hbo’s avenue 5 season 1 sentence starters
change tenses/pronouns as needed !! some lines have been edited for clarity / length / ease of roleplaying
tw ; alcohol mention , nsfw , language , death , mental health
‘I only ever sing when I’m drunk … so ask me again at 5 pm.’
‘hey, set your phasers to fun.’
‘I like to see folk take pride in their work, even if some might call that work ‘menial.’ not me, though, I value your labor.’
‘I would love to disperse your irritation.’
‘I think it’s the sarcasm alarm.’
‘unfortunately, I am still fully conscious.’
‘sorry to bother you but it’s my job.’
‘that sounds rude, I meant it to be self - deprecating.’
‘we all have a cool story to tell our therapists and chiropractors.’
‘I wish we were in separate rooms and I hate being alone!’
‘hey, dial it down! I’m the one who gets to be mad!’
‘you don’t patronize me by telling me not to be patronized, okay?’
‘I’m sorry, I’ve immediately forgotten what you just said.’
‘well, I’ve just mixed us a cocktail of ‘keep calm and suck my balls’.
‘you’re way less annoying than you were thirty seconds ago.’
‘I have had enough of your tall attitude and your high mouth.’
‘a problem is just a solution without a solution.’
‘this is a designated good news area, no downers, no frowners.’
‘we are way beyond rekindling, (name). my heart is not a barbeque!’
‘there may be some more bad news, or, as I’m learning to call it, news.’
‘sleeping on the floor is not as comfy as dogs make it look.’
‘you’ve been a wild kind of useless.’
‘is this what depression looks like, (name)? because if so, get that stuff away from me.’
‘you’re like santa clause with a sack full of shit.’
‘I’m not fluent in facial expressions.’
‘what’s going on in here? smells tense.’
‘I’d close your mouth because it’s not a joke.’
‘I don’t like being unhappy. I just don’t.’
‘how do you accidentally kiss someone’s neck?’
‘I’m laughing because I’m terrified.’
‘if it’s any consolation, I hate me.’
‘I say a lot of things that are shit.’
‘you should never speak to human beings.’
‘don’t get hung up on results. the journey is the destination.’
‘you’re just saying that because I told you to, aren’t you?’
‘if anyone needs to freak out, this is a safe space. emotionally. physically, we’re all in terrible danger.’
‘i’d always hoped that my last words might be better than ‘fuck me, no.’’
‘all I got from that was ‘you’re going to die out here.’‘
‘I haven’t got it. help me more.’
‘why the fuck did I say that?’
‘it was true when I said it. like a marriage vow.’
‘I’ll have another shot of water, please.’
‘I usually don’t drink because it makes me blunt and opinionated.’
‘was your oxygen restricted in your early developmental years?’
‘don’t ever, ever show anyone your feelings. just bury them as deep as you can.’
‘you’re not a happy drunk.’
‘calm … and I cannot express this enough … the fuck down!’
‘that was wrong! hot, but wrong!’
‘I think everything will be okay if we just stick together.’
‘two options. one, murder. and two, and I know I keep looping back to this … murder.’
‘you should prepare to enjoy your last moments of happiness.’
‘my thoughts connect instantaneously with my mouth. it’s extremely efficient.’
‘I never say sorry. like my hero, gandhi.’
‘I thought I was calm, but I am not fucking calm! I don’t wanna die!’
‘I have been in such a dark place.’
‘you like babies so much you wanna be one?’
‘I’ve gone through a period of serious introspection since last night.’
‘don’t talk and you’ll last marginally longer.’
‘I do know suffering, and you’re suffering.’
‘if you have to be passive aggressive, do it only with your eyes.’
‘you have to think before you speak. and then, think again.’
‘this part of the nightmare is over.’
‘that’s just someone that I’m not scared of.’
‘that was really bad. we need to work on your comebacks.’
‘you can do this, because quite frankly, you have to.’
‘I could hug you, but neither one of us wants that.’
‘why are you acting like a little foster child with a secret?’
‘it was insanely funny. I was just laughing on the inside.’
‘am I about to get whacked?’
‘this is an intervention.’
‘lets climb down from a place of anger.’
‘back off, buddy, or you will feel my wraith. and I am fire. literally fire.’
‘I’m as mad as a fucking bear.’
‘you can’t do that because you’ll die.’
‘I don’t know why you think you’re right and I am wrong.’
‘don’t be as stupid as your face.’
‘you can’t just save my life. you gotta make it about you.’
‘you’re so cute when you’re lying.’
‘it’s not not your fault.’
‘there’s plenty of blame to go around. we are all going to get a slice.’
‘I’m not very good at this, and you know that, but let’s just pretend that I am.’
‘my decision to make a quick decision was itself a bad decision.’
‘I have the decision-making powers of a pigeon trapped in a library.’
‘every room you’re in ripples with tension.’
‘why do I keep thinking i’m clever? I’m not. on a good day I’m barely not stupid.’
‘I’m not clever but I look as though I should be.’
‘we’re all hiding. I’m hiding. you’re hiding…’
‘poor octopus. eight arms, but no hands. fuck you, god.’
‘violence is never the solution.’
‘I have never been more attracted to you than right now.’
‘my patience has snapped like a 200-year-old breadstick!’
‘I don’t mean to be impolite but shut your pie-hole.’
‘you know that thing you do where you act sarcastic so we all feel sorry for you? it works. we do.’
‘I related to you because you always fell short.’
‘I feel like I’m dying and my teeth are falling out.’
‘you were like a coworker to me.’
‘this has been a horrible day.’
