Tjeff: The hell is that guy wearing? He looks like a clown!
Burr: Thomas, literally every article of clothing on your body is purple.
Tjeff: … I don’t see your point.
Sounds like someone I know

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@arisamorak
Tjeff: The hell is that guy wearing? He looks like a clown!
Burr: Thomas, literally every article of clothing on your body is purple.
Tjeff: … I don’t see your point.
Sounds like someone I know
don’t talk to me or my 500 pidgeys ever again
u know the thing where boys have the slightest bit of tummy and its like a puppy belly and its so cute and soft and it kinda comes out at the sides of their jeans a tiny bit i looooooooooooooooooveee that i love it i love
honestly my favourite thing about making this post is that a bunch of guys who were/are insecure abt their tummies messaged me and told me that this made them feel good and warm u go tummy boys u go
My love has a puppy belly and it freaking adorable as hell, I just want to thank for giving it a name that cute
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Okay, hear me out:
Someone gets a knock on their head and gets amnesia. They don’t remember who they are, where they are, or what they’re doing, but they are convinced they’re in a relationship with another character because, well, obviously they are. They love them. So much.
*Clearly* they’re married, or at least courting. And they’re so *relieved* that they can sorta remember this other person since everything else is a total blur.
The thing is that they weren’t courting. Just pining pining pining for each other without knowing it was requited.
So is it Thorin getting a knock on the head that makes him forget everything except how he loves Bilbo?
Or is it Bilbo getting a knock on the head that makes him forget everything except how he loves Thorin?
And are they told the truth right away or not? >:)
I am going to tackle this for Valentine’s Day … I’ll let everyone know … IF you guys are interested. (Oh and it will be super angsty … just to warn you)
is that a challenge.....I HAVE SURVIVED SANSUHK......YOU UNDER ESTIMATE MY POWER!!!!!!! (can’t wait for it though)
Gimme your best stuff.
oh, my god MY PEOPLE
Can I make this a story please?😳
let’s stop seeing sex as the biggest thing you can do to show someone you love them
everyone knows that the real way to show someone you love them is to find them a really cool rock. not a diamond. just a neat rock that you think they will enjoy
Not a rock THE ARKENSTONE
Why just one rock Why not three Why not the silmarils
#i’m pretty sure there’s an entire book on the topic ‘why not silmarils’ (x)
And one on why not the arkenstone
You’re right. Just get them a ring.
Pretty sure there is an entire series on why not a ring....
The trouble is not really in being alone, it’s being lonely. One can be lonely in the midst of a crowd, don’t you think?
Christine Feehan (via wordsnquotes)
Dark prince her first ever book in the carpathian series
STRANGE SENTENCE STARTERS —— for the creative writer in you. Send these in and see what your partner comes up with as a scenario!
“How many times are you going to do that, exactly?”
“I had good intentions, I did it for a reason.”
“We’re done. I’m done. This ends right now. You’re a monster.”
“I trusted you!”
“Is that supposed to scare me?”
“Put the knife down.”
“You were right. As per usual.”
“Sometimes it’s hard to see the lines you’ve drawn until you’ve crossed them.”
“You’re surprised because you have a soft spot for hot blondes.”
“Why protect my reputation? I’m a dead man either way.”
“You think you know me, as others think they know you.”
“You can stay, but for no more than two nights.”
“Please don’t look in this drawer. Please.”
“I told you not to pick him up, he’s very sensitive.”
“Yes. I might have given you rabies. But in my defense, that’s ridiculous and I didn’t.”
“I’m sorry, my cell phone data coverage does not cover the bullshit zone you’re in.”
“I was prepared for anything, except for what ensued.”
“The story lingers on, but the version that is drawn is twisted,.”
“You think I’m kidding. But I’ve never been more serious about anything in my entire life.”
“How much would a stripper cost and why so much?”
“I’m going to buy you a drink. Next week. On Thursday. When I get paid. Can you swing this one?”
“There are two sides to every story.”
“When I was little, I used to be afraid of mummies. And now look at me. I love dead people!”
“What made me think that I could get away with such a plot?”
“Because nothing says heterosexuality like a gold sash.”
“Please don’t take it out on my boobs.”
“When it gets really windy I look like a bizarre combination of Marilyn Monroe and Cousin It.”
“I’ll never be a hero.”
“How much money do you have on you?”
“Please tell me that’s a raisin and not a tiny hamster shit you’re eating.”
“Life is a lot better when you put things on your head.”
“For someone who’s not very deep, I’m incredibly not shallow.”
“I need you to remind me what it feels like to love you.”
“I love you. What? No I don’t. Forget I said anything.”
“If we got married, would I have to take your last name? Or could we just make up a new one?”
