everything's uglier up close

"May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you're wonderful, and don't forget to make some art-- write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself." -Neil Gaiman.

[araxai]

( ooc. )

[thepuddang]

[wordsnquotes]

I still don’t know how to love someone without swallowing them.

Blythe Baird, Give Me a God I Can Relate To (via wordsnquotes)

[araxai]

kan-chanchan-ah:

“Well…” she began as she dug around in her pocket for her phone, “not exactly, but that’s the vibe I was getting…” when she finally pulled the ringing device out, she sighed. Of course he’d be calling her right now. She sent him to voicemail, and then stood there awkwardly for a moment. “So… I’m seeing someone…” she mumbled, getting gradually quieter after the ‘so’.

“I didn’t know I had a vibe. I’m sorry.” She chuckled quietly, though it was pretty much devoid of humor. Her eyes followed Chan Ah’s movement with her phone, her eyebrows drawing together slightly. At the other girl’s words she froze, her throat closing up on her. Chan Ah had mumbled it, but Ara had heard all that she needed to. “Oh.” She said after a few seconds of silence, clearing her throat. “That’s, um, that’s... good. For you. You deserve something that makes you happy.” 

[araxai]

kan-chanchan-ah:

So she hadn’t heard, she realized. Should she even tell her? Was it important? What if she got pissed. Oh, god, what if she cried? “Well, um…” she stuttered, until her phone buzzing cut her off. She ignored it. “I dunno, I just figured you weren’t talking to me, so…”

Ara was getting more confused by the moment, and she had to resist the urge to jump when she heard Chan Ah’s phone going off. “Is there a reason I wouldn’t be talking to you?” She asked, her eyebrows rising. She didn’t like where this seemed to be going. “You can get that if you need to.” She said, nodding at the other’s phone.

[theliteraryjournals]

I have survived. I am here. Confused, screwed up, but here.

Laurie Halse Anderson, Speak (via theliteraryjournals)

[araxai]

kan-chanchan-ah:

She fidgeted in the doorway. “Okay, good… I just… well, I figured you were mad at me,” she confessed, leaning against the doorway.

“Mad at you?” She asked, tilting her head to one side. But she didn’t try to get any closer to her again, sticking with her position several feet away. “Why would I be mad at you?” 

[araxai]

kan-chanchan-ah:

Handing over the box, Chan Ah took a deep breath. “Well, I… I’m..” what was she trying to say? She’d planned so many things to say, and they all just left her. “Ara… we’re friends, right?” She asked, lifting her head to meet the other woman’s eyes.

Ara took the box, standing awkwardly with it for a second before she turned to set it down on the coffee table. She paused for a moment after Chan Ah’s question, her back turned. Were they friends? This didn’t feel like friends. Nonetheless... “Yeah,” She said, setting the box down and looking back to Chan Ah in the doorway. “Of course we are.” 

[araxai]

@kan-chanchan-ah

“Well, I figured at least the books… there’s at least one textbook in there, those are expensive…” She kept her head down. If she didn’t look her in the eye, she thought, it would be easier. Just give her the things and go. “So, d'you want me to just…”

Ara didn’t know why Chan Ah wasn’t looking at her, but she didn’t like the feeling it caused in her chest. “I can take it.” She reached out for the box to take it from the other woman, feeling extremely awkward. “Is that it?” She asked.

[araxai]

"Hey, um..." she held up the small box she was carrying. "I figured you'd want this stuff back. It's mostly hoodies, and I think there's a book or two."

@kan-chanchan-ah

Ara was quiet for a moment, her reaction delayed a second by her shock. This seemed like a scene out of a movie, one that Ara was definitely not prepared to deal with in real life. Not with Chan Ah. “Uh, yeah.” She stuttered finally, leaning her weight against the open door. “Thanks, I guess. You didn’t have to, you know…” 

[yoosmile]

18/30 edits of powerful yoo ara

[araxai]

me: i just want my muse to be happy

also me: *ENCOURAGES ANGST, ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS, GENERAL DRAMA, HEARTBREAKING PAST, DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIORS*

[araxai]

kan-chanchan-ah:

Chan Ah answered the door and greeted the delivery guy, taking their food and paying the bill before thanking him and shutting the door behind him when he left. “Finally is right, I’m starving,” she agreed as she sat back down and laid out the food on the coffee table. “Okay, this one is yours, and that’s mine… oh, and that’s dessert. Had to get something sweet,” she said with a grin as she picked up her box.

“Mhm, me too. Lunch seems like it was forever ago now.” She chuckled, leaning forward to grab her food from the coffee table. She pulled it towards her and set the lid back on the table. “I think this food is the best thing that’s happened all day.” She grinned, glancing at Chan Ah. Well, maybe second best. 

[araxai]

kan-chanchan-ah:

“It’s about a woman who falls in love with a man who turns into a wolf, and their children…” she struggled to explain it without spoiling much. “It’s good. You’d like it, I think.” Not much later, her call box buzzed. “Oh! That must be the food,” she exclaimed, getting up to buzz the delivery boy in.

“I’d feel bad for the woman, having to deal with a wolf and some wolf children.” She laughed quietly. “Maybe I’ll give it a try later.” She looked up when the call box buzzed, almost whining when Chan Ah moved the blanket and the outside air hit her legs, but she stopped herself. She was hungry, after all. “Finally.” 

[araxai]

kan-chanchan-ah:

Chan Ah offered her some of the blanket on her lap. She wondered absently how long it’d been since the food was ordered. Food would give them more things to preoccupy themselves and not talk about much. “Have you seen Wolf Children? I think you’d like that better. It’s not as dry, it is a little sad, but it’s a good story.”

Ara took the blanket that Chan Ah offered and spread it over her own legs, shifting around again as she fixed it. “I haven’t.” She admitted when she was satisfied, looking again to Chan Ah. “I’ve never even heard of it, actually. What’s that one about?” 

[chloeyoo]

[wnq-writers]

I am not quite sure how to tell you that you shine brighter than sunrises over oceans you have stardust at your fingertips, and the earth in the palms your hands, and that your smile, is enough to warm a thousand frozen hearts in the coldest of winters. I am not quite sure how to tell you that your passion makes you beautiful, and your kindness makes you strong and that your ability to see beauty in others is one of the most wonderful, underrated things in the world. And I am not quite sure how to tell you a whole lot of things but most importantly, I am not quite sure how to tell you that you are worth everything.

carlinrose (via wordsnquotes)