Ho...ho....ho

[Indie Joker roleplay account. Contains mature themes]

[arkhamroulette]

(When you check an ancient account and there’s still seven drafts)

[arkhamroulette]

"I demand cuddles."

Who put you in the position to make demands of me.

[theharleenquinn]

"So it is!"

Harley laughed and hugged his arms, giving a little tug. "Did ya want that cup’a cocoa I promised ta get started warmin’ things up?"

[arkhamroulette]

Haven't you got something a little harder, Harls?

[arkhamroulette]

"In other words, no thank you."

Aww. 

Joker frowned. His bottom lip protruded obnoxiously outward, mocking her lack of comfort.

Are you sure? C’mon, pick a card!

[charmanddiamondskin-deactivated]

"What? No foreplay?"

Standing up straight, Emma adjusted her corset instead or removing it. She pursed her lips, gaze icy.

[arkhamroulette]

Just bend.

He pulled his cock with his hand, keeping it warm and stimulated. Raring to go.

[charmanddiamondskin-deactivated]

"Unacceptable."

She frowned, arms crossed. Emma regarded him with an upturned nose.

[arkhamroulette]

I ain't gonna be hard forever. 

[arkhamroulette]

"Please don't be mad.."

You’ve screwed something up haven’t you…

[piinkandlight-deactivated201606]

"…P-Puddin’ don’ be upset— please forgive me! I’ll make it up ta’ ya, I swear!" 

[arkhamroulette]

Well I suppose.

It better be worth the loss.

[arkhamroulette]

"Please don't be mad.."

You’ve screwed something up haven’t you…

[piinkandlight-deactivated201606]

  "…I stopped ta’ time my shoe— pleasepleaseplease don’ be mad!” 

[arkhamroulette]

Frankly Harls, I'm quite upset you would prioritise your shoelaces over our affairs.

[arkhamroulette]

"Someone should nail your feet to the floor."

Geez.

What did I ever do to you, lady.

[arkhamroulette]

"Please don't be mad.."

You’ve screwed something up haven’t you…

[piinkandlight-deactivated201606]

  "….does it really matter?" 

[arkhamroulette]

Sure.

I just asked you, so it must matter.

[arkhamroulette]

DARK RP STARTERS

"You'll be fine."

"I'm afraid it's very fatal."

"These test results..don't make any sense."

"How far can your arm go before it breaks?"

"I'll carve your eyes out with a spoon."

"What does he have that I don't"

"Why did he choose her instead of me?"

"..Why?"

"Make as many stab wounds as you want."

"I am destined as your tool."

"The girl must die."

"The boy must die."

"I want to taste your blood on my lips."

"Where do we go from here?"

"These voices..cease to let me be."

"I..can't stop crying."

"Use me as you will."

"None of it matters now."

"Shadows fallow my every step."

"You've gone..completely mad."

"I'm barking mad."

"Winter is coming."

"I could kill you right now."

"You..You're dead!"

"May the lord have mercy on your soul."

"The mental ward let me out early this year."

"Oh how i miss the voices."

"Everyone is equal when they're dead."

"Cancel Christmas."

"Bring me more war."

"I love war."

"I piss on your traditions."

"I hate your heart."

"I hate your soul."

"I promise, you won't feel a thing."

"Bring her to me."

"Bring him to me."

"A few holes in the head give the madness more space."

"I hate everything about you."

"I will abandon you."

"What is that girl up to?"

"I am stretched on your grave."

"Kill me now.."

"If I fall from the grace of God where no murdered ghost can haunt me.."

"You are one in from the plank, don't make me push you."

"I don't care."

"Leave me behind."

"Everything you've told me was a lie!"

"Everything I've told yo was a lie!"

"How could you ever think to leave them behind?"

"Someone should nail your feet to the floor."

"My last breath will be your curse."

"He will KILL you."

"She will KILL you."

"I did noting."

"It was an accident!"

"You've killed your own brother!"

"I want nothing to do with him!"

