I hate when he's mad at me, cause means that he cares.
I hate when he's laughing with me because means he enjoys my company.
I hate how my head laid perfectly on his chest when he hugs me because his heartbeat is my favorite sound in this universe.
I hate how his facility to get inside my room through the window because, at Henry's house, I only could sleep feeling breathing in his perfume.
I hate how he became my favorite drug.
"What is going on here?" Henry's voice brings me back to earth since I woke up I only stares at Beomgyu's face not carrying about time because was Sunday, like every single detail of him was not imprinted in my mind. Beomgyu wakes up scared, I hold his hand, Henry probably triggered Beomgyu with that scream.
"It's okay you are with me, you're safe it's not your dad, is only Henry and I'll never let him hurt you" I look into his eyes "Take a deep breath I'm here"
"Lilo, I'll not ask again…" Henry keep screaming, so Beomgyu cover his ears using his hands.
"Can you please shut up? Don't you see how shocked Beom is?" I cover his ears with my hands "Look at my bear, look into my eyes, you're safe, I'm with you, please breathe, take a deep breath… Henry can you be a little bit useful and call emergency, he is having a panic attack because of your show.." I say while I'm still looking into Beomgyu's eyes.
"You both are doing a show believing I'll fall for this, your mom knows that this boy sleeps with you?" I take a deep breath and Beomgyu copies my move.
"We're both over eighteen," and he doesn't love me that way "We're dating for almost three years now" I took another deep breath to Beomgyu copy my move one more time "I'm not you, I wouldn't lie to my mom, or anyone, this part of your DNA a decline, so can you please call for help?"
"Why so much scream this early in the morning?" I heard Yeonjun's voice.
"Yeonjun, Beom is having a panic attack call emergency" My voice goes out so automatically that sounds like Siri, "One more deep breath Beomgyu, please copy me"
"What he is doing here?" Yeonjun asks, lord I'll commit murder, so I ask forgiveness already.
So Beomgyu put his head on my shoulder, and I tap slowly his back, please be okay, you need to be okay.
"I'm okay don't need to call emergency…" His voice goes out husky "I'm leaving, don't need to worry" I kiss the top of his head
"No, you will eat breakfast with us this time, the whole house already knows you are here anyway… Are you sure that you're okay?" He holds my left hand, the one my dad and Yeonjun can't see.
"I'm fine, I promise," He says looking into my eyes "I better go because I didn't tell my grandma that I would sleep outside, she probably worried, maybe you should go with me, there is no one will scream with you" He looks at Henry "Lilo is a good daughter, you have no right to scream at her, but I apologize to be inside your house without your knowledge" Henry look at him without saying anything, and Beomgyu complete in signal language for me [I'll wait outside, bring your things, stay with us until your mom come back, I'll not have peace if you stay here after hearing him screaming like that with you].
"Okay," I respond and jump off my bed, starting to pick up my stuff, Beomgyu leaves the room.
"I can't believe your mom knows about that and say nothing" Henry keeps repeating himself.
"What part of I already have eighteen, you didn't understand? I work at Mr. Kang's lawyer's office, I pay for the things that I want to have, and I only stay here to convince my mom that was fine she goes on a honeymoon, but I can definitely take care of myself, and also the Bemgyu factor, we always take care of each other…" I put my toothbrush at last in my purse.
"You take care too much of each other," Yeonjun seems to complain, I can't hold my laugh.
"Yes, that's part of being in a relationship, aren't you and Ariel the same?" I look at him, I'll not lie, part of the reason for me being here was because I know this would drive Ariel a little bit crazy, but only Beomgyu knows that.
"Where are you thinking you going Lilo?" Henry asks so I throw my bag through the window.
"I gotcha!" Beomgyu screams from the outside.
"You are not leaving this room for a while miss" I roll my eyes and look through the window, Beomgyu still looking at me.
"You better don't hurt me" I whisper looking at Beomgyu before I jump, maybe I lost my mind, wasn't that high but I could break a leg for sure.
"You will don't be the one that gets hurt," Beomgyu says holding me in his arms, I hold myself on him with my legs.
"I lost my mind" I confess to him, my heart was going so fast.
"You only realize this now?" Beomgyu laughs at me, I laugh with him "Let's run before they catch us" Beom put my feet on the grass.
"Yep!" So he holds my bag over his shoulders with one hand and with the other he holds my hand and we start to run.
And we run all the way to his grandma's house, everything in my head was in slow motion, every time he turn his head to look at me smiling, my heart became weather, so we lay on the grass in the garden in front of the house to took a deep breath.
"Sorry for Henry, you stay because of me, and he was a d…" I start.
"Don't worry, thank you for taking care of me that way" He kissed the top of my head "I love you Lilo…" Those words became ink on my skin, a permanent tattoo in my soul.
"I love you too bear" In a romantic way, and at the end of the day I'll be the one that gets hurt, I lay my head on his chest hearing his heart.
"Lilo, I mean it… It's complicated to explain, and understand too, I know, my whole life, I was all about loving boys, never in my mind, I thought about a girl, I mean I still like boys," He stop saying and take a deep breath "It's all so confusing, I just know that I love you, I wanna kiss you, hold you in my arms, in a real thigh way…" I sit and look at him "I'm not being clear, I know, is just I don't figure out it yet, but the only thing I'm sure I love you, and maybe I'm capable of loving boys, girls, non-binary people, you give me so much love, that I'm overflowing love right know…" I took a deep breath "I sware to you, I'm not being needed, I love you…"
"Beomgyu, breath," I say smiling at him "That's okay," I lay my head on his chest one more time.
