So Yeah

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Or how about when he's all into Pokemon Go but still refuses to take you geocaching on the grounds that it's too boring? smh

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How great would it be if this blog devolved into housewife complaints? Like when you cook a dinner that you're super proud of and your husband's response is just "huh. My mom doesn't make it this way."

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I'm having a really hard time getting back into blogging. I have tumblrblock? idk I guess I just lost my mojo.

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We're trying to make fetch happen The most exciting thing that's happened to me lately has been owning a puppy. He fetches much better than I throw.

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Hello, friends. Did you miss me?

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I’m not sure that I can actually be an adult unless I’m capable of opening mail without ripping the envelope to shreds. Thoughts?

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Nobody reads my Yelp! reviews and that makes me feel a lot more sad than it should. I give quality advice guys, promise.

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The truth is apparently a giant tease

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puts on way too much makeup

Okay I can fix this. I just need...more makeup.

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A Haiku

nothing can ruin

chocolate except for maybe

surprise coconut

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I imagine the casting call for the part of a Nazi commander is always either:

Incredibly good-looking

Incredibly terrifying

Because apparently there are no Average Joes in the Hollywood Third Reich.

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Sometimes I look at nature and think “wow this looks just like a Bob Ross painting.”

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Such art So wow Very berry

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I take selfies in the car because whatever

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I just got messaging

idevenk what that means or why I would need it - none of you ever talk to me

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People who actually use "lmbo" make me lmao

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Genuinely surprised that I don’t have pink eye considering the amount of times I’ve had a cat rub their butt in my face.