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<< is this what you want? >> handsigned by Link @gloryseized

Zelda's hand traveled over her desk. She pawed at the various tools strewn around her, wrenches, screw drivers, picks, graphites, screws, and gears. At the same time with her other hand, tongue wedged between her teeth and lips, she attempted to affix a plate back into a Sheikah device. She had to delicately pinch the plate, the device, and a loose screw all at once which made her search unfocused. The little machine, about the size of a goose egg, was supposedly used to douse for water in arid regions. Riju had asked Zelda to fix it as it would be of great use to the Gerudo in the desert. It had proven to be incredibly tedious.

When Zelda did not detect the tool she needed on the desk, she looked-up. Just as she turned, the very tool was placed a few inches in front of her eyeline. Zelda blinked, startled, as her gaze focused on the tool. Link held it out to her by the handle, an amused look on his face. She hadn't even realized he had returned from his errands that morning, she had been so taken by her work.

Sunlight streamed through the open shutters of the windows, lighting-up the flecks of dust that spiraled lazily in the air of the house. It was a humble abode, Link's old home prior to the Calamity, but it was quaint and comfortable. The pair of them had lost everything: their families, their friends, their homes. Since Ganon's defeat they had taken the arduous task of rebuilding their lives. Zelda, at first, thought that meant the restoration of Hyrule Castle but it turned-out to be sweeping off the front step and buying new clothes at the shop.

"Thank you," Zelda said, with a smile. She paused and watched as Link hand-signed to her. "Yes, it was. With this I'll finally be able to finish this project of mine."

Link shuffled about the house, putting away the fruits of his mission afield (going grocery shopping at the market) as Zelda returned to minister to the device. She pried the plate into place, screwed it tight, and marveled as it sparked to life. It would require testing and refinement, but it turning on was a good first step.

She pressed to her feet, sliding her chair back under the desk. "Link?" She called, "Shall we have lunch?

[archivedrpblog1234]

Magic: Link is like 5'5" give or take? Me: Okay, so Zelda is 5'7", got it.

I mean, we gotta keep it canon, right? @adventuroushero

[archivedrpblog1234]

A little attached to the head canon that Hylia is dead. She died in the war against Demise in ancient times. Her cult persists but the goddess herself, is dead. Instead, her soul reincarnated into a human girl ... ... And the power and role of Hylia persists through the bloodline of that human girl. Which means, Zelda is the guardian of both Hyrule and the Sacred Realm, and its most tenacious protector, and that impulse is in her blood. This is a woman who straddles the line between divine and human. Human in her mannerisms, her mortality, her words, but divine in her intention, in her power, and her ferocity. There is no length, no depth, no cost, that Zelda will not go to protect Hyrule. All I'm saying is that I want characters to occasionally get the reminder that Hylia was not a gentle mother goddess charged with the upkeep of Hyrule. She was a warrior, and Zelda, although kind, although merciful, although wise, absolutely still fits the archetype.

[archivedrpblog1234]

<< every time i try to help, you just push me away! >> hand signed by Link From LInk w/ Zelda Ronoa @gloryseized to Zelda

The torches flickered, warming the hallway with fire light. Outside the window, upon the balconies and terraces of the village, Zelda could hear the night bugs sing. A steady song of creaking and shrilling, like a sopranos' loving aria. Sunset had invited the cool kiss of the desert's wind, dry on her sweat soaked skin from a day in the sands. She stood in the doorway to her room's balcony, the sheer curtains billowing in the breeze and wrapping around her legs and arms. Zelda smoothed her palm over her forehead.

She had watched Link's quick hands with careful intent. They had only spent a few months together and in that time, she had become... proficient, at least, with his hand signs. It helped that she could watch his mouth shape each word and syllable, clarifying his intent, his emotion. And his emotion was clear, in the forced annunciation of each gesture and his furrowed brows, his set jaw. The boy that followed her around, quietly and without complaint, was upset with her.

They were both tired, Zelda reasoned. It had been a long day of travel and hot, searing sunlight, with too little reprieve of shade or water. Now, the hour had drawn late, and it would be another day before they even reached Gerudo Town. Travel washed down with more travel. Anyone would be snappish.

"Because I do not," Zelda gritted her teeth, pinching at her temples. "Need, your help! I do not want it!"

She turned onto the balcony, reaching for the stone railing. The grit of the carved rock was coarse beneath her palm, and she clenched at it. Zelda could not pinpoint where the anger welled-up in her. Only that it clogged her throat and dug into her tongue like a chigger.

"My father did not assign you to me out of concern for my safety," Zelda said. "But only because he wishes to be involved with all matters of my business. You are not here to help me, you are here to please my father. We are not the protectors of Hyrule. We're a... we're a political show case!"

She crossed her arms, leaning back against the railing. As Zelda had aged it felt like her father had increased the length of her leash and yet tightened his grip all the same. He allowed her outside of the castle walls. He allowed her to research —play in his esteem— with the Sheikah technology. He allowed her to visit the outlying peoples of Hyrule but only as the perfect Princess. Oh, how she heard about anytime she let a stray remark slipped or if he was displeased with the report of her performance!

"Someday, you will rule Hyrule," he'd say in a one breath and yet the other would undercut her reign, "but not if you behave like this." Surely her father was wise, surely, he knew best, surely, surely. But Link was just another pawn in a game of chess, one they'd been playing since Zelda was young. She always suspected her father resented her, the true heir of Hyrule while he was mere regent. The Sheikah were loyal to Zelda, the Blood of Hylia, but Link — Link was sworn to the throne.

She eyed him, would, could, had, Link reported her activities, the things she said, and the places she been, to the King? Was that why he had been assigned to her? If her father asked, it wasn't as if Link could say 'no.' What Knight could refuse the King? How could she possibly trust this boy? He was always there, always watching, his presence was almost choking because Link's eyes may as well be her father's, making sure she sit-up straight and behaved as she should.

But then, Zelda sighed, shoulder sagging, because paranoia was not the basis of an accusation.

"I'm sorry, what I said is unfair to you," Zelda whispered. She tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. "You can't help what position you have been given, any more than I can relieve you of this burden of duty."

There had to be some middle ground. Where Zelda could tolerate his presence and Link could fulfill his role as Knight. She could not think of it right now though, tired, and exhausted, and worn down as she was. The truth was that she could not trust him because she could not know on what side he stood. Which was absurdly unfair to the boy that was being bisected by the interests of two royals. Truly, she said had sympathy for him.

"We are stuck," Zelda said. "But I wish for you to know that I do not hate you, only that I do not know what to do with you. For tonight though, you are excused."

She sighed, catching his eyes, trying to be a little softer with him.

"Go to bed," Zelda suggested. "Get some rest. It has been a long day, and it will be a longer day tomorrow.