"How can I possibly trust you?"

"Pathetic."

[arkhamroulette]

"Please don't be mad.."

You’ve screwed something up haven’t you…

[piinkandlight-deactivated201606]

  "…you’re right. It ain’t. I’m really sorry, Mistah J. I really am…”

[arkhamroulette]

Tell me.

How did this fantastic blunder come about?

How did you let this happen?

[arkhamroulette]

Send me one to see how my muse reacts {Star Wars Edition}

"We're doomed!"

"Hold your fire; there's no life forms aboard."

"We don't serve their kind here."

"I have a bad feeling about this."

"That's no moon; it's a space station."

"Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid."

"You know between his howling and your blasting, it's a wonder the whole station doesn't know we're here."

"Bring it on. I prefer a straight fight to all this sneaking around."

"Look a few minutes ago, you said you didn't want to sit here and get captured, now all you wanna do is stay?"

"Better her than me."

"Uh, everything's under control. Situation normal."

"Boring conversation anyway."

"Looks like you've managed to cut off our only escape route."

"Maybe you'd like it back in your cell, your highness."

"This is some rescue!"

"He's the brains sweetheart!"

"Into the garbage shoot, flyboy!"

"Get in there you big furry oaf! I don't care what you smell!"

"Put that thing away! You're going to get us all killed!"

"Absolutely your worship! Look, I had everything under control till you led us down here."

"Well it could be worse."

"It's worse."

"There's something alive in here."

"Listen, I don't know who you are or where you came from, but from now on you do as I tell you, 'kay?"

"Look, your worshipfulness, let's get one thing straight, I take orders from just one person, me!"

"Will somebody get this walking carpet out of my way?"

"You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought."

"It's them! Blast 'em!"

"Close the blast doors! Open the blast doors! Open the blast doors!"

"Didn't we just leave this party?"

"I hope that old man got that tractor beam out of commission or this'll be one short trip. Okay, hit it!"

"Great kid! Don't get cocky!"

"Sometimes I amaze even myself."

"That doesn't sound too hard."

"Easy! You call that easy!"

"They're tracking us."

"Your friend is quite a mercenary. Wonder if he cares about anything or anybody."

"We've no time for sorrows, commander."

"I must face him. Alone."

"I thought they smelled bad on the outside."

"Never tell me the odds."

"Why, you stuck-up, half-witted, scruffy-looking Nerf herder!"

"Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you?"

"You must unlearn what you have learned."

"Scoundrel? I like the sound of that."

"You like me because I'm a scoundrel. There aren't enough scoundrels in your life."

"I happen to like nice men."

"Your weapons, you will not need them."

"How ya feeling kid? You don't look so bad to me. You look strong enough to pull the ears off a gundark."

"It's a trap!"

"What is thy bidding, my master?"

"I'd just as soon kiss a Wookiee."

"I can arrange that. You could use a good kiss."

"That's a good story. I think you just can't bear to let a gorgeous guy like me out of your sight."

"I don't know where you get your delusions, laser brain."

"Laugh it up, fuzzball."

"I hope you know what you're doing."

"I am altering the deal. Pray I don't alter it further."

"You don't have to do this to impress me."

"I'm glad you're here to tell us these things."

"Would it help if I got out and pushed?"

"No time to discuss this as a committee."

"I am not a committee!"

"Don't blame me. I'm an interpreter. I'm not supposed to know a power socket from a computer terminal."

"He's all yours bounty hunter."

"Just open the door you stupid lug!"

"Then I'll see you in Hell!"

"I think my eyes are getting better. Instead of a big dark blur, I see a big light blur."

"I do believe they think I am some kind of god."

"Well, why don't you use your divine influence, and get us out of this?"

"Your overconfidence is your weakness."

"Your faith in your friends is yours."

"You're going to find that many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view."

"You can either profit by this or be destroyed. It's your choice, but I warn you not to underestimate my power."

"No more training do you require. Already know you, that which you need."

"You rebel scum."

