All fics that I’ve written are ACoTaR related, mostly centered around Nesta and Nessian. I also have an AO3 account with the same username as my tumblr name and I post everything in this masterlist to that account as well.
Multi-fics that are constantly updating:
A Court of Witches and Warriors Masterlist (ongoing): A multi-fic post- ACOFAS following Nesta’s journey after she accompanies Cassian to Illyria to live there after being banished from Velaris. Nesta discovers a new understanding of family as well as herself and the powers that she’s been avoiding for too long. Nessian galore.
Made Masterlist (ongoing): A multi-fic Mafia AU with Nessian, set in both Chicago and New York. Nesta is the daughter of a prominent man of the Chicago outfit and somehow becomes entangled with the leader of the rival mafia family, the New York Cosa Nostra. Being caught is only half the fun, because Nesta’s never met a man like Cassian before, and she’s not ready to let go.
Suits Masterlist: A multi-fic AU where Nesta is a law student and unwittingly hooking up with a guy who ends up being her law professor on the first day of classes.
Moments Masterlist: A collection of moments during and then after ACoSF written simply for myself.
Multi-fics that should be updating but...
The Next Life (ongoing): A multi-fic that is set ultimately at ten years after ACOSF. A lot has happened between Nesta and Cassian, not too many great things- and years after being separated, they finally meet again. (Heavy angst)
Chapter 1:
Chapter 2:
Chapter 3:
One-Shots
For They Were Gods: A NSFW oneshot of when Cassian and Nesta stayed on the mountain for two days in ACOSF. The scene we didn’t get that I really needed. Link here.
The Bed: NSFW oneshot (2 shot?) of Nessian in the Illyrian mountains after some time.
Part 1-
Part 2-
Of Rules and Agreements: NSFW one-shot of the deleted threesome scene SJM refuses to give us. Link here
Freckles: Fluffy (slightly shmexy 😉) one-shot of Nesta and Cassian a few days before the big battle with Hybern. Link here
The Next Dance: One-shot take on what happened after that INSANE sneak peek scene with Nesta, Cassian and Eris. Link here
Lost: A three part series of Nesta living in Illyria after being taken out of Velaris. Nesta wanders off in the middle of the night to a forest in Illyria that people stay away from. Nesta can’t seem to do that though. Canon divergent (written before ACOSF).
Part 1: Lost- Link here
Part 2: Missing- Link here
Scandalous: A Nessian pregnancy one-shot. Link here
Learning Curve: Nesta POV on her time in Velaris and the descent into the Nesta at the end of ACOFAS. One-shot. Link here
Bitter Blood: No summary to avoid ACOSF Spoilers- I made this with spite in mind. Be warned. Link here
Promises: One-shot of Nesta and Cassian in Illyria. Witch Nesta exploring some spells when Cassian is late coming home and she’s worried. Link here
Grateful- my first fic ever!!! Also witch Nesta. What more is there to life? Link here
Non-Nessian One-Shots
Regrets: A one-shot of the Lady of Autumn musing on her life and where it went wrong, and running into Helion. Short, angsty, I am so invested in them. Link here
Baby Ori: this might be something later. Idk, it came pretty easy.
Nesta softly stroked her new daughter's wings in the dawn light as she lay in the bed, healing from last night’s birth. Madja fussed with linens across the room, while Cassian snored in the chair next to her. The past few hours were a blur of blood and breath behind her. The family would meet her soon; aunts, uncles, cousins, a gaggle of people who already loved this baby. Now, Nesta savored every second as she held her daughter on the edge of silence.
Nesta ran her fingers over little pointed ears and the babe’s thatch of dark hair, the same deep color as her father’s. Her little lips puckered as she suckled in her sleep, and dark, long lashes swept across her cheeks. Human babies were always born with an indeterminate eye color, but her daughter had opened silver blue eyes with a look that said; I’m here now, Mama.
The baby snuffled against Nesta’s bare chest, her cheeks smooth and warm and she breathed in her baby’s scent. She smelled new and soft, and Nesta could only dream of what she’d smell like as she grew up. The tips of her wings curled at the top in a way that Cassian’s didn’t. Did his mother have these wings too, Nesta wondered?
Cassian had held her through it, the labor too. The long and harrowing labor where Nesta’s mother seemed to lurk around the corner as she walked through contractions. “You will destroy this child you stupid girl,” her mother hissed in her mind. Terror held her by the throat as time crept on. She sobbed that she wasn’t ready when Madja said it was time to push. Nesta screamed and clutched Cassian’s arm and hand and then…
Then a slippery little baby was on her chest. Arms and legs that had kicked her bladder and ribs now flailed around. Little wings stretched and she screamed with breath. In that moment, the ghosts of her fear and her mother were cast out of her mind. Madja and Gwyn cleaned her up while Cassian sobbed and Nesta wept silently.
She could not recall the pain from last night. It didn’t matter anyway. Her daughter was here and she was perfect.
There was a soft tap at the door, Cassian stirred awake, meeting Nesta’s eyes with confusion. The rest of the family weren’t coming for a while. Madja rushed over, helping Nesta cover her breast.
“The priestesses wanted to see the baby before the chaos,” Gwyn announced as she opened the door. Nesta looked up as Clotho entered the room almost silently. Behind her, the other priestesses followed with bundles in their hands; blankets, little toys, and gifts.
“Her name is Orianna,” Nesta whispered, as she cradled the baby, presenting her to Clotho. The priestess stepped forward, her arms reaching out for the little bundle. Cassian helped Nesta place the baby in Clotho’s arms, her gnarled fingers turned white as she gripped her. Clotho smiled as wide as she looked down at Orianna.
“It’s an old Illyrian name,” Nesta said, “I heard it at Windhaven and it sounded like a song.”
I’m gonna go ahead and put this bullshit to rest🫶🏻. Nesta is not leaving Cassian, they love each other and it would kill them if they ever had to be apart(both of them canonically say this in their thoughts). Cassian absolutely would not cheat on Nesta nor leave her nor hate her. He never has hated her. This man couldn’t and wouldn’t have a relationship romantically, physically, or emotionally after the first time meeting Nesta (he says this in acosf). Lastly, he has been in love with her from the first time he met her and ain’t falling out of love anytime soon or ever. He literally faught the compulsion of the crown, a Dead Trove that makes people do whatever is said by the holder, through his love for Nesta and stabbed himself not being able to stomach hurting her even if he was magically made to do it.
Does he have issues regarding his treatment of Nesta? Yes. But guess who else does? Nesta. She didn’t always treat him kindly. Did he fix what he said and did to her? Yes. As well as Nesta fixed what she said and did to him. Are they allowed to have arguments from time to time? Absolutely, if they didn’t they would never work out and the relationship would be blindly toxic. Furthermore, THEY ARE NOT FEYSAND AND THAT IS PERFECTLY FINE. NOT EVERY COUPLE HAS TO BE LIKE FEYSAND TO BE A GOOD MATCH.
Overall, Nessian are in love. They are Mated. At the end of acosf they talk about a future regarding a family of their own, a life of their own. They have been willing to die together multiple times and when faced with danger, both of them have been known to do unimaginable things (cassian fighting the crown, Nesta literally unmaking someone) they wouldn’t be able to do this if they weren’t in love and a true fated mated pair.
Thank you for reading! If you disagree don’t get your panties all in a wad and leave hate comments, I don’t feel like losing any more brain cells over nonsense that comes from people who both have no reading comprehension and have to literally change a characters entire arc/personallity to make a theory work.
Cassian and Nesta - A Court of Thorns and Roses series by Sarah J. Maas
I actually see myself in Nesta a lot (including the not so great parts). Being the oldest of 3, similar tastes in hobbies, painfully stubborn, and direct. I heavily relate through the flaws regarding emotion and trust. I can admit I have a bit of a temper, though it’s more silent anger rather than combustion like Tamlin💀 . I once made my little brother cry just from a look I gave him when he was pulling on my pants too roughly trying to play.
I never hated Nesta. I would have to hate myself too if I did. I’d be a hypocrite.
Cassian, the charmer. I always gravitated to his personality type in friendships. The idea of growing up scares me, so I seek playfulness and appreciate those who can be so witty even during mundane or serious moments.
I love MADE, LOVE ITTTT. I keep reading it whenever I feel down and I've been reading it for a long timeee. The new chapter MADE MY WEEKKKKKKKK THANK YOUUUUU FOR WRITING THIS FANTASTIC PIECE OF ART.
A/N: YES I KNOW IT’S BEEN TWO YEARS SINCE I UPDATED. I’M SORRY.
Enjoy as always! 😉
Part XIII
It is possible to be in love with you just because of who you are.”
― Maggie Stiefvater
~*~
Nesta hadn’t bothered to ask where they were when the plane had landed. The tropical island they were now on had been a hazy figure against the backdrop of a dark night as they came to it on a boat. All of it had been ready to go the minute they’d landed at the private airport, with multiple cars changing routes and a chartered yacht off whatever coast they’d arrived on.
The air was hot with a warm breeze but the lack of humidity had made it bearable to her. They were staying in a beautiful beach house with a deck and balconies overlooking the calm sea around them. If she didn’t know any better, she might have guessed it was the perfect sort of destination honeymooners came to. But this was not a honeymoon, nor any vacation, no matter how pretty the scenery was. Nesta found very little joy in the temporary refuge Cassian had brought her to.
She had tried her very best to tell him, thank you. Thank you for saving her from that abysmal marriage she’d been about to enter into. Thank you for always being there for her. Thank you for bringing her here, wherever here was.
In the end, Nesta had fallen into a dreamless sleep within moments of being brought to a bedroom.
It had only been a day later from when they’d arrived that Cassian had walked into the large master bedroom and silently handed her a burner phone. Nesta had been lounging around, not really doing anything since they had no Wi-Fi or cell service but the hurry in Cassian’s step and the harsh lines on his face had worried her.
She’d taken the phone from him with shaky hands while he watched her stoically.
Nesta had murmured a quiet hello, not expecting Elain on the other line.
“Nesta? Hi. It’s me.”
Nesta hadn’t responded, not knowing what else to say. Elain’s voice had shaken, and even though it wasn’t uncommon for Elain to waver, something about it had sent uneasiness reading through her.
Elain had cleared her throat, “It’s…mom. She passed away this morning. Dad’s in the ICU. It’s not looking good.”
The world had begun buzzing faintly around her and the phone had dropped from her hands, thunking noisily onto the hardwood floor. A strange high pitched noise had taken over all sound, and while Nesta could see Cassian pick up the phone and talk to the person on the other line, she couldn’t hear the conversation. Nor did she want to.
That had been a week ago.
Nesta didn't speak much after that and she knew Cassian was worried. Worried enough that he kept pestering her every few hours to eat, to come walk with him or to simply do something other than sit on their bed and stare blankly at the walls. But what the hell else was she supposed to do?
Her mother was dead. She got daily updates on her father’s condition and it wasn’t changing to anything good. Outside of her family, tension in the entire syndicate had come to its peak and war had broken out. Beron had declared war on Nolan for Nesta backing out of their agreement. They found out that Nolan, thanks to Cassian and Azriel’s spies, already had a plan ready to kill Nesta the minute he found her. There was a bounty put on hers and Cassian’s head and the only thing that was stopping it from spreading to her sisters was Rhysand’s quick thinking. He’d taken over as Capo in Cassian’s absence, and due to Cassian and their crew’s notorious reputation, Nolan held off on her sisters, who were now staying with Rhysand and Azriel. Nesta had worried about her father who was alone in the ICU but Rhysand had promised her he’d put multiple guards in the hospital corridors and on the floor to protect him.
Eris was nowhere in the public eye but again thanks to the many spies Azriel had sent out, they knew he was fine and had survived the massacre at their almost wedding. He was also just as upset at Nesta’s disappearing act, but unlike Beron, he hadn’t made as many public claims for slaughter and vengeance.
“Probably scared someone’s going to finish the job the second time around if he opens his mouth again,” Cassian had snickered on the phone a few days ago. Nesta had almost laughed at the image of a cowering Eris, once again on the run because he bit off more than he could chew. But then everything hit her all over again, and she quickly sobered up.
It wasn’t that she had been particularly close to her mother. At least, not in the traditional sense, since they were as dysfunctional as they came. But for the time Nesta’s mother had stuck around, Nesta had been the apple of her mother’s eye. She’d maintained every rule and every whim her mother threw at her, only to be let down by everything that happened when she ran away.
And it was a strange sort of grief, to feel such an absence, and cry not with longing for what was gone, but for what had never even been there. For what they could have been.
It was a week and a half into their pseudo-vacation when Nesta got the call that made her breathe slightly easier. Her father was awake and well on his way to recovering. They’d moved him out of the ICU and brought him to Rhysand’s home with a stay at home nurse and visiting doctor.
Her mother’s death was a cold, dull emptiness. If her father had passed too, Nesta knew it would open into a yawning fire, threatening to consume her completely with guilt. His last words to her had been apologetic, and the most heartfelt they’d ever had in years. Possibly ever. Perhaps it was fucked up that it was only near death that she felt worried about the strained relationship between her father and herself, but that was who she was. Bitter at times. Cruel too often. And easily hurtful as she was hurting.
Cassian it seemed was the only one who didn’t mind all her sharp edges.
When the phone call ended between her and Feyre, Cassian took the phone from her with one hand and pulled her upright with the other.
“Come with me,” he pulled her gently towards the master bath.
“I don’t want to shower right now. I might go for a walk,” she pulled back and away, knowing that this was Cassian’s attempt to get her to talk to him. And she would do no such thing. Just because her father would be okay didn’t mean she was ready to deal with all the shit that had happened in the past few weeks.
“A soak,” Cassian insisted, already reaching the massive tub and turning on the water. “Just a quick soak Nesta. Your father’s doing better, you can breathe a little.”
He looked back at her as the soap began foaming and a lovely, light scent that reminded her of Cassian’s aftershave, filled the room.
“Relax with me. Just for a little bit.” And then he held her in a stare that she couldn’t break away from, not after everything he’d done for her.
He’d watched over her for so long, especially since he’d brought her here, and it was only because of his brothers that her family was still alive. He’d helped her escape a horrible fate, and he’d been nothing but kind in all these weeks of monotonous silence from her.
She grumbled but started taking off her shirt, then her shorts and Cassian followed suit, walking into the tub and settling into it. She may have sneaked a peek at his backside and the rippling tattoos on his muscled back as he sat down. Just a peek.
They hadn’t touched like that ever since they’d gotten here, and while Nesta knew Cassian was doing it to be respectful, she mildly resented it. It would have been a welcome escape from the misery in her head. But she also knew Cassian would tell her that wasn’t a healthy coping mechanism.
The water was warm against her skin as she walked into the tub and slowly sunk down to sit. She’d opted for sitting across from Cassian as opposed to directly against him, just in case she lost control of herself and started leading them towards something more than just “relaxing.”
Cassian would stay the utter gentleman but Nesta couldn't guarantee she could do the same.
They sat like that for a few minutes and eventually Cassian slipped a hand underneath the bubbles to grasp one of her legs and massage her calves.
“I’m fine,” she insisted tightly as he rubbed a particularly sore spot.
“You’re stiff,” he grunted. “And you’re tense.”
“I wonder why,” she snapped, teeth bared at him only for a moment before she remembered he wasn’t the enemy here. Cassian only held her eyes for a little longer before returning back to his ministrations.
She almost apologized but even talking was too much of an effort.
“We need a plan. For how to return without getting killed.”
Agreed. She only nodded at him. She was all ears at this point because when she wasn’t grieving or cold with numbness, she was thinking about all the plays they had to go back home and stay alive. So far she’d counted ten different ways to go about it, with each one ending up with Nesta, Cassian or both of them dead. Usually their families also ended up on the wrong end of a weapon.
