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"Do you think God stays in heaven because he too, lives in fear of what he's created?" - Dr. Romero, spy kids 2

[tragbarerpanzrabwehrkomplexfagot]

[speedlimit15]

When youre a kid youre like wtf adults are making themselves sick with poisons and when youre an adult youre like i need more poisons ASAP

[frogmoss1]

me: *trying to take my socks off but they keep getting stuck on my heel* oh fuck. goddamnit.

the extractor fan in a bathroom in Norway that has an intrinsic link to my spirit: *momentarily whirs louder*

[billyshakesqueer]

5 original posts remain

[eroscestlavie]

lesbian texting their straight guy friends: it genuinely worries me that people are going to start with Vineland and get turned off to Pynchon forever. it’s not even that challenging but it’s like…others from him are so superior in basically every way?? this happened with Inherent Vice too like ok let’s all KILL OURSELVES

lesbian texting their bisexual guy friends: Omg hiii I actually do not know anyone who would be a good fit to run in bar marketing for the doritos infused tequila but thank you for thinking of me!! Are you still doing the MFA???

lesbian texting their gay guy friends: Of COURSE you can have my french onion soup recipe. Don’t worry.

lesbian texting their straight girl friends: that hang was sooo needed. genuinely think this is going to be your year 🫶 seriously I mean it.

lesbian texting their bisexual girl friends: I know. I feel the same way—that this is the year my father’s corpse, which I drag with me on my back every winter, finally stops keeping me warm.

lesbian texting their lesbian girl friends: do you think Tim Roth from Reservoir Dogs is a woman

[wizardarchetypes]

i went into the tattoo parlor and i was like ‘i scheduled a piercing’ and they were like ‘piercing’s are upstairs’ so i went up the stairs and there was a barber shop and i said i’d scheduled a piercing and they said ‘upstairs’ so i went up the stairs and there was a second tattoo shop and it was rly classic trad with two cartoon buff guys and they didn’t even let me talk, they said, ‘upstairs’ before i asked and then i went to the fourth floor and it was one single room the size of a closet with the piercer and the apprentice in the doorway like 👫🙂🙂

[partingglances1986]

If you enjoyed this book you should read every other book in the world for extra textual context. All things are intricately related to one another.

[imp]

tumblr on the computer is actually so transcendent i feel that very few understand this anymore... this was the way that your ancestors blogged.

[sandersstudies]

I need to start having sit-down talks with parents about how they’re ruining their child’s emotional state. When their child encounters a situation that is maybe frustrating or disappointing the parents choose to spend all their time fighting the situation instead of sitting down with their kid and teaching them how to deal with frustration and disappointment.

[sandersstudies]

Kid: I’m really disappointed I got a C on my test. :(

Healthy Parent: I understand why you feel disappointed. It’s difficult to learn to face frustrations like this. But a C is not too bad! I’m sure you did the best you could at that time. For next time, let’s talk together about this class, and see if you need to spend more time studying, or some help from me or the teacher. Just remember that even when you feel disappointed, no matter what, I love you very much. :)

Kid: I’m really disappointed I got a C on my test. :(

Some Parents????: don’t worry sweetie daddy is off to send a strongly worded email goodbye

[beardedmrbean]

[giliisnotcreative]

@i-like-reblog-maps I heard you like large maps ^⁠_⁠^

[i-like-reblog-maps]

what the fuck

that thing is eldritch

acquired a dark mode version just to see what it’d look like. oh my god. this map is gorgeous

i have never seen a hub that large. i’m?? stunned

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Didn't realise it was a reblog map at first,thought somebody was drawing the visual effect that accompanies casting Testicular Torsion.

[venom-princess-deactivated20250]

[notebooks-and-laptops]

Something terrifying about the way censorship is just straight up happening right now and they're barely trying to pretend that isn't what it is. The UK rolling out the Online Safety Act which forces anyone accessing 'adult' content (including discord, LGBT+ forums, various resources for drug addicts etc.) to share their face and ID with American third party companies, and refusing to debate a repeal in parliament despite 300,000 signatures on their own website to do so. Something fishy going on with Google docs suddenly deleting/restricting content. Itchio and Steam suddenly deleting 18+ games including both porn games and horror games at the behest of Mastercard.

Like. Truly in the past month the censorship is hitting like a truck and we're all just supposed to be fine with it. Like. It's genuinely making me feel sick.

[homoqueerjewhobbit]

The people who think libraries throwing out outdated books is the same as bookburning are oddly silent about this mass, government mandated censorship.

[wizardarchetypes]

I think it's so unfair that we lose our baby teeth when we're so young. back then i didn't appreciate it. like my teeth were just falling out of my head and then i grew new ones. wild. that should happen again and i should get Adult Teeth 2.

[furryprovocateur]

i havent the faggiest idea what youre talking about

[ostolero]

young old person tip for you all. go get some photos printed (pauses so someone can say bogos binted) and fill out a physical album

[redstonedust]

"tumblr humor is only funny to tumblr users" NOT true. those bitches on pinterest love us.

[thoughtsickles]

people in books and tv shows are always getting so upset they throw an untouched meal in the trash. that would never be me. i'd receive the worst news of my life and still be like Let me put this in the fridge.

[kosmogrl]