"You don't think I'm a perve right?"
"No, why would you be a perve? Because of that? No Beomgyu" I give a kiss on his chest over his shirt "My oppa boyfriend is like you, remember Taehyun oppa? When he meet you at the restaurant that night, he said we both cursed, cause he was in love with a straight guy and I was in love with a gay guy, at the end you both were, bisexual or pansexual or just queer, I don't know if you wanna label yourself, but resuming he also think he was straight until fall for Taehyun oppa, he did the inverse way that you did, just that… There's nothing to worry about, relax…"
"Wait, you love me all these years?" Oh lord, why I can't hold my tongue?
"That's not the point Beomgyu… Are we dating for real now?" I need to put his mind on another thing.
"You wanna be my girlfriend? Even knowing I can like boys too?" I smile in secret.
"I would never date a straight boy is against my rules…They're boring" So I feel Beomgyu's fingers holding my chin, pulling up my face so my lips touch his lips, so soft, no one in this world knows me better than him, and I think he feels the same way about me because there's no weird tension on our first kiss, I was with all my clothes, but feeling naked and this didn't bother me, I don't feel shy, Beomgyu was allowed to see every single details of my soul, I don't mind, than I remember what Kai say to me, about have no fear on someone's arms, was like this that moment, the only thing I feel finally got at home, when the kiss ended we took a deep breath "Please, don't think I'm objectifying you, or your sexuality, because what I just say… was just…"
"I don't feel objectified Lilo, better saying, Julie," The way he says my real name makes my body shivers "But I'm waiting for the moment you actually do" Beomgyu whispers right next to my ear and kisses my neck "I love you Julie"
⇢ summary: Lilo is a complicated girl, but also is Beomgyu and the journey of both are a mess.
⇢ pairing: Lilo x Beomgyu.
⇢ a/n: hi my people, it's being a long time since lost in your love story right? well i was really trapped in this thing called adulthood, it's sucks i know, but for me is always better then anything i lived while i was a tennager, i'm working on that on therapy I promise, which is why this story came to me, I think, here you will find deep things about me, so please don't judge... too much... ok?I know we live in a plastic society today, where everyone is so perfect and lives those perfect lives, but in this story everyone is (un)perfect, like me, so I'm showing the most human that my perfectionism allowed me to be, hope you all undertand.
Mom told me that there's an amazing difference between passion and love, passion is an aggressive and burning feeling love is a progressive and patient feeling, warmed you like a sunset. And that helps me choose my audition song.
"I can't believe you convince me to do that…" Beomgyu complains about the place I choose to practice my audition "Everyone can see us here…They will start to think you like my company"
"That's not the point of our fake dating thing?" Beomgyu's face became red. "Did you listen to the song?"
"Yes, do you think is a good choice? Because is not performed by the lead characters of In The Heights.." Beomgyu stretches his body before we start the practice.
"Once Kai told me that my sing, has soul, and that's a differential, this song touches me emotionally, feelings are bridges to the soul…" I start to stretch too.
"You say things so deeply like is nothing…" I shake my shoulders.
At the third time, we practice the world around us smoothly start to disappear, being around Beomgyu was easy like breath, there was no part of me I wanna hide from him, from the worst to the best I trust him to know everything of me because he was always honest about how he feels things. Once we finish our practice people stop by to compliment us.
"I think I have a shot" I confess during our walk home.
"I agree with you, never see a high schooler so focused like you" I look at him the sunset on his face makes him look like paint, so Beomgyu does an unusual thing open a big smile, he waves his hand to someone another side of the street "It's my nana be kind…" He whispers at me.
"I'm always kind" I whisper back.
"She only speaks through signal language, so I will translate okay…" I sigh, he knows nothing about me.
"I'm fluent in signal language…" I say without looking at him, just to seem cool about it in front of him.
"Hi, grandma.." Beomgyu starts doing the signals.
"Hi little bear… who is her? Your girlfriend?" Beomgyu starts flushing one more time I smile.
"Hi Bemgyu grandma, I'm Julie Fisher, it is nice to meet you! No, I'm not Beomgyu's girlfriend, only a girl that is his friend…" She smiled and me.
"She has a short temper, no right for me," Bemgyu says, and his grandma hit him, I laugh at his face.
"Look who is talking about, the ones that are terrible at making friends," She scolds him and turns to me "You should go to our house, I'm going to make cookies, I make the best cookies." My stomach almost cry.
"I'm sorry, I can't go this time, I'm working to raise funds for our school art club…" I explain "But I'll next time, cookies are my favorite thing in this world" She smiled at me and tap softly my shoulder.
"You seem a hard worker kid, will achieve everything you wanna I'm sure! Fighting! " She says.
"Thank you so much! See you both soon! Bye Bye"
So I walk the rest of my way home alone, thinking if signal language could be my secret language with Beomgyu at school…My phone rings and it's a Beomgyu text.
bear: how did u learn the signal language?
lilo: i was a shy kid, didn't speak until i met ariel and kamal, so my mom learn and teach me the signal language to communicate with me, i considered it my first language
bear: woow never could imagine such a thing, you are a box full of surprises, you know that right?
lilo: don't talk like this, i may think you are interested in knowing me…
bear: grandma is making me promise that i'll give you the cookies that we made, she really likes you
lilo: i really like her too
bear: should i go to your concert today?
lilo: of course, what kind of fake bf would you be if you don't show up?
bear: see you later.
