something to believe in..

Nuri Boutros

[peacefulapostlearchive]

@apostleled​  || BIRTHDAY DRABBLE 

its as easy as breathing air  … 

   the way he lets the younger teen lay against him while stowing away on the roof  .  nothing but time until the sun comes up knowing that they won’t be checked on until the next day when its time for school  .  this is all he needs  ,  the need to feel safe and warm while providing the same comfort for the best friend that he has  . if they didn’t want them on the roof then they really shouldn’t make it so easy  , but it is and here they are watching the stars as they often do  . the tricky part is trying NOT to succumb to sleep knowing if they do then they’ll surely be caught  . not that they care much  ,  the time together is always worth the punishment  . they know if they do the crime they’ll do the time but finding it in them to care simply does not strike them under the gorgeous night and stars  .  

            its as easy as breathing air … 

how they embrace upon reuniting years and years after being apart .  the are completely different people now  .  not boys anymore ,  but both MEN who have seen the darker sides of the human race  .  both relating and despite not knowing each other anymore its as if they never left the other’s side  . deep down they know the heart of the other and how it calls to them now  ,  pulling at the edges toward a companion that they’ve known all along  .  ❝  you’ve grown so much … ❞ paul states as if he didn’t know it would happen  .  the silly statement is one nuri laughs at against the shell of paul’s ear ,  neither one appearing to lighten the embrace anytime soon  . ❝  growth spurts are like that .  ❞ they both laugh and remain tied together by a bond they thought had fizzled out but realize that is stronger than they could have ever hoped for  .  the apostle has his disciple and they shall never be parted again  .  

                            its as easy as breathing air  … 

when their hips glide together , slow and steady and lovingly  .  every move more passionate than the next  .  finger dig into nuri’s broad chest from where the apostle straddles him  .  nuri is buried deep within paul and its a brand of worship that almost feels TO MUCH LIKE SALVATION to feel right ,  but prayers are said on those lips when nuri sits up and presses them against paul’s heated flesh  .  fingers lose themselves in paul’s long locks tugging ever so slightly with every rhythmic pattern of hips moving against his  .  perhaps he’ll have to ATONE for the lust coursing their his veins  ,  an argument can be made though in the capacity that this is more than LUST ,  its a breath of fresh air as they make love in the twilight cascading through his open curtains  .  

both their hearts merge as one , all of their hopes and dreams intertwined with one another  .  paul can feel that gush of heat rising within his thighs as beads of sweat form around his brow . he stops with only a few grinds more of his hips letting the disciple groan into his shoulder  .  all that is need is the words that lift through his lips already brushing against nuri’s ear  .  ❝ i love you  . ❞

nuri is his AIR  ,  his salvation  ,  his motivation  ,  and his everything  . he’s what paul has waited for his entire life despite being right under his nose for those few years  .  yet both still teens and confused as hell trying to just survive in a world that didn’t WANT them  , but they’ve always wanted each other  .  doesn’t matter how long they’d been apart  .  GOD’S WILL has brought them together again and nothing could take him from the apostle  .  

                      its as easy as breathing air to love the man that a divine power                                 said he had the very right to . and who is he to say no to that ?? 

[peacefulapostlearchive]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DIXON !  

           @apostleled / @peletier  / @healsiick / @momentstolen

happy birthday to my bestest friend in this whole wide world. you are my friend , my platonic soulmate. the one in this world i could not live without. you’ve been there for me through some tough damn times this last year and i truly don’t think i would have made it through without you.  i couldn’t ask for a better friend and i am so super glad you chose me. i hope your day is as special as you are despite all the crap going on in the world. you deserve the absolute best and one of these days we’ll actually spend it together. You are so amazing and inspire me to be a better person , friend , and writer. there is no one quite like you out there ( except my husband cause how the hell did i find two of you?) but i love you so damn much and you should never EVER EVER FORGET THAT. 