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"i'm beginning to be very fond of you." Mineru w/ Zelda Ronoa From @zpirit

The construct blipped and beeped as it came to life. A small little robot of alternating pieces of Zonaite, cogs, and crystals, all screwed together with various pins and bits. It whirled and hummed as a blue light emanated from its core. The little construct began to float, just a few inches off the floor in front of where Zelda sat. Legs folded under her, Zelda rested her chin in the palm of her hand. At long last, success.

She grinned as she watched it began to explore its environment, bumping into table and chair legs. It was a simple design, merely a fraction of the capabilities of the Zonaite technology that Mineru specialized in. When it hit something, it turned around, overtime it would learn the lay of the land, and stop running into stuff. Quite clever, Zelda thought. However, if she truly wished to master and understand knowledge of the Zonaite, she would have to delve deeper in the coming months. This was just the beginning.

Maybe, someday, she would find her way home.

The fun part had been writing the intelligence that drove the little machine. It took a whole page of runic script, which Zelda had to learn and memorize, then enchant into the pieces of the robot. It was engagingly complex. A process that was frustrating at times and yet taught her in her failures. To watch her creation toddle about filled her with inexplicable pride, like it was her own child.

It was kind of cute. Maybe she should name it.

"Oh, don't say that!" Zelda smiled. She rested her elbow in the seat of a chair and looked-up at where Mineru stood by the table. "

[roastyoualive]

No, no, no… Man, he really needed to do a laundry run. He was supposed to do one this weekend, but– 

Too late. 

The air distorts, shimmering with that distinctive whump sound that means Ash is porting in. He tugs on the old band shirt he had in his hands - Guns ‘N’ Roses, his mom found it for him - and turns to face her properly. It would have to do. 

“Hey.” He says casually, tucking his hands under his arms. He doesn’t say it, but the first thing that comes to mind is that she looks awful. She’s clearly exhausted, hanging on to composure by a thread. Not that he’s really surprised - she wouldn’t have texted him if something wasn’t the matter. He debates turning the light on for a moment before deciding against it. The window works fine on its own. Instead, after a moment of shifting his weight, he sits on the edge of his bed. The sheets bunch around him, and he smooths his hand over some of the resulting wrinkles. It didn’t help much. He leaves enough space for her to sit by him if she’d like; if not, there’s the desk chair in the corner still free. Thankfully, he hadn’t gotten so far behind on chores that the chair had gotten a part-time job as a hamper. 

“Don’t worry about it.” He says, tossing his head to get his hair out of his face. As an afterthought, he drops his phone where his pillow should have been. He braces his hands against the mattress and leans back. “So, what’s going on?” The concern in his voice is genuine, even if it has to brush aside grogginess to make itself known. “What happened?”

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Something about seeing Warren settled Ash. Even with his hair all mussed and the wrinkled Guns 'N' Roses t-shirt she could barely make-out in the dark. Especially the way he tucked-in on himself, like he was trying to be a little smaller than he was to come off as less threatening. When he told her not to 'worry about it,' she believed him. Because it was Warren, and even if the distance to L.A. made her forget, being in person reminded her — he was her friend.

Ash sat down next to him on the bed. The mattress dipped as tension bled out of her muscles and body. She leaned forward, hand smoothing through her hair and elbow braced against her knee. It was like this was the first time she sat down all day. Like she was lawn chair folded in half. She sighed into her palms as she scrubbed at her face.

"Melissa," Ash groaned. She reminded herself to keep her voice down even though she felt like screaming. "I hate her so much."

She scooted back on the bed so she could hook her arms around her legs.

"She's insane," Ash said. "I mean literally insane. All I did was take the girls out to see a movie. On the way back we got ice cream, and it was just a little too close to dinnertime though, so she threw a fit."

A 'fit' meant full blown melt down, screaming, crying, she even broke a plate. She just wanted a fight, because..

"Then she made this weird turn," Ash muttered, rubbing her hand along her jaw. "Just bawling about how she wanted to go to therapy with me to 'heal' our relationship and I should be calling her mom. Angela got into it with her, and it was like the house exploded, it went on for hours. So, yeah, I'm just..."

She chewed on her word, exhausted, depleted, broken, furious.

"Tired."

[archivedrpblog1234]

Are you head empty, only Zelda? Are you in the Legend of Zelda Roleplay Community? Are you a legacy character in a long-standing game and so have numerous same face iterations across time-and-space? Well, do I have the Discord Server for you!

Discord is the easiest way to communicate over voice, video, and text. Chat, hang out, and stay close with your friends and communities.

Hop in! Go feral! Eat an entire chicken leg raw!

[roastyoualive]

He didn't usually go for cold things. Even with the fire held back, he runs hot. Chocolate bars melted in his hands so fast, he'd started using chopsticks to eat Reese's. He'd gotten used to it. (Plus, Reese’s were only a few bucks from the vending machine in the Shades’ lobby. He didn’t feel too guilty about buying them every so often.) That being said, he had serious doubts about anyone who didn’t like ice cream. And, he had to hand it to her. This whole situation was so weird, it had, at least momentarily, taken his mind off things. He'd still have to deal with it all later, but this was time to breathe. Time to think. 

Not to say that he didn’t feel out of place. The decor made this place feel more like a day care than a shop in the heights. At least the tile floor was still kinda old, off-white tile. That was a constant around here. Even with that, though, the bright colours and cheery atmosphere made him painfully aware that he stuck out like a sore thumb. Not like he wasn’t used to it. He takes his eyes off the walls, the few customers, and instead redirects his attention to the ice cream counter. There’s a decent selection of flavours. The usual players are there - chocolate, vanilla, strawberry. A few he’d never tried before. He glances up, then follows Ash’s indication to the caramel-adjacent dessert she’d noticed. His brows raise slightly and he nods, considering it. 

“Could be good.” Not like he’d be in any position to complain, either way. Ice cream was ice cream. Free was free. The grin earns a sidelong glance in return. She’s… Pretty calm, given the everything that had been happening. Once again, setting off the ‘weird’ alarms. … Especially with how jumpy she’d seemed during their orientation. He’d thought she was about to die during Power Placement. (He’d thought a lot of people were gonna die during placement, actually. Especially when the cars had dropped. She hadn’t gotten that far, and had still looked like she was about to pass out.) He couldn’t blame her about feeling better away from the school. He could relate. One week in, and he was already counting down the days until graduation. … One week in, and he already got himself into trouble. 

Damnit.

He huffed a breath, returning his attention to the ice cream. Deal with it later. That’s all you can do now. 

“Yeah, I’ll go with that.” He finally agrees. Nothing else had really caught his eye. He stands by as she pays, shuffles quietly, awkwardly. Even though it had been her idea and her offer, he still wasn’t used to someone paying for him. With a nod of thanks, he takes his ice cream from the clerk and joins Ash at the table. He’s content to sit in silence - at least for the first few bites - but that plan goes out the window when she points her spoon. 

