I am a Rafayel girlie first and foremost, followed by Xavier, Sylus and Caleb.
{ Rafa is my BFF, Xav is my fwb, Sy is my sugar daddy and Callie is my porn muse. }
❗️I try to update at least one of my fanfics once a week, but my writing spurts depend on my ADHD hyper fixations or rumination periods.
🏳️🌈 I’m pansexual, so my fanfic pairings sometimes don’t cater to the stereotypical heterosexual narrative, there will be F/F and M/M action, I mainly write stuff I wanna read or stuff I can’t get out of my head.
Never in my life have I been more HAPPY that this new Li does not look like my type 🤧 think about it girlies! He will give us more chances to farm for diamonds and get free rolls for the other Li’s! And most importantly, give our wallets a break!
On the other hand… if he turns out to be more of a simpering puppy than Caleb… we are 💀
Uhh might be odd me asking this but u ok? No pressure to update or anything just seems like your having a rough go at life and noticed its been almost a month since there was sighn of life so wanted to check in since the world is chaos atm. Hope your feeling ok and hope you have a betrer rest of the year. Hang in there you got this! - 🍏
Thanks for asking 🙏🏼 not doing so good atm and its not even the meds, just going through some tough life slaps so to speak… I haven’t had time to even think about writing. I can’t make promises for the near future, but I do wanna finish the stories I’ve written so far by the end of this year, that part isn’t going to change. I’m doing my best to hang in there and survive 🥲
previous part ….. next part | ‘F*ck the system’ series | LaDS masterlist
Synopsis: One minute you’re playing LaDS, then next minute you’re in it. The system is giving you a run for your money and fucking you up every second of the day. Just another day in the life of an NPC wannabe.
Pairings: Caleb x Y/n
Content warnings: AU, isekai, reincarnation, angst galore, NSFW, colonel Caleb — will update tags as we move along, semi-proofread / lemme know if I missed something.
Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the characters from the LaDS universe, except for Y/n.
The title inspiration was from a song:
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Part 3 - Run, rabbit, run
His palms slid down to your ass, kneading and pulling you in closer. That’s when you felt it, his thick cock, hot and throbbing against your stomach and you jerked like you’d been shocked.
Affinity level: 71%
Your hands flew up, bracing against his chest. “Wait,” you croaked. The blood rushing through you was roaring in your ears. This wasn’t the right time to panic. You needed to be smart about this.
He grunted in frustration, muscles going rigid under your palms, but allowed the distance to happen. You felt his palms retracting to your waist in a loose hold, allowing for you to slip sideways. The concern on his face seemed real; you didn’t know if that made it better or worse.
“I—sorry,” you stammered, already backing toward the door. “I’m not feeling too well after all. Think something I ate is staging a coup.”
His brows drew together, skeptical. “Now?”
“Yeah, well, my timing’s shit,” you said, forcing a weak laugh. Your chest felt tight. “I just—need a minute. Or several. Preferably horizontal and not in a sexy way.”
His gaze swept over you, searching, weighing. You could practically see the calculation running behind his eyes: you were shaking, breathing too fast, heart hammering against his chest a moment ago. Your reaction could easily be mistaken with feeling unwell and you used it to your advantage. The colonel could see through lies and for a second you thought he was going to call you out. Press you. Pin you there and demand answers you couldn’t safely give.
Instead, his jaw flexed and he stepped back half a pace, giving you a sliver of space. Reluctant. Frustrated. But worried. In his eyes you probably did look overwhelmed, which was an understatement.
“Fine,” he said slowly. “Go. Get checked out. If it’s anything serious, I want to know.”
Relief filled you. “I’m sure it’s nothing,” you lied, already reaching for the door panel. “Just need to sleep it off.”
His eyes lingered on your mouth. The heat there hadn’t gone anywhere; it had just banked, coiled deeper. It made your skin break out in goosebumps and not in the best of ways.
“Don’t run from me,” he murmured, so soft you almost missed it and for a second you almost pitied him, but you knew better. The same man hadn’t hesitated to pull the trigger mere seconds ago.
Your hand fumbled on the panel. “I’m not. Just… tactical retreat.”