"Nothing... can stop that now. Just for once... let me... look on you with my own eyes."

"You're gonna die here, you know. Convenient."

"Many Bothans died to bring us this information."

"I'm endangering the mission. I shouldn't have come."

"Good, I hate long waits."

"On second thought, let's pass on that, huh?"

"Wonderful. We are now a part of the tribe."

"Just what I always wanted."

"We have powerful friends. You're going to regret this."

"No, wait! I thought you were blind!"

"It's all right! I can see a lot better now."

"Exciting is hardly the word I would choose."

"This bounty hunter is my kind of scum; fearless and inventive."

"Then we'll do it real quiet-like."

"You tell that slimy piece of worm-ridden filth, he'll get no such pleasure from us."

"Somehow I got the feeling that didn't work very much."

Feel free to add or correct things! :)

[arkhamroulette]

"I demand cuddles."

Who put you in the position to make demands of me.

[theharleenquinn]

Harley slipped closer, resting her palms on his chest.

"Is that a yes ta my snuggling up plan?"

[arkhamroulette]

That's a yes to your playing dirty plans.

[toxicbotanist]

+4 New Orphans in the Garden

rex-paradoxum; frozencroc; arkhamroulette; mystery-villainess

❝              ✿             Well…Well… You aren’t quite who I was expecting? ❞                    The woman said with a sincere hint of curiosity, crossing her legs before leaning                     forward to look over at them. The various plants and vines littering the pathway                       slowly drug themselves away to clear it.

                              ❝ My annoyance is trumped by my curiosity. Tell me…What brings                                    you to my gardens?❞

[arkhamroulette]

The smell. 

Its so terrible. I had to check it out. Hah.

[zoeyrph]

a really long, but categorized, ask meme

ACTIONS - ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING

*Accidentally spills [[SPECIFY HERE]] on you*

*Slaps you*

*Kisses you on the lips*

*Bites your lip*

*Rubs your shoulders*

*Dumps ice water over your head*

*Winks at you*

*Flips hair at you*

*Throws a ball of paper towards you*

*Hands you a note, inside it says [[SPECIFY HERE]]*

*Slams the door shut behind you*

*Storms out of the room*

*Wraps my arms around you from behind*

*Kisses your neck*

*Nibbles on your earlobe*

*Tucks a strand of hair behind your ear*

*Strokes your hair*

*Caresses your cheek*

*Holds you in my arms*

QUOTES - PICK UP LINES EDITION

"You’re cute and I’m horny. You thinking what I’m thinking?"

"I see you like cardio… wanna go back to my place and do it together?"

"I’m sorry, but I just received a call for you. From heaven? I think they’re missing an angel."

"Hold my hand? I’m afraid I’m getting lost in your eyes."

"Is that a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants."

"Are you a pokemon? Because I’d like to peek-at-chu.”

"If I had a dollar for every beautiful girl/guy I saw tonight, I’d have one dollar. Because the only beautiful girl/guy in here is you."

"Maybe I could show you my [[SPECIFY ITEM]] collection. It’s back at my house, so we’d have to go there but…”

*Spills a drink on your shirt* “I’m so sorry! But if it’s any reassurance, I think that top would look better on my bedroom floor anyways.”

QUOTES - STRANGERS EDITION

"I’m sorry, have we met before?"

"I don’t know you, but thanks."

"You’re a very nice guy/girl, you know that?"

"We only just met… but I’d really like to see you again."

"Do you think you could move your ass out of my friend’s seat?"

"It’s none of your business. We just met."

"Hey I’m [[NAME HERE]] and my crazy ex-girlfriend/boyfriend is here and I was wondering if you’d pretend to date me so I can get them off my back?”

"I’m so sorry about that! Let me buy you a new sandwich."

"Oh shit. I didn’t mean to trip you I swear, I’m sorry."

QUOTES - WORKPLACE EDITION

"Did you get that email I sent you last night?"

"No, I’m serious. She/he brought a flask to work.”

