Jacob Heart

[youralicekingsley]

I should hope not. I’d be very disappointed.

No, it wasn’t, but you’re sweet to laugh anyway. Oh, consider it a gift, no royalties necessary. Spread the faux-laughter in your neck of the woods. From my experience, it’s not so jolly over there.

[areyouheartless]

Me disappoint? You of all people? Never.

Thank you. It's very sweet, but I cannot promise it won't become the biggest joke told amongst my side of town and when that happens and I get all the credit, you'll have to excuse my greater ego and lack of humility. But yes, maybe my neck of the woods does need a bit of laughter, fake or not.

[bensmaxwell-deactivated20140703]

  Although you’re probably high, you’re definitely profound.

[areyouheartless]

Wait, I'm high?

[diamond-char]

Stop being so dramatic, Jacob. We can both be witty, and since we all know you get your wit and charm from my side of the family, you really shouldn’t disrespect your elders by getting so cocky with them.

Well, it helps that I live up to my title. But you’re right. My ego does increase with anything—positive or negative. And while sharing your stash does steadily increase the level of said ego, it’s not growing at exponential rates, don’t worry.

[areyouheartless]

My theatrical dramatization of life is the only motivation I have as of late. And are you truly my elder or are you just a mere figment of my imagination, struck down to save my soul from eternal damnation and my mother.

Good, I hate exponential growth rates.

[youralicekingsley]

  Are you? Well that’s a very big promise, Jacob Heart, and I should hope you’re not the kind to make empty promises. I’ll be expecting your best joke as soon as you’ve thought it up.

A joke. Get it?

God, okay, I’m sorry - that wasn’t funny.

[areyouheartless]

I would never dare such a thing.

No, I get it, that was funny. I'll have to use that sometime. With given royalties to yourself of course.

[tigerxheart]

I'm so zonked, someone kill me.

[tigerxheart]

  Then how come we keep bumping into eachother, hm?

[areyouheartless]

Because life is much more of a nightmare than a dream.

[tigerxheart]

I'm so zonked, someone kill me.

[tigerxheart]

  Please, you wish I cared about your opinion.

[areyouheartless]

If I had three wishes, that would not be one of them.

[tigerxheart]

I'm so zonked, someone kill me.

[tigerxheart]

  Why, is it bothering you?

[areyouheartless]

Not as much as you'd like.

[tigerxheart]

I'm so zonked, someone kill me.

[tigerxheart]

Don’t you have people to do that for you, Heart?

[areyouheartless]

Don't you ever shut up with the wit and snark?

[evelyn-diamond-deactivated20140]

  Do I really need to tell you?

Again, the conversation is divided in two. About weaknesses, maybe I am taking to you a little lightly and I need to know more about you. The only thing you need to know, now, is you are young. That means you need to learn a lot, even if you know a lot now, you always need to learn to have a success on everything.

Now, the last sounds like an offer. Do you know the place? The business? Then, we are not having only a conversation about life. We are having… mmm… how to call it… information exchange? No. Sounds like a transaction. I really need to listen about what you don’t talk about but you really know.

[areyouheartless]

Suppose not.

I am young and you are old. Perks to both, no?

Can't we just call our conversation some good ol'fashioned family bonding? I'm your grandson and you're my Grammy and if we decide to discuss family secrets, we don't have to call it a transaction.

[tigerxheart]

I'm so zonked, someone kill me.

[tigerxheart]

  Don’t you have people to be killing?

[areyouheartless]

Told you, I don't have a mop. Can't kill people without a way to clean up after 'em.

[tigerxheart]

I'm so zonked, someone kill me.

[tigerxheart]

  Aw no, what a shame that is.

[areyouheartless]

Don't you have people to be sleeping with?

[youralicekingsley]

Hello, Jacob.

Oh!

That’s an excellent one, I haven’t heard that before! Here, here — I can be cracked, I can be made. I can be told, I can be played. What am I?

[areyouheartless]

It's excellent? I mean, of course it's excellent. I'm an excellent riddler and a jokester to boot. 

I was going to say egg, but the last two got me. Spill your secrets.

[tigerxheart]

I'm so zonked, someone kill me.

[areyouheartless]

Gladly, but I haven't a mop to clean up after the mess, so maybe tomorrow.

[allison-spade-deactivated201407]

"No I don’t want to hear it," Allison agreed, turning her face back to the sky, waiting for her insides to turn to goo. "Your cheeks are turning pink though. If you want, I’d gladly invite you over and then casually stand you up and you can hang around Alice all you want.”

[areyouheartless]

Jacob shook his head, not making much of a show as it was still set firmly on the ground, but still he shook it back and fourth. "Like I could be seen over there without a million and a half questions, none of which I'd like to answer with: Allison agreed to invite me over, then stand me up so I could maybe catch a glimpse of Alice." He turned to face his cousin, knowing he needed to change the subject, "You feeling it yet?"

[clairebdoll]

I don't know if I slept or worked more this week.

[clairebdoll]

  I do believe a lady is entitled to her secrets, right? Besides, you have things to worry about that does not include my itinerary.

[areyouheartless]

Touché. However, I enjoy dismissing my worries for trivial things, such as your schedule, so I'd ask you to divulge the dirty details, but you seem hell bent on secluding them.

[allison-spade-deactivated201407]

  "Well I haven’t heard any gossip lately. I’ve become a sort of pariah because I’m not fawning over little Alice like the rest of Wonderland seems to be," Allison retorted, rolling her eyes up at the sky. She turned her head, gazing upon her cousin’s profile. "Then again, you’re practically in love with her, aren’t you?"

[areyouheartless]

"I'm sorry for your unfortunate circumstances with Alice, and I would hate to, actually no, I love being self centered, but anyways, I just...I'm not in love with her. I just think she's well, she's Alice. I find it hard not to be at least slightly intrigued by her and her spirit and you don't want to hear this." Jacob fumbled over words, his cheeks turning slightly pink at the idea of his affection being so obvious.

[youralicekingsley]

  And when it’s excited, does it jump two?

[areyouheartless]

Alice. Hey. 

Actually it only gets excited when it's one.