He huffed a quiet, disbelieving sound and watched you go.
You slipped out before the system could throw another prompt in your face, boots too loud in the corridor as you hurried back toward your quarters.
The door hissed shut behind you, sealing you in. You sagged back against it, sucking in a breath like you’d been underwater. Your hands were still shaking.
The room came back into focus in slow, ugly layers: the dim overhead lights, the scuffed floor, the neatly folded blanket on the bunk you hadn’t really slept in. The air felt too thin.
You sighed loudly, defeated. You had no idea how to fix it and you didn’t want to in the first place. Your plan had been to have a little fun with him and then break up when MC showed up, but the system wasn’t willing to even give you that much. Guess it was time to move to the second part of your plan. Cut your losses and move on.
—
You called in sick the next morning.
The lie tasted thin even as you transmitted it, citing “food poisoning” and “headache” and “persistent nausea.” None of that was technically untrue. Your stomach did feel like it was tying itself in knots, but not from illness. You’d just decided you were done playing whatever game last night had tried to turn into. If it was one thing you learnt from all this, it was that the system was never on your side.
You dozed, dreamt in flashes, Caleb’s hand on your throat, his sneer, the nonsensical words he spat right before the shot. You woke up with your heart racing and your fingers clawed in the blanket, but you forced yourself to breathe through it, teeth clenched. You were not going to fall apart over him. Not again.
The chime at your door jolted you upright.
You froze.
Another chime. More insistent. The camera flashed Caleb’s face. You stared at it, jaw tightening, and decided to ignore it. You could just pretend you were asleep. Let him go bother someone who still wanted to be dragged into his orbit.
Authorization: Colonel Rank – Access Granted.
The lock disengaged with a soft, treacherous hiss. Of. Fucking. Course.
You pushed off the bed, not scrambling this time so much as moving fast and deliberate, tugging your oversized shirt straight, rolling your shoulders back. You scrubbed a hand down your face, not to erase panic, but to wipe away anything that might look like it. By the time the door slid open, you were braced.
Caleb filled the doorway.
His uniform felt sharper than usual, as his eyes swept the room once, cataloging everything, then settled on you. His eyes flickered with heat and worry and something darker, coiled under the surface. Confidence, like he already knew exactly how this conversation would play out.
“You’re a terrible liar,” he said by way of greeting.
Your mouth went dry, but you didn’t look away. “Good morning to you too, sir.”
He stepped inside without waiting for an invitation. The door closed behind him with a quiet, final click that sounded way too much like a lock sliding into place.
“You called in sick,” he went on. “No medbay check-in. No medication requisition. No incident report from the mess hall. No one else reported symptoms. Interesting outbreak.”
You forced a thin, sharp smile. “Maybe I’m just special.”
“You are,” he said. “That’s the problem.”
He moved closer. Not with the sharp, predatory snap from before, but with focused patience, like he was stalking a skittish animal he fully expected to corner. You felt the air shift as he narrowed the distance between you, stopping only when your calves hit the edge of the bunk.
“Colonel—”
“What happened last night?” he asked, cutting clean through your attempt to stall. His voice was soft, edged in something that might have been frustration, might have been bruised pride. “One minute you’re… there. With me. The next, you’re shaking like I put a gun to your head.”
You flinched, then forced yourself to straighten. Oh the irony.
You swallowed once and held his gaze. “I told you. I didn’t feel well.”
“Right.” He took another half-step, nudging you back until you half-sat, half-fell onto the bunk. He loomed over you, hands braced on either side of your hips, caging you without quite touching. “And this sudden, miraculous illness just happened to strike the moment things got… heated.”
Your pulse hammered, but you refused to shrink. “Look,” you said, forcing each word out slow, controlled. “Last night was… a lot. For me. And after I got back here and calmed down, I realized something.”
“Did you now.” His voice flatlined, as if he already decided that whatever you were about to say would be wrong.
You met his gaze head-on. “You’re my superior officer... I shouldn’t have kissed you.” The words landed flat in the space between you. Caleb didn’t move, just looked at you, a scowl slowly twisting on his face.