“... What?” He blinks, furrowing his brow. Another point for the weird bank. He stares at her for a moment, sitting back in his seat, then relents. “Fine, whatever.” Just as long as she didn’t get the wrong idea. He held the cone out to her, resting his other elbow on the table. 

“Knock yourself out.”

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A bizarre moment of awkward silence ensued from her request, the kind of social stand-off where permission was given but not implied. Like, the undertones of Warren's express, verbal 'go ahead' were actually, ' fuck-off, weirdo.' But it was just like the conversation on the bus. Ash had already taken the step-off the cliff. She was falling and the crash at the bottom was inevitable. All or nothing, might as well commit. Even if it came off as awkward and unwanted. He was so hard to read, so stand offish, and she was trying too hard. A perennial tactical mistake in social interactions.

Why was she here? Because he looked like a whipped dog when Principal Powers carted him off to detention, that's why.

And boy did Ash have a weakness for puppy dog eyes.

Ash skimmed a thin slice of ice cream off Warren's cone. She tested it analytically, meriting out the balance of sugar, cream, and flavor. A pop of caramel richness with the sweet undertones of warm vanilla, not bad, not bad at all. She shrugged, nodding to herself in approval before returning to her own ice cream. Coffee and chocolate, bright, bitter, earthy, the exact pick-me-up she needed after another crap day of school, with plenty of homework to wash it down.

For a moment, Ash eyed Warren. If she was with her sisters, or any of her old high school friends, they'd be sharing bites of ice cream, proclaiming about the flavors, debating the merits of each. Arguing, bickering, being actual kids. It used to be that those little outings were Ash's only escape from her shit home life. It was just another thing she lost beside her grip strength and sanity when she put a knitting needle in her arm. With Warren though, it was like Ash had tossed an easy pitch to the guy and he didn't just refuse to swing, he was still in the dug-out. She looked away, focusing back on her ice cream, gaze flicking-out to the street outside.

Ash tempered her expectations with the events of the day. Going to detention didn't produce a happy camper. It'd be like expecting her to be cheerful after a divorce proceeding. Except, she couldn't avoid or ignore her disappointment. The faint hope that she could connect to someone at this school dashed by the uneasy silence between them as they ate ice cream. Which, fine, if he didn't want to talk, she wouldn't make him.

She dug her spoon into her ice cream, scooped-out some, and then it was out of her hand. The spoon clattered off the edge of the table and to the floor. Ash closed her empty hand, clenching her fingers into a tight fist, nails dug into the meat of her palm. Her jaw worked and with her expression schooled, she leaned forward to pick-up the fallen spoon. It had splattered ice cream across the floor. She got up, fetched napkins, and a new spoon, and cleaned-up the mess. As she returned to her seat, she forced, reminded herself to breath.

She put her new spoon into ice cream, just about a scoop left, and her thoughts chanted at her, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't. Don't think about it, don't cry, don't teleport.

"Sorry," she muttered to Warren.

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salt meme but instead of picking a question, this is a permission slip to rant about a zelda topic that bothers you from @roastyoualive Salty Asks Meme

Am I the only one uncomfortable with the Re-Hydrated Sexy Man Ganondorf fan-art?

I mean, when the first TotK trailer came out with Mummy Dorf the joke was actually really funny. Then, fanon did what fanon always does and drove it into the ground. There was a part of the LoZ fandom that always sexualized Ganondorf, because I mean, look at him:

He's built like a brick shithouse. He has the allure of confidence and power of a villain. In addition, he's consistently an adult character when Link and Zelda range from children to young adult. There's always going to be thirst art for a character like this and honestly? That's a good thing. It's content inspired by interest and usually has an edge of exploration.

However.

The Rehydrated Ganondorf content has gone too far. Because it went from, "haha, what if you gave mummy Ganondorf water and he had abs" to "Oh if you give Mummy Ganondorf Water he'll be HOT"

I'm thinking of comics where LInk and Zelda are bursting into anime nosebleeds about how hot Ganondorf is. If you've seen the comic(s) I'm talking about then you know. In addition is the sort in fanfic where he's sexually confident and liberated compared to the more er.... restricted Zelda/ Link who he tops--

It's edging into fetishization and it's uncomfortable, and I'm tired of seeing it.

[archivedrpblog1234]

1,6,7,9,14 🧂🧂🧂 From @starlyht Salty Asks Meme

What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?

You know what, I was talking about Star Wars. You know what pairing I actually don't like from Star Wars?

Han/ Leia

I blame this mostly on George Lucas being a terrible romance writer. However, I've noticed there's also a slight creep/ chauvinism factor to Harrison Ford's acting/ blocking in romance scenes that adds to it. It's in a lot of his other movies, I'm not going to pull up the receipts, and I'm not going to necessarily blame him, but it's just a Thing.

The Han/ Leia kiss scene in Empire Strikes Back is so uncomfortable. Because it is Han slowly backing Leia into a corner while insisting that she actually does like him even as she says no, recedes away, and then, finally relents to his advances. It's also frustrating how the movie just assumes they're in love and so does Han. Who, by the way, starts the movie claiming that Leia loves him and acting like a jilted lover that she's not paying 100% attention to him in the middle of a siege. This is fairly uncharitable reading of the text, honestly, but it still stands.

I think it's part of a broader problem that Leia's character has in Star Wars where the movie (and probably Carrie Fisher) really wants her to be the badass rebel leader (which she is), and yet, the text itself is constantly fighting her (read: George Lucas). So, instead of having a real arc in ESB, her arc is just... falling in love with Han Solo, the creepy guy who backs her into corners, and argues with her. It doesn't help half of RTJ (the resistance plot) is terrible and the other half (the force plot) is great.

And Han and Leia are stuck in the horrendous B-Plot.

6. Has fandom ever made you enjoy a pairing you previously hated?

TotK Spoilers

I didn't give two shits about Rauru and Sonia when I first watched the TotK cutscenes. They came off as fairly bland, Dude Guy and Mature and Emotionally Aware Wife, couple. I think in general the problem is that both of their arcs are a swing and a miss. Rauru mentions that he was 'arrogant' in how he handled Ganondorf, but the game doesn't really define what he did wrong that made Ganondorf kill Sonia.

(I don't mean in the sense of 'keeping Ganondorf close,' because consider its opposite. What could Rauru have done that wasn't arrogant (if keeping Ganondorf close was arrogant)? Kill Ganondorf right away instead of waiting? Ganondorf, as far as Rauru should know, has done nothing wrong. That's hardly an option. What I'm saying is that in the text itself, Rauru hasn't acted particularly arrogant).

Sonia also lacks any real meat to her character in-game and is unceremoniously killed off for Rauru's angst. Particularly annoying is the scene where Rauru is meeting with Ganondorf and she is completely silent despite Ganondorf's almost lecherously eyeing her up. Her whole 'arc' screams, "I AM A PLOT DEVICE." Which is its own rant by the way.

However, I warmed-up to both of these characters once I hit fandom because fandom, despite my general opinion of it, does make things better.