"I overheard the boss and I think you’re about to be put up for a promotion!"

"I know what you’ve got in that top drawer."

"I can’t believe you’re drunk at work."

"You know, most people watch porn at home."

"Your Netflix binge is using up all the broadband."

"Stop torrenting, asshole! I have a report to send off to Japan in an hour and I can’t even open Gmail!"

"If you spent half as much time on doing your job as you do on World on Warcraft, maybe you’d have a chance at a promotion too."

"You’ve been working here for 6 years and you don’t know where the break room is?"

QUOTES - SCHOOL EDITION

"Didn’t you hear? [[NAME HERE]] and [[NAME HERE]] hooked up last night!”

"We lost the playoffs."

"The girls team beat the boys!"

"I heard he/she got called into the principal’s office."

"Apparently the swim team had an orgy after hours."

"I heard they were fucking in the bathroom."

"She/he’s been paying people to do their homework!"

"She/he fell running in the hallway and knocked out a few teeth."

"I can’t believe we’re graduating this year."

"Being a freshman sucks."

"I slept with a sophomore last weekend."

"She/he told me they were a junior!"

"Why are those freshmen staring at you?"

"Is there a reason everyone suddenly knows your name overnight?"

"How come everyone suddenly knows who I am?"

"Did you tell them about my [[INSERT SECRET HERE]]?!”

"I can’t believe you hooked up with my boyfriend/girlfriend."

"I definitely failed that test."

"I got an A on my essay!"

QUOTES - SASS EDITION

"Wow, there’s a stick wedged so far up your ass I don’t think I can even pull it out."

"I’m sorry, but my number of fucks to give has officially reached a negative number."

"Uranus called and said I’m huge and in the way.”

"I’m searching… searching… oh. Well would you look at that. I couldn’t find any fucks to give."

"What’s the difference between a dolphin and you? Dolphins have brains."

"Just because that’s mistletoe hanging above us doesn’t mean I’m going to kiss you."

"Take a picture, it’ll last longer."

"At this point you might as well ask for my autograph."

QUOTES - ARGUMENTS/ROWS/QUARRELS EDITION

"You know I’m right! I’m always right!”

"Shut up. Just shut up!"

"I don’t need to listen to this."

"You’re lying."

"I can’t believe you’d say that. Even in an argument, that was low of you."

"I can’t look at you."

"Don’t fucking touch me."

"If you say one more word, I swear…"

"Pipe down, you’re making a scene."

"What’s wrong with you?"

"Now I know why people think you’re neurotic."

"You must be crazy."

"I’m not backing down.”

"You can’t hide the truth forever, you know."

"What’s your issue?”

"You make me so angry.”

"This has nothing to do with you.”

QUOTES - LOVERS EDITION

"And… and I love you! It’s what I’ve been trying to tell you all along."

"I don’t know how to say it. But you know what I’m trying to say, right?"

"I’ve never been good at this. I don’t do relationships. But I… I want to try with you.”

"You’re the one that I want."

"I don’t care. I don’t give a shit, don’t you get it? I don’t give a flying fuck unless it has to do with you. I love you.”

"Please don’t say that. You know you’re the only one for me. Fuck everyone else."

"I can’t stop thinking about you. Every minute of every day. I could be standing in the shower or cooking breakfast, but you’re still the only thought on my mind."

"I want to wake up next to you, everyday for the rest of my life."

"I’ve always been afraid of commitment, okay? That’s why I sleep around.”

"I’ve never wanted to give love a try until now."

"Please, don’t leave me."

"I need you more than you will ever know."

"I love you more than I could ever express in words."

QUOTES - DRUNK AND KNOCKING AT YOUR DOOR EDITION

*Starts singing [[SPECIFY SONG NAME]] outside your door/window*

"I didn’t fuck him/her, I swear!"

"I brought vodka and ice cream."

"You left your anal beads at my house. Wait… no, they’re just normal mardi gras beads."

"I can’t believe you went without me!"

"I love you, I love you so much and you just don’t see it. What am I supposed to do?"

