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EXPECTATIONS
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Nirvana
Rolling Advert
Nirvana, New York, April 25, 1990
Today in Music - April 26th, 1990
Nirvana plays the Pyramid Club in New York City
Cobain: Montage Of Heck
I just walked out of the theatre speechless. Walked to my car and started crying. It took a long while to control myself and calm down.
No other documentary, movie or anything has ever made me feel like this; sad and happy and empty all at the same time.
Montage of Heck was incredible to say the least. It was brutally honest view of Kurt through his thoughts and the eyes of the people who cared about him the most. It was beautiful and tragic. It was inspiring, just like Kurt was and still is to many, including me.
It will take a long time to process everything I was fortunate enough to see.
Sorry for this long post.
I met a girl at a party I went too. I'm a very antisocial person so it took alot of strenght and bravery out of me to come to that party. I talked to no one except the two people I came with so I decided I had to talk to someone. I started drinking and whoops I was all over the place, talking to everyone, it was like magic. Then I met this girl, she had the exact same interests as me, she was gorgeous and simply beautiful, she was perfect. We talked alot with eachother and she decided to ask the question "do you wanna make out?" with the cutest voice ever. I was frozen for like 2 seconds and then I was like "uuh.. Sure" as awkward I am. We made out and my friends was looking at us and they were like "oh god..", I was pretty drunk so I didn't care what people thought, I was just standing there, holding her waist and making out with the most beautiful person on the party. Later that night she asked my friend (who was hosting the party at her house) if she could sleep with me, my friend said like "yeah whatever" and then my friend told me that the girl wanted to have sex with me. I was totally wasted then and not even horny so I was like "uh yeah, good to know, i'm not horny tho" and then the night continued on. Even later she came into the kitchen, where I was, and she sat down at the countertable and asked me to come over to her so I did. We made out with each other again and then she took my hand and dragged me up to the bedroom where she fell down on the bed, dragging me along so I was ontop of her, we made out with eachother more and then my friend came into the room and said that she was gonna sleep there and that we can't do anything in there, so we went into the big closet next door and layed down on the floor, we were touching eachother and she took off my hoodie and then all of the sudden we were both naked and then when we were just going to get started having sex the door opened and like 5 people were staring in, very rudely and immature, the light was off but they turned it on and told us to get dressed because we apparently couldn't have sex in there. I got cockblocked just when I was about to have sex with the most beautiful human I have ever fucking met. She got offturned and so did I and she whispered into my ear "we can do it later, when everyone's asleep", but it never happened. I am not mad though, i am mad at that the girl in my dreams was probably not even interested in me and does probably not want anything to do with me, but I am not giving up just because I think she doesn't want me, I'm going to try asking her out of a coffee date or something, if she says no, fine, atleast I tried. Well, that's all for me, if you want me to be updating on this story with the girl then I'm gonna do that, sorry if this was a kind of long post but I just had to share it with you. Bye.
Serial Killer Richard Ramirez yawns in court.
Faces of school shooters
I fucking hate this shit. when am I avaible to get people, I can't understand a thing about them, humans are so confusing. how am I supposed to get into a relationship if I am unable to know if a person likes me or not? i like this girl, but she's a hard-to-get woman, she is almost exactly like me and even though we've only known eachother for like a month we both feel that we've known eachother for 10 years. she accepts me and my condition completely and thinks it's good to be special like me. she is a very special human. then there is this other girl who i've known for some years and i've liked her for a while now too, but we have been together before and I don't think she likes me that way. I don't have feelings for any of these girls but I feel that I like them, alot, they are really special and perfect for me, but I'm not able to get neither of them. it pisses me off and it makes me feel like I want to give up and just grab anyone to be my partner. I am desperate for a relationship and the two only girls I like is probably not interested. atleast I'm going to the movies with one of them tomorrow and then she's gonna come over to my house and we're gonna play games and so on. but I don't think something's gonna happen, she's like playing Halo on the hardest difficulty, you've gotta be a pro to go with that difficulty, and I'm really not a pro, I'm a fucking noob compaired to the other people. good night every fucking one, bye.