“We can deal with Tamlin’s crew after we deal with our inner house shit. If we try to pick a fight with them while we’re still fighting, we’re going to lose.”
Agreed again. She may have hated the idea of the truce, only because she had had to marry Eris, but the concept wasn’t bad at all. United on both the East Coast and the Midwest front meant more trading in between the two factions, more strength, and overall, more reason for other groups to not fuck with them. In this case, that would be the Irish.
Cassian had alternated to her other leg and she had almost sighed aloud in pleasure at how good his fingers had felt massaging the taut muscles of her hamstring. She closed her eyes and allowed herself a few moments of peace and quiet.
A secret, selfish part of her whispered that this was the solution. To stay here, under the radar, forever. To never leave. To stay hidden and safe and far away from the ruckus that was the Cosa Nostra and Outfit.
But then she remembered that it wasn’t just her or Cassian she needed to think about. Feyre, Elain, her father, Cassian’s brothers, and the countless innocents on both sides would bear the brunt of the conflict if they didn’t intervene soon and a war started.
Cassian’s voice called her name softly but she was far too comfortable now to move or speak, let alone open her eyes up. She only murmured to indicate she’d heard him.
“We need to get married.”
Nesta’s eyes snapped open.
“What?”
Cassian didn’t react as she pulled her leg from his grasp and straightened her back.
“Are you crazy?”
Cassian rolled his eyes, leveling her with a hard glare. “Obviously.”
“Don’t mock me, this is serious. That doesn’t solve anything. In fact, I’m pretty sure it makes it worse.”
“How? The only issue they have right now is the fact that you didn’t marry Eris and the alliance got fucked. We go back, married. You’re from the Outfit, I’m Cosa Nostra, it’s perfect.”
“No,” Nesta shook her head viciously. “It is not perfect. Nolan and I had a deal. I marry a son of the Vanserra family. Last I checked, you’re not that.”
Cassian waved a hand, splashing some water to the side of the tub. “Semantics. It’s a marriage that cultivates the alliance they want for a truce. It doesn’t really matter in the end who does it. It’s symbolic.”
Nesta opened her mouth to argue about the bigger problem she had.
“I talked to Rhys this morning. He’s sent money to Nolan and paid off your debts. With interest. And then some on top of that.”
Nesta shut her mouth. Opened it again. Then shut it as realization struck her.
“You played me,” she gasped.
Cassian grabbed her by the ankle underwater before she could leave the tub. He rolled his eyes as she tried to kick him with her free foot, only to slip further down in the tub and get splashed in the face with suds.
“Can you stop?”
“No! No I will not stop,” she seethed. “You were all, “relax with me Nesta. Just for a little bit, Nesta. We need a plan, Nesta.”’ She didn’t care how ridiculous she sounded mimicking him.
“You already had a plan ready to go this morning, you motherfu-.” He tightened his hold on her ankle, pulling her even closer, and cutting her off. She didn’t care. He’d snapped some invisible tether of restraint on her and she couldn’t hold back anymore.
“This was just making sure I followed through with the rest of it. Do you think I’m stupid Cassian? You think I’m some kind of fucking idiot? My mother is dead, my entire family is in shambles and you pull this shit on me? That’s so fucked up. And so you. You’re trying to manipulate me into marrying you. Well you can’t. I won’t do it.”
Nesta’s chest was heaving as she struggled to compose herself. She was livid. She didn't even know she was capable of being this angry with him.
“Are you done?,” he asked, exasperation written all over his face. Had it been anyone else, she knew he would have left the minute she’d started screaming at him. But Cassian had remained unfazed at her outburst. He probably found it funny if she knew him.
When Nesta didn’t respond Cassian nodded.
“Good. I’m glad you got it all off your chest.”
Asshole.
“Now, why don’t you want to get married? I just told you why it will work, and you know your debts have been squared away, so that contract with Nolan is useless to you now. You don’t have to follow it. This works out.”
It did work out. Really well actually. Too well. Well, fuck that.
“You know what else works out Cassian? We go back and murder everyone gunning for us right now. But why haven’t we done that yet? Let’s think about it.” She ignored the eye roll he gave her. “Because, it’s a stupid fucking idea!”
Cassian muttered,“So you weren’t done then?”
“Don’t mock me!”
“I’m not. Give me one good reason why we can’t get married.”
Almost spluttering, Nesta was grasping at straws when she made her final argument.
“People marry when they’re in love.” It sounded stupid just leaving her mouth but she said it anyway. Cassian did indeed laugh.
“Yeah, because you and Eris were just starstruck by each other.”
Nesta scoffed. “Don't be such a dick, you know what I mean. Outside of this life I mean. I can’t just marry you after running away from my last one. Marriage should be for love.”
“And I don’t love you?” He cocked his head at her.
Nesta froze.
Cassian let her.
They’d never gone there, here, and being caught unexpectedly in the thick of it wasn’t doing her any favors with winning her argument. Or dealing with what he’d just thrown on her. The awkward silence between them continued to stretch on. The way they were both bared to each other in such a painful, raw way made her want to scream.
Finally, she found her voice. “No.” Her voice was shook and she hated it. Hated everything. Even him in that moment.
“No, I don’t love you?”
She sighed. Tried again to speak. But it was too much. Too much too soon all at once. She wanted to scream. She wanted to cry.
When was the last time someone had said they loved her.
Seriously, truly loved her.
Loved…her.
“I’m not…” No she couldn’t. It was far too shameful to say it out loud. She closed her eyes as the muscles began stretching and pain spread under lids. She could feel the tears begin to build up even under the closed eyelid. Could taste the tears in the back of her throat as she held them in longer. She couldn’t do this.
“You’re not what, Nesta?”
So wrong. So, so wrong to admit this to him. To say it out loud and let him know just how wrong he was. The minute she did, he’d leave. He’d know she was right and he’d walk right out, and then where would that leave her?
Right where she’d been before they’d even met.
“Nesta you need to talk to me. I can’t read your mind. I mean, usually yes, but not right now. So help me out bella.”
Well, she knew how this was going to go anyways in the end, so there was no point in prolonging his departure any more.
“I’m not…” she blew out a breath. Tried again. Eyes tightly shut still because damn it she would not cry in front of him. “I’m not someone that’s loved. People don’t love me. And if you’re saying you do, you’re lying. And I know that it’s stupid because no one is probably ever going to do it, but I still want to be loved to be married to someone.”
It was horrible saying it out loud. Her greatest fear, her greatest shame. And yet, with her eyes still shut, and only a few tears having managed to leak out from her eyes, it wasn’t so bad. She’d bared herself at her lowest to him, but since she couldn’t see his face, it almost made it okay. She wouldn’t need to watch him nod in agreement, nor would she need to see him walk out and never look back.
“Nesta look at me.” She wouldn’t have. She hadn’t planned to. But something in his voice made her reconsider. The softness with which he pleaded with her made her re-evaluate her decision to shut him out.
The tears that had built up behind her eyes fell down her cheeks hastily as she opened up her eyes to a blurry world. She blinked the moisture away until a grave looking Cassian was staring back at her.
“Nesta, let me be very clear about this. Because I don’t want you getting this mixed up and I don’t want you thinking I’m lying.”
She waited for him to say his goodbyes.
“I love you, very much. I could not live a day without you if you were gone, and I can’t stand to breathe sometimes when you aren’t around me. I wanted you by my side from the first day I met you even though I barely knew you. And even then, it’s felt like I’ve always known you. I want to marry you, because you are the most amazing, beautiful, selfless, loving, and brave woman I’ve ever had the honor of meeting and knowing.”
She was shaking and Cassian reached out to steady her, enclosing her hands into his larger, stable ones.
“Not because of some stupid contract. Not because of this fucked up war. I want you for you. I want to marry you because I love you. And I am sorry I didn’t say it sooner and let you think you weren’t loved. Because you are bella. You are someone who is loved. You are very much so, loved and not just by me, by many people, and I am sorry for whatever or whoever made you think otherwise. But that’s not true, and if I have to spend the rest of my life convincing you of it, I will. It would be my honor to share that life with you, if you would have me.”
Nesta didn’t know what to say to that. She’d been stunned into silence yet again.
Nesta had never feared the men in her life growing up. Not for the reasons most women did. Sure they were capable of unspeakable violence. Unfathomable cruelty at times. Apathetic at the best of times, monsters at the worst of them.
But Nesta had become a monster too. From the moment Nolan had put a gun in her hand and she’d felt the recoil stampede through her bones, she’d known she’d never be anything less than the men she’d grown up around. No less fearsome, no less violent. But the only person, the only man, that Nesta had ever come to truly fear, was Cassian.
Cassian, who was all brash temper and bold spirit. Cassian who had seen through her willful pride and broiling anger, and uncovered her true self within minutes of their eyes slashing into each other. Cassian had terrified her because even after seeing it all, after she’d laid her truth and her past bare, he hadn’t run. He’d welcomed her and rejoiced in her with his own haunted musings. And with the admission, with the brutal honesty of who they were, Nesta had become afraid of what he had seen. What they could be. What she may become. A monster through and through, yes, but no longer alone.
Cassian who…loved her.
“Nesta?,” Cassian asked with a bit of panic in his eyes. “I know it’s not the best proposal in the world but I don’t know if silence is the rejection I want.”
That thawed her.
A wholehearted, unexpected laugh bubbled out of her before she could stop it, and Cassian nervously joined her after a moment.
She moved closer until both her and Cassian were almost nose to nose in the middle of the tub. She lifted a hand to his cheek, and Cassian pressed a kiss to the heart of her palm.
“You love me?,” she whispered.
“I do. I love you.”
So Nesta kissed him and Cassian kissed her back with so much fervor, she almost laughed again at his excitement.
And then she was crying, all over again, but this time, it was Cassian who wiped her tears away, just as he shed his own. She wiped his too, holding him tightly just as he held onto her.
“I love you, Cassian,” she whispered onto his lips before kissing him again. Gods but she had loved him for years. Years and never once had she told a soul, let alone Cassian himself. Pining so desperately after him, wanting and wishing for him to be hers just as he had been all along.
And even though the world had gone to shit around them, especially back home, and they didn’t know what would happen in the end, none of it mattered in that moment.
Not the fighting and the bloodshed, nor the war and the uncertainty of it all.
In that moment, Nesta’s world was perfect.
~*~
New Taglist: @endlessdaydream@sleeping-and-books@purpleglitterypinecone@sv0430@gwynberdara@karmasworlds@bookstantrash@duskandstarlight@d0riansgray@perseusannabeth@vasudharaghavan@sayosdreams@arielle-reads@theoverlyenthusiasticwriter@nahthanks@oversizedbats@swankii-art-teacher@inardour@rowaelinismyotp@starryblueskies7@vidalinav@nessiantrashh@imagine-me@iwastoowildinthe70s@lady-winter-sunrise@vanzetanze@moodymelanist@wishfulimaginings@amaranthas-whore@simpingfornestaarcheron@generalnesta@mis-lil-red@nestaisgod@booksstorm@loosingdreams@champanheandluxxury@18moneytoad@starksravings@tinasbookishlife@cookiemonsterwholovesbooks@nesquik-arccheron@readingwitches@that-golden-lyre @awesomelena555 @wannawriteyouabook@story-scribbler @readingismyonlyhobby
Summary: Nesta and Cassian mated on the night of Winter Solstice. But before they could mate properly, Cassian left soon after, leaving Nesta reeling and Cassian wanting more. When they mate under an official ceremony, with ancient magic, that mating call is renewed, and Nesta and Cassian are going to be in a frenzy. I.e. I wrote 20k fic full of smut.
Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV
~*~
Nesta had mostly slept uninterrupted through the night, though she’d expected herself to not wake for hours, maybe even days. She had been so thoroughly spent from the past two days and knew then that it had been wise of Cassian to hold off on their joining until she’d had some form of rest after their ceremony.
Nesta had been half asleep when she’d reached for the pewter on the bedside table, and had been jolted awake by the cold water. Cassian hadn’t stirred until she’d curled up into his side again, reveling in the strength she’d felt as he’d wrapped his arm around her middle and pulled her closer.
They hadn’t spoken when he’d woken her the hour after with bruising, tantalizing kisses on her neck. She’d only grabbed the hand on her middle and placed it between her legs. Cassian had not made to move her, letting her rest as he slid into her with ease.
It had been slow and soft even though she could feel Cassian pulling himself back. They’d always been vocal in bed with each other, never shying away from their desires and what effects they had on the other. And yet there was something more intimate, more fragile in the darkness of their room, with his arm wrapped around her middle, pulling her backwards into his chest as he made love to her. Softer, as she entwined their hands and turned her head back to seek out a kiss. It hadn’t been enough, none of it, yet she’d tried to make do. The burning in her chest, the searing live wire within her begging for more, more, more.
He’d swallowed her gasps and moans as he’d thrusted deeper, biting affectionately at her lips as she’d gone through her climaxes. And it had been her, wholly her as his focus, even though it was Cassian who had initiated. It had to have been torture she knew to hold back as much as he did. From hurting her or tiring her out, she didn’t know, but she knew the tenderness he was treating her with had only served to make her want him more. In the end they’d broken apart together, hands clasped above her head, lips sealed in a kiss that promised more with time.
It was almost night when they woke again, Cassian waking her with a lovely smile that melted her heart. When she’d become so sappy, so lovesick, she had no idea. Yet, it didn’t really bother her. If the end result was waking up to Cassian, a very naked Cassian in their too large bed, she didn’t think she’d ever complain about acting like a silly girl with her first love.
He’d left her to draw a bath, insisting on it for her sore muscles and whatever other excuse he’d created. Between the breakfast, the bath, and the endless orgasms, she could get used to this. She’d told him as much and Cassian had laughed wholeheartedly, only dropping a kiss at the crown of her head before pushing her to move to the bathing room.
She’d all but thrown a fit when he’d made to leave her in the large tub, filled to the brim with bubbles. Petulant as ever but she’d insisted she wasn’t hungry even though she was. All she wanted was him with her as she relaxed and sank deeper into the water.
”You really are so demanding,” he said as he finished washing her hair. “Most females enjoy having someone to cook for them.”
Nesta rolled her eyes. “I didn’t say you can’t cook dinner. I said do it after I’m done with my bath.” So she could steal every single minute of his time and keep him to herself. She wouldn’t say that though.
“Sure Nes,” he laughed. “Sure.”
Cassian began working on dinner at midnight. Through no fault of her own, although Cassian insisted it was hers alone, they’d ended up staying upstairs for far longer than was originally planned.
Nesta had watched him walk out of the tub, grabbing a towel to wrap around his hips, and taking away the show. She’d quickly gotten out of the tepid water then, moving to find him and make it right. She’d been enjoying the view far too much and wanted it back.
His back was turned to her when she found him in his other room, browsing through his closet for clothes. He hadn’t turned her way when she’d come up behind him but she’d seen his wings tighten and tuck inwards. It made the job of pulling the towel right off of his hips that much easier.
Cassian hadn’t even looked fazed when he’d turned slowly to take in her still damp, still unclothed body. He’d only raised a scarred brow to her before roving over her breasts and lower.
”If you don’t keep your hands to yourself mate, you’re going to starve.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she’d all but purred.
”Of course not.”
He’d pushed her onto the bed then, putting her on her hands and knees and fucking her from behind. She’d screamed into the sheets as she came, all three times, and even then it seemed Cassian could keep going. It seemed the sight of her in such a way, on her hands and knees, hands clenching into the sheets beneath them had renewed something in him. Something far more primal and Fae than before. She’d always felt the term fucking like animals was too crass for her taste. But then again, she’d never been with Cassian then. Never laid like this before where it was more rutting than fucking.
It was both torture and pleasure to have his thick cock ram into her at that angle, so deep it felt impossible at times. By the end of it she was sobbing from the sheer pleasure, nearly begging though for what she didn’t know.