Sitting in front of the piano I took a deep breath was the first time I sing to so many people, Mr. Park shouldn't make so much fuss about me singing in his restaurant, my finger touches the first note, sing with your soul Lilo Fisher.
"For so long I was content, pretending even for myself that second place was fine to me, I trust in you my whole soul, for you I lived under the sea…" So I heard drums behind me, and when I look there I saw Mr Park, he smiled at me "I'm not mad that you broke me, doing that you set free, that spark that was suffocating inside of me…" So Soobin appears playing base, I knew he was sad because Hueningkai and I weren't talking to much with each other. "Oh! Finally I can breathe, finally I can see, you set me free, the fire inside of me, finally can breathe, thanks for break me…" I look at the crowd they are singing the melody, and my eyes found Beomgyu. He gives me that sarcastic smile, something on that smile makes my heart flutter, so a guitar start, I look at the only person that plays like this, my old brother Taehyun staring at me smiling.
"Star, burning right up in the sky, never under the sea, even though she didn't see that's what she is, I'm here speaking facts, I saw through her acts, don't border on play the perfect role, my little Julia, warm than July on Joseon, she does everything putting her whole soul, thanks for finally break her cocoon, now she gonna fly, like a butterfly…" Never in this life, I could imagine that Taehyun could rap like this, so I sang to the chorus one more time.
"Oh! Finally I can breathe, finally I can see you set me free, the fire inside of me burning like a thousand stars, so thanks for break me…" I finish with a piano solo, and when I reach the last, not the clients stand up applauding "Thank you for your love, if you like this please consider donating to our high school theater club, the box is with Mr. Park. One more time, thank you so much" So people stand in line to donate, and Mr. Ortega will freak out!
"Dad said that you would start a volunteer internship at the law office, I didn't understand mostly after I saw you like this ready to be a superstar…" Taehyun sits right next to me "Why suddenly this decision?"
"Someone call me spoiled I couldn't take…" So I feel a hand over my shoulder, Beomgyu's hand I don't even need to look at him.
"And work at your dad's office was the way to prove to me that you aren't spoiled?" He says and I roll my eyes "I'm Choi Beomgyu by the way" He offers his hand to Taehyun, and my older brother holds his hand with strength.
"I'm Kang Taehyun, Julia's older brother.." I bite my lip when he says my name to Beomgyu "Ah, I'm the only one that has the authorization to use her name." I can hear Beomgyu sigh.
"I like Lilo more anyway.." A small smile appears on my face.
"Let's get something to eat, I need you to tell me how is law school, if you're dating, this kind of thing…" So Taehyun holds my hand.
"Can we talk for a moment?" He wants to talk about our parents' travel to Joseon, I'm sure, I look at my friends.
"I'll be there in a second guys" So Soobin and Jisung drag Beomgyu with them I turn myself to Taehyun "Is about Joseon's travel right?"
"Also about this, but first, that guy is your boyfriend? Sunday guy?" I completely ignore's the last part. My smile is big.
"No, I'm not his type…" Taehyun looks shocked.
"He's not into hot girls?" That sentence cringes bout of us "Is not right in any way to say my sister is hot, but you know what I mean right?"
"I can't tell you much, but I believe is not because of how I look…" This is because he is in love with Choi Yeonjun.
"Okay, anyway, is it because of him you don't wanna go to Joseon with us next week? Will be only ten days…" every time I get sadder that I'm missing this opportunity, oh lord.
"No, I can't go because the musical calls are next week" Taehyun eyes wide.
"You're taking this…"
"Yes is funny, and also give credits to universities outside San Seoul.." And will teach Ariel a lesson she will never forget "And you, dating someone?" Taehyun blushes.
"I don't have time for this yet…"
"Hmmm, so there's someone that you are not dating yet… hehe" Taehyun rolls his eyes smiling "Is he cute?"
"Just a bit, but I just gonna tell you the details if you tell me about that Beomgyu guy!"
"There's nothing much to tell, he is Yeonjun's best friend, I kiss him for selfish reasons, but he is in love with the same guy I was not long ago…" Tae opens and closed his mouth multiple times "But taking out the part he loves messing with me, and must say it's a pleasure making he mad, he also helps me compose,"
"The same way I fall for a straight guy on high school, my little sister will fall for a gay guy, the apple doesn't fall far from the three indeed…"
"I'm not in love with him, this is outrageous…" I stand up.
"Keep lying to yourself and at some point, you gonna believe it!" I sigh.
"My heart still healing, but is good to have him as a friend, since I lost Hueningkai and Ariel at the same time…" Tae doesn't say anything, he just hugs me, my tears make his shirt wet "I plan this year to be perfect for us, why…" I can't finish the sentence Tae only hugs me more.
Late that night, Taehyun goes out to drink with Soobin, and I walk home with Baomgyu, he seems somehow impatiently, he looks at the sky and sighs many times, so scratches the back of his head, and do all over again and again.
"You know you don't need to walk me home right?" I say without looking at him.
"But I wanna too, or like call you by your name I can't do it either?" I stop walking and look into his eyes.
"It just seems you don't wanna do this, all the way here you seem impatient… I don't know, you wanna tell me what is wrong?" I hold his arms to not touch his hand, sometimes I almost do unconsciously.
"I.. just wanna say, I'm sorry if I was unpolite with your old brother, I didn't know who he was, and the way you look at him….Forget, I just read wrongly the room" So he put Beomgyu take out of his jacket pocket a bag with cookies "Congrats on your first show, you were amazing!"
I hold the bag looking without believing and I just hug him, in the middle of the street, Beomgyu hugs me back the right way pulling me off the floor, and kisses the top of my head.
