Shane & Ilya Heated Rivalry S01E06
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Love Begins

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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

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@archdukefernandez
Shane & Ilya Heated Rivalry S01E06
it’s sooo funny when rude customers encounter employees who can deny them service for the first time.
i was working at a little cafe where I could deny service over bad behavior, harassment etc. & mask mandates had just ended a week before & already people were being weird about me still wearing mine—an N95, the kind shaped kinda like a duckbill.
so this man walked in, looked at me sooo scathingly, laughed at me, and said “damn. never known a woman to choose…practicality over looks.”
And I just said, “oh. you can go, you’re not getting a drink.” And he said, “what???”
I said, “sir, you just walked in at 6 am & called women impractical and me ugly in one sentence.”
And he was so astonished he didn’t even argue he just turned around and left 💀🙏🏻 it was like he suddenly became self aware
One summer I was running ferry rides across a lake so people could see the waterfalls without walking 6 miles when a guy snapped my bra strap as he was boarding the boat. So i immediately threw him off, he started yelling for my manager, my boss cheerfully informed him that, yeah, she’s the captain of the boat and she can kick off anyone she wants. He goes to storm off, looks expectantly at his girlfriend, and she just goes, “Well, I’M not walking six miles, Michael! I’ll meet you back at the car!” and sits right back down!!!!
The expression on his face when he was told that he couldn’t get on the boat, then immediately told that his girlfriend was ditching him? PRICELESS. he just blinked at her and then stormed off like a child. I gave her a free hat and was like maybe rethink this relationship…….
i once had this fucker come up to order a beer. while i pour it he shows me the wanky fucking chemical structure tattoo on his arm and he’s like “hey. you know what this is” i was like “nah sorry” (never cared abt chemistry in school, plus having to look at a some rando’s pretentious tattoo gives me the douche chills). he decides to respond with “heh. you must not read many books”
i immediately stop pouring his beer. i reply: “heh. you must not want this beer.” thirsty boy immediately starts groveling like a worm “please please no i do want the beer im sorry im sorry” believe me when i say it was one of the most pathetic things ive ever witnessed
gotta love people immediately backpedaling when they realise that there are Consequences To Being Mean
I genuinely believe that part of why it has become so normalized to be openly callous and evil in politics is that customer service culture has trained affluent people that they can treat everyone they consider beneath them however they want and still be treated kindly.
i know in my heart that ilya is a frequent perpetrator of Barnacle Behavior.
does not matter what shane is doing: chopping up a salad, sorting out supplements for the week, actively using the stove where hot oil is involved ilya this is DANGEROUS-
ilya is doing Barnacle Behavior and staying attached to his back. he'll move with him. he'll even fully cross the kitchen with him. but he's not letting go.
and shane will roll his eyes and complain and act like this is SO annoying, but if ilya started to let go, shane would be the one grabbing his arms and putting them back in place.
if you're going to do Barnacle Behavior, COMMIT.
take a break while watching this little bunny cross your dash
My sister-in-law (husband’s sister) was supposed to get married this fall but due to some immature/concerning behavior by her fiancé, the wedding and engagement were called off. (I don’t want to be too specific, but there were sudden red flags, followed by his sudden decision that he wanted to postpone the wedding months or years despite the fact that most of it was paid for already).
I explained the delicate situation to my mom, as my sister-in-law is letting the news get out by word-of-mouth from the immediate family rather than an awkward “unsave-the-date”. My mom obviously told my own family.
Apparently my dad was so angry by the behavior of this guy that in the lunchroom at work he made everybody listen to the whole story (censoring names and identifying details) and said “I’m not crazy, right? This guy sucks!” And then reported back to me all his different coworkers that agreed this guy sucks, as well as their variety of ages/genders to indicate widespread consensus.
Organically sourced AITA reddit thread.
I wasn’t sure if my vibes about this post would come across over text but you all picked up exactly what I was putting down.
I love you, too.
pretending to wake up so you're not caught staring or waking up with your love staring at you
at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you
at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.
at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly
at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.
at some point in your life you will be adding a small pasta to a soup and you will think "that is not enough small pasta." this is the devil talking. the pasta will absorb the stock and expand. this is how you end up with a soup that is a solid mass of soggy ditalini.
At some point in your life you will be adding garlic to a dish and you will think "that is not enough garlic." These are angels speaking. They are correct. Add more garlic.
everytime u go outside ur spending $60 automatically its crazy $60 is the new $20
Stop buying food and coffee and make it at home. I'm begging everyone.
ok well i filled up my car with gas and got cat food for my cats so idk how this applies to me also the “don’t buy coffee anymore” thing is rlly annoying from ppl acting like buying coffee is the reason ppl r struggling to keep purchases under 20 dollars instead of capitalism inflating prices for shareholders to buy another five houses like. eventually yall gotta stop doing the “no more avacado toast!” thing to ppl bc there is no budgeting that is enough to outrun inflation
😭 Listen, they’re not tears…it’s hot lava pouring from my eyeballs okay. That’s how angry I am. 😡😫
Bear Selfies Captured By Camera Traps
I haven't seen anyone do this yet and I think it is a painful void in the Project Hail Mary fandom. Guys. Put Grace in a space ball on Erid and have him break down Rocky's door and roll around knocking things over. Cmon guys.
"Wow Rock you live like this? Junk all over the floor and parts everywhere? Very messy."
"Rocky is not enjoying Grace's games, Statement."
ilya + kissing & rubbing shane's back
oh I know how to make a poll's results look like the letter E watch this
what is the rightmost digit of the number of responses this poll has right now? (it should be visible before you vote.)
0, 1, or 2
3
4 or 5
6
7, 8, or 9