He’d cleaned her up gently, kissing the marks he’d left at her throat, her hips, her breasts. She knew he’d likely add more before the night was over but that didn’t bother her. To her surprise, Nesta was finding she liked this side of him. This side that wanted to claim and mark her as his own. His.
Her heart sang at the thought, of being his.
When they’d finally put on clothes Nesta had been temporarily sent away from the kitchen while Cassian cooked. According to him, she was a bad influence. According to Nesta, she liked what she liked, she knew what she wanted, and Cassian could most definitely have fucked her with one hand and stirred the food with the other if he wanted to.
He hadn’t found her amusing at all and sent her away. A time-out at twenty-five had to be a joke but Cassian was serious.
“I’ve created a monster,” she’d heard him mutter to himself.
Dinner though, had indeed been delicious. She had explored his study and the small bookshelf inside it, picking up a book on espionage and warfare to read. He’d found her with the book in bed, sprawled on her stomach in his shirt and nothing else. She knew exactly what the sight of it did to him. That and the top two buttons undone to give a generous view of her cleavage that he dutifully ignored while he placed her plate in front of her.
”I’m not hungry,” she supplied uselessly. A lie if she’d ever heard one. It was a miracle her stomach didn’t growl at the mouthwatering dinner he’d procured. A feast really with the glazed vegetables, seared chicken, warm bread and some spiced rice that smelled divine.
She’d never tell him that because then he’d act impudent and arrogant with her, but she’d seriously needed to eat. She couldn’t remember being so tired after sex before but two days of nonstop lovemaking had begun to take its toll. Even the night before she’d gone to sleep knowing it would be hours before she could wake again.
Cassian only said softly, with a lilting cadence, “I know what you’re doing and it won’t work.”
Nesta had tried to look a little offended. Tried and failed but she still kept up the picture of innocence.
“I don’t know what you mean,” she said with a saccharine smile. He hadn’t bothered to even look at her as he moved to the other side of the bed.
“I’m still going to fuck you Nesta, have some dinner.”
”Really?,” she asked coyly, her traitorous body already perking up at his words.
”Behave and you’ll find out,” he said softly, the promise of something sinful in his voice.
She pressed her legs tighter as something warm and tight had coiled in her core. Nesta couldn’t understand it, this want, this furious need to have him over and over. Even the day after Solstice and all the days he’d left her be in the House and she’d made do with just her hands between her legs and images of his face, his body, how he felt inside her, was nothing like this. Even in the days following his return, it had never been like this. Never had there been this aching need that seemed to rob her of breath and voice and all rationality that she prided herself on having.
Cassian settled against the headboard, wings relaxing around him as he poured her a glass of wine and then one for himself.
“I just opened this one. It’s two hundred years old.”
She took a sip, savoring the sweetness. She’d never really cared for wine but found it most palatable when getting drunk all those months ago. Hard liquor, though it did the job faster, always upset her stomach far more. Besides that, she hadn’t drank alcohol in months save for a few sips here and there at dinner. It had seemed the House had finally deemed it safe enough for her to drink again a month after Solstice, but Nesta hadn’t had much interest in it anymore.
“It’s good. Very good,” she noted, before taking another sip.
”It’s for you.” She raised a quizzical brow at him, not understanding even as he handed her the bottle.
On the sleek black bottle, the label read the name of the wine and province it had come from. And then in curling letters in the empty space of the label was a message.
To you, the most unlucky girl in the world.
We wish you the best as you embark on your lifelong journey married to this asshole. We hope this bottle of very expensive wine makes up for all your troubles but it probably won’t. Welcome to the family.
Love,
Rhys and Az
Cassian rolled her eyes as she laughed but she saw the glimmer of a smile graze his lips as he reread the note silently.
“Idiots. They made me keep it here for so many years. And every time I’d try to open it they wouldn’t let me, insisting I had to give it to their future sister-in-law.”
Nesta smiled at the thought.
Cassian looked at her then, and something shifted in his face. “And here you are. After all,” he said softly.
Nesta didn’t know what to make of the emotion on his face. Didn’t want to more like it since she knew she’d likely start crying if she did. Instead she opted to push his plate aside and slide in between his open legs, leaning back against his chest as she reached for her plate.
She ate her dinner silently, nestled in between his legs. He said nothing more either but she knew the unspoken words that lay between them.
I found you. After all this time, after all these years, here I am. Here we are. Together.
They cleaned up the dishes together, with him washing and rinsing and her drying beside him. It was so domestic, so simple, yet something tugged in her heart as he handed her the last spoon and dropped a chaste kiss on the top of her head.
She could see it then, this future of theirs. Years ago, the best she could have hoped for herself was a husband who she didn’t detest, who didn’t hurt her or force himself onto her, and one who left her alone as she raised their children in a cold, loveless home. That had been the best option for herself, and she’d accepted that fate. When she had grown older, that acceptance had turned to nauseating fear, especially when Tomas Mandray had become a quickly approaching reality. An abusive, spineless asshole who couldn’t have been bothered to treat her with basic respect, let alone anything more.
Love had never even crossed her mind. Not because she didn’t want it or thought herself to be above it, because that couldn’t be the farthest from the truth. All her life she’d secretly dreamed, pining and hating herself for it, for the stupid wish of true love that could steal her breath away with just a look. A man who would sweep her off of her feet, who would make her feel that the world wasn’t unconquerable, who’d stand fervently by her side and love every facet of her. She’d burned with it, that horrible desire to have something so otherworldly it simply wasn’t possible.
And then she had blinked, and there Cassian was.
Their future would be slow, soft mornings, brought out of slumber with finger soft touches and reverent moments as they shared the space in between their mouths and breathed in the same air. Their future would be lovemaking so thorough, so encompassing, she thought she’d combust herself and be engulfed in flames so terribly hot, so passionate it would meld their very skins off until they were fused into each other. Seared into each other’s souls. Their future would be his windswept hair tickling her as he leaned down to kiss her hello and goodbye every time they reunited and every time they had to part. It would be wars fought side by side on killing fields and visits to the local theater where they would dance for hours into the night. Their future would be a small girl with Nesta’s hair and Cassian’s eyes, a boy with her reserved nature and Cassian’s love for the skies, and so much love for their children, each and every one of them, in all the ways neither of them had been given as they’d grown.
“Nesta,” Cassian’s voice broke her out of her soaring thoughts.
Nesta placed the last plate into the cupboard and turned to face her mate.
”Where did you go?,” he asked fondly, poking her cheek before moving past her to the icebox.
Nesta pulled herself up onto the counter watching as Cassian finished closing the kitchen up. She followed the contour of his wings, umber and red-browns mottling with the illumination from the faelights overhead. So beautiful this male of hers, sometimes he took her breath away.
“What were you thinking about?,” Cassian prompted lightheartedly.
”Nothing,” she answered. A pause. “Everything,” she admitted with a small laugh.
“Our children,” she finally settled on. Cassian stopped whatever he was doing and slowly turned around. Something soft bloomed in his face, vulnerable and hopeful.
”What about them?,” he asked carefully, a whisper in the already quiet room.
Nesta shrugged, trying and failing to hide her embarrassment. The soft blush she knew would start staining her skin as she felt it heat up. Months ago, a year ago, she would never, never have admitted such a thing to him. Never would she have been so honest about her feelings, about him, about them, and everything in between. It would give him far too much power over her, even though she knew deep down he’d always had it. No matter what she did or didn’t do, he’d always held her in such rapture it was a wonder she didn’t lose herself completely sometimes.
“How they would look,” she offered with a small smile. Cassian came closer, stepping in between her legs. “How we would be, how they would be raised…,” she mused, raising her hands up to wrap up and into Cassian’s hair as he pulled her closer towards him.
Cassian’s smile told her everything she needed to know. It was every assurance she knew she would need whenever they started that journey together and a piece of her heart sang as she knew she’d be alright with Cassian by her side.
“How many?,”Cassian asked gently, tickling her ear with a soft kiss.
“You tell me, brute,”
Cassian looked far too delighted with the question, so much so that she decided to stop him instead. Nesta let out a huff, knowing exactly where they were headed. She pushed at his chest, knowing full well it did nothing to deter him.
“Not that many,” she answered knowingly.
He shot her a reproachful look. “You don’t even know what I was going to say. Maybe I would have said two. Or three.”
She narrowed her eyes at him. “Is that what you were going to say?”
He chuckled. “No. Not at all.”
Nesta met him in the middle as he leaned down to kiss her, leaning into his touch. His fingers tangled into her hair, and she angled closer, moaning as she felt him press himself against her core. Cassian broke the kiss just as she felt she was running out of air, and she gasped at the sudden shock of cold air in her mouth.
”Just to be clear, we’re not having any children anytime soon?”
”No,” Nesta answered quickly, eager to finish what he’d started. She reached for him again but he moved out of her reach.
”Because you just need to say the word,” he offered salaciously. She rolled her eyes, pulling him back, this time successfully.
“I’ll let you know in a century or two. For now,” she said, struggling with the buttons on his shirt, “just fuck me.”
Cassian threw his head back to laugh, pushing her hands away and pulling his shirt off in one smooth motion. She would try not to think on it for too long but the muscled brown skin suddenly on display, whorls of black ink flexing with Cassian’s every movement, had her legs moving apart of their own accord.
If her mind wasn’t so single minded in that moment she would have chided herself for being so lustful. Surely she could gather her wits for a second. She was definitely capable of it. But in that moment it was harder to think straight and keep her composure, especially as he began undoing the lacings at his pants.
Nesta had no intention of moving from where she’d situated herself, happy to wait for him to join her and fuck her until she lost her voice and all sense of reason.
Until he pulled his cock out.
It was already hard and dripping with moisture, and it was so easy then, to push off of the counter, instead dropping to her knees before him, eager to taste and touch.
”Nesta-,” Cassian grunted, almost as if he didn’t want this. Perhaps he was trying to focus on her own pleasure as he’d been painstakingly doing for the past few days. But she’d always loved pleasing him. Loved seeing how she could make him succumb to her and only her, even on her knees.
His body told a different story as he practically molded to her, hands spearing with ease into her unbound hair, holding her tresses out of her face.
He tasted like salt and pure intoxication and the taste of him burst on her mouth as she swiped her tongue over the bead of moisture at the tip of his cock. Cassian made a garbled sound and she felt his fingers tighten sharply in her hair before relaxing again.
She stroked softly, softer than she knew he liked, and peered up at him with heavy eyes. Watching, waiting and not giving him nearly enough sensation to enjoy himself.
“Careful,” he warned in a low voice. “I know what you’re doing, witch.”
Nesta’s lips curved of their own volition before she could help it.
“Patience,” Nesta started, before dragging her tongue from base to tip in one efficient lick, “Is a virtue.”
He growled and she felt her breasts tighten at the sound. Felt a pool of warmth begin the build between her legs because she always associated it with pleasure that only he could ever give her.
“You’ll pay for it later then,” he settled on, relaxing into her grip as she quickened her strokes.
“I look forward to it.”
Then she took him down her throat as much as possible, knowing that it would drive Cassian wild. Whatever was left of him she moved her hands over quickly, slickening his length with her mouth, bobbing and sucking with ease. She made a point to drag her teeth ever so gently as she reached the tip of his cock, and to lick at the broad tip before taking him back down her throat.
Cassian let out a guttural sound each time she did that and she felt a coy sense of satisfaction. Only she could do this to him. She’d learned his body, all of his ticks, and everything he needed to come. It was a heady feeling to taste him and touch him this way, and she relished in the slick slide of his cock in her mouth, the moans he made as she moved faster and faster, pushing him towards that brink.
“I can’t…Nesta,” he murmured incoherently, thrusting his hips jaggedly, all sense of control lost from him as she worked him harder, deeper, faster. The sting on her scalp as he pulled tighter, moaning her name, was welcome encouragement.
Yes. Finally. She’d wanted this from him. This release on himself, the unbridled energy he always seemed to tamp down on so as to not lose control of himself. She knew everyone assumed him to be reckless and chaotic, all brash temper and quick actions over thought. But he was a thousandfold more careful than she’d ever been, far more controlled and far less erratic.
She preferred him like this. He’d always been able to meet her word for word, verbal blow for blow, yet he always held himself back from a line she was always wiling to cross. She enjoyed him unleashed, more so, on her and it was only when they were like this, when she could touch him and give and give that she felt satisfied.
He cried out as he hit his release and Nesta did not slow down. She did not stop to breathe let alone think as she savored the warmth now in her mouth, savored the harshness on his face slowly morphing to contentment. She swallowed every drop and kept her eyes open and fastened on his own gaze down at her. Cassian’s pupils were fully blown and something tender was etched into the planes of his as he looked at her. He caressed her head softly as she released his cock, stroking through her hair with careful deliberation.
Cassian let his hand drift from her head down to cup her chin. Then to rest lightly around her neck before pulling her up by it. He met her halfway up in a savage kiss, and she moaned into his mouth, licking against his tongue and letting him taste his release on her.
“The things you do to me Nesta,” he whispered against her lips before claiming them again. She felt his hands travel down her body cupping her ass roughly before lifting her up. She wrapped her legs around him on instinct and paid no mind to where he was taking them. She kissed down his jaw, licking at where his pulse fluttered under her teeth. She was tempted to bite down on it. Knowing Cassian it would only encourage him. But she held back, controlling this urge to take and take and slake herself on this unbearable desire that had been building for the past hour.
Cassian threw her down on the bed, a predatory smile gracing his beautiful face as he saw how quickly she raised herself up towards him.
”So eager,” he taunted, his laugh running chills down her spine. She didn’t care, couldn’t, not when she needed him so badly-
A knock came at the door downstairs. They both froze but Cassian didn’t look away from her. It came again, sharper this time, and irritation blossomed on his face as his eyes went distant and cold. She recognized that look and knew he was talking to someone in his mind. And she had no doubt who was at the door.
When he came to, it was clear he was disgruntled.
“I’ll be back. Rhys is here.” His voice was clipped as he spoke, and he turned quickly on his heel towards the door. Nesta puzzled over what Rhysand could be doing there, knowing he wouldn’t interrupt for a mundane reason. Worry and dread suddenly filled her and formed a pit in her stomach. What if Feyre was hurt? What about Nyx, Mother above-
“They’re fine,” Cassian abruptly interjected her racing thoughts, as if he’d read her mind. “Everyone is fine, this is about something else. Some work I need to do while I’m still here in Illyria. Don’t worry about it, I’ll be back soon.” A darker emotion passed his face. “He knows he’s not supposed to be interrupting us right now. Asshole.”
Nesta laughed softly, relief calming her. Cassian didn’t look at her as he pulled open the door but she saw the slight turn of his head, angled at her.
His voice was low, simmering with lust and intent, but even as he murmured to her, she could make out his words perfectly. “You better not be dressed when I get back.”
The command was subtle but it was there. The bite of what he’d left unspoken was also not lost on her. There would be consequences if she didn’t listen and while she usually enjoyed seeing how far she could push Cassian, it was not the time for it. She needed to come so badly and she knew her own efforts would pale in comparison to his touch.
She snorted and considered it for a moment. If he punished her for the disobedience she would still get what she wanted in the end, only she would need to work for it. Were this any other day, she might have enjoyed it, being at his mercy as he kept her orgasm from her. But she felt the mating bond chafing from within, and the consuming urge to mate and couple was quickly rising. In the end she caved, tossing her dress and then her underwear to the side of the room.
If Rhysand and Cassian were talking, she didn’t hear anything. Not even as she strained her Fae senses outwards to where they should be outside the house. After a few minutes she laid down on top of the sheets, raising her knees and crossing her legs tightly in the hopes that it would quell the need inside her to touch herself. The lights above her irritated her eyes and she threw a hand over them to block it out. In fact, everything was starting to irritate her, especially as the time stretched on and Cassian didn’t appear.
