking cared what they left behind. They feel no accountability and I don't see a point. If ONE person can't make you feel happy or content, no matter how many people you fuck, you won't achieve that happiness. Its as simple as that. As a personal example: I bought a Hublot bing bang back in 2022. I was on cloud nine, I bought it on an auction and I tell you guys honestly, I wore it 5 times and I don't feel the same anymore. I don't even wear it anymore. I lust on Rolex's but I know the feeling of owning a luxury watch, and that won't make me happy anymore because my hublot is enough. This is how the world should work. We're so doomed as a generation idk what else to share."
-Me.
For credibility purposes, my Big Bang Rf No: 301RX Limited Edition a watch worth of $5000 (₹399,784.50) back in 2022. Does it makes me happy? Ofcourse Yes. But do I need another one? Maybe if I am collecting but not because I have to become a showman. Difference in wants and needs.
