Arabella

She wondered if maybe some angels never got their wings back, that she’d have to stay like this forever, with her wings cut off, bleeding and tired

[fluoxetine-baby]

[arabellafairy777]

One side of me feels fragile, like half of my heart were made of glass. The other part that is determined to not care, to not let anything get to her. That half feels like it’s made of steel. My heart is broken in two but it’s still whole

[arabellafairy777]

She was playing a game, feeling happy and energetic, suddenly her dad spoke to her, telling her to quiet down because it was nighttime. She knew he had the right to ask for some quietness. But somewhere inside her, she felt the happiness that had been there seeping out of her heart. She felt as if she were back in elementary school, singing in class while the others laughed at her, telling her to quiet down. She remembered their comments, the cruelty of their words, telling her she would get nowhere in life, but singing on a garbage dump. How her parents must regret ever getting her because of how pathetic she were. She wondered what they would think of her now, if they could see how much she had truly fallen apart.

She slowly felt their words reaching into her heart, replacing what was left of her joy. She cried herself to sleep that night while hugging her stuffed bunny, feeling insignificant and small again.

[coquettemeth]

literally me core

[arabellafairy777]

She suddenly felt a wave of happiness and joy take her. Her smile felt so genuine, so real that it almost suprised her she could be capable of such a thing.

Her emotions didn’t feel loud anymore, instead she felt peaceful, content for this moment.

She laughed and almost felt like a child again, the way she couldn’t stop smiling, the way her heart had begun to soften melting the ice that had frozen over the cages of her heart.

[wsummerr]

Never knew her name..

[arabellafairy777]

I miss my weheartit and wattpad days

[sweeetchai]

hmmm

[arabellafairy777]

If Seraphina Van Doren and Lyra Abbott were a person it would look like her

[arabellafairy777]

Sometimes I wonder if what I feel isn’t just a sense of low self esteem but rather self hatred towards who I am. Or maybe it’s that I know I don’t deserve to be loved, to be cherished or to be worshipped. I get off on the pain, the cruel words, the depth and rawness of how malicious they can be. Taking the most vulnerable parts of me and twisting them into shame and numbness. There must be something wrong with me. This can’t be normal. I can’t be.

Sometimes I replay the moments that most people would try to shut out. The ones where you feel yourself shrinking, feeling insignificant and pathetic. The words that were said, calling me crazy, dramatic, praying on my downfall. Going back to that, it just makes me want to relive it.

This time I wouldn’t be able to talk back or stand up for myself. No. Now I know I’m truly broken, because who would miss that kind of treatment. Who would want to relive that again

[arabellafairy777]

This music-video and song speaks to some of the darkest parts of my heart

[arabellafairy777]

I just started listening to subliminals again. I’ve missed it sm. I instantly felt myself going back to a better time, being reminded of what confidence felt like

[arabellafairy777]

Quotes by Dakota Fanning that made me feel seen

“Why are you so sad?”

I’m just…sinking. Drowning. I’m trying not to—like, I’m trying to stop ruminating on everything but I can’t. When will I get over this?

I wished I could grow wings and get the hell out of here, fly as far as possible from my life and start again somewhere else—as someone else.

I want you to hurt me. To force me

“I’m gonna hurt you. Just a little bit."

He’d hurt me and I’d let him. I’d even beg him to take it further. I liked the pain.

You want me to think I’m crazy, but I’m not. I’m not fucking crazy.

Why would you do that to me? Why would you make me need you? Was it a game for you?

I don’t know what to do. I’m falling, and there’s nothing for me to grab onto. I’m surrounded by empty air and my stomach is twisted and I can’t breathe correctly because of how fast I’m falling and I’m not sure when I’ll hit the ground.

Why am I so easy to hurt?

Please come back and hurt me again. I like it. I think I need it.

I think I regret this.

[arabellafairy777]

Strawberries with yogurt strawberry dream ice cream is such a nice combo (ignore how messy it looks)

ᨳ꒰ ྀི ◞ ˕ ก꒱

[444prilsbae]

watching baby again

[arabellafairy777]

Nikki Cruz coded

[justcallme1anangel]

[arabellafairy777]

Ainsley Sinclair the angel you are

[arabellafairy777]

She clutched her hands around her heart. Oh how it ached to love someone. The melancholy and high of losing herself had slowly seeped into her body. Spreading venom into her bleeding heart.

[arabellafairy777]

Quotes by Ella Christian that really hit close to home

Clearly I’m so f*cking desperate for affection that I’ll let myself be used by anyone that gives me the slightest amount of attention, good or bad

”who are you without him?“

”nothing"

”no one“

"I don’t exist without him"

"You hate yourself that much huh?"

She craves love

I want his affection. His anger

Make it hurt

I want more of it. I’m sick. I’m twisted. I’m wrong. I don’t care

"God Ella, what type of relationships have you had?"

"What’s wrong with you Ella Christian?"

"Why are you so f*cked up"

”tell me why you’re f*cking starving for attention"

I was bleeding for you..

[arabellafairy777]

I saw these stuffed animals today and they were so soft and cute! I also love the sparkling stickers. Reminder to myself to go into bookstores and do some window shopping to relax

[justcallme1anangel]

[arabellafairy777]

This is giving Ellis Earnshaw if her story was set into a more victorian dark academic setting