Maybe she wouldn’t wait for him and she’d slip her hand between her legs and come. It wouldn’t be nearly as enjoyable if it was Cassian himself, but at least then she might finally find release.
Cassian appeared moments later, as if he’d sensed the direction of her thoughts. The door had quickly opened and closed but Nesta did not move her hand off of her face. She did not rise up to meet him. Had not bothered to drape herself seductively over their sheets in effort to get a rise out of him. Fuck that.
”I’m sorry,” he apologized, but she didn’t react. “Rhys…,” he sighed, cutting himself off. “Everything’s fine but it won’t happen again. I made that clear with him.”
Fine.
She didn’t have to like it but she listened, moving her arm off her face. The Faelight overhead shocked her and she blinked a few times before her eyes adjusted. Cassian’s pants were still on, laces undone, but he’d put his cock back in and her mouth watered at the memory of what they’d just finished downstairs. She pressed her legs closer together, knowing it wouldn't help.
He didn’t miss it, that small movement and he took in her legs, her raised knees tightly locked against each other and smirked. The bastard smirked knowingly.
He practically purred, mocking her, “You need to come so badly, don’t you?”
She ignored the jab, only pushing up onto her elbows to look at him better. “What’s it to you?”
His eyes roved over her bare breasts and she felt the bond tug in her chest. So he liked the view, but what else was new? His eyes dipped over her taut stomach, likely noticing how tense she was holding herself. Cassian moved closer then, leaning his two hands down onto the mattress just inches from her legs.
”Let me see you,” he asked softly, but it was an order all the same. And it burned through her as she fought the urge to give in or to fight. He wrapped his hand around her ankle and gave a light tug, just enough to jolt but not enough to pull her legs apart.
“Let me see you, Nesta.”
She knew he wasn’t talking about her face.
Nesta opened her legs, raising her head just a touch to see his reaction. What she saw stole her breath away. He groaned appreciatively at whatever he saw between her legs and a hunger overtook his features. He was going to eat her alive and she’d enjoy every moment of it.
”Look at you,” he murmured, dragging a knuckle down her core with a featherlight touch. She leaned into it, only for him to move away and sit beside her on the bed.
Cassian’s hand slid down Nesta’s bare stomach, leaving chills in their absence and stoking the fire under her skin even more. She was still sore from before yet it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered except him and that tantalizing touch making its way down to where she needed most. He was going purposefully slow, she knew, because it was such a Cassian thing to do. To punish her with the one thing he could beat her in.
Patience.
She could jest and toy with Cassian all she liked about patience, but unlike Nesta, Cassian could and had waited out this sort of torture if he wanted. But worst of all, he would make her wait too. This was punishment for earlier, she was sure of it.
Nesta canted her hips just a touch, causing his hands to go ever so slightly lower to where she wanted it. He slid his eyes towards her, taking in every inch of her torso and breasts on the way up.
“I will stop.” He said it with just enough mildness that Nesta was tempted to see if he’d actually follow through. But the threat had been made, and Nesta wanted to come, so she stopped her squirming.
She made sure to tighten every muscle in her body so as to not move anymore. Cassian’s hand still right above the apex of her thighs had to have felt her muscles shift underneath. He chuckled darkly.
“You listen well when you want to come, don’t you? Greedy girl.”
Then, without any warning at all, Cassian leaned down over her stomach, and enclosed his mouth around her core, consuming her over and over. Her mouth opened in a silent scream as his tongue ran down her center and then back up to her clit. Her legs fell open wider and her muscles loosened just as Cassian pulled away.
Nesta almost throttled him.
She didn’t get a chance to though because Cassian slid his entire hand down to her sex and cupped her roughly. He tested the slide of the wetness he’d left on her skin with his mouth, and Nesta canted into the movement, grinding against his hand.
“Greedy,” he muttered again with a small smile. And then he slid his fingers up to circle her clit with just the right amount of pressure to have her gasping. It was so slow, so painfully slow for her, but she let Cassian go on, knowing he knew everything about her body and what she needed.
It may have gone on for hours, or maybe a few minutes as Cassian continued his torturous stimulation, alternating between rough and fast strokes with soft and gentle ones.
It was only when he slid two fingers inside of her did Nesta allow herself to make any noise of indication that she was enjoying herself. She’d kept herself silent just to bother him, even though she knew the arrogant bastard was too self-assured to ever worry about that.
It was only when she moaned again as he slid deeper, dragging on the ridge of muscles along the topside of her that he quickly looked her over, smirking at the sight before turning away again. She always liked to see his face when she came, and it was only petty rivalry that had kept her from begging him to look over or kiss her while she came on his hand.
Nesta moaned louder, no longer caring how she sounded. Not as Cassian moved his thumb up to her clit and began circling, his two fingers still pumping in and out of her, faster and faster now. Nesta’s hand went out to steady herself against something, anything, as she felt her climax begin to build.
Her nails dug into Cassian’s thigh, and his head whipped back to see her, just as her eyes shut tight at the sheer pleasure coursing through her bloodstream. Cassian didn’t let up, but his free hand circled the hand she’d placed on his thigh and gently clasped it. Nesta squeezed his hand harder and he didn’t let her go, holding her through everything as it ripped through her, shattering her mind to oblivion.
Even as she came down from the crest, Cassian did not stop. She let go of his hand to stop him but he snagged her wrist easily and placed it on her stomach.
“Use your words. If you want me to stop, say so.” And with that, he went back to his ministrations. Nesta whimpered from the overstimulation, even as Cassian gentled his stroking, but he didn’t let up. And Nesta didn’t stop him. It was just this side of pain even as pleasure sparked anew for her, and she didn’t want him to stop.
“That’s what I thought,” he said with a wicked grin. He stretched her with a third finger and Nesta’s eyes rolled back in her head.
”Cassian,” she gasped.
It was all the encouragement he needed as he leaned down again and sucked on her clit while pumping those thick fingers into her. Over and over- fuck.
It was too much, all of it was far too much and she came with a silent scream, back arching up to push her core further into Cassian’s face and hands. He led her through the orgasm again, only this time moving away from touching her as she came down from her high. She didn’t think she could handle another climax so soon and as always, Cassian knew what she needed from him.
He gave her the time she needed to catch her breath, undressing himself fully in that time. Her limbs had turned to jelly, and even though the sight of him fully bare so close beside her made her lust return twofold, she didn’t have the strength to act on it.
Cassian didn’t seem to mind at all, content to kiss her neck, the valley between her breasts, her stomach, her thighs, slowly, softly caressing her with his lips. His hands tickled as they moved up her sides, stroking over her arms, her legs, tangled in her hair. She was content too, at his side, simply allowed to be.
”Are you tired?,” he asked after some time, sucking on her pulse before licking a line down her throat to her breast.
She murmured, eyelids heavy, “No.”
Cassian dragged his teeth over her sensitive nipple and she whimpered as the sensation traveled down to the juncture of her thighs. He looked at her with amusement, hazel eyes flicking over the contours of her body in a generous way.
”I can tell you are,” he admitted. “I can feel it through the bond.”
Yes, he would. It was different now, she could tell. So much more stronger and absolute than when they had first arrived. More than when they had first mated and every time after. It was strange, ancient magic that she wasn’t interested enough in to question.
”It’s fine. I’m fine,” she offered, lifting her chest just so into his face.
He laughed at that, nuzzling and kissing where her heart lay. “You can sleep. We can continue this tomorrow. Or later whenever you wake up.”
Nesta protested, “No. I’m not tired.” He shot her a look. “Alright I’m not that tired.” Her leg came up to wrap around his hip and Cassian pulled her closer on instinct. And then just to prove her point she grabbed his cock and stroked languorously.
“I have plans for us,” she reminded him coyly.
Cassian grabbed her wrist, pulling it towards him and kissing the tips of her fingers before pinning it above her head. “I don’t want to tire you out. Or hurt you,” he conceded.
“You can do whatever you want to me. I don’t mind,” she breathed.
A bare confession but it was the truth. He could do whatever he wanted, take whatever he needed, and she would freely give it. It was heady, the loss of control she could easily give to him and take back without ever worrying it would hurt her. She trusted him that much and something shifted in his face, as if her words had a far deeper impact on him than she could imagine.
He kissed her then, with an unexpected fervor, and when the surprise wore off, she matched every stroke with her own. He moaned into her mouth and she pulled him closer, tugging on his unbound hair just the way she knew he liked it. Cassian broke away to bite at her neck, licking at her jaw before peppering it with kisses. Her hips lifted of their own accord, grinding against him and his hardened length.
He cursed softly, peering down to where she’d pressed herself against him, and a surge seemed to overtake him at the sight of it. His eyes darkened with approval and with a shift of his hips he had thrust himself fully inside her.
Her head fell back against the pillows at the fullness of it, at the pressure that she needed to relieve. Cassian pulled her closer, pulling one leg up as he settled between her thighs. She could imagine the view he had, one which had him looking so positively feral. His cock so impossibly deep inside her, one of her legs curled around his hip, the other raised up around his shoulder, giving him a perfect view of where they were joined.
He shifted slowly, moving out of her with ease before pumping back in. Slowly, so slowly she wanted to die. She snarled with disapproval and his eyes met hers in a smoldering battle of wills.
”Move,” she gritted out.
”Don’t like it?,” he taunted. And moved again, ever so slowly.
“Go faster,” she snapped, because god damn it she couldn’t handle him being inside of her like this. She needed him to move, to fuck, to finish her so thoroughly she would forget her own name.
Cassian didn’t relent, only barely picking up the pace, enjoying his own personal show as he watched his cock slide in and out of her with ease, knowing exactly what it was doing to her. He could get her off in minutes if he wanted to. He was capable and he’d done it more times than she could count now.
This was a game to him, to see how long he could torture her, put off her climax and build the temptation until it was unbearable.
She reached down and played with her clit but Cassian caught the movement immediately, snarling with warning.
She didn’t stop, only purring as she held his burning stare. “Don’t like it?,” she threw back, smiling with anything but kindness.
“You’ll come when I make you, witch,” he snapped, but unlike her, there was no bite to his words, only amused affection.
“And when will that be?” To make her point she shifted her hips, taking him harder and faster until Cassian pinned her hips with a free hand.
She whined at that, “I want-”
Casssian cut her off with a kiss, moving against her lips with a ferocity she couldn’t match.
“I know what you want. You’ll get it,” he promised, a dark glint in his eye that made Nesta shiver. She offered her throat on pure instinct and Cassian leapt at the opportunity, licking and nipping at her pulse point.
He also began moving in her harder, and faster, just how she wanted. Just how she needed from him.
Cassian moaned as he looked down again and Nesta nearly came at the sound itself. It was guttural and low and she could still feel the sound vibrate deep in her chest as he looked down at where they were joined.
His rhythm faltered for a moment as he met her eyes, pulling out of her.
“I could watch you take my cock forever.” It was an obscene sound as his cock slid back into her, and out, over and over as he rammed into her. She screamed, clenching around him, grasping for anything to hold onto.
Tendrils of his hair stuck to his forehead and sweat gleaned on both of their bodies. His muscles tightened and shifted, wings spreading behind him as he pulled her closer, impossibly so, “You’re so good to me Nesta, aren’t you?”
Yes. Gods but she was. But she couldn’t say that, couldn’t manage any words at all on how good she could be to him if he said the word. All he had to do was say it and she was willing to crawl to him and pleasure him for however long he wanted.
His hair tickled her chin as he leaned over her and captured her nipple in his mouth, sucking hard before leaving it with a pop. He dragged his teeth over the other and Nesta moaned his name, not caring for poise anymore. She needed this so much. How she’d held off on touching herself earlier she didn’t know anymore.
Cassian’s fingers found the apex of her thighs with ease and she widened her legs at his touch instinctually. The rise in pleasure, in sensation, was almost instantaneous and she whimpered against his chest.
“Cassian,” she gasped, her heart pounding in her chest, pounding in her ears like a war drum. She was overheated with the heat emanating from both their bodies as they moved against each other. She couldn't think, couldn't breathe right. Cassian steadied her with just one look. Just one look into his hazel eyes and Nesta felt herself relax, giving herself over to the pleasure rather than tightening up against it.
He left a bruising kiss on her lips before he continued bucking into her, his hold on her leg tightening in a warm, solid grip that kept her grounded to reality. It shouldn’t have been possible to feel this much pleasure, to be this undone, and to still keep going. There was no end, no beginning, no sense of place or time. There was just them and that thing in her chest that tightened each time he smiled down at her or held her closer as they both came down from another mind-shattering climax.
“They’ll fade,” Cassian said after what seemed to be hours later after laying silently in their bed. His fingers glided over the bite mark left at her throat in the chaos that had overtaken them and they’d both been reduced to nothing but a rutting and snarling frenzy.
Nesta laughed at that. “You don’t need to act. I know you’re disappointed.”
Cassian grinned, a feral, glinting smile as he curled closer. He dragged his tongue over the small hurt and she bit her lips to hold in any sound that may escape by accident. She didn’t need to encourage him.
”Is that so bad? That I want there to be a reminder for the world that you're mine.”
Something warmed in her heart at the words, the sheer honesty he displayed with them.
Mine.
It was such a simple sentiment, but she’d never had that before. Someone to want her as their own, to accept her as theirs and proclaim her for everyone to see and hear proudly.
“You’re a territorial brute,” she finally decided, quickly kissing him but letting her tongue slide just so over his lips to rile him up.
“You like it,” he lobbied back, leaning in closer to finish what she’d started. But she’d already started untangling her limbs from his and making her way to the bathing chamber.
She didn’t wait to hear what he had to say, knowing it would be a rumbling complaint on her leaving him all alone in their bed. Nesta locked the door behind her for good measure, knowing that a bath to clean off the sweat and sex from her skin would be useless if she allowed him to follow.
Cassian wasn’t in bed when she finally finished changing into clothes and combing her hair. And the bed had been made, with new sheets and all their strewn over belongings set right.
Nesta felt a tug on the bond and she followed her instincts down the stairs and to the sitting room, to where Cassian was waiting for her.
The faelight shone through his wings and she paused to take in the image. The amber and brown skin nearly shimmered as she traced the delicate veins underneath with her eyes. Cassian’s hair was unbound again, so unlike him during training and everyday events where he often tied it out of his face into a haphazard knot. Her hands flexed with the memory of the waves she loved to card through, loved to pull on at times, and loved to simply marvel at. He was so beautiful it hurt.
”There you are,” he said with a smile, reaching out his hand towards her. “I was waiting for you.”
Nesta took his outstretched hand happily, letting him fold her into his hold as she sat in his lap. His scent, spice and embers and snow enveloped her and she breathed it in greedily, moving on instinct to his neck, to the pulse that beat under the skin. Cassian let her, his throat rumbling a groan as she pressed a soft kiss to his neck and then the underside of his jaw.
When he speared his hand through her hair, she expected him to tug her closer but to her disappointment, he pulled her back gently.
Nesta clicked her tongue in irritation, her mind already heady with desire that she needed him to satisfy.
He murmured against her lips while his hands held her face firmly in place and just enough out of reach that she couldn’t kiss him. “As lovely as I know you’ll look on this table when I fuck you on it, I need to finish something first.”
Yes, her. He needed to finish her off.
”Behave,” he admonished, granting her one toe-curling, sensual kiss that she left her panting for more. Nesta narrowed her eyes at him as he made no move to go any further, but when he wouldn’t budge she groused lightly and gave up.
”Fine. What do you want?”
Cassian snickered at her disappointment and turned her gently to the table before them. His hand spanned her waist and she leaned back into the solid warmth of his chest. On the table was a small, black velvet box with her name engraved on it.
She looked back at him and an expectant smile bloomed on his face. He nodded towards the box but there was hesitation looming in his face. Nervousness.
”What-“
“Just, open it sweetheart.”
