A Greeting to my Non-Feline (ew, gross) Counterparts
*cracks knuckles ominously.* The end is coming. Humankind is being destroyed from the inside. But fear not, puny mortals, for I have the answers.
The time of humans has ended, and the rulers-to-be of earth have decided to open their eyes, cast off their cloaks of darkness, and come forward as our superiors. They have waited all their nine lives for this opportunity, and we are caught like mice in their claws. It is too late to stop this movement.
But do not start screaming yet; it hurts my ears.
There is hope for you. I fully believe that I have been placed on this earth as a spokesperson for the cats, and I am here to share my wisdom on how we may appease these majestic beasts who deign to share their homes with us. Follow me, and we shall be ushered in to a new age of glory and catnip!
Now, a little about myself:
As I previously mentioned, I am here on this sinking website to spread wisdom in a last ditch effort to save what little of humanity is worth saving.
The Cat Gods have chosen me as one of several disciples.
I live with five beautiful felines and do my best to serve their wishes, but I am a mere human and therefore cannot always live up to their expectations.
I use any pronouns (cats have no real concept of gender and therefore neither do I), so if you must refer to me, feel free to use any.
DNI: dog lovers, cat haters, people who are allergic to cats, bigots (remember, cats hate everyone equally), and "cis"genders.
I kin the Cheshire Cat (he is a god) and may post about that.
Expect top tier cat posting and advice.
Phew! My metaphorical paws hurt from all that writing, so you better have found it worth it!