"They're not poisoned right?" He laughs at my question, an evil laugh.
"You gonna have to eat to discover Fisher." I put one inside his mouth before he could close "Fisher, why I would poison cookies??"
"Next week we have feel tests," I answer once he swole I eat one "If this makes me sick, also will do the same thing to you…"
"I'll never, ever make anything for you, anymore in this life!" I put one more cookie in his mouth he accepts "Should we practice your audition dance at your place?"
"Don't act like that Beomgyu, people will start to think you enjoy my company…" His face burns red.
"Well, that's the point of our fake dating thing right?" He looks into my eyes, so close physically, so far emotionally. Somehow I stop to dream about high school and start to think about college, far from everyone I wouldn't be the one that gets hurt.
"Yes, is all pretending after all.." I force a smile on my face and we keep walking.
⇢ summary: Lilo is a complicated girl, but also is Beomgyu and the journey of both are a mess.
⇢ pairing: Lilo x Beomgyu.
⇢ a/n: hi my people, it's being a long time since lost in your love story right? well i was really trapped in this thing called adulthood, it's sucks i know, but for me is always better then anything i lived while i was a tennager, i'm working on that on therapy I promise, which is why this story came to me, I think, here you will find deep things about me, so please don't judge... too much... ok?I know we live in a plastic society today, where everyone is so perfect and lives those perfect lives, but in this story everyone is (un)perfect, like me, so I'm showing the most human that my perfectionism allowed me to be, hope you all undertand.
Chapter 1: Attention.
Chapter 2: Ditto
Chapter 3: Hype Boy
Chapter 4: OMG
Beomgyu's POV
Lilo gives me a lilac turtleneck shirt, and Soobin gives me his blue blazer, while Hueningkai pretends make my hair without care that Lilo wasn't speaking with him, unless directly.
"I will pretend I didn't notice that you are making my look the bissexual flag hyung" I jokling accuses him, and he smile at me.
"Talking about bisexual, you need have a serious conversation with Taehyun oppa" Lilo look at Soobin "I have stalking him, he seems interest on this guy" She sighs "I don't know all the details, but if you could open that old gay binary mind…"
"It will be my plesure" Soobin responds "Okay now let me look at Beomgyu" I stend up.
"You look stunning" Hueningkai says.
"Thanks" I feel my face burning.
"Let us see the boy again" Lilo asks, and I show his picture, was the first time I would go on a romantic date on cinema and all stuff like dinner, I was shaking inside. Soobin looks at the picture, so he looks at Lilo, and than me. without say and word, I know everything he wanna say.
Oh. My. God.
Lilo Fisher will drive me insane, and for some reason, I don't wanna her to stop since that kiss I feel like I was orbiting around her, was everything about her, my worries, my laughs, my fears, and if that feeling wasn't about her, I would share with her without a second thought, this witchcraft heavy shit, that's the only explanation. But god, listen to me, I'm the gayest person you delivered in the year I was born, why I'm kissing only boys that look like Lilo now?
"Here, use this necless" Lilo put around my neck, the perfume on her wrist was so good, that make me think about kiss her arm "This charm will give you luck" Was a tulip charm.
"I know it will"
The date was really good, Mark was a cool calm guy, that like literature like me, enjoy videogames like me, have great playlists, and amazing taste for movies, he holds my hand while we walk on street, and let me at Lilo's house at the end, because I lied about have forget my paperwork with a friend. But I just need talk to her before I sleep. When I lay on her bed, she was finishing math homework.
"How was your date?" She asks without looking at me, Lilo looks so cute using glasses.
"You never ask about my dates, what's wrong?" She give me her cellphone, showing a photo, of Yeonjun and Ariel at the same cinema I was, oh lord Me and Mark were in the back of the picture.
"I should be thankful that you choose someone that looks like me" She sighs "My idea is not fair to you bear, maybe we should end this fake dating thing" Those words make my heart tremble "You need to be happy in a full way…" Maybe I would be the first gay man in this world that would cry about a woman's fake romantic love.
"Maybe, I'm being too selfish with you, because I feel so comfortable with you, is like breath…." We laugh at my words, because never, even in our wildest dreams we could imagine becoming such good friends.
"If we break up what I would tell everyone?" She lays by my side on the bed, using my left arm as a pillow, and automatically I start to play with her hair.
"The truth" She simply says "I really don't mind, Ariel can think whatever she wanna, or maybe you're the kind of person that doesn't care about others' gender identity, like Soobin oppa" Her words click something inside of me, and I close my eyes to absorb "You seem sleepy, wanna take a nap before going? I can be the big spoon this time…" I turn my back to her, so she could dovetail on me.
"Are you not sad anymore, I mean because of Yeonjun and Ariel?" I ask carefully.
"I'm sad, I'm mad, and if Ariel posts that one more time that song I'll end up punching her, nothing makes me angrier than a withe girl telling a non-withe person that they wanna be on their skin…I think what hurts me more is because we were friends," She sighs "Yeonjun will be always my first love, but not my last, he keeps trying to stay in touch with me but I don't care, sometimes I wanna print every single message and post just to make Ariel suffer" I can't hold my smile, she was so brutal and honest "And you, how are your feelings about Yeonjun?"
"I'm used to seeing him dating, so nothing new, the good part is that this time I have a partner in crime…" So Lilo lay her head com my back.
"You know, we should do something fun, do you like horror movies?"
"No, I hated it, what about romcoms?" She will never convince me to watch horror movies, never.
"Only if they're Hong Kong 90's romcoms…" I turn to look at her, why her brain was so weird?