[browniesgraphics]

happy birthday dixon !! ♥️  @apostleled

[peacefulapostlearchive]

Disciple to Paul Seed.- Cascade Hills, Hope County, Montana. || @apostleled

“Do not urge me to leave you or to return from following you. For where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there will I be buried. May the Lord do so to me and more also if anything but death parts me from you.”

[apostleled]

peacefulapostle‌.

all those emotions are necessary to keep his flock where he needs them to be  . though nuri doesn’t need the bliss to keep him in falling right in step behind his apostle  .  no ,  its a love that runs so deep into near obsession and he’d care more if it wasn’t as useful as it is  . he’s die protecting paul  ,  he’d do what it took to do his bidding without question and there’s a certain level of WORSHIP that goes into his affection for paul  .  

he follows orders flawlessly as he sits there on his knees ,  even paul knows that even the best laid plans can run astray  . his disappointment in the disciple is more than just his failure  ,  its the frustration at the situation but someone must pay for the shortcomings  .  fingers reach to caress the line of a strong jaw before they disappear into thick head of dark hair to pull it back so nuri’s chin tilts up toward the apostle  .  the other begins to speak and paul listens without interrupting  .  he gravels and it leaves a smirk on the face of the herald almost like a drug he needs  ,  he inhales deeply  .  

fingers loosen on the hair and paul steps away ,  his steps venture around nuri once more to the dresser behind him where the BLISS incense await  .  he knows that nuri doesn’t need it and neither does he but the SENSATION is intoxicating  .  so he lights it ,  lets it fill the room in a haze for a few moments  . its not enough to completely control someone but just a dose to fog the mind to let inhibitions fade away  . not that he has any  .  

❝  quiet now … ❞ paul demands while turning around to take the steps towards nuri again  .  his fingers disappear into that luscious head of hair again to tug a little firmer  .  ❝ i want you to stand  .  take the few steps forward to the bed and lay flat on your stomach  .  careful , no tripping  .  ❞ there will be lessens taught but pleasure … pain  … expiation  .  can all be one in the same  .  its how PEACE can be made . ❝ tell me WHY i should forgive you  .  tell me WHY you aren’t just a waste of my time  .  GOD has granted us access to the gates of EDEN and your shortcomings might be the misdeeds of what ends of us all  .  ❞

Devotion so deep? Nuri would do all of those things and more for his Apostle. His Paul. The one whose name he whispers like a prayer and the one who he loves so deeply it’s embedded into his soul. As much as his soul is his own anymore. He’s unsure how little of it he has left that hasn’t been placed into Paul’s hands already. “Without you, I would be lost. Please believe me. I never mean to let you down..” 

Eyes brim red at their edges. “I love you,” his head easily tilts back as a hand runs through his thick hair. Goosebumps run down his spine. The smirk HURTS but there’s a level of okay with that. More than okay. He’ll take whatever Paul might give him. No matter if it’s ache in his chest or warmth. Oh but he lives for those times when the warmth comes. Prayers, devotion on his knees? Are the price he’ll pay and he’ll pay it willingly.

Nuri’s eyes lower as Paul walks away. He doesn’t turn to follow his path. Instead, his jaw flinches and he licks his lips. “I’ll do better,” his voice cracks. The scent of the incense fills his nose and with it comes the soft coiling of the BLISS through his senses. Paul’s voice has that quiet echo in it and he silences immediately, fingers twitching to life against his knees and the sensation it ripples through him pushes a small sigh through parted lips.

Letting out a small cry, not from pain but from surprise, Nuri stands and the small sway of his body is only a ripple of the sweet smell filling his nose. Without hesitation, he’s crawling onto the bed and laying flat on his stomach. Not even the smallest protest given. His head lifts, eyes round as though he’s been slapped and his gaze fills with a deep sadness. Face fallen, he looks up at his Apostle as wet splashes into the corners of his eyes. 