For example, Rauru's arrogance is the very act of inviting Ganondorf into Hyrule because what he is doing is imperialism. That puts so much more meat and bones on the plot. Instead of Ganondorf just being evil for the sake of it, there is actually a reason for his actions. Rauru is cast by legend as the heroic king but in practice, in history, he is the man who came down from the heavens, colonized the Hylians, and attempted to imperialistically conquer Hyrule. The fact that he is treated as a 'good person' means that he's deliciously complex.

Sonia is more than just Nice Wife Lady #4817. She actually has character and motivations, and I also realize that there's a small, subtle but fun dynamic with Sonia and Rauru. Where Rauru intellectualizes things and over thinks it, and Sonia just intuitively knows it, and then smacks Rauru to get out of his head. I think she should do that more. Also, I'm looking forward to the Salt Portrayal of Sonia where Ganondorf does not get to kill her in the stupidest way possible and instead she kicks the shit out of him, as she deserves.

Anyway, what I'm saying is that all of my friends have done a great job with these characters, and I love writing with them.

End TotK spoilers.

7. Is there anything you used to like but can’t stand now?*

I've become less fond of redemption arc Ganondorf over the years.

Back in the day, Hero Dorf was all I wanted but now I've kind of fallen back in love with Villain Dorf.

I think giving Ganondorf a redemption arc or making him a good guy was a knee jerk, fandom reaction, to how unforgivably evil this guy is. in OoT he is constantly fucking things up, messing with you, and hurting people. Which fits because Ganondorf is supposed to be the character backstory for Ganon, evil pig man. Then, in Wind Waker and Twilight Princess he's just as brutal. Hell, in WW he: chokes-out Tetra, beats the crap out of Link, and back hands Tetra. He's such a stinky bastard man and I love him.

A lot of fanon has latched onto his monologue in Wind Waker as foundation for sympathy. He cared about his people; he was envious of Hyrule's prosperity. However, I think they miss a key point of the speech: which is the complete absence of the Gerudo. Ganondorf doesn't say he wants the triforce to revive the Gerudo, he says he wants the triforce so he can have Hyrule. The core of Ganondorf's character is his ambition to rule the world. Which isn't all that 3D but it is delightful to have a villain that you can truly hate. He's just a bad dude.

However, fanon has tried to course correct too hard. So, instead of Ganondorf being envious of Hyrule because he desires the power of the triforce (the actual implication of his WW monologue) it's because the King of Hyrule was stingy with the resources of Hyrule while the Gerudo squandered in the desert. Even though in OoT, until Ganondorf actively assaulted Hyrule and killed the King, the Gerudo and Hylians actually seemed to be on good terms? Of course, there's more that can be dug into and explored with the Hyrule/Gerudo relationship but...

I don't know, I don't think the solution to Ganondorf's character is to say, "see he's not evil! It's actually the Hylians who were evil!" Ganondorf 100% did things in Ocarina of Time that earned him his fate in Twilight Princess and Wind Waker. Beyond even just killing the King of Hyrule like: killing the Deku Tree, blocking the Gorons off from their food source (the implication being a famine), and making Lord Jabu-Jabu sick. And that's all before the time skip. Regardless of his motivations there is not quibbling that he does bad things.

He is a brutal, vicious man who will do whatever is necessary to get what he wants, and what he wants is power for his own purpose, even if it means hurting other, innocent people.

But, and I think a lot of the fanon misses this, that does not mean he's a villain. Which means Ganondorf can have a sympathetic backstory and sympathetic motivations, and yet, still be a complete dick about it. His end is good but his means are evil.

I think that's better than the "Ganondorf is actually good, Hyrule is actually evil" hot take and the "Ganondorf is actually just good." It keeps not just his characterization in tact but also the rest of the cast.

But I've been really loving all the Evil Dorf on my dash recently.

That's Very nice.

9. Most disliked character(s)? Why?

You know what? I don't care for Sidon.

There's nothing really interesting about him. He's just a somewhat enthusiastic fish guy that the fanon lusts over because they're all monster fuckers. There was absolutely nothing in Breath of the Wild that made me go, "wow, this is engaging me." He just drags you up to the domain so you can fix the problem for his fish people. He's not even as fun as Kaz, who is a sexy bird guy who shows up and sings for you. Like, c'mon.

I get that he has something of an arc in Tears of the Kingdom but I haven't played the game besides watching the cutscenes so I don't care about that. I do find it funny though that Nintendo specifically gave Sidon a fiance as a middle-finger to all the rabid fish fuckers in the fandom that ship Sidon with Link. It's such a moot point about whether or not Sidon has a wife, and yet, I have seen numerous posts about how pissed people are that he does.

Meanwhile, us Kaz Fuckers have always been a-okay with the wife... Kaz has two wings.

14. Unpopular opinion about your fandom?

I'm so tired of the reincarnation trope.

Sick of it. Like how when you buy a full size candy bar or a really big hamburger, it's good for the first bite-or-two, but by the end you're like, "this was too much." What I'm saying is that it has been well over a decade and the LoZ fandom is actively still using the reincarnation trope even though there is no reason to believe that it is canon, nor does it make sense with canon.

For Zelda, it makes no sense because they're all related to each other. They are all explicitly related to each other. So, are you telling me that any given Zelda is actually reincarnation of her mom/ grandma? At what point in your life do you get your mom's soul? How does this even work? Do only some Zelda's get the Zelda Soul? Isn't it way more simple to say that 'Zelda' is a character who inherits mystical powers from her bloodline?

With Link it's just... bad writing? Oh, every Link is just a reincarnation of every other Link. So, a character that has nothing explicitly special about him, who is written as the Guy who takes up the sword against evil, actually does have something special to him and is merely following fate.

With Ganondorf, it's just not there. Every Ganondorf besides TotK Ganondorf is the same Ganondorf. Then, as far as we can tell, TotK Ganondorf has nothing to do with OoT Ganondorf. They just have the same name.

My real problem is that this doesn't allow the characters to be their own characters. So, Zelda isn't Princess Zelda in a particular time-place but is the reincarnated soul of Princess Zelda from eons past who... blah, blah, blah, it's boring. Link isn't the Guy who Took Up the Sword, he's the Spirit of the Hero which will edge out the actual Guy in there and become the bland hero of whatever. Ganondorf keeps reincarnating into the Gerudo who, for some reason, keep naming their kids Ganondorf.

But what makes Zelda, Link, and Ganondorf interesting, is that each game tells its own story of that particular generation's crisis, and them overcoming evil. They are their own people, in their own time-and-place, and while the themes, stories, and archetypes repeat and are similar, they are at least still unique. When you rely so heavily on reincarnation as a trope, the story is not about today but the generations, eon spanning cycle of good-and-evil, or whatever. Anyway, the number of fanfictions I've read which completely lose all drama because of the characters bickering about their past lives is way too many and it needs to stop.

