it’s almost november, which means it’s that time of the school year. it’s getting darker sooner, assignments are piling up, and a lot of my classmates are feeling exhausted. that is exacerbated by covid-19, personal stressors, and other factors that affect each of us differently.
as someone with high-functioning depression, i am well-acquainted with experiencing cycles of good and bad days, so i decided to write this little post of things that help me. (i hope these are helpful, but they may not work for everyone. you know yourself best.)
1. identify and acknowledge your feelings.
the first step is to sit with yourself a while and identify your emotions. it’s important to understand how you’re feeling and pinpoint a reason why, because emotions that are pushed down don’t just disappear. you don’t have to do deep soul-searching, and you don’t have to try and change your emotions right now. just get in touch with how you feel.
i like to tell myself “you’re feeling _____. that is okay and valid. you’re probably feeling like this because of _____.”
2. prioritize what you need to get done
okay, this one might be the hardest. i know it’s difficult to think about your to-do list when you might just want to sleep, but future you will be grateful that you at least made a dent in your work. think about what you need to do vs. what you should do. start the necessary items first, and don’t feel bad about skipping the less important ones.
for example: let’s say i needed to write an essay, do two readings, attend two zoom classes, take an online quiz, and attend two meetings. i might instead find a few sources for my essay, do one of the readings, attend the classes with my mic and camera off, skip the non-vital meeting, and attend the second meeting.
it’s mostly about modifying your schedule to be as non-taxing as possible.
3. give yourself extra time & comfort
don’t expect yourself to function exactly as you do when you’re feeling great. if possible, let yourself wake up slowly. do what you need to be comfortable as you start your day. listen to a lovely playlist, wear a hoodie & sweats, place a stuffed animal at your desk, turn on your fairy lights, etc.
this is why it’s important to cut back on your to-do list - completing tasks will take you longer. it is okay if things take you longer today. it has no bearing on your worth as a person or a student. resist the temptation to do everything just to prove to yourself that you can push past your own discomfort and need for rest.
4. let someone know how you feel
you don’t need to get specific if you don’t want to, but you should probably let a friend or loved one know how you feel.
a simple “hey, i’m not feeling great today, so if i act off that’s probably why” or "i’m feeling kind of down today so i might not [insert activity or behavior]” will help you be honest and keep the people close to you in the loop.
i had a bad habit of not telling people when i’m having a bad day and then getting annoyed when they act like everything’s normal! the truth is, they don’t know what you don’t tell them. who knows, maybe there’s something they can do to take some of the weight off your shoulders!
5. view your situation as if you were someone else
this one might sound a little odd, so bear with me. imagine that your friend, parent, sibling, partner, etc. were feeling the same way you are right now. what would you advise them to do? would you encourage them to take the time they need today? would you try to help them through it?
then do the same for yourself. it’s easy to think that other people are different, that they maybe have fewer bad days and therefore are “better,” that they don’t need to push their feelings down like you do. that is false!! try to identify three things that you would recommend a loved one do when they’re feeling down, and then apply those to your situation.
6. know that this feeling is temporary
you will not feel like this forever. it is hard to truly believe that when it feels like life will not get better, but i am here to tell you that it does. get. better. this summer was the worst of my life (no exaggeration - my mental health was at rock bottom), and while i still have bad days, i can confidently say that you will move past this.
lastly, here is a website i think has some good advice - it takes into account that we all have varied needs. it’s written for people with depression but honestly is mostly applicable to everyone. just do what works for you <3