“Is that what you think last night was? A mistake?” he scoffed, clearly offended.
Your breathing hitched. “Yes.” You forced yourself to look him straight in the eyes, so he couldn’t accuse you of lying later. “I was out of line. It won’t happen again.”
He went silent and studied you for a long moment, head tilting slightly. Then he straightened, putting an inch of space between you.
He exhaled forcefully, like he was trying to keep level headed. “So you’re ending this because what? You suddenly decided to act professional? Don’t make me laugh.”
“There’s nothing to end, Caleb. That’s the point.”
He flinched, like your words physically hurt. His brows furrowing in that pained look, you’ve seen so many times on the screen and your heart squeezed.
“Don’t call me by my name now of all times,” he said, voice dropping low. “What really happened Y/n? What was it that made you change your mind half way? You’re the one who kissed me first.” His eyes didn’t leave yours.
Your throat tightened. “I decided it wasn’t worth risking my career for a fling.”
He exhaled slowly through his nose. The controlled kind of exhale that meant he was working very hard to stay inside his own skin. “You’re lying,” he said simply.
You held your ground, “I’m not.”
Alert: Affinity Fluctuation Detected.
You clocked it in your peripheral vision and did nothing, jaw tight. The system was being vague as always. It didn’t even bother showing the percentage of the affinity like you were somehow supposed to know what the warning meant.
“Don’t do this,” he said, barely above a whisper. His forehead dropped to yours, the gesture so unguarded it stole the breath from your lungs. His hands moved to your your face, trembling slightly now, barely perceptibly. “Whatever this is, whatever is making you think you need to do this, we can fix it. Just talk to me.”
Your eyes burned. You kept them dry through sheer stubbornness.
“There’s nothing to fix,” you said softly.
Warning: Emotional Instability Detected. Stabilize subject Caleb.
You almost laughed. You, who were barely holding yourself together, were supposed to stabilize the man whose hands were shaking on your face. The system kept issuing commands like you had any idea what you were doing. Like there was a manual somewhere you’d missed. There wasn’t. There never had been.
“There is.” His voice broke on the second word. He pulled back just enough to look at you, eyes searching, bright with something he was fighting very hard to keep contained. “There has to be. Because last night—” He stopped, swallowed, started again. “Last night was the first time in a long time that things felt like they were finally clicking into place. Like something had been returned to me that I can’t name.” His thumbs moved against your cheeks, slow and involuntary, like he couldn’t stop. “And I need you to understand what I’m telling you. I need you to hear me.”
Your heart broke cleanly in two, but you held the pieces together through willpower alone. You couldn’t save him. It had never been your place to begin with.
“I hear you, but I—” you started before the system interrupted you.
Warning: Instability Escalating
You didn’t know what the threshold was. The system never told you how far was too far, what the exact cliff edge looked like before you went over it, just kept issuing warnings whenever you got too close for comfort. Too close to what exactly? You never knew.
Caleb who was unaware of your inner distress continued. “Then please,” The words came out raw, scraped down to the bone. “Whatever I need to do differently, I’ll do it. Whatever you need from me, space or time, I’ll give it to you. Just don’t—”
His jaw worked. He pressed his forehead back to yours, eyes closing briefly, breath unsteady. “Don’t end this before it starts. You owe us both more than that.”
“Caleb.” Your voice came out softer than you intended, and you saw him respond to it immediately, the slight lean toward you, the tightening of his hands on your face, hope and desperation braided together in his expression. It gutted you. “I’m sorry,” you said. “I really am. But my answer isn’t going to change.”
You needed to do this. Needed to at least try. As long as the system didn’t—
His eyes opened, looking deeply into yours, searching them one last time with the focused, exhausted look of a man who already knew what he was going to find and was looking anyway, because not looking meant accepting it.
Critical Deviation Detected. Reset Imminent.
Your stomach dropped straight through the floor. No. No, no, no! Your pulse spiked so fast it made your vision swim, the system text burning red and urgent at the edges of everything, a countdown with no numbers, just the certainty of erasure and waking up somewhere you didn’t choose to be, again.
“Wait—” The word ripped out of you before you could stop it.
