These crashes

Charlotte Diamond. 29. I don't take sides. "We've all lost something along the way."

[ojwilde]

[diamond-char]

Valentine's day, huh?

[tigerxheart]

Amen to that.

[diamond-char]

Single's awareness day is the best day on earth in my opinion. A bunch of sappy guys just looking for some sappy sex.

[diamond-char]

Valentine's day, huh?

So another excuse to get shit faced? I love the holidays,

[diamond-char]

Text // Char

Jabba: Being whiny never got you anywhere in any kind of situation.

Char: I'm not being whiny. I was trying to be polite, but apparently that doesn't work either.

[tigerxheart]

Oh dude, go to the doctors and get some drugs, they make everything better.

[diamond-char]

Their drugs don't make you happy though. They give you yeast infections. I might. If it gets any worse.

[whitey-rabbit]

I didn’t say that, just that I could afford to buy you a soup and not worry about you paying me back. I’ll get it for you as soon as I can, have any preferences?

[diamond-char]

I know you didn't. You didn't even imply it. Anyways, wonton soup is fine. Or egg drop soup. Surprise me.

[tigerxheart]

Turn that frown upside down, Char.

[diamond-char]

Hard to do when you're living with the flu. Ooh, I just rhymed. Does that make me famous?

[areyouheartless]

Alas, there were two. Now it’s come time to determine the one true comedian of our clan in a battle of wits. Have you the nerve, Auntie?

By default is such a way to win a title. I applaud you. However, I feel that your ego can increase with just about anything and sharing my stash isn’t going to help keep it steady. In any case, you’re welcome.

[diamond-char]

Stop being so dramatic, Jacob. We can both be witty, and since we all know you get your wit and charm from my side of the family, you really shouldn't disrespect your elders by getting so cocky with them.

Well, it helps that I live up to my title. But you're right. My ego does increase with anything--positive or negative. And while sharing your stash does steadily increase the level of said ego, it's not growing at exponential rates, don't worry.

[rebeccasheart-deactivated201407]

More important things like what? If you don’t mind me asking that is. Why of course, I’m something akin to your personal secretary, aren’t I? Besides someone needs to look out for you, don’t you think? Coffee is healthy, as long as it’s in moderate doses, but I doubt it’ll help you getting over your flu, tea would do the trick, I’m sure.

Unfortunately net, I have yet to find a kind of ‘head courtesan’ to ensure that everything runs smoothly, I hardly can imagine Jabba to help my girls with all their means, tho I sometimes believe that he wouldn’t mind to do so. Charlotte I’d never ask you to take over the Red Heart while I’m gone, nor would I expect you to follow me in my footsteps, I hope you know that?

[diamond-char]

Like....making sure my rent is paid? I don't know, sometimes I just feel like I don't have time to keep up with the time. Not really, you just make me get my ass in line if I'm about to miss something important. Tea? Are you sure? There's not anything in the whole world that tastes good that I can drink to help the flu?

Yeah, that seems like a real bummer. You might want to promote one of your girls to that title soon so that if you need to leave while Marcus is gone, things don't go all to hell in the process. I feel like he might feel like he's babysitting if you gave him the task of doing that, but he would do it. I do, I just thought I'd point it out, too. I don't think I could handle the job, don't they whine sometimes?

[allison-spade-deactivated201407]

"I’m not sure… I remember drinking. And then I ended up here. You’ve been gone though, haven’t you, Aunt Char?"

[diamond-char]

Meh, fair enough. I've had my fair share of drunken excursions. I have. Just got back to Wonderland the last week, I think?

[whitey-rabbit]

Oh shut up, the soup won’t be making any sort of dent in my wallet, and you know it. The thought of you paying me back is hilarious.

[diamond-char]

I know, I just needed some incentive to get you to bring me soup, because I would really appreciate it actually. Hey, just because I'm not taking sides doesn't mean I don't have money, either.

[diamond-char]

Text // Jabba

Jabba: Getting you soup. There's only one person I'd ever willingly get soup for out of the goodness of my black, shrivelled heart.

Jabba: And it certainly isn't you.

Char: Just bring me some fucking soup

Char: Please

[areyouheartless]

I think everyone in this family has the not funny gene, and I just happened to get lucky and be born with wit and charm and hilarious comebacks.

Well prove yourself worthy of the title. The stuff’s in my bag. Besides I’ve only got like one other aunt and I can assure you she’s not the favorite.

[diamond-char]

Excuse you, I'm hilarious. You're not the only one in this family with a funny bone.

So I'm the best aunt by default. It's okay, my ego isn't going to get any bigger than it already is. So you can admit it. Gracias, Jacob. I do appreciate when you share.

[diamond-char]

Text // Jabba

Jabba: You make it sound so domestic it's a little bit offending.

Jabba: And sickening.

Char: Make what sound domestic? Sex?

Char: All I want is soup, if me manipulating you to bring me soup is domestic then fuck life

[diamond-char]

Text // Jabba

Jabba: Oh, the dilemma.

Char:...is this you getting up to bring me soup?

[areyouheartless]

I certainly don’t get my sense of humor from your side of the family.

You’d be a horrible aunt if you did this with me…Or possibly the best. I’ve got the usual.

[diamond-char]

You didn't think it was funny at all? C'mon, you must get your humor from your dad then.

If I'm the best I'll do it with you. If I'm the worst you need to find a new aunt.

[diamond-char]

Text // Jabba

Jabba: Friends? You know I don't have friends. And true, but I'm still not bringing you soup. I don't want to catch whatever disease you're carrying around.

Char: Okay fine, don't be my friend. Bring me soup for selfish reasons. The longer I go without soup, the longer I'll be sick, which means the longer it is until I'm well enough to have sex.