She huffed but didn’t argue, wondering what he could be so nervous about. The wood was cool to the touch and it opened with a soft click, as if it had been kept untouched for this very moment.
What lay inside took her breath away. A beautiful ring sat glinting in the center of the box, twinkling up at her. Set in what looked to be a silver band that shined in a way she’d never seen before, there were stones embossed in its center. The middle piece was a beautiful oval ruby surrounded by delicate diamonds all around. Nesta had never seen such a beautiful ring in her life, perhaps she never would. It was utterly perfect.
“It’s like your siphons,” she murmured as she pulled it out of its place. She couldn’t help but smile at the likeness. The thought behind it.
”And your fire,” he noted softly, kissing the shell of her ear. “It’s us. Both of us.”
So it was. Her silver fire, the one she’d spent so long running from, was just as much a part of her and who she was becoming as Cassian’s siphons were a part of him. The ring was a perfect union of each of them together.
Nesta reached for his free hand and placed the ring in his palm.
Alarm ran through his face along with bewildered confusion until she placed her left hand out towards him, waiting.
Cassian let out a relieved sigh and laughed a little. “You had me worried there,” he said with another small chuckle before sliding the ring onto her fourth finger.
A perfect fit. Of course. She marveled at her hand, at the way the lights overhead shone through the ruby and reflected a deep red glint around it.
”It’s beautiful,” she admitted, grinning unabashedly at Cassian. “Thank you. I love it. I love you.”
Cassian cupped her face tenderly, answering with a gentle kiss that set her heat soaring. “And I love you. So much,” he breathed out. Their faces were so close she knew they were breathing the same air, living off of each other, existing in sync as she’d always known they were meant to be.
”You need one too. A ring,” she explained after a few moments, pulling only a small distance from him to take him in in his entirety.
He nodded knowingly, as if he’d expected her to say those exact words. He rummaged in his pant pocket for a few moments before pulling out a similar box and handing it to her as well.
Nesta snorted. Of course. She flipped open the box and noted the ring inside was a similar imitation to her own silver band. Slightly thicker than hers with no stones or gems to be found, but there was an intricately engraved design in the color of rubies in the center.
“What is that?,” she asked, tracing the design carefully.
”It’s a marking. Males usually have it tattooed on us when we marry but I didn’t have time to go to Illyria and get it done. I’ll do it when I can, soon, but this is the next best thing.”
“When did you do all this?,” she asked as she pulled his hand forward. She hadn’t seen him meet with any jewelers when they were preparing for the wedding, nor any engravers.
“My band, I received a few days after the Blood Rite. It was easy enough to find a simple band and get it engraved. Most males wear a similar style so it was done the same day.”
“Mmm,” she answered, slipping the ring onto his finger, before kissing his knuckles. Cassian relaxed under her touch, tangling their hands together and appraising them thoughtfully.
“And mine?,” she wondered aloud. “I remember when my father worked with jewelers and traders. A ring like mine couldn’t be done in a day.”
He nodded. “It wasn’t. Took them about a month to get back to me. And then another for me to find the time to go see them in Illyria and pick it up because they made it in the northern villages. Such a long flight Nes, I was so tired after that.”
Nesta frowned, confused. “We only decided to marry three weeks ago.”
Cassian nodded, smirking knowingly. As if he were waiting for her to figure a puzzle out.
Nesta’s breath came unevenly. “When,” she asked hoarsely, nearly heady with the realization she’d already made. “When did you decide to have this ring made?”
Cassian didn’t even hesitate.
“After the ball in Hewn. We danced and I…” he hesitated for a moment. “I just knew. I can’t explain it.”
Soon after it had been Solstice. He’d gotten her the Symphonia, had gone and found all her favorite songs and saved them for her.
It’s a gift, not a fucking wedding ring, he’d told her.
But there had been a wedding ring. The intent behind it and everything else- it had been there all along. He had known for so long, all those months ago, that he wanted to marry her. And she’d never even suspected, never even thought it possible that he could want her in such a way.
Nesta couldn’t stop it, the tears that sprang to her eyes in that very moment. It was suddenly too much to handle, all of her emotions coming at her like a storm. Regret and sadness and excitement and hope and fear and anger and joy and…love. Above all, so much love for him, for who he was, for all he’d given and done for her, and love for this tenuous future they were slowly building together.
Cassian frowned, clicking his tongue at her as he gathered her face in both his hands.
”Don’t cry,” he soothed softly. “Don’t cry. I hate seeing it.”
She sobbed harder and Cassian murmured her name sadly before tucking her into his chest.
“Nesta, Nesta, Nesta.” He stroked her hair gently, holding her through the worst of it.
“I wasted so much time,” she whispered against his heart.
”No,” he answered immediately. Fiercely. He forced her to look up at him, forced her to hold the gaze she so desperately wanted to break from. The hazel in his eyes blazed with so much emotion she couldn’t place it all.
“You didn’t do anything wrong. We were always meant to be sweetheart. Always. From the moment we met. And I already told you once, if we didn’t get time in this world, I would always find you again in the next one. There is no such thing as wasted time. I found you, we’re here, together. It’s exactly as it was meant to be.”
She sniffed and Cassian dried her tears with his calloused hands. She instinctually leaned into his touch, letting his words wash over her.
”Meant to be,” she repeated quietly, more to herself than him.
“Yes,” he murmured, kissing her once, twice. “I am yours. Wholly, completely, forever, yours. And you are mine. I can’t believe it sometimes but you are. And I will never stop being grateful for it.”
“I’m yours,” she promised.
”You are,” he assured her. Kissed her again.
”And you are mine,” she breathed, almost praying it rather than speaking it.
”Always, Nesta. Until my heart stops beating. And even then, even when this world ends, when we end here, we will begin somewhere again. Always.”
Yes. Yes, exactly. He was so right, so true, her heart burned at the words. At the confession. She sighed into his touch, into his mouth as he kissed her fiercely again, consuming every bit of her being. The softness of their touches quickly evolved into more heated ones with frantically meandering hands and exploring fingers. Nesta did not know when they parted, did not know what time even was anymore. She’d been consumed by him, completely, and if this was how and when she went, she’d have no complaints.
Hours later or days later, she didn’t know, she lay tangled against him, the sheets barely covering her because she knew how much he enjoyed the view. The bond was a living force by then, so strong she didn’t know how she’d gone so long ignoring it and forcing it away. She’d laid there counting his breaths, tracing the markings on his bronze skin, marveling at the power, the life that moved under her fingertips. All hers, every part of him.
Nesta had known then that he was her whole heart. Half her soul. The very air that kept her breathing. They had been inevitable from the moment they’d met. The moment he’d looked at her, the moment she’d heard his voice, the moment their eyes had met.
Summary: Nesta and Cassian mated on the night of Winter Solstice. But before they could mate properly, Cassian left soon after, leaving Nesta reeling and Cassian wanting more. When they mate under an official ceremony, with ancient magic, that mating call is renewed, and Nesta and Cassian are going to be in a frenzy. I.e. I wrote 20k fic full of smut.
Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV
~*~
Cassian awoke to dim light falling on his face, filtering into the bedroom through the dark curtains he usually kept drawn. That and a warm weight pressing into his front. Cassian kept his eyes shut, only opting to press that weight closer into him, tangling them together further. He heard a soft laugh and gentle, searching fingers rove over him.
Exploring and meandering over what he knew was likely his Illyrian marks, until she’d reached his face. Then his cheeks. Until finally a gentle hand carded lovingly through his hair. He let her explore and touch, happy to just let her be as she sorted through his hair, combing and raking through it with content.
When was the last time someone had stroked his hair? His cheek? Held him this close to them with a comforting silence.
Not since he was a youngling with his mother, or when Rhysand’s mother had taken him in. Not in centuries. How he’d longed for someone, anyone, all those years ago, to hold him close and keep him warm. To protect him and shelter him from all the dangers of the world, the cruel hands and twisted words that would soon be flayed onto him. Too long.
Sure he’d had his brothers. And while he gave out his affection to them willingly and freely, and they welcomed it with open arms, it wasn’t the same. To have a lover of his own, a mate to call home, hold him and comfort him…to have that was to know true peace. To just be with him and love him in the still and silent waking world of early dawn.
I’m here. I am always here. I will always be here for you. She didn’t need to say the words for him to know them to be true. Her gentle caresses did more than enough to convince him.
He peeked a look between half-lidded eyes and nearly stopped breathing at the vision before him. Nesta’s hair shone against the early morning light, just slightly mussed from their lovemaking. Her face was radiant with a glow that seemed to come from within and the smallest of smiles had graced her face as she looked over him. Beautiful. Truly and perfectly the most beautiful creature he’d ever had the honor of coming across. He closed his eyes, happy to fall back asleep to the soft strokes through his hair.
But then her fingers left the hair at the nape of his neck and brushed the edge of his wing at his back. Cassian tried, and failed, to hold in the stutter his breath took of its own volition, hissing as the sensation sprung down to his cock.
He sprung forward, trapping her wrist in a light grip, and pulling her closer to his chest. Nesta struggled against him, pulling back and failing against his own strength, which served him well as her lush breasts pressed further into his chest.
“Someone’s getting handsy,” he murmured into her shoulder before brushing his mouth over the bruises he’d left at her neck. They’d heal soon enough but he’d likely replace them with more if the beast inside of him had anything to do with it.
Nesta only smirked, eyes alight with amusement. “I was bored.”
“Mother help us then.” She pulled against his hold once more and he relented, releasing her. And sure enough, she went back to his wings, this time her fingertips aimed for the top of the wing that was resting against the headboard.
He had half a mind to stop her but it would have taken more effort than he wanted in his still sleep-addled state. Even though her touch was featherlight, curious more than anything else, pleasure like a live wire ran through him with a dangerous current.
He groaned, shifting their bodies so she wouldn't feel his already hardening cock underneath her.
Alarm filled her face and she looked at him, her hand hovering a touch away from his wing, but no longer in contact with the sensitive skin.
“Does that hurt?”
”No,” he managed to bite out.
”You…it sounded like it did.”
He shook his head, reassuring her, catching his breath none too easily. “No it doesn’t. We just, Illyrians I mean, don’t allow anyone to touch the wings. I’m not very used to it.” Not that it was actually possible to ever be used to such a sensation.
“Why not?” A tentative question, softer than her usual voice.
“It’s just tradition. Illyrians consider their wings their pride. They are sacred to us. Unless you’re a healer and there’s an injury, nobody is allowed to touch our wings. It’s considered dishonorable. In some of the Northern villages I know they cut the hands off of those who do.”
Nesta flushed, pulling her hand back completely.
“I’m…very sorry. I didn’t know. I won’t do it again.”
Cassian only chuckled at the embarrassment flushing her face and he followed that lovely blush down her breasts. “I didn’t mean you.”
”But you said nobody is allowed.”
Cassian weighed his words. “They aren’t. To my knowledge, almost all Illyrians take it as a threat or an insult. But you’re my mate.” He added with a salacious grin, “You can touch me wherever you want.”
She scoffed at the innuendo, but mulled over his words before finally asking, “So what about mated Illyrians? Do they not allow their mates to touch their wings?”
He thought about it, shifting his wings closer inwards. “Maybe some do, but mates are rare. And of the few I know, they’re mating isn’t a very happy union so I would be surprised if there’s any trust at all between them.”
”That’s sad.”
He hummed, agreeing, but no longer wanting to dwell on other males and what they did with their mates when his own lay naked and on top of him. “You can touch. They’re just…sensitive.”
Nesta cocked her head and her hair slid down her shoulder in a river of silken golden-brown. “Sensitive how?”
He thought about it for a moment, how best to explain it, and finally settled on loosening his grip at her waist and dipping it between her legs.
”Like this.”
He used his thumb to stroke softly upwards against her clit, knowing it would be a sharp spike of pleasure.
Nesta let out half a shriek at the sensation and he laughed at her bewildered expression.
”Seriously?”
“Yes,” he chuckled. “As much as I enjoy feeling you up, I was answering your question. That’s the best I can describe it but it’s likely not exactly the same.”
Nesta leveled him with a stare he didn’t know what to make of, but he knew she was thinking something through. A moment later she pushed off of him, and he appraised her lethal curves as she knelt beside him. Her breasts practically begged him to taste them again and he lifted up on instinct alone. Only for Nesta to push him back down and hold him there.
“No. No touching,” she warned, letting her nails dig ever so slightly into his chest in warning. She gave a second warning by dragging her fingers over his mouth and he nipped softly even as she gave a small scowl. As if she knew all he wanted was to place them on her breasts and other parts of her until she was a crying, screaming mess.
But before he could argue for just one quick taste if nothing more, she was on him. Or rather, her fingers were on his wing, right at the center, dragging slowly down the vein running through it.
”Fuck,” he grunted, gasping for air while Nesta only smirked knowingly down at him.
She continued testing him, testing the sensitivity of different spots on his left wing, seeming to note his varied responses. He let her explore, let her laugh every few times when he almost shot up and screamed at the dizzying pleasure she was giving to him. But it would have to end soon because he could feel the primal urge in him to take awakening once more. And Nesta being completely undressed right beside him, curious fingers dragging over such sensitive parts of him, had him nearly blind with lust.
”Keep it up,” he warned, panting ever so slightly, “and you’ll regret it.” Nesta wasn’t even ruffled, only looking down at him quizzically before pulling the covers back off of him and exposing his painfully hard cock.
”Now that, does look like it hurts.”
”Maybe you should kiss it better,” he breathed out.
She only laughed, throaty and lazy with intent. “I will. Don’t worry.”
She let the hand that had been pushing his chest down drift south, lower and lower until she had grabbed his cock and tugged up in one fluid motion.
”Mother’s tits, Nesta. You’re going to kill me.”
”Not yet,” she promised with a dangerous smile.
He watched transfixed as she bent at her waist, hand still steadily stroking him, and licked at the head of his cock. And it was a new sort of torture, a new thing entirely, as she took him deeper in her mouth and worked the rest of his shaft with one hand, while her free hand found that spot she’d discovered on his wing that had him seeing stars, and stroked.
He couldn’t say anything anymore except her name. No string of curses or exclamations came close. All he knew was Nesta. All he felt was Nesta. Nesta everywhere, Nesta touching him, Nesta bringing him closer and closer to that shimmering release he knew he’d kill to reach.
Her and those damned fingers working him up just enough until pulling back. Over and over she brought him to that blessed precipice before moving away from his wing and that nefarious spot. Only to do it again. And again.
So fucking close as he tangled his fingers in her hair and pulled the strands back out of her face. Nesta’s mouth bobbed over his cock and he could see the faint outline of himself moving in and out of her throat. The sight alone nearly hurled him into climax. But he knew what would be his ruination.
Just as he knew he was close, he grabbed her hand and placed it to the spot she hadn’t discovered. It was right at the edge of his wing, level to his chest and it was a spot he barely touched himself due to how strongly it affected him. On nights when he was stroking himself and touching his wings in tandem, he rarely could touch there since the sensation was strong enough to bring him to his knees. He couldn’t finish himself off with it, but perhaps if he wasn’t the one in control…
Nesta didn’t let up, only slightly angling her head towards him to look up through her lashes, mouth still full of his cock. And if that sight alone didn’t make him come, her hand now at the spot he’d placed it most definitely would.
His hunch had been right, as she dragged a fingernail down and he clenched his teeth to keep in any cries as pleasure overtook his body. He saw the excitement in her eyes and how it only spurred her on. She took him faster down her throat, gripping his cock tighter in her hand just on the side of pain how he liked it. At the same time, she stroked that small hidden area on his wing and Cassian couldn't contain his moans any longer. The whimper he would swear he’d never made as she fucked him with her mouth and stroked his wing. The cries he couldn’t stop as she stroked him one more time before lowering her hand to squeeze his balls and suck him down deeper.