Speaking of which, I hardly even like the 'cycle' theory in the fandom anyway. Because, again, it undercuts the story of each game as being it's own, and whole stories can get consumed with this idea. The idea behind Demise's Curse is that his hatred of Zelda and Link manifests as a curse on their bloodlines, which plagues them and Hyrule. Even if you remove Zelda and Link from the equation, evil would still come to Hyrule. Because that's just how evil works. So, each generation must confront evil in their own time (you know, just how we have to in real life).

So much of the theme of Legend of Zelda is reckoning and overcoming the sins of the past. I would much rather a story where Link and Zelda must learn about the mistakes of their ancestors, and rectify them now to defeat evil, in their own time. Instead of... Link and Zelda who are reincarnations of a past Link and Zelda, getting another go at defeating the evil they failed to beat the first time.

Anyway, if I have to read, "I don't remember my past life very well," coming out of Zelda's mouth one more time in a fanfic I'm gonna lose it!

[archivedrpblog1234]

Oh, the tea is pipping hot today.

[archivedrpblog1234]

"What OTPs in the fandom do you just Not Get?" From @cyclebound Salty Ask LIst

I have never, ever, liked zelink.

I have never actively hated it but I have never liked it.

I can't easily articulate why other than it's just been a vibe check/ personal preference thing. I do think there's some deeper story implications that I want to resist but mostly it's a matter of taste.

One, it's not the type of ship I go for. I have always liked villain/hero, rival, antagonist ships. I mean for fuck sakes my top three OTPs are: Zelgan, Reylo, and Zutara. I simply have a style and that style is a.... strong, powerful woman with the guy she beat up? Yeah, I won't lie, watching Katara beat the crap out of Zuko in the Season 1 finale of AtlA then watching Rey beat the shit out of Kylo Ren in TFA, probably shaped my brain as a teenager. Just did things to me.

You know what, this is completely off topic, but I want to rant about Reylo for a bit and why the hate it receives drives me up the wall because you guys don't get it.

Okay, so first of all this scene is actually perfect. From the chemistry between Ridley and Driver, to the framing and cinematography, to the dialogue. I didn't care for their relationship before this scene. Afterwards I was fully, and completely, invested.

I think people take this ship at its face value. They see Kylo Ren as this cool, bad boy villain, dark knight, and Rey as the perfect good girl, could do no wrong. And if you do that, and you look at people who ship them, you don't understand it. You just don't understand why you would want these characters together; you only see this dynamic as abusive and manipulative. But you also completely miss why we do like it and it's fundamentally because of the interrogation scene.

Kylo Ren is a loser, he is supposed to be a loser, and that's why I fucking love his character, he sucks. Because sometimes characters have to absolutely fucking suck so you can see their growth. If you're establishing a character that fucking sucks so you can see growth, TFA did a great job. How the rest of his arc was handled is another essay, but TFA did it's job.

On the other side is Rey who is not good boy, himbo, Luke Skywalker. Rey walks into TFA with a lot of personal baggage, which makes her difficult, stubborn, and chaotic neutral at best. She has aspirations of good but she's driven by her abandonment complex. When she gets mad, she gets pissed. It's actually fascinating how the movie treats Rey's anger vs. Kylo Ren's. Kylo Ren's anger is a joke (because it's forced, farcical) and Rey's anger is a weapon (because it's genuine). Kylo Ren is a character who, for various reasons, has ended up on the dark side when he belongs on the light, and Rey, for various reasons, has ended up on the light side when she belongs in the dark. What I'm saying is that there is a very dangerous edge to Rey that the fandom can completely miss. Like, lmao, this is not Rey's first time around the block.

TFA never wants the audience to actually think Kylo Ren is cool. Sure, he's introduced as the Darth Vader expy but the movie then spends the next two hours picking him apart to reveal him as a whiny, loser boy who has lost his way underneath. (Because he's a deconstruction of Anakin/ Darth Vader but I digress). He's powerful, he's capable, and he's dangerous, but at the end of the day he's just a young man trying to fill shoes much bigger than his own feet. (Which is intriguingly played with in TLJ I might add, but that's a different essay). However, you really get to see this switch from the presentation as "cool villain" to "whiny loser" in the interrogation scene.

Because there's a way you expect this scene to go. We saw it with Poe.

Kylo Ren is going to approach the poor helpless heroine, crack open her brain like a walnut, and get what he wants, and she'll be rescued by Finn and Han in a couple scenes. Poor baby Rey, perfect cinnamon roll never did any wrong.

But by some miracle, the writers do not suck in this scene.

Instead, Kylo Ren, using all the mighty power of Skywalker digs into Rey's brain, uses what he finds against her, and starts to push his thumbs into the cracks of her weaknesses. Then, the scene shifts, it's this turn and twist in your expectations as we see Rey fight back. Kylo's hand starts the scene pushing into her space, by the end he's holding on. Rey isn't just fighting back, she's winning. Until she strikes back with that vicious revealing of his own personal fears. Kylo Ren leaves the interrogation room like a dog whipped, tail between his legs. For the rest of the movie his mask pretty much stays off and you're stuck with Adam Driver's pitiful puppy face. Rey gets out of her restraints herself.

You're left with the distinct and tantalizing sense that these two characters are equals.

A lot of people bitch and moan about how Reylo is abuse and all that. It is not, these are two characters on opposite sides of a war and they treat each other accordingly. (I mean God they're not even remotely friends until about the mid-part of the next movie). At the end of the movie Rey wounds Kylo Ren, and he spends the rest of the series with a scar on his face. They are constantly pushing and pulling, and fighting, and jostling with each other. TLJ is a brilliant showing that they can get along in the right circumstances, that these two people are not so different after all, and yet still maintains Rey's morals and boundaries. Reylo is the textbook enemy-to-lovers (the absolute shit show that was RoS aside) and yet for some bizarre reason fandom can't be normal about it.

I don't think most people want enemies-to-lovers. I mean real enemies-to-lovers. Because they assume that just because these characters are fighting, hurting each other, and acting like, well, enemies, that must be abuse! But the point of enemies-to-lovers is not just redemption arcs but forgiveness. If you don't think forgiveness is possible, even in very extreme cases, then enemies-to-lovers is not for you. For some reason people claim they love enemies-to-lovers and yet act like clowns when characters, lmao, actually act like enemies.

Critically, at the same time, is the power balance. Enemies-to-lovers does not happen in a power imbalance, or not one that lasts. So, Zutara only works because by the end of the first season, Katara demonstrates that she can 100% kick Zuko's ass. It's the same thing with Reylo, but the end of TFA, Rey can kick Kylo Ren's ass. These are not characters that are helpless cinnamon rolls who are being taken advantage of. They're competent characters with agency and both Rey and Katara strike boundaries when they're bad boy boyfriends act up. It's honestly more insulting when people act like Rey and Katara are victims instead of, say, you know, competent characters with agency. What I'm saying is that abuse occurs in: an established, personal, intimate relationship with a power imbalance. Enemies-to-lovers is fundamentally not that. Reylo is not that, Zutara is not that, Zelgan is not that.