Caleb blinked, startled by the sudden shift, the crack in your composure you hadn’t meant to show. His hands stilled on your face. “What—”
“Just—” Your breath came out ragged. You could feel the reset gathering like pressure behind your eardrums, like the moment before a storm broke. You had seconds, maybe less, and no good options, just one, the same one that made everything worse.
You grabbed the front of his uniform and kissed him.
It was graceless. Desperate. Nothing like the careful, deliberate kiss from the night before. He made a startled sound against your mouth, body going rigid for a half-second, before his hands tightened in your hair and he kissed you back with something that felt like relief and fury all at once.
The red text flickered.
Reset Imminent.
Reset Imminent.
Notice: Stabilization Registered.
You sagged with the relief of it, mouth still against his, fingers twisted in the fabric of his chest. Your heart was still slamming. Your hands were shaking, but you were still here, still breathing, still in one piece. You had never managed to reverse a reset before. That had to count for something.
It chimed again.
Affinity level: 71%
So the system wasn’t going to let you break things off with Caleb on your own terms. Big surprise. The only option you realistically had was to play its game and bring the affinity back to 0%.
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previous part ….. next part | ‘F*ck the system’ series
Hey!! It’s been awhile since you posted anything, i just wanted to let you know that i hope you’re doing okay 🥹
Thanks for asking 🙏🏼 I’m ok, I’ve been a bit depressed lately since coming off the antidepressants, but I feel like I’m finding my footing again. Started working on Caleb’s route, it’s just proving to be alot harder to write than it used to without the ADHD voice in my head dictating what to write 😅
I can’t believe normal people don’t have random unprompted thoughts in their head all the time. It’s definitely a challenge getting used to. It’s like switching from driving an automatic car to a manual… 💀
How are you feeling has your cold gotten any better? :( sorry you had a nasty cold by the looks of it. !
I adore your writing so far from what i've read so far of " aloving home" and I think i saw somewhere scrolling through you mention that you would be doing other serise maybe in the future? Do you have specifc consistant peramiters for how your A/B/O systems going to work or will it change it up? i know diffrent writers use diffrent systems so i was curious what type of A/B/O system/rules you plan on sticking to possibly. Also after calabes route in your latest fic do you know whos you might start next? these are so good!
I hope your feeling better!
Honestly when I first started the story all I had in my mind were Sylus and Xavier bunny hybrids… but my ADHD kept rambling and adding new elements to it until it became what it was 😅 I wasn’t even planning on it being an ABO universe, heck Caleb wasn’t even part of it, but here we are 🥲
I think it’s fair to say that I already made up my own ABO rules long ago without even paying much attention, just relying on whatever my brain fed me… so why stop now 😆
Lately I’ve been giving much thought to how Caleb’s route, in Fuck the System, will go, so my focus is now on that.
glad to see you’re doing okay! i think of your stories sooo often. it is a habit now when i log in on this website to head over here just to see if there’s anything. i know med changes can be rotten so im sending good vibes ✨✨
Thanks! And sorry I’ve been absent 😅 it’s proving very hard for me to be able to think when my mind is so silent. The stories used to come to me unbidden and now there nothing 🥲
While I do appreciate the peace and quiet in my mind right now, it’s proving to be a difficulty when it comes to writing. I have been going back and forth through all my stories and I’ve decided how a few of them will go… I just need to remember how to write again 🫠
Going through, by far, the worst cold I’ve had in a while and it got me thinking…
WHAT IF… and hear me out! What if you’re going through the shittiest flu, tissues stuffed into your nose so you stop dripping everywhere, feverish, your whole place is upside down because you can’t get yourself to clean, dishes everywhere, laundry mountain and you pass out on the bed, exhausted. Only to wake up with one of the Li sleeping next to you (reverse isekai style).
Which Li would you prefer it to be? Remember they are technically complete strangers, they don’t know you, don’t know how they got to your place and this will be their first impression of you… GO!