“My shortcomings...,” he repeats back and his voice sounds BROKEN until he clears his throat and lets his head fall to rest again. “I’m trying my hardest to keep you safe. I would do anything you ask me to. I’ve had him but...it doesn’t matter.. Forgive me because I love you. Forgive me because you’re my world. I’m not failing on purpose.. My hands are half-tied and I’m doing the best with what I’m allowed to.” If he could kill that annoying gnat of a Deputy, this would be different. Another deep inhale and his muscles visibly relax, the anger fades and he whispers once more. “Forgive me because I’m yours..”

[apostleled]

peacefulapostle‌.

think of it as a sort of punishment  .  one that comes with far too many sensations but pleasure and pain can coexist  .  they both know it  .  the apostle is frustrated , angry , and fed up but THIS is how he relieves that tension and nuri is all too willing to allow the apostle to vent those strong emotions in this way  .  how he’ll have his way but there are steps  .  he is very particular in his ritual of giving himself to someone  ,  even nuri  .  

stripped down and on his knees  ,  paul digs into his the top drawer of his dresser  , only a glance back at his lover does he check to make sure the disciple hasn’t moved  . he still has his knees pressed into the wood flooring and his chin dipped between his shoulders  . the sight spawns a smile as he finally finds what he’s looking for  .  the blindfold to obscure sight from sin  .  ❝ you may not look upon me tonight  .  ❞

with the fabric in his hands ,  paul finds his stride and closes the distance between himself and nuri’s back  . one hand reaches out to grip tightly to the broad shoulder and he finds his disciple trembling  .  anticipation? fear ? oh how magnificent would it be for both  ??  ❝  easy  ,  my love  . ❞ he sets the blindfold in place over nuri’s eyes and ties it at the back and when he’s done he’ll press his lips to his ear  .  

❝ in the morning , we’ll repent for our LUST but for now you follow my lead and it’ll be far less traumatic  .  this is punishment enough  .  your sight being taken , but the sensations will drive you insane  .  ❞ nuri’s breath is quickening and he’s clenching his fists at his sides and the sight of him  ??  well … there’s definitely excitement displaying for his apostle  . desperation is peeking through when the disciple speaks ,  his tone coming out in more of a whimper  .  

“i need to feel you.”  he pleads but it paul shaking his head and circling around to the front  . ❝  you cannot touch  ,  not until i say  … now before we begin … you need to pray , nuri  .  pray to be forgiven  . your soul is weak and i’m going to help heal it  .  ❞ 

Need. Want. Love. Fear. The lines have long ago blurred. Became some sort of jagged blend mixed with Paul’s own hands until Nuri only knows one thing; Paul is all that matters. He needs him. In every way. Wants his approval. His love. His adoration. His WRATH. He’ll take every drip of Paul he’s given. Like a man dying of thirst in the desert and handed a teaspoon full of water.

Instructed not to lift his head. Not to move from his knees no matter how long it took. Until he was released from them. He kneels. Head down and his body betraying him by the slightest shake to his limbs. He sees it. Through the strips of dangling hair. His hands tremble and they won’t stop. You may not look upon me tonight. Nuri has to fight instinct to do exactly that.

The shaking. How goosebumps dance from Paul’s hand like fireworks. The way his Adam’s apple bobs painfully. His breath halts until his lungs burn. Both. It’s both and he can’t help biting into his tongue. Those eyes are what bring him out of the dark. Even now. After all Paul’s done while staring deep into his. Those eyes bring him home and what will he do without them to stare into during THIS? --He’ll find out. Won’t he?

My love and Nuri’s heart melts. He stays steady as the cloth is being placed about his face though the hue of his skin drains a shade. REPENT. His teeth bite into his bottom lip at the insinuation of what that means. He knows what it means. In spite of that? He stiffens painfully between his legs as that voice circls around him and he can’t---can’t help but whimper his need to feel his Apostle.

Nuri’s brows visibly knot together above the blindfold and he whimpers, nodding the slightest bit to say he understands. It’s seamless how it unfolds. Paul’s demand is met with a swipe of his tongue over a lip riddled with indent marks. “Please..forgive me and my weakness. Forgive me for all I’ve done that’s been a disappointment. Teach me how to be strong. Teach me how to move past my shortcomings. My wrath, my lust, my greed. So that I can be what’s needed,” his voice cracks and he’s not sure if it’s good enough. Paul---please?” Such a loaded question. A prayer not to Joseph, not to God. But to the Apostle above him.