And that's why I like Zelgan over Zelink.

To me, a big part of the fun of shipping is playing with the power balance. I want characters that will push and pull at each other, argue over things of substances (personal beliefs, experiences, philosophy), and be willing to stand up for what they believe in. At the same time, have that constant dynamic growth of redemption and forgiveness. It is not just the 'bad guy' who changes but also the 'good guy.' To me, it's about these two characters who believe they are fundamentally opposites realizing that they are not. A good guy sees their shadow, a bad guy sees their light. It scares the shit out of both of them.

All of which Zelgan offers in spades, if done right.

That's the key thing, done right. Lots of writers like enemies-to-lovers and dark romances with villains but do not understand how key the power balance is. At no point do I want to feel like the 'hero' (usually female) is a weak idiot, they have to have something as a leverage point. Because those 'interrogation scenes' where the power balances switches are brilliant, like stand out of your seat and cheer, and weep for joy, brilliant.

The problem I have always had with Zelink, however, in fact is the power balance. Because the dynamic, both in fanon has always hinged on the day that Link will do anything, go anywhere, be anything, just to save Zelda. He's the Knight in Shinning Armor, with all the sexist chivalry baggage that comes along with it. He's the one who saves Zelda. Even if games like OoT, ST, TP, etc., don't lean into that dynamic at all, recent once definitely have, and lmao, I hate it. Because it makes Zelda an object, passive, someone who needs to be saved, and helped.

The only time I have ever liked Zelink is in ST. That's the one game that really convinced me that they're not only friends but also trust each other and are on equal terms as partners.

Otherwise, it's too vanilla.

[archivedrpblog1234]

3, 7, & 12 for the salty ask :3 From @almryan Salty Ask LIst

3. Have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion?

There's two fandom opinions, in two different fandoms, that I will actively avoid.

One, in Kingdom Hearts, I do not write Sea Salt Family. If you don't know what this is, I will very uncharitably describe it as setting-up two children in a familial/ adoptive situation with their canon abusers. I write one of those kids (@asteraex) and I have never been able to successfully write her with either of those adult characters (Lea and Isa). Simply put, if I encounter a Lea/Isa blog I will actively curate their opinions on Sea Salt Family. Because like, the other option is to try to write with someone who will go out of their way to justify the emotional/ physical abuse of children.

(Ah, yes, loved the time when one mun, said to me, a victim of emotional abuse that what Xion went through, "wasn't that bad." Like, bro she died.)

Although, I've said it before, and I've said it again. Sea Salt Family is possible, you just have to put in the proper work (that wasn't done in canon mind you). I have never had a partner willing or capable to put in the work. So, it has never happened.

Two, this hasn't been a 'problem,' but it's something I've been actively curating because I've seen a couple blogs doing this: I will not write with an OoT Sheik/Zelda that does not consider them the same character.

I have always hated this trope in the fandom and I won't play with it in RP. It's 2023, the princess in a pink dress can also be the ninja in blue armor, get over yourselves. Your gender fluid OoT Zelda is super valid (I'm honestly of the agender! Zelda camp? Like she doesn't care, gender isn't real :/). I'm talking about the Sheik(s) that are written as separate characters, or the brain-dead manga take that Zelda's consciousness was sealed away in a 'Sheikah Boy.'

OoT Zelda is an awesome character. She is introduced as a young girl who has suffered nightmares about the fate of Hyrule. She sends Link to gather the Spiritual Stones and enables him to open the Temple of Time. Only to realize that this is what Ganondorf wanted all along and directly cause the very fate she attempted to cause. Now, she must wait seven years in a ruined, suffering Hyrule. When Link awakes, she appears to him exclusively as not herself, a Sheikah Warrior, she cannot even be honest with him because of the danger. (I also love Link's increasing desperations to get close to her, only for her to back away... just UGH it's so much). Finally, at the end of the game, she corrects her mistake by sending Link back in time... but she must rebuild Hyrule, alone.

There's an incredible tragedy to this arc and Sheik is such an awesome way to explore her shame, suffering, and pain. Sheik is constantly talking about time, what we lose and gain through time, its effects, its power. Which makes sense when you realize Sheik is Zelda, who has waited for Hyrule's only hope for seven years. When Sheik talks about the fondness of childhood memories, how friendship and love grows over time, etc., that is Zelda reminiscing about what she has lost. Listen to Sheik and hear Zelda's words, and you'll get it.

Now, what if we take all that powerful agency, theme, development, and character...

And give it to another character, usually a male one.

Okay, so you can see why I hate this, right? Basically, if you write OoT Zelda as not Sheik you take out half her scenes, half her development, and all of her impact. If you seal away her consciousness, or whatever, you lose her agency. And even more insulting, you take everything great about her, and hand it over to a male character.

It's just... Yeah, no. I don't think canon supports it and I don't think fanon should support it.

7. Is there anything you used to like but can’t stand now?*

I actually really enjoyed Breath of the Wild when I first got it. I played through the entire thing over the Christmas of 2019, got all the Divine Beasts, did all the shrines, obtained a shit tone of koroks, etc. It was just fantastic. Exploring the world, getting into fights with lynels, and figuring out all the shrine puzzles, I mean it was just peak gaming experience for me. However, the problem with Breath of the Wild is that it ages, over time, as a gaming experience, extremely poorly. It has almost no replay value.

Back in the day I would replay the final boss of Spirit Tracks and Twilight Princess, just for the experience of it. The music, the atmosphere, the characters, the fights, it was all just awesome. I do not give a shit about the Breath of the Wild final boss. Like, not only is it piss easy but it holds so little narrative weight that it's just a puff of air. Calamity Ganon as an enemy is nothing.

Then you realize that: if you do one divine beats, complete a couple shrines, and find a few korok seeds... you have experienced the full breath of the game. The world looks cool but it's pretty... empty. That's just a tree, there's a million other trees, waterfalls, and rocks in this game. In past games Hyrule was a more curated, intense experience, the devs seems to be always so careful in how they shape the environment and the experience it gives. Never mind that because of the open world, ultimate player freedom format, there are so many experience that you can just skip or avoid or break. Breath of the Wild is just big, Hyrule has always been big, they've made it bigger with each new generation, but Breath of the Wild is just big.

The fact of the matter is that Breath of the Wild lacks the narrative punch, the depth of experience, and the characters to make me want to go back to it. In addition, things like the Master Mode just ruin the pace of the game as you spend up to ten minutes just trying to kill one god damn enemy.

The realization that Tears of the Kingdom would keep the shrine system and I would have to do 150 more of those sons of bitches, is 100% why I will not play that game. I think, "I could get Tears of the Kingdom... but 150 shrines." And that ends the debate in my head.