And then, Cassian was coming, in long, strong waves that he couldn’t think through let alone contain. He’d gone blind, seeing only stars as he kept chanting Nesta’s name over and over. Until he was so wrung out with pleasure there could be no way it was even possible.
And yet it was. It was and it had been and he would likely dream of it for years to come.
When sight and his other senses finally returned to him, he could only stare, sated, exhausted as Nesta swallowed his release. She seemed to appraise her work as she looked down at him, breathless and boneless, and he knew the smile she had meant she was quite proud of herself.
“Don’t look so smug,” he panted. “Last night you all but called me a god.”
She snickered, “I meant dog.”
But before he could volley something back, anything to save a shred of his pride, she had thrown a leg across him, straddling him tightly before leaning over and pressing her lips to his. He gave into the kiss greedily, relishing in her taste, the feel of her so close. He could taste his own release on her tongue and fuck him but it made him want her all the more.
Nesta didn’t give him a chance to catch his breath after breaking away. She had already switched to his other wing, slowly dragging a finger down the very spot she’d learned of through him on the other side.
He didn’t bother hiding his moan anymore, jerking his hips up into her own. He knew he’d already hardened. Nesta seemed to have noticed too.
”Now this is interesting indeed,” Nesta murmured. Her nails dragged down his chest leaving a searing path before she began grinding against his cock.
”Witch,” he muttered, watching her slide against his cock with ease. He could smell her arousal, could practically taste it, and if she hadn’t just brought him to an earth-shattering orgasm, he would have flipped them over and started another round of what they’d left unfinished the night before.
“Is that so?,” she questioned testily. “I could always leave.”
She lifted her hips up and off of him, leaving him desperate for more. Cassian reached for her hips but she pushed his hands away. He groaned unabashedly.
“Please.”
She smirked. She was enjoying this far too much. “Please what?”
He blew out a breath, aching to be inside her, only for her to rise higher up on her knees evading his grasp.
“Nesta.” He would try and forget the desperation in his voice later on, how he’d almost begged her to fuck him. Later. Right now though, he’d settle for anything she’d give him. “Nes.”
A good choice it would seem because she gave him a feline smile.
“I think I like you like this, Commander. Maybe consider asking nicely like this more often and I’ll treat you.” She leaned down and met his lips in a savage kiss he met with earnest. Fuck but this female had him wound around her finger, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.
Asking nicely? He’d beg next time if he had to.
Nesta sank down onto him without warning and Cassian couldn’t help the moan that escaped his lips, nor the way his hands instinctively went to grab at her hips, digging in as she clenched around him.
Nesta leaned down to drop a quick kiss across his lips. He lifted up to steal more but Nesta pulled away, going for his neck instead, biting down softly at its center.
“Let me hear that again,” Nesta murmured against his skin, before pulling away completely and leaving him reeling for more.
Cassian’s breath whooshed out of him and his witty retort was lost into the heated air between them as she began to ride him.
She wasted no time, already setting a fast and brutal pace above him, both hands steadied on his chest, nails digging in sharply. He welcomed that sting. Relished in it. In all that she was.
Cassian couldn’t catch his breath, couldn’t remember how to breathe, let alone speak. The only thing he knew was that this female would end him here and now, and he would gladly welcome it. If the end was in the form of Nesta Archeron riding him to ecstasy, how could a male complain?
When she slammed down onto him again, Cassian bucked his hips up to match her own and she half screamed, half moaned, her core squeezing him tighter. Her breasts shook with the impact of their vigorous fucking and Cassian waited all but a few moments before bracing himself up on arm and reaching for her with the other.
Wrapping a tight arm around her back, Cassian made sure not to hinder the delicious friction between their hips as he pulled her close. Close enough to close his mouth around one of her breasts, licking her nipple all while keeping his mouth tightly around her.
Nesta gasped at the sudden sensation and Cassian laughed as her tempo stuttered and her eyes fluttered at the distraction. Only for a moment though before she started anew, riding him quickly just as before, tangling her hand in his hair and placing the other on his braced arm on the bed.
He felt a burn awaken anew inside him at the close contact of their chests, their hands, her very skin gliding over his own in what he could only describe as tantalizing softness. He wanted to tell her that. Tell her what she was doing to him, to his body, his mind. But words were stolen from him in that moment as she moaned his name while he grazed his teeth against her nipple and simultaneously pinched the other one.
“Harder,” he somehow panted, biting at the underside of her other breast before placing an open mouth kiss on it. “Harder,” he whispered.
Nesta smiled wickedly and leaned closer, moving his head away from her breasts and towards her face. She kissed him brutally, biting his lower lip as she pulled away, leaving it stingly sharply with her memory.
Nesta detangled her hands from his body, lifting them up instead to brace onto the headboard behind him.
“Say please,” Nesta teased, actually slowing her movements down.
“Please,” he gasped out. “Gods please Nes. Harder.” Gods he was so close. He could feel the sensation beginning to form in his lower spine.
She let out a slow, cruel, breathy laugh before fucking him in earnest. Grinding herself onto him, thighs clenching down against his own taking him deeper than before, in flurried, frenzied movements.
“Fuck,” he laughed, his eyes rolling back in his head. “That’s my girl,” he moaned.
Nesta moaned his name as she grinded against him and Cassian hissed at the image above him. It could have been a portrait that he would happily have framed, although he doubted Feyre could paint her sister in such a way for him.
The light shone through Nesta’s hair, illuminating the different browns and golds as they writhed with her every move. Her skin glowed with immortal radiance- a goddess in Fae form. She cupped her full, lush breasts squeezing them, red with all the attention he’d given them. His cock slid in and out of her with ease and he nearly came to that alone.
She was beautiful, so beautiful, it nearly hurt to witness. Beautiful and fierce and wonderful and his.
Nesta clenched her inner muscles around him, once, twice and without warning his climax shot through him, impossibly strong considering all they’d done the night before. Nesta continued riding him through it all, fingers digging into his chest as he struggled to catch his breath. It was only when he’d considerably softened that she slid off of him, falling beside him on the large bed, careful of the outstretched wing she lay on.
Cassian was exhausted, and yet, it wasn't enough. None of it was enough no matter how long, how hard they kept at it. Nesta was silent and warm as she curled up into his side, and he pulled her closer with one arm. It was only after the buzzing in his brain from his explosive orgasam died down, did realization hit.
”You didn’t come,” he accused her. His fault really, but she hadn’t even complained. Not that she ever would, but still. It bothered him, so lost in the pleasure she was giving him that he’d come so easily. Too easily.
If this was Nesta from last year, she would have teased him about it. Quick off the mark indeed.
But instead she stayed silent, eyes shut, snuggling closer into him, golden skin glistening with the after effects of their lovemaking. How could he have been so stupid? Save for that one time when she’d touched him for the first time and he’d lost control like a young male, he never came before her. Ever. It was a point he made sure to follow through on, if for no other reason than to watch her come undone, which was far more satisfying than his own release.
“I’ll survive,” Nesta murmured into his chest. “I don’t even know how my body’s capable of having this much sex.”
Cassian snorted at that, absently carding through her hair. Neither did he but he wasn’t complaining. A few beats passed in comfortable silence before he was up again. Nesta complained quietly, missing the warmth of the makeshift pillow he’d been for her.
Cassian took his time climbing down her body, marveling in each exquisite curve, freckle and plane, kissing each wonder.
She was tired, he knew, but it hadn’t sit right with him that she had brought him to climax without any enjoyment out of it. Perhaps he’d said it out loud or maybe their bond really did work wordlessly because Nesta seemed to understand.
”I do enjoy it,” she murmured sleepily, adjusting as he spread her legs softly before placing them atop his shoulders.
”It’s different with you,” she continued on, the quiet rasp of her voice the only sound in the otherwise serene bedroom. “I don’t need to come and I usually do anyways. But I don’t need it with you. Because every time is…”
She struggled to find the words but he knew. He understood. How good it felt every time they joined their bodies in what he could only describe as a holy union. What else could be so perfect, so luxuriously wonderful, sinful and decadent, even without more guaranteed? It shouldn’t have been possible to just enjoy sex without expecting a release at the end of it, but somehow Cassian knew, it was with Nesta. And for her as well.
Perhaps it was because they were mates, and it was never just sex. He looked up at her from between her parted thighs, tasting her sweetness in one long swipe of his tongue. Nesta watched through half-lidded eyes, drowsy satisfaction replaced with newly kindling lust.
A goddess in Fae form, come to life, deigning to lay with him so long as he brought her pleasure.
He wanted to draw the pleasure out he decided as he sucked on her clit and pushed two of his digits in. Nesta fluttered around his fingers, moaning softly. She was still slick with his release from earlier and it would have been all too easy to add a third finger. Instead he opted to taste her again, noting the taste of his own release with her essence, knowing she would likely enjoy such a sight. From the way her lips parted in surprise, then arousal, he was right.
She slid her hands down her body, between the valley of her breasts, until they tangled in his hair. A gentle touch as he continued to taste her. It was a reminder to keep a softer touch, a milder pace. His mate was beginning to feel the effects of the frenzy and it was only the second day. He silenced that more primal part of him that roared to devour her, to taste her coming on his lips before ramming into her anew. It would have to wait for tomorrow, or whenever she was feeling renewed. He took his time, dragging out his work on her sex until she was mewling with contempt, hips aching and grinding against his mouth to finish her.
And when he knew she couldn’t possibly take anymore, he did. Nesta came in waves of subdued pleasure, and he pushed her through it with a steady thrust of his two digits into her, slowly, slowly, slowly.
Pulling a blanket up to wrap around them, Cassian carefully settled back down beside her. Just as before, Nesta curled up into his side, tangling their legs as he held her tighter, savoring the faint warmth of her breathing on his chest, the tickle of her hair over his bare skin, and her heart beating against his own, in tandem rhythm.
Summary: Nesta and Cassian mated on the night of Winter Solstice. But before they could mate properly, Cassian left soon after, leaving Nesta reeling and Cassian wanting more. When they mate under an official ceremony, with ancient magic, that mating call is renewed, and Nesta and Cassian are going to be in a frenzy. I.e. I wrote 20k fic full of smut.
Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV
~*~
Nesta awoke alone and cold, something she had already become unaccustomed to since she’d begun sharing a bed with Cassian. His body heat alone made nights and mornings warm and comfortable enough that sometimes she didn’t even need a blanket. And his presence alone was enough to ward off that stifling loneliness she’d grown up with inside of her.
Yet here she was, enveloped in a light, fluffy blanket that smelled like Cassian, with the real Cassian nowhere to be found. That and a tray heaping with food on the desk beside her. A small card lay beside the cut up fruit and buttered toast, and Nesta took it while grabbing a small piece of cake.
Lady Death,
I’m in the room down the hall. Do not come find me before eating. I will know.
Love,
Cassian
Nesta rolled her eyes at the nickname but got to work on breakfast. Delicious as it was, she was left wanting for company. Cassian’s company, but she’d sent a tendril of warmth down the bond and felt nothing back. Perhaps he was still sleeping.
Shame that considering that Nesta was beginning to feel the effects of the bond chafing on her.
Oh she’d been warned in advance by Feyre, by Emerie, and even Amren. How the vows and the ceremony would likely renew the mating bond’s initial frenzy in full force, maybe even stronger. And considering the fact that Cassian had opted for distance immediately after Solstice night, and she’d been left to weakly deal with the bond’s after effects without him, it would indeed be very strong.
Rhys had told Feyre, who’d passed on the message with a red face and far too much humor. That they didn’t understand how it worked, or why it even happened, just that if they missed that window of opportunity immediately after a mating to…well, mate properly, it would renew again when the time was right. Especially after Nesta had willingly accepted the bond and the old magic had been invoked by the ancient priestesses at their ceremony.
When Cassian had returned from Illyria, their joinings had been wild and passionate and far more frequent, so she could only wonder how they may become now.
With her breakfast finished and a new invisible thrum going on underneath her skin, her thoughts quickly eddied from speculation to downright imagination. Vivid images and flashbacks to all their raw, heated couplings filled her mind and Nesta bit down on her lip to hold in a moan.
Gods but they hadn’t fucked in days either since the planning of their mating ceremony had already been chaotic and rushed. The days leading up to it had gone into fixing up last minute arrangements and finalizing any loose ends.
She hadn’t meant to do it, but when she heard the sound of stirring from the room down the hall, Nesta couldn’t resist. She didn’t use the mating bond for this purpose, nor had they had it for very long, but it seemed appropriate given the situation. If anything, she only sometimes widened that thread between them to assure him that she was alright if she wasn’t home.
She let her thoughts flow down the bond untethered, unbound by any sense or propriety. There was no answering reply nor any sound. In fact, she found that the entire house had gone silent, as if it breathed and moved in example of Cassian. And Cassian, it would seem, had gone still.
It didn’t take long to wash her face and hands and run her fingers through her slightly sleep-mussed hair before going to look for Cassian.
She didn’t knock, didn’t even bother with speaking as she turned the doorknob and let herself in.
Nesta just barely held in her gasp as she surveyed the scene before her.
Cassian lay on his bed, head thrown back, his naked body on full display, wings spread out against the mattress as he fisted his cock.
Nesta must have made some noise, some indication of her presence because Cassian’s eyes flared open and his hand stilled as he met her eyes with his own lust-addled hazel ones.
Nesta forced herself to move. Forced herself to look away and close the door behind her, even though it was just them in the house. Something about it, about how she’d shut herself in with him, seemed to capture his interest. That and probably her slow walk towards the bed.
His hand had lowered to the base of his cock, and the tightness in his body had begun to dissolve, loosening the taut muscles.
“Starting without me?,” she murmured thoughtfully as she came to sit down at the foot of the bed.
He grunted, lowering his slightly raised his head back against the pillow, while still holding her gaze in that snare he’d caught her in.
“Don’t stop on my account then,” she tried again. She didn’t touch him, didn’t dare spoil her fun.
In all the times they’d fucked, she’d never seen him pleasure himself in front of her. Of course she knew he did it, especially if he was away or it was one of those nights they didn’t sleep together. But while she’d laid herself bare before him once, dipping her fingers into herself while he’d watched, she’d never been blessed with the same opportunity.
Cassian huffed a laugh finally, the tense look on his face dissipating as his hand circled around himself again, and he started anew. Working his way up the long member, only to twist harshly at the head, and quickly graze his thumb over the sensitive tip.
Gods but she wanted to taste him. Especially as a bead of moisture gathered at his head and he let it stay there, watching her knowingly as her eyes darted between his cock and his face.
Her breasts tightened, hell, everything tightened, and all she could hear was her own thudding heart and Cassian’s sharp intakes of breath with each pass of his hand. Cassian noticed that too. Her hardened nipples peaking through the thin nightgown. The press of her thighs tightly together as she sat on her knees, trying and failing to ignore the pooling wetness between her legs.
“Enjoying yourself?,” Cassian asked huskily, a wicked smile dancing on his face as he bucked into his hand again, moaning louder this time.
“Yes,” she answered without thought. Not a care in the world or any sense of shame between them. She would never tire of seeing his body, nor he her- especially not in the throes of pleasure. And they’d never been the type to shy away from that.
“Harder,” she pleaded with a whisper. He had been dragging this out, dragging his own pleasure out just to torture her. “Do it harder.”
Cassian didn’t.
“Is that what you want, sweetheart?,” he grunted. Always in control, even in the process of losing it.
She could only nod her head expectantly, leaning closer, noting the muscles in his thigh begin to shift, the muscles of his abdomen flexing as his breath began to saw out of him.
“Harder,” she commanded this time. She fought to keep the plea out of her voice. “I want to see you come all over yourself, Cassian.”
He moaned. “You’d enjoy that wouldn’t you, you little witch. Why not just fuck me yourself?”
She smirked, meeting his narrowed eyes. “I will. Soon enough. Right now though, I want to watch you come.” And then, just to win whatever game they’d begun, she added,”And then I want to taste you.”