Xavier
Zayne
Rafayel
Sylus
Caleb
Voting ended onFeb 13
Personally I would be horrified if it was Rafayel, exactly because he is my favourite and I just know he wouldn’t be able to hold back his comments 😩
*Added note: I love that people are avoiding Sylus and Caleb for the exact same reasons I would lmao Stranger Danger ‼️ and honestly I agree, Zayne would probably be your safest bet!
i cant wait for calebs route to be finished! just saying, if you do speedrun his part of the story youll have my support 100%. otherwise, i hope that the new meds have been better for you, as someone who is also going through the trials and errors of ADHD meds i get how disorienting it can be, all the power to you my dude
Thanks! I have many ideas on how I want the story to progress, but the fact that I cannot settle on one and write it until the very end is frustrating. I’ve written and deleted so many pages…but I am not giving up! Just trying to find the right one, to satisfy my thirst 🤭
How are you doing? I hope you're doing well ❤️ Don't forget to take care of yourself.
Although I'm waiting for this super hot chapter with Rafayel and others in WBS...
But I was more interested in another question. Maybe I missed this moment (I will reread wanna be sisters) how Abel feels about the fact that he now lives in a super large family. Wasn't it too much for him at first? Won't Abel start to be jealous of his mother's others? How does he cope with the fact that he will live with another person for a while?
It seems that Abel and his Mom!mc will need to make a day just for the two of them! And I think someone will want to join their walk, but Abel can be stubborn! And someone from love interests will still want to go for a walk and will end up watching from behind the bushes🤣 (I bet a dollar that it will be MC And maybe someone else)
I want to fantasize a little more on this topic, but I am somehow embarrassed to develop my thoughts and share them😮💨
Sorry this took me forever to respond 🥲 @rosso-seta
I regretfully didn’t spend as much time rounding up Abel as a character so I don’t have any answers to your questions right now. BUT I do plan on making little side stories here and there, especially for Abel and I’ll do my best to answer all your questions there 🙏🏻
WBS is the first story I have ever wrote, so there are alot of things I have overlooked in the process. I don’t want to leave things half assed, so I will do my best to polish my skills in the future and learn from my mistakes/blunders.
Also! Please don’t be embarrassed, I am actually very flattered that my story lives in your head hehe 💖
Unfortunately I think of those early Caleb/Reader/MC moments in your poly fic all the time, they were so interesting psychologically to me and also super hot. I'm glad you write what you do! 💕
Just wanted to say that i love how you write xavier so much in both FTS and the self aware one. I reread them before bed almost every night🥺
Awe thanks! 💖 honestly I think he’s such an underrated/underestimated character. A lot of people think he’s aloof and somewhat cold, though I think he’s just as clingy as Rafayel, but since he doesn’t dramatize as much, he gets away with it 🤭
Just wondering if we are going to ever see the remaining 2 (or 3 if 6 ML is ever added) love intrests not allready brought up in the loving home story line at any point, or will it just be Caleb that gets added by the time it ends?
Also i hope you are doing well take all the time you need for your health and well being! I was just curious because ive really been enjoying the story ^v^ have a lovely day!
Honestly, I was tempted 👀 but no. I feel like if I do, I’m just going to make the story unnecessarily crowded and I’ll be pushing myself in a corner.
However! I do plan on making more hybrid stories in the future 😈
Hi April, how are you doing? It has been awhile since i saw you so im just checking in!
hi, I am in fact not doing super good rn 😅. On top on switching my adhd meds, my psychiatrist had me quit my antidepressants so my nervous system is currently self regulating. I’m experiencing a mild depression, but it’s chemical and it should fade by the end of this month, so I’m currently waiting it out. I’m sorry if I got you worried and thanks for hanging in there 🙏🏻
I have a question about Xavier's route in FtS. Now that he has managed to hijack the system, does it also mean that he have admin rights? Is it possible for him to create quests?
Because damn, what if he could force Reader to do something through quests?
Like, for example, for one of her daily tasks: Have sex with Xavier (0/10)...or something equally absurd with a penalty not involving death but something very much mortifying she'd wish the system will kill her instead lol
Lolol you guys have given this alot more thought than I have 😅 I mean he’s a yandere now so I dunno, but at the same time I feel like Xavier’s more of a ‘do it’ than ‘wait around for you to do it’ I think.
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