Pivotal

[archhhh]

Never been a fan for the holidays

People say they’ll stay always

Then dip when the stitches fray

Reminds me of years of silent nights

No dishes no people in sight

Wanting to give, but no one to be given

The love I had, stayed in my heart to live in

Im losing faith in family Cus in reality

I was not blessed with reliability

I walked weeks with my head low

But nobody brave enough to know

They’d just see me go

Say, he’s just like that Let him be

So i was left with thoughts

Like i should just go

They’ll be fine without me

They never needed me

My words were wasted

My melodies they’ll miss

When i see bliss

From an angel’s kiss

And die on this hill

I thought I’d build my castle on

But is it real?

Was it really that much a hassle huh

They say, if you have God, you have all you need

Trust, Ive always been alone, and that is all ive ever known

To put my trust in He and not the hearts of man

But ever tried to lay a foundation down single handed

Just being candid, without a village, your effort’s compounded

Ever had the one you trusted most go ghost

Walked years possessed with grief

From relying on a root, turned out a leaf

Then out the silence they returned

After ive been here arms open and burned

My feet wont run after chasing

This burden or this blessing

All ive done was give

Love disguised as words and

Hurt disguised as words but

He who hates his brother committed murder

So are we killers or are we strangers

What will redeem us

[archhhh]

Tips when cooking multiple dishes

These were relevant especially during Thanksgiving.

Making two different stocks give you a combination of three stocks. Change up the proteins, herbs, spices, and vegetables used.

Caramelize onions. Use this for everything

Render belly/jowl/bacon in oil and butter. Use as oil base for sauteing everything.

Minimize washing pots between uses. For example, after caramelizing onions and transferring them to a bowl, I'll use the same pot without washing to render bacon. Then, after transferring the bacon and oil, I'll use the same pot to cook the greens. As long as nothing scorches, the flavor buildup is exponential.

[archhhh]

I asked the island to grant me safe passage.

The island said: “Of what value do you bring besides the body that becomes fertilizer for my flowers should you fall where you beseech me.”

Savage. The island be. So too i become. Savage.

[archhhh]

The hardest thing for me was to see you buckle under the weight of the pain you carried. All I wanted to do was run in and carry it with you..till we were both crushed.

[archhhh]

Funny how the mfs who dont like to be judged the most are the most judgmental.

[archhhh]

Life without love

Music without sound

Food without flavor

Heart without blood

Wind without air

Ocean without waves

River without water

King without power

[archhhh]

What is worse? Not knowing if someone loves you, or not knowing to tell someone you love them?

[archhhh]

Unconditional love. You might place no conditions on the other: you would love them regardless what they do or do not; however, you would have to place conditions on the self: that despite hurt and pain you would still love them.

[archhhh]

You ever noticed cycles repeat if you got it wrong the first time. How merciful. For the price of going through it again you get to go at it again.

[archhhh]

You know someone had everyone they trusted in walk out—so quick no one is sure who walked out on who—and while everyone walked back or stayed in each other’s, they didn’t.

[archhhh]

All I’ve ever done was pick my own self up. You didn’t have to tell me. You didn’t have to remind me of the times I relied on no one.

[archhhh]

My son,

why so downcast?

Why so sad and filled with rage?

What grief has stricken you?

What joy have you lost?

Have you forgotten what you’ve been through?

Have you forgotten where you’ve been going?

Has the hurt gotten too hard to bear?

Did the pain become attached to your being?

Do you remember what you tell everybody?

Why don’t you trust them?

Why don’t you trust yourself?

[archhhh]

I use words to lift others up. Don’t ever tell a writer actions speak louder than words. What you think picking up a pen and spilling one’s soul to shine for another called?

[archhhh]

Ever reached out and only got silence? Yeah silence is mature. Very mature. Sure. It’s the most mature way to fuck someone up slowly.

[archhhh]

To all my only-child brothers and sisters out there:

I hope you find the place where you belong; the people whose loyalty you need not question; and the mental, physical and spiritual fortitude to accomplish your purpose regardless who stands and walks with you.

I also hope the ones you trust won’t just watch if you ever stumble.

And most of all, I hope you get to feel consistently loved and wanted. Start with yourself.

[archhhh]

I shine my light week in and week out through music with my spirit. I pray for all before myself. And you wonder why my light been dim.. Who other than God shone their light on me lately and didn’t walk away right after.

So while you watch as the dark been tried to consume me, I begin to wonder why you don’t realize your own light is not an ornament but a star that can light my way.

Me? I’m like the sun. I can rise without you. I can fall without you. I can shine in the east. I can hide from the west. I can go dark forever where I stand. Yall just gon sit and watch as this sun is eclipsed?

[archhhh]

Was the lesson the impact or the pain?