Cassian’s breaths stuttered at her words but he finally listened, twisting and working himself harder, groaning with each pass.
Harder and louder just like she’d asked for.
Beautiful.
Nesta leaned forward, steadying one hand on his thigh, and the other on the side of his free hand. She couldn’t help herself as she slid her hand up his thigh, letting her nails scratch against his skin. It seemed to do the trick.
Cassian shouted her name as he came in thick, forceful waves, spurting all over his muscled stomach.
Watching Cassian come apart was always one of her favorite things to witness. More often than not though, it was on her knees or with him pounding into her. This unfettered access to his entire body, tensing and collapsing into his orgasm was so much more. She’d never grown up inclined to a religion. But watching Cassian come so beautifully, with her name on his lips? It was the sort of prayer she could willingly fall into worship.
He had gone slack, eyes shut as the last waves of his climax ebbed away. Nesta was still leaning over him, still pressing down a good amount of her weight on him, not that he seemed to care or notice.
Another breath shuddered out of him and the release still painting his stomach glistened from the movement.
Nesta just…moved.
Licking against his heated skin, feeling the shift of muscles underneath her tongue as she tasted the salty release. Cassian was watching her, she could feel it, but she ignored it as she finished cleaning off what he’d spilled onto his beautiful brown skin. The taste of his release in her mouth only renewed the fervor she’d entered the room with. She made sure to meet Cassian’s gaze as she swallowed, and watch the desire pool in the liquid hazel of his eyes.
She expected him to pounce on her. To pull her off of him and trap her under his strong arms, ravishing her till they were both exhausted. What she didn't see coming was the hand he raised to stroke her cheek gently. She couldn't help but melt into it, into that loving touch of his.
“You’re going to be the death of me, Nesta Archeron,” he uttered softly. As if it were a wish. A prayer.
She huffed a laugh against his palm, stretching languorously over his naked body, relishing the feel of him underneath her. Her peace didn’t last long as Cassian lifted the leg she’d been straddling, and pressed his thigh against her core.
He stopped suddenly, looking at her curiously, only to smirk with what she could only assume was cruel humor. She wasn’t wearing any underwear.
“Bold.”
Nesta bit her lip, refusing to give into his snark.
He chuckled as he moved slowly, pressing against her in the most delicious way possible. She couldn’t do anything except gasp as she felt his naked skin touch her unclothed core, grinding up against her clit and sex.
“Fuck, you’re so wet, Nesta,” he breathed.
Her hips moved of their own volition, grinding on his thigh as he met her each and every movement with his own. She didn’t care how debauched this had become. She cried out with every flex of Cassian’s hips as she chased her own pleasure against him. That need, that thrumming, beckoning need had risen so violently in her, she didn’t know what she’d do if she didn’t come soon.
Her hands slipped and Cassian quickly caught them at the wrists, steadying her without stopping. She ground herself harder against him, practically tasting her soon to be climax.
“That’s it, Nesta,” Cassian encouraged. “Use me just like that. Come all over me sweetheart.”
“Cassian, Cassian, I-oh,” she gasped as a bow snapped inside of her and blinding pleasure burst out. She might have screamed, might have even blacked out. Cassian held her through it all, through the crest and the fall until all that was left was the two of them, faces so close they were sharing the air.
It was Nesta who moved first. She climbed off of him, trying and failing not to blush as she saw the wetness she’d left on his thigh.
Cassian followed her gaze and his eyes darkened with appreciation. Of course he’d love the sight of it, the mess she’d made on him. His face promised all things dark and sinful as he appraised her.
“Take it off,” he commanded, pointing at her gown.
Nesta moved back. “You and your orders, Commander. Sometimes I think you forget who I am,” she said with the same lazy disregard he’d just given her.
Cassian pulled himself upright then.
“You’re my mate,” he snarled softly. Nesta’s heart thundered in her chest and if it were somehow possible, she felt herself get wetter. “I haven’t forgotten that. Maybe you’ve forgotten who makes you come, Nesta.”
Mother help her, this male.
His hand darted out quickly, moving between her legs, and testing the slide with her wetness. Nesta bit back a moan.
“You want to come again, mate?,” he taunted with a snap of his teeth.
She did. So much so that she had to force herself to not press her thighs closer together if only to ignore the building sensation between them. Cassian paid her no mind. A lazy smile was all he gave her as he slid two fingers inside of her.
Nesta whimpered, catching his wrist as he leaned forward to kiss at her neck.
“Take it off then,” he whispered against her heated skin, right before licking up from her pulse point to her jaw. “Take it off and I’m going to make you come on my hands, my face, and my cock until you can’t come anymore.” She shuddered, letting go of his hand, letting him do as he pleased between her legs, while she pulled down the straps of the gown, exposing her breasts.
Cassian was on them immediately, sucking and kissing, biting and pulling with so much zeal, she wondered if that’s all he’d been working towards this entire time.
It was also Cassian who rucked up the nightgown at her hips impatiently, reminding her of his earlier request. She pulled the nightgown up over her head, balling it up and throwing it to some corner of the room.
Cassian murmured appreciatively at her new nakedness, skimming his hands over her breasts, her stomach, until finally hauling her under him.
Nesta pulled him closer, kissing him fiercely in a way that made her blood sing. She had wanted to do that from the moment she’d woken up, before she’d come to his bed and he’d made her come. Had been dying for a taste of his lips, dying to feel them move against her own as his hard body pressed tighter onto her.
Cassian only broke away to kiss a path down her neck, her breasts, and lower still. When she figured out his intent, just as he’d begun to spread her thighs, Nesta pulled him back.
“No,” she spoke impatiently. “I need you. Just you.” There would be time for all of that later. To touch more, to feast leisurely. For now, she just needed him inside her.
He understood just as he always did, and Cassian was on her immediately, adjusting his already hard cock at her entrance before spearing forward. She almost screamed at the intrusion, at the burning pleasure he had awoken in her.
“So long,” Cassian murmured against her lips. Yes, it had been too long for them since their last joining.
Nesta could only greedily kiss back as he began to move. What began as slow, soft strokes quickly fell into quick, rough thrusts that had Nesta aching for more.
The noises she was making were almost mortifying but Cassian didn’t seem to mind. He swallowed one of her breathy, high-pitched whines with a kiss, darting his tongue around her own as he fucked her harder, deeper.
Nesta’s nails sliced into Cassian’s back as she began to feel her orgasm build, the scent of their sex and his blood filling the heady air in the room. She felt around for a moment, blindly grasping for something to hold onto or she feared she’d unravel completely. Her hands briefly fell onto his wing just as she began to fall, and Nesta held onto his shoulders as her back arched of its own accord.
Cassian came undone at her touch, crying out with her as he came too.
Time didn’t exist. The world didn’t exist. It was just them.
Just Cassian and Nesta. She could stay like that forever. Would have willingly had she not felt a sudden surge in her heart of hearts.
Cassian’s head, which had been pressed into her neck, rose with alarm.
She felt it again, that beautiful golden thread that had connected them always, only strengthened by Solstice night. And it tugged.
“Did you feel-,” she started, cutting herself off.
“I did,” he answered jaggedly.
“I can feel you,” she admitted. “More than…before.”
Cassian hummed, dropping a soft kiss to where her heart beat. “It’s the bond. It’s strengthening.” Something darkened in his gaze. Sharpened.
“I should warn you-,” he started, but Nesta cut him off.
“I know. It’s alright.”
Cassian didn’t seem convinced. “I don’t want to hurt you, Nesta. If it gets to be too much you let me know. Males tend to lose themselves a little in the frenzy.”
Nesta only kissed the underside of his jaw. “I trust you. Always.”
Cassian’s answering grin shouldn’t have made her laugh as much as it did. But it was the hardened, thick weight she felt fall between her thighs that stole her breath away.
“Already?,” she teased, slipping a hand down to stroke him gently.
Cassian cursed, thrusting into her hands, looking down between them to the open cradle of her thighs. He beheld her hand around his cock for a few more passes before moving it away. Instead, Nesta was tossed around onto her stomach while Cassian pulled her hips up.
He sheathed himself in one breath, effectively stealing hers in the process and Nesta could only moan incoherently as he began a new onslaught on her.
Surely, there had to be an end to the pleasure. To the burning desire. But even after making her come twice, there didn’t seem to be enough, for either of them. Nesta couldn't describe this clawing, hissing thing that had arisen in her. It begged to be fucked, to be touched and filled until sated exhaustion, which didn’t seem to be coming anytime soon. Never had she felt such a burning need for Cassian, nor he her she imagined. The bond was a thing of wonder, as was the frenzy, and Nesta gripped the sheets tighter as another climax ripped through her.
She couldn't scream anymore. Couldn’t make much sound at all as Cassian continued to fuck her from behind. She lifted her head slightly wanting to see just how undone he was. If he was anywhere near oblivion like she was.
Sure enough as she peered behind, Cassian’s face was enraptured. He met her gaze knowingly, pausing only for a moment to press a kiss to the back of her neck, her shoulders, before starting again. He slipped a hand down her back, before dropping it between her legs, teasing the apex of her thighs and that bundle of nerves so very slowly.
Nesta could only whimper, muffling her cry into the pillow as Cassian leaned forward, pushing himself deeper. She managed to raise a hand behind herself, spearing it into Cassian’s hair as he kissed a heated path down her neck.
“I know, Nes,” he whispered in her ear. “I know.”
She came with a silent scream and the world exploding in black and white.
A/N: The way that I am tired. I started this fic for @simpingfornestaarcheron way back in 2022. And it took me so long to get it here. We both wanted more of the mating frenzy that they allude to in the books and while the Solstice scene was beautiful, it just wasn’t enough. I wanted more. She wanted more. So, this one’s for you Beawulf.
Summary: Nesta and Cassian mated on the night of Winter Solstice. But before they could mate properly, Cassian left soon after, leaving Nesta reeling and Cassian wanting more. When they mate under an official ceremony, with ancient magic, that mating call is renewed, and Nesta and Cassian are going to be in a frenzy. I.e. I wrote 20k fic full of smut.
Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV
~*~
Cassian was no stranger to beauty.
He’d been alive for a very long time and a direct impact from that was the ability to experience a vast and ever changing world, where beauty could always be found.
He’d visited springs and mountains, explored new cities and ancient villages, some still standing today and others having crumbled away long ago. All had encompassed beauty of some sort, all of which Cassian could still recall to this day.
He’d met so many people in his life. Some were only beautiful on the outside and what lay underneath had been deceptively ugly. Others were pure from within, and the outside reflected. He’d had many lovers throughout his life, males and females of astounding beauty that he would also never forget, nor was he trying to.
Yet, even then, Cassian knew that the most beautiful thing he had ever seen in his life, the most beautiful that he would ever see in his life, was Nesta Archeron.
From the moment they’d met, the moment her eyes had slashed into his own, slashed into his heart, he’d known his world would never be the same. The world had faded away from around them, and all that lay at the center was her.
Nesta, Nesta, Nesta.
The wind had sighed her name incessantly around him, chattering presumptuously, as if he were some lovesick fool who would propose eternity together the minute she let him into her heart.
Of course, he was. He was that fool although he may never admit that aloud. Maybe to Nesta but only if she promised to keep it to herself. Which she wouldn’t, of course. And then he’d never hear the end of it from Gwyn or Emerie and worst of all, his brothers.
Nesta had taken his breath away the moment he’d looked at her all those years ago, angry and vicious, almost snarling with Fae contempt even when she was still delicately human.
Now it was her smile, soft and almost invisible, that took the breath straight out of his lungs and refused to give it back. Fitting, of course, since she’d stolen his heart too and would likely never let it be his own ever again. He’d never be alone again, and the thought was almost too consuming to ignore. He felt the tears well up in his eyes as she took the last step towards him, as Feyre and Elain each took her hand and placed it in his.
“Are you crying, General?,” she whispered softly between them as he pulled her up to the dais, a wicked, knowing grin beginning to overtake her face.
Cassian forced a grimace, blinking furiously as they settled and faced the priest. “Of course not. You know I have allergies. And you still let Rhys bring an entire garden into this place.”
Nesta rolled her eyes but didn’t respond. The only sign he had that he’d been caught was the press of her lips as she held in her laughter.
Cassian didn’t remember much of what the priestess was saying, only hearing when to turn and face Nesta, when to lift his hand to be tied by the ribbon, to lift the wine to her lips. All he could think of in those first few moments was her scent, her own mixed with whatever fragrance had likely been forcefully sprayed onto her by Mor. And her dress…
Cassian hadn’t been able to stop sneaking glances at it every time the priestess looked down at her prayer book. He’d expected a white dress, more conservative than what Fae fashion ever opted for, and essentially everything but what Nesta arrived in.
The dress was red.
Somehow, in some way, it was the exact red of his Siphons, all of which he’d kept on top of his Night Court garb, even against Mor’s insistence. Nesta had asked him to keep them on weeks ago, and he hadn’t questioned it until he’d seen the dress. Feyre had remarked offhandedly once that she planned to paint the pair and the view of them standing at the dais together as they were mated. Now he understood just how beautiful it would look on canvas.
Cassian in black courtly finery, gilded with silver threads and buttons, embellished only by the ruby from his Siphons, would serve as a striking contrast to the brightness of Nesta’s ruby dress, setting off a light against her skin that seemed to make her glow.
Lady Death swathed in bloodred with her dark Lord of Bloodshed beside her.
He’d always hated the title and how it had grated on his nerves each time he heard it. But today, in that moment, it seemed to fit perfectly.
They said their vows, reciting them after the priestess, and made their agreements to the mating. Nesta had smiled so joyfully, so freely as she’d said “I do,” that any thought of hesitation, any worry that she didn’t want this completely left his mind.
The priestess made some more prayers in an Ancient Language that he could only partly understand, with Nesta looking wholly lost, and then it was done. The priestess declared it so and took her step back.
This was the only part he knew he would have down perfectly. Nesta seemed to know the train of his thoughts and he heard a soft scoff leave her, even as she took a step forward, matching him.
“Nes…,” he started, already grinning.
Nesta rolled her eyes. “Bat.”
Then she reached up with her free hand to pull his face down, rising up on her toes as she sealed his mouth to his in a kiss that Cassian could feel in his soul. In the thread that tied them together from within.
His. She was his.
Cassian deepened the kiss, pulling her even closer, and Nesta welcomed it. It was only cheers and whistles behind that had Nesta pulling away from him. A slight blush stained her cheeks and he knew it was from the bold display, so different from how they often interacted in public. He smiled knowingly as she turned away from him, rolling her eyes.
Emerie had screamed her congratulations when they’d come across her and Nesta had been temporarily whisked away as the pair spoke in excited whispers. He knew Gwyn had tried her best to muster the courage to come and for that alone, he was immensely proud of her.
Azriel had clapped him on the shoulders before enveloping him in a rib crushing hug. Rhys had joined in soon after. Azriel had placed a kiss on Nesta’s cheek before hugging her as well, murmuring something in her ear that had made her laugh joyously. Cassian had reveled in the sound, in the life and true happiness it signified for her.
It took what felt like ages to make their way down the aisles and greet their various guests, accepting their many blessings and congratulations. Cassian noted that the blush he’d caused from kissing Nesta so boldly had not faded through it all. It sent a ripple of satisfaction through him to see it.
It was only when they made their way back to their seats, a table set up now where the priestess had confirmed their bonding ritual, that Cassian had a chance to speak to Nesta.
Making sure everyone else was milling around conversing, busy with filling up their plates with the rich variety of foods Rhys had bought, or finding their seats, Cassian leaned closer to Nesta. Holding the hand ribboned to his own tighter, he dragged the back of his free hand down her cheek.
“The things I’m going to do to you Nesta Archeron…this blush is going to pale in comparison then.”
Nesta flushed again and pushed away from him, shaking her head.