[apostleled]

@eric-raleigh  || prompts that don’t sound like porn! ||  accepting!!

26. to make my muse whimper

Nuri’s been gone on a run for three days. When he gets home? He doesn’t say how shaken he was from what went on out there. He doesn’t need to. Eric sees it on his face the minute he walks in and their eyes meet. It’s a look that happens far too often in the world the way he is. That look that says he might not’ve made it back and he’s about ready to fall on the ground and kiss the damn rug out of gratitude for coming home. Eyes go round and wide, waiting for an explanation. “Everyone’s okay,” is Nuri’s reply to the look. His voice wobbles. Physically? Okay. No one died. But it was AWFULLY close and nearly him. He’ll never tell Eric that part. Or he’ll stave it off for as long as he can.

But Eric doesn’t ask questions. He looks deeper into his eyes. Nuri watches as Eric folds his lips in and he’s deciding, mulling over what instinct already tells him now. His stomach tightens as the air in the room shifts. Eric moves close. Closer. Hands grip Nuri’s hips and he’s pressed back against the side of the staircase before a pair of lips take his. Eric pours out all the worry, all the concern and what he feels into Nuri’s mouth. He can taste it there. Sweet and tangy and all Eric. Home. It tastes like home. “Fuck.. Eric,” his voice is a pitched rattled, “I missed you, too. So much.”

The warmth of Eric’s tongue slips from his mouth only to be replaced by the balled up material of his own shirt being shoved in. Nuri bites down as fingers graze his chest and hover above his belt. It’s undone and his pants are around his knees with Eric falling to his own between his feet before he can let out a muffled grunt. Teeth pinch the fabric tighter as his eyes roll back and the back of his head rests against the balusters when a pair of lips wrap around the tip of his length and the heated, soft wet of Eric’s mouth welcomes him in with one slow push forward between them. A muted whimper makes his body shudder as hands fall into soft hair guiding him lower.

[apostleled]

I'm crawling into you inbox to sprinkle you with love and happiness. You're brilliant and I adore you. Stay safe and stay wonderful.

// i love you so much! i hope you know that! you’re the cat’s meow and then some. like..wow. i can’t believe i’m lucky enough to have you in my life. what?!?!

[relaxandrelease]

[americasdaddytm]

PSA ABOUT THREADS

It’s okay to time skip in a thread. It’s okay if you want to give a thread a proper ending. It’s okay if a thread is just one scene. It’s okay to give a thread a beginning, middle and end. It’s okay to make a thread whatever you want it to be. 

I love the idea of a thread being like a book. It can be as short or as long as you want. Don’t be afraid to talk with your roleplay partner about the life span of your thread. They don’t have to be indefinite. They can have an ending and then you can start a new one.

[apostleled]

@memoryhallowed​ || prompts that don’t sound like porn! ||  accepting!!

18. for one muse to wake the other by fingering them/giving a handjob (aaron!)

Nuri couldn’t help himself. Laying there with his arms wrapped around Aaron, the press of himself against the other’s back? It was the perfect way to wake up and, apparently, a little too much to ignore the way Aaron was hardening in his slumber from the way Nuri moved against him upon waking. Still blissfully asleep, Aaron breathed steadily and nudged himself closer. Nuri felt his heart speed up in his chest. A splash of electric heat swirled around in his belly and the wickedest of still sleep drunk grins spread across his mouth wide enough to show teeth. Before they bit down into his bottom lip.

Without hesitating much longer, he gently moved himself around until he could see the features of the man sleeping in front of him. Blue eyes flicked across Aaron’s peaceful face and he held his breath hoping not to have woken him up. Only when he noticed he didn’t? Nuri eased himself under the sheets kissing a trail down Aaron’s back while his hand traced a feather light line down the center of Aaron’s chest. They always slept bare whenever they could. Today he was grateful that they were able to.

