“What would you do in my situation then?”
“Do I look like a fairy godmother to you?”
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The Stonewall Inn
EXPECTATIONS
$LAYYYTER
todays bird
Claire Keane
occasionally subtle

oozey mess

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YOU ARE THE REASON
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Noah Kahan

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hello vonnie

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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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★
Doug Jones
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@anthonyblackwell
“What would you do in my situation then?”
“Do I look like a fairy godmother to you?”
“You’re no fun,” she pouted, “You sound just like me.”
“Can’t say I see anything wrong with being boring.”
“If you’d cared to notice, I was already here before you’d arrived. I was trying to practice. It is a public space, after all. I did try to ignore you, if it’s any consolation.”
“You’re clearly not trying to practice now, why stay then? Were you expecting to hear something interesting?”
“Just me? Ah, it really is a shame then, isn’t it? Must be something about me. Too much greatness in one person just can’t go unnoticed, you know? Guess I need to be snuffed out,” Abbey mused.”So many things I wish I’d gotten to do. Like eat that packet of M&Ms I was saving. Ugh. So much good life wasted.”
“Is this the part when I should feel sorry for you? Because I don’t.”
“Honestly, what’s got you so hung up on the possibility that I could be weak? Are you one of those assholes who thinks women and men can’t be equal?”
“My sister would have my head if I said so. I saw you in action, that’s the reason itself.”
“Great idea– want to learn how to make origami cranes?”
“Me? Definitely not. Try with some Demeter kids.”
“I am trying, but apparently that’s not enough.”
“Maybe you’re not giving your best then.”
“That I’m stronger than you think I am.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure about that.”
“I’ve been cooped up in my cabin making these dumb paper cranes all morning. Please put me out of my misery and cure my boredom somehow.”
“You can always go and teach someone make those kind of things.”
“I’m sorry, I wasn’t meaning to eavesdrop.”
“Then you were hanging around here just by mistake? For twenty minutes?”
“I don’t know. It was probably terrible monster here to kill us all,” Abbey said with a dramatic sigh. “What a shame, I was planning a movie marathon tomorrow.”
“Indeed, such a shame that it will attack only you.”
“I don’t know.”
“That’s not an answer that will keep you alive for long.”
“Unless you’re categorising yourself as a boring person, I see no one like that here.”
“Fascinating theory.”
“If the person you’re talking to is boring, yes. I don’t think we’re going to have such problem.”
“Bold assumption. Do elaborate.”
“And very easy to understand.”
“Lack of proper challenge may lead to boredom.”
“Now who do we have here? Heard you weren’t yourself yesterday.”
“That’s a vague observation.”
“I’m done being a demigod.”
“So what are you doing here?”