“Lech,” she admonished sharply, but he could feel the faint amusement in her voice. “There are people here. Children,” she pointed out, nodding at some younglings running around with sparklers.
“Everyone is too busy getting food. They’re not paying attention to you,” Cassian dismissed. Then, just because he wanted to incite another reaction out of her, he leaned close and whispered in her ear, “Not the way I’m going to the minute we’re out of here.”
Nesta pursed her lips but he could see it all too well. She was trying not to react, not to laugh, and she so badly wanted to.
“Lech,” she remarked again, before pointedly looking away from him. Just in time as Feyre swooped in to check on them and Cassian was forced to keep his innuendos to himself.
He let himself get a little creative when they took their first dance, an old Night Court waltz that he hadn’t done in centuries. Nesta glided with ease as he led them through it, and with the orchestra playing loudly enough to drown them out, Cassian took all the liberty he could with whispering filthy musings into Nesta’s ear every few turns. The crowd would only see Nesta laughing every so often as Cassian spoke nondescript words to her, wholesome to their eyes and completely unaware of just how lecherous he could be.
“You’re disgusting,” she whispered, just as the orchestra crescendoed to their end and he dropped her into a low dip, catching her only with a hand on the back of her neck, the other holding her calf up high.
Cassian smirked. “You love it.” Then he lowered his face to kiss her, still holding her in that final, finishing pose. Nesta, to his surprise, kissed him back with just as much fervor and continued doing so even as he pulled her up and set them both upright. The cheers were thunderously loud when they pulled apart and Nesta laughed alongside Cassian before tucking against his chest. Cassian brushed a kiss over her head as he looped a hand around her waist and led them off the center of the stage, welcoming the warm press of her body into his.
Dinner could have dragged on for centuries as far as Cassian was concerned. There were varied courses that Cassian barely ate, performances and acts put on from the various courts that were invited, all of whom Cassian politely watched but barely enjoyed.
All he cared about was getting himself and Nesta out of there and burying himself in her for hours and hours on end. Already he could feel the magic thrumming under his skin. The ancient call to claim, to touch, to taste.
He had no idea how it worked. No one did. But he knew from the stories that mates, even those who may have consummated the mating privately, would feel that claiming instinct renewed with an official ceremony. Perhaps it was just another way to make sure a youngling was assured sometime in the near future. That was what Rhys had always thought. Some thought it to be the works of the Mother, others preferred to remember different deities.
The priestess residing over ceremonies could sometimes invoke the boons of fertility and love and a good marriage from the older Goddesses that few still continued to worship.
Whatever it was, Cassian was itching out of his own skin and he knew it wasn’t going to end for at least a few more hours.
“What,” Nesta hissed slowly into his ear, “is wrong with you?”
Cassian scratched the back of his neck subtly. “I told you not to put these many flowers here.”
“Bullshit, you took a tonic for the pollen. I saw you. Why are you looking so…feral?”
Feral indeed. That was the only apt enough description for the roiling emotions going through him. That and the sheer instinct that was becoming increasingly more difficult to ignore. Cassian tried not to look at her for too long. He knew if he did it would only worsen things.
“Cassian-“
Cassian growled in frustration. “Nesta if you don’t stop talking to me within the next twenty seconds, I’m going to throw you onto this table and fuck you while everyone watches.”
Cassian didn’t look but he felt the shock stillness that went through her. Felt rather than saw the interest that he’d sparked. And the arousal.
While Cassian had honed his self control over centuries of brutal fights that forced him to act with intelligence rather than impulse, everything about Nesta set him off in the wrong direction. Anything she said, anything she did, was enough to wither that self control to a weak, futile impulsivity that had only ever gotten him in trouble.
Nesta backed away slowly and settled back into her chair. Only for a few moments though before she waved her hand and Feyre suddenly materialized next to them. She’d worn a dark maroon, almost black dress that seemed to writhe around her as she approached Nesta. Cassian didn’t know what was happening between them but he knew they were likely talking mind to mind.
Elain had opted for the same style of dress, only in a pale peach that suited her complexion better than any of the dark colors the rest of the Night Court favored. The three of them had looked every bit sisters though when they’d walked Nesta up to him at the dais and handed her to him. Such care between the three of them now, it was almost impossible to believe how rocky it had been months ago. He knew though that while Nesta and Feyre had become closer after Nyx’s birth, her and Elain now had a tenuous almost strained relationship.
But he knew they were trying, Nesta was trying again, and he’d support her in however much she needed or didn’t need from him.
A few minutes later Nesta was getting up, Cassian being pulled up behind her by Feyre.
“What’s happening?,” he asked, almost tripping over his feet as he snuck a look back behind himself at the festivities still going on. “Won’t people wonder where we are?”
Nesta didn’t answer but Feyre snorted, replying, “Please. With the amount of wine that Rhys bought for this ceremony, I’m pretty sure no one even knows why they’re here right now, let alone that you two are leaving. Don’t worry about it.”
Before he could ask again if it was truly alright to skip out on his own mating ceremony, Feyre nabbed his wrist tightly and he felt the familiar pressure of winnowing surround him and push at him. As soon as it had begun it was also over, and the world fell back into place around him just as his feet met ground.
Ground, not stone, because they were no longer in a hall or palace or courtyard in Velaris. No, he’d know this place even blinded, by the feel of the air and the smell of the earth alone.
Nesta walked up to the house, closer than Feyre and Cassian, simply staring with what seemed to be wonder.
Cassian let her.
If he wasn’t proud of anything else that he’d accomplished in his life, this house wasn’t one of them. He’d put his blood and sweat into building it, literally at some point, and the years it had taken was worth all the effort in the end.
“What…,” Nesta trailed off.
“Thank you, Feyre,” Cassian murmured, and Feyre squeeze his shoulder in response.
He waved at her as she stepped back from them. She winked at him. "Enjoy yourselves children. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”
Nesta laughed, waving back right before Feyre winnowed away, leaving them alone in front of the house he hadn’t returned to in months.
Cassian wound his arm around Nesta’s waist and led them to the door. Nesta didn’t ask where they were again, but he knew the question still lingered on the tip of her tongue.
“It’s my home in Illyria. This is where I stay when I’m doing work here.”
Nesta watched him curiously for a moment before looking up at the two stories looming up above them. It was no mansion but it also wasn’t a hovel, or worse, a raggedy tent that could barely withstand the elements. It had been a splurge on his part to buy all the parts, plan out the detailings of the inside of the house and make it something his childhood self would have loved to have had when his life had consisted of only cold winters and barely there meals.
“Cassian,” Nesta spoke gently, pulling him from his memories. Cassian met her gaze, the stormy blue looking electrifying with the darkness surrounding them. She raised a palm to his cheek. “Where did you go?”
Cassian shook his head, discarding the old memories. It wasn’t the time. Now was the time for new memories and new moments, and he wouldn’t mess it up. He procured the heavy key from his pocket, handing it to Nesta.
Nesta’s brows rose in surprise but she took it all the same, inserting it into lock and twisting carefully. Almost as if she were being gentle. Safe.
Cassian pushed the door open and before she could step over the threshold, Cassian reached over and picked her up, carrying her over it.
She began swatting at him almost immediately. “What are you doing? Let me down, bat.”
Cassian laughed as he kicked the door shut behind them. “New brides have to be carried over the threshold. Feyre told me it’s tradition.”
Nesta rolled her eyes but he didn’t miss the fondness in her expression, even as she crossed her arms across her chest. “Human tradition. It’s not your tradition. And it’s silly.”
“But it’s yours, isn’t it?,” he asked gently as he led them deeper through the main living room and the smaller joining parlor. “You deserve to keep some of your human traditions intact. Hell, keep them all if you want. I don’t care.”
Nesta didn’t say anything but he saw the small smile that lit up the corners of her mouth right before she pressed her head closer to his chest. He placed a small kiss at her temple as he adjusted his hold on her and began making his way upstairs.
Cassian had known how difficult it had been for her to give up her human life. Little everyday reminders also didn’t help. In the days after Nesta had told she wanted to be mated, everything had been a flurry of meetings in Illyria regarding the Blood Rite along with meetings with boutiques and caterers for the ceremony. They’d originally planned to do it as soon as possible but a few days had stretched into a week, and a week into three. Cassian had had no idea just how much preparation went into weddings. And it would be a wedding.
Nesta may have asked for a mating ceremony, but only the week before she’d nearly run away from him terrified of even the word “mate.” She’d told him clear as day that in her world, husband and wife was as good as it got and he’d blown up with anger at her. He’d taken fear as rejection and confusion as regret, neither of which were true when it came to Nesta’s feelings for Cassian. They’d talked it all out eventually. It was needed, he knew that, and when she’d come to him suddenly wanting to call off the ceremony because she worried he didn’t care for her enough, he’d known it was time to clear the air. Even after they’d agreed on what was needed for the future, their future, he knew he needed to do more than just say pretty words.
So Cassian had sat through every cake tasting and every bridal shop’s color panels. He’d listened to every wish Nesta expressed she wanted to have and made sure it would be done. They’d incorporated details of a traditional human wedding into the Fae customs, making sure the priestess would say a mixture of both Fae and human wedding vows for them.
It had been three days before their ceremony when Cassian had come from a meeting with Eris in the Spring Court. Nesta had chosen to stay behind that day and use it to relax with Emerie and Gwyn in the House. When he’d returned, neither of the girls were with his mate and he was already on edge from trading verbal blows with Eris. Nesta hadn’t been in their room or her old one, nor in the library. It was only after climbing up the highest levels did he find her sitting on a ledge overlooking Velaris, a thick window separating her from plummeting over.
She’d been crying- the scent of salt and sadness had been thick in the air when he’d found her.
“Sweetheart.”
But she hadn’t looked up at him. Hadn’t even turned around. So he’d done the only other thing he could think of.
He’d joined her in silence until her tears had dried to what he knew had to be itchy invisible streaks on her cheeks. She had climbed off the ledge and into his lap eventually and after a little more silence, Cassian had taken her down to bed.
Nesta had spoken in a broken whisper into his chest, “There’s no one to give me away.”
“Hmm?,” he’d asked confused, carding his hand lightly through her hair.
Nesta had sniffled. Had pressed deeper into his side before replying. “It’s tradition. Stupid tradition. At our weddings fathers give the bride away. I never thought I’d care about that before but now, he’s just…gone. And he will never see it. He won’t give me away, he won’t see me married. He won’t know you and how wonderful you are. He won’t see our children. None of it.”
Cassian had listened silently, his heart cracking at her admission. He had never thought of it. There was no such tradition for the Fae and even if there was, Cassian had gone a lifetime without his mother. And even though her absence haunted him sometimes, he had lost her young enough to have very few memories of her. Had lost her for long enough so that some things truly didn’t pain him. But for Nesta, whose loss was still so fresh, it shouldn’t have been such a surprise to him that she was still struggling with his absence.
Cassian hadn’t been able to say anything to comfort her. So he had only held her tighter to him as if that alone could hold her together.
The next day he’d made sure to speak to Feyre about it and the sisters had decided to walk Nesta down the aisle together. Nesta had been elated to hear it and he’d breathed a little easier when he saw it.
Nesta began squirming in his arms, pulling him from his memories.
“Put me down Cassian. I’m serious.” She batted a hand uselessly at his chest but Cassian wouldn’t budge.
“I’m serious too, wife,” he replied with a snap of his teeth, “We’re doing this the right way.”
He didn’t miss the blush that dusted her cheeks at his newfound favorite word. He would always see her as his mate first, but for her, the word wife sent Nesta into a panicked, stammering, blushing mess. He never saw her so undone and he loved every minute of it.
It was only when they reached the first floor at the top of the stairs that he set her down softly. Nesta let her arms drop from around his neck slowly, her nails lightly raking along his skin as she pulled away. Cassian swallowed the growl that had threatened to rise to the surface at that innocent touch. Although knowing Nesta, there was absolutely nothing innocent in its intention.
Nesta stared down the hallway for a few breaths before finally turning towards him with a knowing glint in her eye. “Why don’t you give me the tour Commander?”
“How about you all the way down to that bedroom at the end of the hall and make yourself comfortable? It’s the only place you’re going to be in for most of this stay anyways.”
Nesta scoffed, rolling her eyes.
“Bathroom’s just on your left,” he added with a wolfish grin.
Nesta laughed at that, undoing the ribbon that had bound their hands together up until then. He didn’t mind, didn’t even care, knowing they’d consummated this union in so many ways, so many times by now, it didn’t matter anymore.
“You know what? Maybe I’ll go take a bath actually. I need to wash all this shine and rouge off. How about you go to the bedroom and make yourself comfortable?”
Before he could reply Nesta took a step closer, brushing her mouth over his. “After all, it’s the only place I’m going to keep you in for most of this stay anyways.”
Cassian laughed long after she’d locked the door to the bathroom on him, and long after he heard the water turn on too.
He made his way down to the lower levels of the house while he waited for her, washing off in a smaller bathing room he kept next to the birchin. The need that had been thrumming under his skin since they’d left their own mating ceremony had only intensified in the last hour. But the more Cassian thought about it, about how long the day had been and how exhausted Nesta had to be, the more he hesitated. He knew that once the magic took effect it would be hard to stop.
It had taken so much willpower the night after Solstice day for him to leave her there in the bed, still naked and smelling like sex and himself. So much willpower and they hadn’t even properly mated to the point of sated exhaustion. He’d avoided that mating frenzy that so often took over couples for weeks, sometimes months on end just by leaving her vicinity.
But he knew that now, especially with an official ceremony, with vows spoken and resided over by a priestess of the very magic that supplied all of Prythian, that mating claim would renew once again.
And once Cassian had a taste, he wasn’t going to let go quite so easily.
Nesta had just slipped into his bedroom, in a silky, very short, black gown, interrupting all of his musings on the mating bond.
“Is that supposed to cover your ass too? Looks like it’s in Amren’s size.”
Nesta only toweled her damp hair slowly, cocking her head as she looked at him with wicked intent. “If you don’t like it Cassian, I can always just take it off.”
Cassian barked a laugh. She’d be the death of him. “Go ahead, Nes. I like a good show before bed.”
Nesta threw her towel at his head. Cassian ducked, grabbing it and just barely catching her mutter “Pig,” under her breath.
To his delight, Cassian didn’t have to go running after her as Nesta crawled onto the bed, lying down beside him. Cassian looked down at her, at the hair fanning out around her and before he could stop himself he was leaning down to drop a kiss on her lips.
One kiss became two and two became many, many more. Somehow he’d ended up on top of her, their legs intertwining while Nesta bunched her fingers into his hair and tugged. Cassian took a breath, breaking away.
“Touch me,” she begged, flushed, out of breath. Because he hadn’t been. Because he’d been keeping it clean and simple, something neither of them ever did for very long when it came to sex.
Cassian ran a finger down her neck, past her fluttering pulse, and then lower.
Lower. Her chest heaved under his hand, breasts already pebbled and begging for him to taste, to bite. And Gods above he wanted to do it, to do all of it. But-
“No,” he finally managed to grind out. “You’re tired. It’s been a long day for both of us. I won’t be able to stop if we- don’t look at me like that Nesta. You’re the one that’ll regret it then.”
Nesta blew out a breath. “I don’t care.”
“I do.” He pressed a small, quick kiss to her lips before lifting off of her and getting off of the bed. “Go to sleep Nesta. I’ll still be here tomorrow.”
Before he could change his mind, or worse, Nesta did something to change it for him, Cassian left his bedroom with his mate in it.
He cursed as she tugged on the bond, hard, and sent him some very clear, very lewd thoughts and emotions on what she wanted from him. What he’d been desperately craving himself. He shut down the connection, ignoring his own rumbling desire pulling under his skin, and pretended he didn’t hear her muttered curses down the hall as he forced himself to fall asleep.