“I don’t think I can do this anymore.”
“I heard you say his/her name in your sleep last night. Want to explain or should I just leave?”
“I want to spend the night with you tonight. But I also want to sleep on your side. And without you on the bed. So technically I just want your bed.”
“Please don’t be proposing to me in an empty parking lot.”
“Stop saying you’re sorry, you stupid fucking broken record. It’s done.”
“I’m not jealous, I’m curious. About the things you were doing. With him/her. Without me.”
“Your mother’s looks could kill. Actually, are you sure they haven’t before?”
“If you’re breaking up with me tonight, can I at least eat first?”
“Stop sweating. It’s not attractive during sex, and it’s not attractive now.”
“Are you – are you checking me out? In the line for the confessional?”
“We have to go. I might have told your mom I’m pregnant. I don’t know why I said that. I’m not.”
“So what you’re saying it that you’re snorting sugar to get excited for sex.”
“My dog licks better than you do.”
“But through every stupid thing you do and say – and those are a lot, by the way – I love you.”
“I don’t care if you’re growing another head. I’ll talk to both of them. I love you.”
“And I’d take fifty years of not talking to you for just a day of doing so. I promise that’s a compliment.”
“I don’t want to hide this anymore. I’m not some dirty little secret, you American Reject.”
“This is a bit too dramatic for my taste, so can we skip it and have sex instead?”
“I don’t want you to think of me as your personal sex toy.”
“Thanks and all, but that makes me feel like a low-class escort, so.”
“A kiss in exchange for every nice thing you say about me. Deal?”
“Promise me you’re not like him/her. I need to hear it from your mouth. Promise me.”
“Look, I’ve had my heart broken before. I’m not ready to let you in just yet. Anywhere.”
“Don’t leave me here. Anywhere else, okay, but not here.”
“I wish I could say that was the worst sex I ever had, but I’ve had worse.”
“I just blew you. Could you look a little happier about it?”
“I’m attracted to shiny things, so if it looks like I’m staring at your chest, it’s because I am.”
“What is that!?”
“Oh my god, were you shot!?”
“Give me the gun. Now.”
“Hello? Anyone in there?”
FOR TEXTERS;
[text] This is upsetting.
[text] Hey, are you up? If you’re not, can you wake up? I need some help.
[text] She said that to you? Why?
[text] Please come back. I miss you.
[text] What are you good for if you’re not gonna bring me ice cream?
[text] Can you ignore that last text? It wasn’t meant for you. I’m sorry.
[text] …did you just send me a nude?
[text] I don’t know why I said that.
[text] Leave it to you to fuck the simplest of requests up.
[text] Do we have to go to their wedding? He’s only my first cousin.
[text] How much does ‘I love you’ mean to you?
[text] I am not stalking you. But you should do something about your bathroom, it’s gross.
[text] Please. I need this so badly.
[text] I trust you completely.
[text] I’m a genius. You’re a peasant. Everything makes sense again.
[text] Hey, buddy! Got like, five hundred bucks I can borrow? Times ten.
[text] She lost it. She completely lost it.
[text] Please? I love you.
[text] I think I’m gonna go to sleep now, but you keep thinking that.
[text] I can’t say this out loud. They might be listening.
[text] I never meant to hurt you.
[text] You’re cute.
[text] I just need you to understand how important you are to me.
[text] Fuck off.
[text] Okay. Guess we’ll leave it at that then.
[text] Why should I believe you?
Yessssss
I demand more fics about Watson meeting John and finding out that in their time gay marriage is legal and being like, so when do you plan to propose and John is like “we’re not a couple” and Watson is like “WHY THE FUCK NOT”
So John is whining about not being a couple with himself? Jesus under Watson is his full name did you by any chance mean Sherlock?
I want to _____ you.
reblog and see what your followers say
Interesting..
I’VE LITERALLY HAVE NEVER DONE ANYTHING TO YOU PEOPLE
I was just reblogging for the above post I didn’t think I’d get any
apparently you guys want to do a lot of different things with/to me
Okay, guys. Go ahead. I know what’s coming.
*cautiously reblogs this*
BAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I’LL GET NOTHING! :’D
Lets see what i get XD
I doubt I’ll get anything but I’ll give it a shot.
Meh
👀 A cucumber,duct tape,& baby oil
Rope, Candy, Sleeping Pills
Rope, dog leash, o ring
razor blades, apples and caramel
I JUST WANT TO KNOW HOW SHE FOUND OUT SHE COULD EVEN DO THAT
just juggling some basketballs and one day wonders, could i do this with my feet?
