You Know What? I'm So Disappointed.
So disappointed in some of my people and I'm not okay. It's not okay that some people STILL have said nothing about what's happened in the last 3 weeks but are extremely vocal about the Pandemic.
Your silence about the death of George Floyd and countless others, police brutality and just plain murder, have been hard to take, and at least once a day I've thought about it. I usually wouldn't voice my opinion about this particular topic because I've always been an advocate for people being entitled to their opinion, to do whatever feels good for them. But this time, the silence is too loud. There's an elephant 🐘 in the room.
I don't like to make up a story in my head so I've started trying to not guess and create excuses for people, but this time I'm going to give it a shot and say it's any number of the reasons below:
- That's nothing to do with me
- I just can't..I need to keep my sanity
- I'm not going to say anything because I don't want to get involved in these awkward discussions
- This happens all the time, what can I do?
- I don't want to say the wrong thing so I'll just be quiet
- I'm not going to say anything so we can move on 'cause we should be off this topic already
- This is depressing so we need to move onto the fun stuff again
-I can't be around all of that negativity
-I've got law enforcement in my family/circle so...
And any number of other reasons that are likely personal to you. I can give these examples because I know I've felt a couple of them in the past myself. This time though, with the unrest extending all over the world I'd think it would be something we'd all talk about. COVID was all you spoke about until a few weeks ago, and then, nothing.
It's been amazingly eye-opening, albeit saddening, that there are still family and friends of people with mixed heritage who have still not even acknowledged this, not only black people.
You realize this, not because they don't post on their social media, or don't check in on you when they can see it affects you, but because it's never even mentioned in conversations! And please don't mention it in a group conversation or when they ask how you are collectively and you bring up how you feel about this because, there will be nothing from certain people! No real response to it. It floors me that someone would choose to not say anything about it at all!
Now, I understand that we're still in a pandemic and that it's been harder for some than others, mentally. But let's be honest - racism has been the Pandemic forever. Is our capacity for growth and love so damn small that they can't exist together? If it's because you feel like it doesn't affect you, well...it does. If you have a black person in your family or in your circle period, it really does. Why would you feel it doesn't? Perhaps you still have the mindset of not wanting to be seen as siding with the people who are being treated this way?
Whatever it is, I'd like to counter this, can you examine yourself and why you really aren't addressing it? Then, why you hold the opinion that you do? Is it time for a change? Can you do that without feeling attacked that you're even being asked about this?
Listen, seeing the same thing happen, over and over again can be numbing. You start to believe that this always happens, it's sad to hear but what can you do about it. You've got to get on with your life. Well of course you do, we all do, but iygnoring and just living with this no longer works. Not for me or the people that are in your life. Doing, the same thing over and over again without addressing what's behind this aversion to talk about it, well, it's not working for me or those people you know either.
So here's what you actually can do:
Listen when it's brought up and acknowledge it.
Talk about it, bring it up even, because the only way out is through.
Through having conversations that may be awkward and freaking uncomfortable.
Through discomfort there can be serious understanding and growth.
Through understanding there is empathy and connection.
We can together, be present, and make space for each other's humanity.
Otherwise, your silence is deafening to me and others who are your family and friends. For me personally, it's all I hear and from now on, I see you.