Apocalyp[s]ense

Some sentences and more There is not much left- but what has been, created.

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The colourful streets of Tanger, Morocco

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Hello

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Yosemite national park

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Valley of Fire, Nevada

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Valley of Fire, Nevada

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Valley of Fire state park, Nevada

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Long exposure experiment,  Praça do Comércio.

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Obviously very glad I stayed up for this... Super blood moon, Rotterdam, 29/09/2015, 4.40 AM.

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Autumn in Helsinki, 2011

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Reflections in Prague

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Today I mentioned to my physiotherapist that coming weekend marks my 2 year knee injury anniversary. To his disappointment, I had not thought about bringing cake.  “Do you miss it?” he asked. I was 10 when I started playing basketball and it didn’t take long before I fell in love with the game. Comparing it to a relationship might seem strange to someone who doesn’t like sports, but it makes sense to me. I once told a friend I loved her more than I loved basketball. She still proudly brings it up sometimes.

I wasn’t particularly talented but that never held me back from giving it my everything. Basketball was my most loyal friend, my drug, my therapy. There was nothing a good game couldn’t fix. And it fixed me up many, many times.  The breakup came suddenly. It wasn’t pretty - literally. My kneecap was in a place it shouldn’t be and I immediately knew it was final. The realisation came later than that, like ending a relationship and clinging on to the hope you might get back together.  In a way I’ve gone through the classic 5 stages of grief, although not necessarily in the right order. I remained only briefly in denial, lingered a lot on anger and revisited that phase a couple of times. I bargained, too. I coached for a year, trying to make the relationship work, but the effort wasn’t mutual. I’m currently going back and forth between depression and acceptance. I still refuse to believe that anything can make me feel the same, but I do feel I’m gradually moving on. “Of course I do”, I replied. We continued with some running exercises. I still can’t run properly or without pain, and my progress is slow. I stopped. “It hurts,” I explained.  “Where do you feel pain?” I pointed to the inside of my knee. “Here.”   And here too, I thought, while imagining pointing at my heart dramatically.  My physiotherapist told me I would probably experience less pain if I replaced my old basketball shoes with some real running shoes. So I bought running shoes today. How’s that for acceptance?

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The Psychedelic Furs - House

On this day, 25 years ago, this song was a big hit in the alternative rock scene.

The first words of the song are: "This day is not my life"

A good start to a life full of irony, because the day this song was popular happens to be the day of my birth. 

Happy birthday to me!

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As I am writing this I find myself sitting at Wayne’s Coffee in Kamppi, surrounded by no less than 6 bags. The waitress eyed me suspiciously, drunk hobo alert, until one of those bags actually contained a laptop. I can’t really blame her though, I do look wasted, although alcohol is not the cause...

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On this day, 3 years ago, I left Helsinki.