"Why do you have to be so specific?" She smile and press play, and one more time she was right, the'res magic on those movies that we don't see so much often,
So Lilo sleep on my arms, snores softly, I need to record to proves her later, this woman always saying that she didn't make a sound sleeping, but when I unblock my phone Soobin just have dropped a message that was almost a bible, so many words oh lord.
binnie: hi bear, how was your date? i hope that everything has being just great and that you found in mark your soulmate, but just in case you don't i must to say something, even kai telling me not to do, i know is not my position to do, cause my background is so differently of yours, since i was younger never make sense like just one, and when people tell me to choose, was too late hahaha', and in my case is so much more about affection than atratction, but you don't have the same luck, what make me think you may have the impression if you love Lilo in a romantic way, would make all those atrocities that you homophobic biological progenitor said about cure thruth, but love Lilo will not make you less queer I promise, this is part of who you're, and if you need to talk, i'm here, i love you young bro, and all of us will always have your back.
I can't control my tears as the same way I can't control my feelings, that night I sleep hugging Lilo, and I never slept so well like I did on her bed.
⇢ summary: Lilo is a complicated girl, but also is Beomgyu and the journey of both are a mess.
⇢ pairing: Lilo x Beomgyu.
⇢ a/n: hi my people, it's being a long time since lost in your love story right? well i was really trapped in this thing called adulthood, it's sucks i know, but for me is always better then anything i lived while i was a tennager, i'm working on that on therapy I promise, which is why this story came to me, I think, here you will find deep things about me, so please don't judge... too much... ok?I know we live in a plastic society today, where everyone is so perfect and lives those perfect lives, but in this story everyone is (un)perfect, like me, so I'm showing the most human that my perfectionism allowed me to be, hope you all undertand.
Chapter 1: Attention.
Chapter 2: Ditto
Capter 3: Hype Boy
My whole life this semester was constantly waiting for him every single Sunday, he was always there waiting for me with a big smile on his face, I settled my feelings for him, deep inside my heart, guys like him would never fall for a girl like me so I was content with being his friend. I sit next to him, Jun was distracted by looking at the sunset. Something about him gives me the courage to do the things that scare me the most.
"Cause I-I-I know what you like boy, you're my chemical boy" I sing Yeonjunging a little bit of the original song arrangement, my singing classes show me how my voice could be beautiful if I used it right, and after I discover that Junie was a producer and love music, I wished unless my voice could have some power over his heart.
"Wow," He says looking at me "Wasn't you that once told me that I didn't sing?" I smiled at him.
"Suddenly I found a reason to do so…" I say looking at the sunset.
"How was your week?" My smile became even bigger, I was a winner this week.
"I was the first in my class on every single thing so that idiot could eat my dust!" Remember Yeonjun's angry face made my day even better.
"By idiot, you mean that Beomgyu guy? Don't you think sometimes you overthink about him?" Is he jealous? My heart whispers.
"He treats me as if my feelings didn't matter because his best friend may be hurt…" I sigh.
"Why would it be like that?" Junie turned his whole body in my direction, that was what I love the most about these moments.
"Because he is the son of the woman that was Henry's mistress, I can't say that I hate the guy 'cause I didn't know him, but that's the thing I don't wanna meet him… Yeonjun says that I'm dramatic but he is the one overreacting, 'cause I didn't even leave my seat between classes so I don't bump into his precious Yeonjunie" I roll my eyes.
"Do you think you're gonna hate this guy that much?" Junie asks, I took a deep breath.
"Why are we only talking about me? What about your music? And your band? Did you guys find the drummer?" I lay on the grass looking at him.
"Yes, his name is Seugmin, he is dope" He moves his hands like he is playing drums.
"So during winter vacation all, you're gonna do is rehearse right?" Junie smiles like a little kid and waves his head positively.
"You wanna help me choose the name?" I sit so fast that makes me dizzy, this was such an important thing "I just have two rules, needs to have M and H on the name…" His look on became sad.
"Can I ask why?" So Jun looked at his hands "You don't need to answer…"
"No, that's okay, I can share with you, that's the initials of my dad and my little sister…" his eyes became full of tears, by instinct I hugged him like I could protect him from all those memories that hunt him. To my surprise, he hugged me back, and we stayed in silence for a while.
"What about miroh? Mr. Kang teaches me a few words of Joseon, his hometown, which means maze, and sometimes life feels like this…" So my cell phone starts to ring, I look at the screen and is Hueningkai "Just give me a moment, this may be important…" I leave his arms and get apart and feel steps "Something happens Hueningkai?"
"Ariel will kill me Lilo…" His voice was so sad that breaks my heart, Ary was given him a hard time with the musical, she became the first freshman to become the theater team director and now her next stop would be the first one to be the musical lead, and considering Hueningkai was her choreographer he was having a hard time "Can you please just help me with two or three steps? Please"
"Okay, in one hour, at school, deal?" I look at Jun he doesn't take his eyes off me. It was foolish of me to put the salvation of my torment into a boy, but I couldn't help myself.
"Deal, I'll wait for you at the theater club room," Hueningkai bring me back to earth.
"See you later, bye" I come close to Jun "I wish I could see you more than just Sundays…" The confession slipped my mouth before I could hold the words inside my heart, he held my hand.
"Maybe in the future, we could make this happen" He didn't know but his promises became a tattoo on my skin.
"Well probably in the next semester beginning at a school tournament, I'll be on the football team. I know you can't cheer for another school, but cheer for me to be the striker of the league, please? I promise to cheer for you at the swim competition" And I would anyway, 'cause I prefer dying to cheer for Yeonjung, so Jun smiling cross his pink finger with mine.