A soft sigh parted lips that soon pressed against the curve of Aaron’s hip. His fingers, though? They found their way around the half-hard length and closed around it, his thumb tracing a line along the ridge of the tip. Another kiss and it trailed in closer to where his own body begged for it to be as his fist began to move. Skin ran past his tongue. A strip painted a warm wet along pale skin. It wasn’t until his tongue found it’s mark. Pressed against the ring of flesh he’d been inching towards that he heard Aaron’s first deep, gravelly noise of a groan. His tongue curled, flatted and then pressed in just past the rim in response. A groan of delight and he began to time the thrust of his tongue with the trust of his hand. Slow and steady. Enough to lure the other to waking.

[apostleled]

peacefulapostle‌.

                his anger is heightened  .  its fire and hell and boiling over the edges that he might just explode  .  but he CANNOT allow that to happen  .  everything is going so chaotically wrong that even joseph is beginning to seeth  . not outwardly but the observant apostle can tell  .  they are the CALM ones  .  where jacob and john are the war , joseph and paul are the peace with faith tending to be the balance in between them  . right now though all paul wants is to make them pay and his disciple is disappointing  . 

❝  you need me ??  Nuri … . oh dear nuri  …  ❞  paul closes the distance on his disciple and presses a hand to his chest  .  the anger is still threatening and it shows in the tight tension in the fingers pressed against nuri  . ❝  then you need to SHOW me that i need you  .   this SINNER cannot roam freely  .  they’ve destroyed too much  .  struck down our brothers and sisters  .  everything is on fire and THEY ARE TO BLAME  .  take as many people as you need but they need to be stopped  .  ❞

there are no emotions to be read on the apostle’s face despite the tranquility still present  .  he’s as peaceful as he always is , no matter the fury bubbling just underneath  . he’s been kidnapped and injured  ,  at least he manipulated his way out of that way pretending to know nothing of what his brothers have done  .  and they will PAY  .   THEY WILL ALL PAY .  with god’s vengeance will rain down on them all and only then will their sin be demolished  .  all through the hands of this faithful disciple  .  ❝  do not disappoint me again  . ❞ 

Nuri has to swallow around his own anger as he feels it threatening to boil over inside of him. Anger at himself. At the deputy. Even THE FATHER who is putting him through this cat and mouse game of chase but not kill. Where Paul wants nothing more than to have this nuisance taken care of before it end sup threatening their very way of life. Or their lives in general. Which it already has. This insolent ASSHOLE that he has to keep darting around and yet..not touching. Never touching. Only corralling him towards some destination that Joseph wants him to be.

The brothers, though? The brothers. They see. They all see what threat is lurking and what is going to happen. Why can’t he do what he NEEDS to do and swat this gnat for the very last time? Because he’s instructed not to. Not by Paul. Not by John or Jacob but THE FATHER who will not see nor open his eyes to the truth that this deputy will end them all. And yet he can say nothing. Only stare in a building sense of PANIC and FEAR of Paul’s disappointment. Of Paul’s cold eyes and how they take his heart and shred it to pieces when they look at him that way. Each time it leaves him in tatters. He’s not sure how many more times he can piece himself back together again without going against what THE FATHER says.

“Please tell me... Do I go against what The Father commands? Do I end him? I’ll do it for you. I will. Tell me to follow what you will and I’ll do it.” Desperation and confusion. Who is he supposed to follow? THE APOSTLE. It was wired through him by the others and it’s killing him slowly not to heed what his Apostle demands. “I don’t know what to do,” he confesses and feels his insides recoil at the words leaving his tongue. “I’m so lost..I’m trying but..I’m---lost.”

[apostleled]

I know of heaven by the line at its gate and I hear that the Kingdom is not far away so come drink the water if you wanna be saved an’ all God’s people ….said amen.

promo by: @peacefulapostle

[meyhew]

i have bde. bisexual disaster energy

[apostleled]

heads up! blacklist warning!