12. Is there an unpopular arc that you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why?

The fandom has fallen over itself for Breath of the Wild Zelda, and I have.... always hated her. lmao. Even before I really figured out how to articulate my hatred, I hated her. She just does not feel like the Princess Zelda I fell in love with as a kid.

Part of it is her terrible voice acting, and part of it is that I just do not like how the modern Zelda Team has written her character. I didn't like her in Skyward Sword as Link's best friend/ romantic interest that he spends the whole game trying to find and save. I didn't like her in Breath of the Wild because she spends the whole game bitching and moaning about how sad she is. They've taken the Bow of Light from her, they've taken her actual spunk and sass, and they've taken the depth of her character.

I think people like her because she feels more approachable as a character (as opposed to TP and OoT Zelda). She smiles for the camera! She's funny and quirky! A nerd like me! Oh, she's sad :<. Instead it all has the depth of a kiddie pool that's been half drained of water. She's easier to swallow, easier to accept, but in reality, there's no substance here. Just another waifu.

I think at the heart of it is that the modern Zelda Team writes Zelda as an exceedingly passive because they want her to be Link's love interest. Which hinges straight into the stereotype of her character. That she is passive and Link's love interest, neither of which have been really true in the 3D games until... Skyward Sword. Thank you, Fujibayashi for ruining my favorite video game character.

[gsut-deactivated20190504]

Salty Ask List

What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?*

Are there any popular fandom OTPs you only BroTP?*

Have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion?

Do you have a NoTP in your fandom? Are they a popular OTP?*

Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?*

Has fandom ever made you enjoy a pairing you previously hated?*

Is there anything you used to like but can’t stand now?*

Have you received anon hate? What about?*

Most disliked character(s)? Why?

Most disliked arc? Why?

Is there an unpopular character you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why?

Is there an unpopular arc that you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why?

Unpopular opinion about XXX character?

Unpopular opinion about your fandom?

Unpopular opinion about the manga/show?

If you could change anything in the show, what would you change?

Instead of XYZ happening, I would have made ABC happen…

Does not shipping something ‘popular’ mean you’re in denial and/or biased?

What is the one thing you hate most about your fandom?

What is the purest ship in the fandom?

What are your thoughts on crack ships?

Popular character you hate?

Unpopular character you love?

Would you recommend XXX to a friend? Why or why not?

How would you end XXX/Would you change the ending of XXX?

Most shippable character?

Least shippable character?

*several of these questions are taken from a list that was not rebloggable

[mcflymemes]

PROMPTS FOR CONFRONTATIONS & ARGUMENTS *  assorted dialogue, adjust as necessary

how long have you known? and you never told me?

i'm not going to take this anymore.

tell me the truth or i swear to god...

you owe me!

you're not listening!

i saved your life, and this is how you thank me?

when were you going to tell me the truth?

you made me look like a fool out there!

i don't have to put up with this.

good fucking riddance.

you'll never see me again.

do you hear yourself?

i was your only friend.

i never loved you.

get out and stay out.

that was incredibly rude of you.

are you fucking serious?

you're lying!

i'm not dealing with this today.

you think you're so perfect.

is this what you want?

keep lying to yourself.

don't let the door hit you on the way out.

i never should have trusted you.

this is all your fault! don't put this on me!

you see what happens when you don't listen to me?

you're unbelievable.

cut it out!

you're doing this to annoy me.

that's nice. real mature of you.

they're dead because of you!

get the hell away from me.

i'm leaving in the morning.

you think you're so great.

would you just listen to me for two seconds?

i said i would help you!

what part of that do you not understand?

you're so stupid.

i wasn't finished speaking.

are you going to interrupt me again?

i can't believe i wasted my life on you.

this wasn't supposed to happen.

i never should have believed you.

you led me on for nothing.

this is the thanks i get?

every time i try to help, you just push me away!

then fine! i'm leaving!

is that what you want? is that what you really want?

we could have made this work if you actually tried!

you don't care about me. you don't care about anything but yourself.

i never want to see you again.

i swear to god, if you take one more step...

burn in hell.

you broke my heart.

we're supposed to be a team!

what are you trying to prove?

i didn't mean for this to happen!

you're not capable of handling this alone! you need to rely on other people!

look around! this is all your fault!

if you would just get your head out of your ass...

i wasn't finished.

knock it off!

you sicken me.

sorry to disappoint.

you're a fucking nightmare to work with.

i'm tired of your bullshit.

you treat me like shit.

you could have stopped this!

you can't just run off like that!

i thought i told you to stay here!

i was wrong about you.

and here i thought i could trust you.

they warned me you were hard to work with.

would you just leave me alone?

we're not doing this here.

just shut up!

you thought wrong.

you're making a huge mistake.

get off me!

i'm sick and tired of this.

[teardownheaven]

The office is more of a closet. A spacious one, maybe, but there's barely room for the cheap desk and lone filing cabinet. The lone lightbulb hangs from a string next to its pull cord, and the door doesn't even have a window; he had to put up his own door plate, a couple of pieces of masking tape he wrote on in black sharpie, and a sign underneath that he could flip to show if he was available.

The Instructor is In.

It's supposed to be temporary. Supposedly, if the program works out and he's kept on rather than returned to the SAS, he'll have a proper office space next year.

He suspects it's actually a snub of sorts. A show of displeasure from the empowered faculty. Most of them don't like him for one reason or another, and he's fine with that. Kyle doesn't like most of them either.

Joke's on them, though, this space doesn't even rank in his top ten worst and he doesn't have to share. It might as well be paradise compared to some of the facilities he's had to put up with. He thinks he's settled in nicely, too; turned a cramped space into something comfortable with a few select decorations, candid pictures of friends and glamor-shots of his pets tacked to his cork board. There's a football club-themed daily calendar up next to a much larger year planner, and he's managed to find a small coffee machine that's currently percolating away on top of the filing cabinet.

Now if only he could find more comfortable chairs.

Ash's knock is soft, and Kyle folds his hands behind his back as he calls for her to come in. She looks like she'd rather be anywhere else, or like she's walking to her own execution, and he has to turn away to fuss with the coffee maker for a moment. He can't expect her to be happy, but seeing her already defeated like this isn't easy. Thankfully he's able to compose himself in the time it takes to pour a cup of coffee, sitting down with it once he trusts himself to stay composed.

He wears his heart on his sleeve and it shows on his face, unfortunately. He doesn't want her to think he's mad at her.

"I've got a couple." He claims with confidence she probably doesn't believe, and sips coffee out of the bright new ceramic mug. "Before we proceed, though, I want to make sure they're appropriate for the situation..."

He doubts Ash really wants to talk to him about this, but he needs to hear it from her. He's looked into the girl, of course. Initially, he tried to find information through civilian channels out of respect and found nothing. Kyle had gone to Medulla after that, just for an explanation on how her power worked when more conventional research failed again, and got an hour-long lecture on Teleportation-class powers in general for his trouble; it was informative, he has a stack of notes to prove that, but all the physics equations in the world can't explain why she's scared of herself.