"Deal," He says laughing but that happiness for some reason doesn't appear in his eyes like he was nervous about something.
"Now I gotta go Hueningkai needs me, and he's waiting for me at school on a Sunday, so I know it's really serious…" I explain and in one second Jun gets up.
"I can give you a drive…" That sentence would make me smile the whole week. I hold Jun with my head resting on his back. I could sleep there so well, imagine waking up like this but on his bed, wearing his shirt…"Lilo.." His voice calls me so I realize we are already at school.
"Sorry I was daydreaming, thank you, Junie, see you next Sunday?" Junie smiles and waves his head positively.
"See you next week Lilo" So he did the unthinkable thing, kissing the top of my head. I don't know what was wrong with me, but I just start to run I run like I was in a marathon, so I enter the theater club's room, lay on the floor, and wait for Hueningkai. Daydreaming about a world where I'm not a crazy person that just panics with a kiss that wasn't even on the lips!
"Something happens?" Hueningkai's voice wakes me.
"He kisses me on the top of my head…" I whisper, and Hueningkai's eyes became wide.
"THAT SUNDAY GUY?" He almost screams so I cover his mouth white my hand.
"Yes, him! Do you think that means something?" Hueningkai sits with me on the floor.
"I don't know, he said something before the kiss?" That question makes me sigh.
"I run away…" I make my confession almost whispering.
"Why?"
"I don't know, I just freak out, and when I realize I'm running…How was it for you and Soobin? You were afraid too?" Hueningkai looked at me worried.
"You promise you wouldn't fall for your stranger Lilo…" The same sadness in Jun's eyes of early there.
"You said that my idea of never falling in love was crazy…" Hueningkai would never hide something from me would he?
"And I still think it is, others people's stories belong to them not you, your parents are not you…But anyway I don't feel like that with Binnie 'cause I know him my entire life, and I love him since I discovered what romantic love means so when he kissed me I stay, I can't say if like you, or if just playing with you Lilo, we don't really know him…" I sigh, he was kinda right so I wouldn't talk back "Now to the choreography we should start…"
"What's going on with Ariel?" I start stretching my body helping Hueningkai stretch his.
"She is possessed by Sharpay spirit since Mr. Ortega was enchanted by you singing Satisfied of Hamilton's musical" He gives me that accusing look.
"I was just practicing for my vocal classes…" Hueningkai sighs.
"As your friend, I must say, if you want to keep your relationship with Ariel, don't take from her what she worked her entire life to achieve, but before you say that's not your dream anyway, as a future director your whole thing is precious, has soul…" He took a deep breath and finish the stretch "Don't wait, let's go, let's make this choreography"
And that's what we did until late in the night when our English slash arts professor Mr. Ortega interrupts saying that school needs to close, my legs were tired enough to me don't contest.
"I just need to use the bathroom before we go," Hueningkai says running through the hall.
"One more time Miss Fisher, I must say, you should apply to our play, you would be an amazing Vanessa on our In the Heights…" I smile politely at him, I would do that only if I wish lost my best friend "Ah I have a favor to ask you," He took a piece of paper from his notebook "I didn't know if I should ask you, but earlier I saw that he brings you here so it must be a fine thing at your home now" I read the paper was an English test, made by Choi Yeonjun, Danielle's child "Can you give this back to you stepbrother?" I can't find an answer to "See you guys tomorrow!" And he leaves.
My heart lose a beat, and I felt dizzy like Jun was the gravity, the force that keeps me connected to the earth, but I lost this, he knew it, and he played me like a fool, oh my god I'm so stupid after all Henry did to mom I still made myself believe so blindly on the first guy that show up in front of me.
"What I lost?" Hueningkai asks so I remember that look on his face early, I put Choi Yeonjun's test in front of his face.
"You knew that Sunday's guy was Choi Yeonjun?" Hueningkai look at me without saying a thing, he knew it "Oh my god, I am such a stupid person, why didn't you tell me? Aren't we friends Hueningkai"
"Of course we are, is just, is more complicated than you think, I discovery just a feel days ago, I was just trying to choose the right words to tell you to cause you a sensible…" I take a deep breath was so hard to breathe, Hueningkai tries to hold my hand but I push his hand away.
"Don't touch me" Hueningkai's eyes became full of tears "You should say when you found it" So I turn around and one more time I start to run like I always do, run until I don't feel my legs, run until I don't feel anything. And I only stop running once I'm in front of Henry's house. The door opens before I knock, showing Ariel's face, I just lose my two best friends in one night, and someone upstairs really hates me.
"I can explain Lilo…" His voice was just a whisper.
"Straight A's you were forgetting your charm in my room…" Jun, better saying Yeonjun, was talking until he saws me "Lilo…" I crumple up the paper and throw it against your chest. "Here's your English test, Mr. Ortega ask me to give it back to you, is delivered now… Jun, better saying, Choi Yeonjun!" Ariel's eyes became wild.
"I didn't know it I swear Lilo, I didn't even imagine he was Sunday's…" She tries to reach me but I step back.