So. How bad is it that I am REALLY looking forward to Dis dying and being reunited with all of her loved ones and seeing her parents and her brothers and her sons and VILI (oh god, Vili, you heartbreaking sod, you, visiting her EVERY DAY) and just being able to let go of all of the emotions she's held in for so long and - oh god. I just want her to be able to be happy. But also dead. And maybe making fun of Thorin because what else are younger sisters for?
Oooh, Nonnie.
Whatever you do, don’t imagine her reunion with her parents. Thrain running his thumb gently across her face, across her cheekbone and stroking the side of her beard. Don’t imagine him smiling at her with trembling lips, telling her that he is so proud, nathith, so proud. Don’t imagine Fris wrapping her arms around her last child and holding her to her heart; don’t imagine Thrain tugging them both close and tight, cocooning them with his body, pressing whiskery kisses to his daughter’s temple. Don’t imagine the words they would say. Don’t imagine the tearing sound of Dis’ sobs.
Don’t imagine her grandfather kissing both her cheeks and her forehead, and then gathering her close. “Sparrow, our little sparrow,” he would murmur, and she would remember what it cost to lose him, what it cost all of them. Her grandmother’s clever hands stroking Dis’ hair, her soothing, no-nonsense voice, calling her “Dis, darling,” as she did, so so long ago. They have the same hands.
Whatever you do, don’t imagine her reunion with her (little) big brother. It has been centuries, she can’t even remember him clearly, but at the smell of his hair and the sound of his voice, it comes rushing back, so fast and powerful it is nearly a physical blow. His weight against her is so small, so slight.
Whatever you do, don’t imagine her reunion with her sons, her madcap bright-eyed darlings. Don’t imagine her crying into their hair. Don’t even entertain the idea that she cannot stop kissing them even for a moment, her grasping hands frantic, her eyes half-blinded by her tears, gripping their clothes so tightly that her arms shake. I’d advise against dwelling on the whiteness of her knuckles, the tenderness in her kisses, how her head bows and her shoulders shudder at the sound of those voices calling her ‘Amad’ again, at long last: Amad, Amad, we missed you Amad.
Whatever you do, don’t think of her pressing her forehead against Dain’s, her cousin, her borrowed-brother, and cursing him for leaving her as well as he throws his arms around her and rocks her back and forth. The last one, she was the last one. Don’t think of Dain gently prying free and wiping her eyes (hopeless, a hopeless task) before turning her around to face the one standing behind her. Don’t picture him giving Dis a little push towards her eldest brother.
You definitely shouldn’t visualise the look in her eye as she stares at Thorin, stricken. It’s not a good idea to imagine the harsh rasp of her breathing as she curses him and curses him, twice as hard as she ever did Dain, all the while stumbling over to him and throwing herself at him with outstretched arms. Don’t imagine how she clings to him as though he is a tree against a storm, how she buries her head against his shoulder and cries and cries, her whole body wracked with it, and he too smells just the same.
And the last thing you should ever do is imagine her greeting her husband.
No, you shouldn’t do that at all.
And there goes my heart, soul, mind, and sense of well being. Dets you are hell on a person's mental and emotional stability. I should sue for a faster happy ending.
I want to write an alternative version of Romeo and Juliet where instead of being a little ponce and trying to work things out for himself, Romeo asks his smarter friends what to do about the whole thing and Benvolio and Mercutio come up with the world’s greatest plan:
Marriage of convenience between Juliet and Mercutio.
Think about it.
Juliet’s parents want her to marry into the Prince’s family. Mercutio is a good compromise between no marriage and Paris.
Mercutio probably won’t get his inheritance if he keeps being HELLA FUCKING GAY ALL OVER THE PLACE so a beard is only a benefit to him.
They would probably get along great rolling their eyes at how adorably stupid Romeo is.
Romeo and Benvolio could get a “bachelor pad” right next to Juliet and Mercutio’s house. Every night, Romeo and Mercutio high five as they hop the fence to go bang their one true love.
The second half of the play is just all of them trying to keep up the charade and being “THIS CLOSE” to getting caught all the time. But everything ends nicely because true love conquers all.
Everybody wins. Nobody dies.
If you don’t write this play I will.
i can’t, the hopping the fence and high fiving...i can so picture i need to see this like i need my next breathe of air
but can we consider that Rhodey does, in fact, outrank Steve Rogers?
now picture rhodey meeting steve and steve snapping a salute
that is all
and Rhodey would be totally serious about it until the second Steve walked out of the room and then he’d totally turn and look at Tony with crazy eyes and Tony would be like “JARVIS TOOK PICTURES FROM EVERY ANGLE YOU’RE WELCOME”
crhodey
i need this fanficed or drawn by anybody anyway,,,please have mercy on my soul and make this appear
Never be perfect but always be better than those that came before you just so when you die, you can rub it in their faces.
D.C. Marks