Kyle's expression sobers, concern taking over from confidence, and he clasps both hands around his mug.

"Ash, did someone get hurt because of your power?"

[archivedrpblog1234]

It was a broom closet. Instructor Garric had a broom closet for an office. Complete with an incandescent light bulb. Which honestly, he was probably doing better than Mister Boy who, as far as Ash knew, didn't even have an office. She didn't know if it was reassuring or not that the faculty with lame powers got just as much disrespect as the student body with lame powers. At least the adults were being bullied as much as the kids!

There was a picture on the far wall that featured two men in terrible lighting, like a flash had just gone off in a night club, wearing neon feather boas, and heart-shaped sunglasses. One of the men, the one with a mohawk, had his arm thrown around the other's shoulders. As Ash stared, she realized that one of the men was Instructor Garrick. The other photos were normal, family, friends, a yearbook photo of him in uniform, nothing untold besides a weird number of fish pictures. None of the images gave all too much away about him besides what Ash could already extrapolate about his personality from his behavior. The lack of obvious romantic wedding pictures implied the man was probably single, at least.

Once Instructor Garrick had settled into his chair though, her attentions focused on the man proper. For how much Ash was trusting him, she really didn't know a lot about him. LIke, if he had powers or not, or what power if he did. His demeanor (and hair cut), disciplined, confident, yet firm, betrayed military, and the regiment of his training implied something beyond grunt work. But he was nice, and reasonable, and seemingly competent in a way that the quirky staff of Sky High simply was not.

And beggars could not be choosers.

Ash settled back in her chair. Her hands sunk into her hoodie pockets, eyes skirting off to the side. For a second, she tried to figure-out a way to worm out of this conversation. She could just walk off and leave. But then that left her in the greasy, abusive clutches of Coach Boomer and... beggars can't be choosers. She tilted her head back and sighed, gathering her thoughts to something coherent.

"Yeah, me," Ash grunted, gaze flicking back to Instructor Garrick. "I used to knit."

Show-and-tell, what did you bring to class?

Oh, the physical evidence of the one-time Ash teleported a knitting needle into her arm. A real bullseye too, straight through the bone. All the doctors had to do fix her ginormous fuck up was give her a bone graft, insert a metal rod in her arm, sew all the shattered fragments back together with plates and screws. In addition, the cast for a humerus— the name for the long, upper arm bone, as Ash was all too familiar with now — was awkward, unwieldy, and uncomfortable. On the bright side she was now ambidextrous. Nothing like sudden traumatic injuries to broaden one's horizons! And that was before they had to do surgery to take the god damn bar back out.

She didn't want to talk about toddling into her mother's bedroom, covered in her own blood and hyped-up on enough adrenaline that a knitting needle inserted into her limb felt like a bee sting. There weren't words for that. At least, not ones that Ash could string together in a way that was coherent or kept what little was left of her sanity.

Instead, she yanked off her hoodie and tossed it to the floor. Ash sat on the edge of the seat as she lifted her right arm. She pulled her t-shirt sleeve over her shoulder and turned-out her wrist to reveal the scar.

The inside of Ash's bicep was a gnarly mass of thin scar tissue that stretched almost six inches down her arm. Some of it was the needle, some of it was the sutures, and surgeries. The skin was still pink and inflamed. Then, to continue to the presentation, she pulled her arm across her chest and showed-off the other side. The white knot of scar tissue just above her elbow where the needle had exited. Ash rolled her sleeve back down.

And she sat back in the chair.

There wasn't much to explain. The scar spoke for itself, and Ash had no desire to verbally relieve that particular trip to the hospital.

[archivedrpblog1234]

So, I'm thinking of romance novels in Gerudo literature. The bad ones. Not the deep, spiritual, and intimate poems with elegant rhyming schemes. Those exist. They're beautiful. But that's not what we're talking about. I'm talking about the specific genre of Gerudo lit those deals with the romanticizing allure of meeting a dreamy Hylian man and falling in love.

It hits a very particular spot in the cultural psyche of a lot of Gerudo women, mostly because it's very relatable. You see, when a Gerudo Woman comes of age, she leaves home for the first time to explore Hyrule and the world. You're mainly supposed to find a trade, learn about other cultures and customs, and return more worldly. Yet, there is also an expectation, and hope, that you'll find love. And it's to that hope that these novels speak.

Of course, there's no stigma against same-sex relationships among the Gerudo and plenty of Gerudo women settle with other Gerudo women. However, many young girls idealize, or at least, are curious about the opposite-sex, which many of them have never even met prior to their journeys. So, for young girls the genre feeds their curiosity, their allure for adventure, and addresses their anxieties about finally meeting men. Then, for older women, who have long since come home but are still nostalgic for the old days, it lets them relieve their youth.

The plot of the novels are all very similar. A young Gerudo woman ventures out from her village for the first time. At some point on her travels, she meets a handsome Hylian (most often a man but there's a market for other genders, and even Zora, Goron, Rito, etc.), drama and hijinks ensue, the pair fall in love, and settle down, whether in the desert or beyond. A good chunk of the stories range from innocent to steamy to down right raunchy.

The actual quality varies. Some authors have actually researched and experienced the material they cover, namely, Hyrule itself. A non-insignificant number have never even left the desert. Thus historical, geographical, biological, and cultural details can be wildly incorrect.

Common plots include:

A young warrior rescues a prince from a fire-breathing dragon (or other monster) and carries him, bridal style, back to his castle where they are promptly, and romantically married. Plots like this can also include the warrior winning the prince's favor by defeating various monsters. The wedding cake gets at least three paragraphs of description.

While wandering through the fields of Hyrule, a young warrior is stranded in the rain. She seeks shelter in a barn where she convenes with a handsome Hylian farm boy. Great detail is paid to describing his muscles which have been earned from years of work. Drama may include the disapproval of his family. Several of these novels actually include the young farm hand secretly turning into a wolfo at night, adding increasing scandal. The two usually end up running away together.

Political intrigue novels have the young Gerudo woman enter the court of a Hylian Lord or even Hyrule Castle itself. There the woman impresses the prince/king/lord with her sharp wit, martial prowess, and strength. Usually includes her winning some kind of tournament. Lavish attention is given to the romantic leads clothes, food, and living spaces. Often includes incredibly steamy, sensual sex scenes.

A Gerudo Warrior is brought into an arranged marriage with a Hylian Lord or Prince. The two initially oppose their engagement but soon find themselves falling in love. Especially after she rescues him from a Molduga, or Lynel, or a dragon. Although she is quite caustic to him, he is allured by her confidence, and eventually, they confess their mutual affections.

Ironically, because of the matriarchal nature of Hyrule's society many Hylian men are not at all adverse to these stories... and thus, there is a significant market for these books beyond the desert itself. Some Hylian women deride them for espousing stereotypical gender roles.