"To the hell the fact he was Sunday's guy, you knew very well that he is Henry's stepson, and you knew more than everyone how I feel about that! How would hurt me"
"I just thought that you were being over dramatic, nobody can hate a parent so much for the rest of their lives!" My blood boiled inside my veins "And I don't know maybe our bond makes your heart easier to be reached, cures a little bit of your anger, and accepted the new members of your family, as much you did with Mr. Kangand Taehyun"
"First and remember really well my words, don't you ever compare Mr. Kang to his mother, Mr. Kang didn't sleep with his mom while my dad was treating cancer using every single energy that he had inside his body to get better through chemotherapy was the otherwise" I look her up to down "You should be Henry's daughter, because you both are so selfish, with a protagonist syndrome, like the entire universe should bow to you, how stupid narcissist a person should be to THINK THAT I WOULD FORGIVE YOU FOR THAT?" Ariel's eyes became full of tears "Save your tears, Ariel, 'cause even kids know that crocodiles cry while they eat…"
"He is not your enemy Lilo!" I look at Choi Yeonjun's face the tears are running down his chick.
"I didn't mean to hurt you…" His voice was just a whisper "I just wanna became close to you, and things start to complicated because I knew that at the moment you discover you would hate me and I didn't wanna that, you're so important to me Lilo, one of my best friends in life"
"So you lied to me, and started to date my best friend to reach me…" I accuse him, but he didn't say anything.
"What is happening here?" Nice timing Beomgyu, for the first time you are at the right place at the right time "What are you doing here again?" He asks Ariel.
"She is visiting her boyfriend" I answer white all hate in my voice "Apparently they start this whole thing to make my heart softly and accept the new members of my family…" So Beomgyu look at me like he knew every single thought in my head, how insane I think was that idea and he agrees.
"Are you trying to make her explode from feeling so much hate? Cause I wanna remember you both, that's my exclusivity" I hold my laugh, and the idea strikes me as thunderously.
"Don't talk about her like you are in times that much…" Ignoring Choi Yeonjun's words I walk decided looking at Beomgyu only, he stares at me but doesn't resist even for a second when I hold his neck and pull towards me I look into his eyes, and his eyes were on my lips, I take this as consent and kiss him and my insanity.
Beomgyu's body against mine was insanity, his strong arms holding me even close making me feel every single muscle of his body, his lips so softly but strongly against mine, my legs became jelly, when we stop kissing, he looked inside my eyes. like somehow he could read everything inside them, so he kiss my ear lobe, making my entire body tickle.
"Don't think this will make me take it easy on you in class…" And there he is, disturbing me again, now hits differently but still wanna punch him.
"What you think old stepbrother? Felling more connected with me now? Did I reach your heart kissing your best friend?" The silence was my answer.
"You're such a child," Ariel says after all.
"You don't see anything yet little princess, I feel now that I need to cure your protagonism syndrome and Mr. Ortega asks me one more time if I wanna be Vanessa…" By the look on her face, she got mad.
"You wouldn't" I make a sarcastic pound.
"I will, 'cause I need to cure you… And you," I turn to Beomgyu that didn't take his eyes off me, and right now I must admit if it was just the two of us... "I need my bond with my brother to become even more strong, so see you later!"
⇢ summary: Lilo is a complicated girl, but also is Beomgyu and the journey of both are a mess.
⇢ pairing: Lilo x Beomgyu.
⇢ a/n: hi my people, it's being a long time since lost in your love story right? well i was really trapped in this thing called adulthood, it's sucks i know, but for me is always better then anything i lived while i was a tennager, i'm working on that on therapy I promise, which is why this story came to me, I think, here you will find deep things about me, so please don't judge... too much... ok?I know we live in a plastic society today, where everyone is so perfect and lives those perfect lives, but in this story everyone is (un)perfect, like me, so I'm showing the most human that my perfectionism allowed me to be, hope you all undertand.
Chapter 1: Attention.
Chapter 2: Ditto
Beomgyu's POV
All this semester I have had a nemesis, yes a nemesis, there's no one on this planet that pisses me off more than Lilo Fisher, this girl is capable to bring out the worst in me, she thinks that knows everything, and judges everyone from the high pedestal she put herself on because she is so spoiled.
"You should take a picture if you gonna stare her that much…" Hueningkai says giving my test, I blushed like I was found doing something wrong.
"And congrats to Miss Fisher, you had first place in the class," Lilo smiled at the paper in front of her, and then look directly at me, I hate her so much when she gives me that full-of-teeth smile.
"Thank you, professor" Hueningkai sits next to her "Should we go celebrate lunching with Soobin oppa?" She asks him,
"Oh, so you're not running to Sunday guy?" Hueningkai messes with her hair, and Lilo seems shy for feel seconds.
"Well is not Sunday so…"
"Okay, I'll accept not to only celebrate your ego, but I also miss my boyfriend so much…" In my wildest dreams, I call Yeonjun like this.
My boyfriend, not only my best friend, mom says it's a curse on our family, cause when she was a teenager she also fall for a boy that end up being gay, so was my turn to fall for a straight guy and we laugh together, sometimes I really don't understand how an angel like her get marry with someone like my dad.
I leave class without looking at Lilo once, afraid of Hueningkai finding me doing something wrong again, when I was in the hall I hear some girl screaming at her boyfriend.
"YOU NEVER DO ANYTHING RIGHT, HOW CAN SOMEONE BE SO USELESS," she says, and then memories of my dad saying the same thing to me and my mom invaded my mind and became hard to breathe, I was far from him, living in another city with nana and my mom I try to remember myself, I was frozen, in the middle of my leaving room at my old house, my dad was breaking stuff like always, I could feel the smell of that place again.
