Shadow’s apple juice blog

It’s me, Shadow the Hedgehog. I have retired from my life of terrorism to drink apple juice and shitpost.

[applejuicedrinker]

I have a confession.

I actually hate apple juice. It is a truly despicable and unlikeable beverage. I used to like it, but Sonic made fun of me the last time I drank it and said I was drinking piss before he sped away. I lost my appetite and poured the rest of it into the grass before falling to my knees and crying. Sonic was right. Apple juice is literally the color of piss.

Just kidding. Haha.

Sonic did say I have a piss kink though.

[applejuicedrinker]

In America, there is talk of something called “the Super Bowl.” I’m not exactly sure of what will be contained in this supposedly large bowl, but I hope it is apple juice. Such a large mass of apple juice would finally give me a reason to believe that humanity is useful for something.

[applejuicedrinker]

I went to the grocery store today to buy some apple juice, but I kept overhearing the same phrases in people’s conversations. They kept saying that they “love messy” and “messy is number one”. I’m not sure what caused this sudden popularity in being disorganized and using incorrect grammar, but please stop encouraging this behavior.

[applejuicedrinker]

Sometimes, when I drink apple juice, I think about Maria. I think about all of the earthly luxuries that she will never be able to indulge in. But I know in my heart that she would have downed gallons of apple juice if she was able to because the food on the ARK was so fucking dry.

[applejuicedrinker]

I fucking love apple juice