"I know you’re sad and upset. Let me be your distraction! I want to be your distraction!"

"I can’t find my apartment and I couldn’t stop thinking about you."

"Let me in! I think I’m gonna throw up."

QUOTES - NSFW EDITION

"What do you think about this outfit?"

"Bend over."

"It’s not going to get up by itself, you know."

"I thought you’d be bigger."

"Where did we leave those damned handcuffs?"

"I can’t find my vibrator."

"Just set your phone on vibrate!"

"I want to fuck you until you’re raw and shaking."

"That’s it… do a little striptease for me."

"You can watch… but you can’t touch."

"Be quiet! They’re going to hear us."

"And get this… the new toy? It glows in the dark."

"I’ve got two flavours. Cherry or fruit punch?"

"I want to be on top."

"That is one fine ass."

"You look like a screamer."

"Let me tie you up."

"What’ll our safeword be?"

"I love making you squirm."

"Not my neck! It’s summer, I can’t wear a turtleneck in the sun."

TEXTS - DRUNK EDITION

[TEXT] You dumped me for HIM/HER?

[TEXT] I can’t stop listening to our song.

[TEXT] My pillow still smells like you.

[TEXT] You left your cologne when you moved out. I used it up.

[TEXT] Do you even love me?

[TEXT] What happened to us?

[TEXT] I just want to eat bacon and see you naked. And then eat bacon off of you naked.

[TEXT] IM26C4U.

[TEXT] You never gave a shit about me.

[TEXT] I couldn’t care less.

[TEXT] Now you know how it feels.

[TEXT] I still love you.

[TEXT] I can’t stop thinking about all the times you told me you loved me… and wondering if they were lies.

TEXTS - NSFW EDITION

[TEXT] You can’t have me if you can’t even get the three C’s. Chocolates, champagne, and candles.

[TEXT] I’m in the bath… come join me?

[TEXT] Don’t tease. You know I like it rough.

[TEXT] Bed, counter, or floor?

[TEXT] If you can get here in five minutes I’ll suck you off first.

[TEXT] What do you think about threesomes? And, what about foursomes?

[TEXT] You’ve been naughty, I’m going to punish you.

[TEXT] I can’t believe you just sent me that. I’m at work/school!

TEXTS - EMERGENCY EDITION

[TEXT] I fell down the stairs and… well, I’m in the ER.

[TEXT] ______ got injured during their game and I’m waiting with them at the hospital but I can’t do this alone.

[TEXT] Did you know your mother/father is at the hospital right now??

[TEXT] I was cleaning out the garage and I’m stuck under some boxes!! Please help before the spiders get me.

[TEXT] I don’t know what happened I was just cooking and then all of a sudden the pasta was on fire!

[arkhamroulette]

"I demand cuddles."

Who put you in the position to make demands of me.

[theharleenquinn]

"Is that such a bad thing, puddin’?"

She gave a little pout. "I can play nice too, if I hafta."

[arkhamroulette]

Joker grinned.

Playing nice is against the rules.

[agentaislinnoconner-deactivated]

유

Send me 유 and my muse will bend over a table and shake their ass at yours

Aislinn flashed a cheeky grin over her shoulder bending the table and shaking her ass. Simply because shecould and she liked shaking her ass besides. 

[agentaislinnoconner-deactivated]

Aislinn shrugged. “True enough.” She said smirking at him.

[arkhamroulette]

If the execution ain't funny, its just another limp body. Limp bodies tend to be pretty funny so it evens out in the end.

[thecomicsvault]

BATMAN ADVENTURES: MAD LOVE (Feb. 1994) Art by Bruce Timm & Rick Taylor Words by Paul Dini

[arkhamroulette]

"I demand cuddles."

Who put you in the position to make demands of me.

[theharleenquinn]

"A’course! Ya know I like cuddlin’."

A smile and fluttering eyelashes. "For starters~"

[arkhamroulette]

That start don't last long when you get going, Harls.