Happy thoughts, happy thoughts. Contentment, in our heart.
we don’t really get that often. but when we have them, or when we felt it, we would inclined to take it for granted.. once you’re facing something heavy and out of your ordinary life, then only you would realised how valuable the time & days you’ve had on those particular moments.
it hit me hard now, that we have been taken away from our blessings of education & privilege of studying as an international student abroad.. eventhough for now, it would come to sense that this would only be a temporary thing. but you see, it is more than just ‘studying’. your home, your friends, your family, your freedom, your health.. i refuse to take this whole experience to be only temporary.. because this is the chance for us to actually, grow. and really, look deeper into life.. because we tend to take it for granted, we tend take people around us for granted, we tend take the nikmat that allah gave us for granted.. taken it for granted by means - we rarely stop and say, alhamdulillah. we rarely acknowledge them.. we neglected our creator’s calling into practicing the right direction/path.. but we decide to stay in our comfortable position - being complacent over our own sins.. this, obviously, reflected how i fell about all this. different people will interpret or read it differently, since we experiences life through our very own, unique lenses and body.
its a daily reminder for me, to atleast - always, always be grateful. to always, remember the Creator. atleast, atleast, at the end of the day. atleast, when my heart full of sorrow (i said atleast, bcs there were some days that i seek peace within sumthing else other than Him, without even realising..) it good to have reminders sumtime. & i know, atleast is never enough. so i try to always remind myself, Aqilah, in the time & days that your heart is full of joy, love, peace.. filled with contentment.. remember your creator. thank him. be grateful. you wont lose anything pun by doing so. show gratitude. dont ever, take it for granted.
i just felt, how amazing it is.. when Allah want something to happen, it could just happen. he could take anything away from you in just a split second! one day, you’ve been living your flawless routine, and the next day, you could live, begging for your life to be spared. its crazy, how near, this whole scenario felt right now.
Giving you a little bit of context, its the first week of April, 2020. and its the 3rd week of quarantine for me and my housemates. we’re still in the UK, deciding not to go back to our home country. we stay put, and stay together.. we cant have direct contact with people outside. just to be safe. from the virus, that could disturb your respiratory system. from the virus, that could easily transfer from one person to another.. sound like some sci-fi bs but yup, its here~
oh well, we shall embrace our situation now, rather than just, act as if nothing happen, yeah?
Actually my initial reason of writing today is to write down about my second anniversary celebration that me & shahril had last December haha because the thought of it always make me feel soft & blessed :> to have sumone that would plan something, just to celebrate the day that we found each other <3 and also, its a form of reminder for me too, that these feelings do exist in me.. bcs when things get hard.. those feelings tend to cloud really easily and it scares me :(
but yeah, i think it’s enough for now.