// any naughty stuff on all my blogs can be blocked by blocking the phrase tw: ooh la la. they’re always under read mores without question. cause i like to be considerate to everybody while still enjoying stuff with my partners! ya dig? but this is an extra step for you to truly not see anything whatsoever if that’s not your bag! browse and tumblr safely, my friends. i love ya. 

ps. always welcome to fade to black for those not into this but ya know? here’s ya note!

[apostleled]

@peacefulapostle​ || prompts that don’t sound like porn! || 10. for an argument to turn into sex

Nuri came home bloodied and sweaty. His face marked with dirt and muck masking the dried blood that covered it in splotches. They tested him by doubting his Apostle. For it? They learned the price. Forever. Because in Nuri’s world? There is no chance at attempting to correct your mistake when it comes to whispering behind Paul’s back. There’s no trust. No amount of begging can save you from REPENTING at the hands of Paul’s devoted Disciple. He, immediately, went to the shower. Without so much as a word to Paul who he heard milling about the kitchen. This late at night? Paul knows why Nuri hasn’t come home. There’s no doubt he’s been keeping himself busy.

By the time he steps out of the shower. Inside the steam, he sees Paul waiting by the mirror. His arms are crossed over his chest and his eyes are positively on FIRE. The questions pour out. Where has he been? No, he doesn’t want to know. Why does he think this is necessary? What will it take for him to STOP? To it? Nuri can only reply with his logic. It’s logic that sounds like an excuse. That he CAN’T. Because..it does sound weak but it’s reality. There’s something inside of him that switches on and it doesn’t shut off until his hands are dripping and there’s a trail of bodies in the wake of his WRATH.

He’s come so close to Paul that he’s touching him, his naked form pressed against him and hands cupping each side of Paul’s face. “I can’t stop it.. I can’t.” Another whisper ends with a press of lips against Paul’s cheek. “I can’t help it..I have to protect you.” He’s half hard and starting to ache. The contact and adrenaline in his veins? Addictive and they make his blood boil. “I’m sorry...” His left hand reaches for Paul’s right and guides it down his own chest. A long fingered hand covers Paul’s and wraps the Apostle’s fingers around himself. “Please.. Please forgive me.” Words whispered heatedly into his ear. His hand tightens making Paul squeeze him before he grinds into his hand. “Please...” 

[apostleled]

@peacefulapostle​​ || soft fluff || “Everything about you is so easy to love.”

They’re sitting on the porch and the morning’s barely started. Fog coats the grounds around them. Leaves barely beginning to bloom in the earliest part of spring. Nuri’s legs dangle over the edge and he’s bent forward. Arms crossed on the length of a banister and his chin resting down against them. It’s peaceful. Such a change from Savannah and Atlanta where he finished college before going in search of Paul to offer him a life that he wanted to build from the ground up. Together. Like they always deserved to be.

Things didn’t turn out that way. The scars and tattoos on his body, etched in at the hands of Paul’s brothers. One with a needle and knife. The other from training before even looked Paul in the eye. A sacrifice of pain and blood to the future they now have. A vow pleaded to the heaven at the feet of the Father. Would he take it back? Any of it? Only if he could take Paul with him. And, yet, strangely enough? He can’t imagine leaving here now. 

Perhaps this is the future they were always meant to have. Where he can protect Paul from anyone who might bring him harm. Including himself. ANYONE. The blood in his hands is always washed clean. No matter what Paul knows of him now. There’s no judgement. Only love. Love. And love. Arms wrap around his stomach. Paul’s legs appear against the outsides of his thighs. He feels a kiss press to the back of his neck and a whisper hit his ear. Paul’s voice sends a chill up his spine and he can’t help but turn his chin against his wrists enough to peek down at the hands holding his chest so snugly.

“I love you, too. Every piece. No matter what.” Hands cover Paul’s and squeeze. “You’re mine and I’m yours. And...good morning.”