"Hey idiot, are you okay?" I hear someone that seems really far call me, familiar but I was stuck on that memory "Listen to me, you are safe here" Dads break another thing and the voice became far I try to follow but it was hard to connect "I need you to take a deep breath, follow my voice I'm right here…" I inspire the air with all strength that I have than exile "Nice, you're doing great, the place you're stuck, has a television or a radio?" What f was that question? I look at the leaving room, dad still screaming I see the radio right next to the sofa "Take another deep breath, can you turn it on?" I breathe one more time, was so hard but I turn the radio on so I a hear a song, a calming song in my ears.
"Stay in the middle, like you are little" slowly I was taking control of my breathing again, I open my eyes, and found Lilo's brown eyes, they were so dark, like puss in boots eyes, what heck, she took a deep breath and I follow her movements "Someone calls the emergency, they're coming to help you" She was holding the headphones on my head "Sorry if I cross the line getting this close of you, but this was something my mom used to do with me when I had a panic attack…" She step back, and I hold her hand, was too afraid to come back to that room inside my mind, if Lilo disappears maybe I get locked in that place again. So the paramedical put the oxygen mask on me and slowly I feel more connected with reality.
"Don't need to call my mom…" I whisper.
"She's already here child," The nurse says to me while checking my heart frequency "You should be taking medicine for those you know that right?"
"I take, was just a random episode, too much stuff at the same time…moving houses, changing school…" I try to explain, so Yeonjun enters the room.
"Are you okay Beomgyu?" He seems so worried that makes my heart flutter.
"I'm fine hyung" Yeonjun holds my hand, his touch was so rough, because of guitar training, that's for some dumb reason reminds me of Lilo holding my hand, helping me to keep calm, but her touch was soft, of course, she never works her entire life, that's why her spoiled hands were so soft.
"My baby," mom's says looking at me "Are you hurt? A kind girl with a cute name give me this, say it that's for you" Mom give me a small bear, the size of a charming key, on his belly was writing [BREATH] "But she said she still bit you up, on school tests! I like her!" I roll my eyes, this was such a Lilo Fisher thing to do "I think she likes you so make sure that she knows you are not interested" Yeonjun laugh.
"She would never do that because she is my half-sister that hates me and Beomgyu for the occasion of being my best friend" Best friend is better than nothing Choi Beomgyu, I tell myself I hold the bear, was so soft, made for squeezy.
"I don't know if she cares about you that much Junnie, look, we hate each other, but she takes care of me the whole time" I got nothing to lose, her voice singing in my mind, dam it. I have everything to lose Lilo.
"She seems in love with someone else," His eyes became darker, oh Yeonjun, please don't fall for that spoiled girl, don't break my heart like this "Lilo helped because she is a good person you liking it or not"
"How can you call a good person someone that says those things about your mom?" Yeonjun took a deep breath, and sigh.
"My little sis and my dad passed away, one month later she was having an affair with Henry while his wife was surviving... an sorry about my mouth aunt, mother f cancer, mom is not saint, Lilo has her reasons…" One more time he is on her side, this makes me mad, even when I know he is right.
"Okay, I need to rest, can we go home mom?"
We stay in silence all the way home, I hold that dame bear like if I dropped I would come back to that place in my mind, why wasn't Yeonjun the one to take care of me? Why do I feel like I need to do something for her?
The next day was Friday and I decided to spend it at home, my body's energy was drained, watching tv shows, and for so dumb reasons Saturday night I drive downtown, San Seoul was always in a party vibe, and I need have fun, I don't drink because my medicines, but I laugh with old friends, people that I don't have to hide anything of me. I dance, and kiss some boy that I don't even know the name of, but was so good to feel that someone was desiring me, and I was desiring him.
"Come with us to the Truck party, has a lot of good music, and people that are fun Beom," The boy says, I just follow him, someone was singing in the back of a truck, which explains the party's name
So one more time I feel like I was found doing the wrong thing, Hueninkai's eyes found me, that guy has a gay radar on him, how did he always know where to look to find me? He smiled at me and waved, I look back to see if he wasn't talking with another person, but he walks in my direction with his boyfriend, Choi Soobin.
"I'm so glad to see you here all health Beomgyu hyung," Hueningkai says smiling, ah, he is having empathy by the episode at school, ew "That way Lilo will shut up about being worried as a human being" He imitates her voice perfectly "And will come back to be obsessed only about that Sunday guy" Hueningkai rolls his eyes.
"Wait, Lilo is here?" I ask and Soobin nodded.
"Yes she will be the main performance since Ariel is somewhere," He says "I don't wanna hear her complain after Lilo became a successful singer, because that boy "Soobin whistles "The way Lilo sings is almost a spiritual thing, I will buy some soda for you Kai, do you guys want something?" We denied and Soobin left.
"I think you're so great Hueningkai" The boy hugging me says "Date a bisexual guy implies on really trust, I would be jealous even about the way he was talking about your bestie"
"Do you know Lilo?" I ask the boy in my arms, and he denies "Well she is like a diva, doesn't matter what sexuality you will feel something for her, hate or love," I sigh "And please be respectful about other people's sexuality, what you just say was so biphobic…" I explain gently"
"Oh my god, you are so boring right now, I'm leaving" No one will miss you, I wanna say but wasn't a need for any drama.
"Thank you Beomgyu" Hueningkai whispered, "I'm glad Soobin didn't hear that bull shit, he struggled enough because of people with opinions like his…"
"Don't worry" I saw Soobing coming in our direction and trying to change the subject "So if Lilo is that great singer, why Ariel is the one always in the lead?"
"Lilo didn't sing anything before she meet this Sunday boy, was a surprise for us too" Hueningkai explains "Beside him, you're the only person she talks about, but don't say to her that I told you"
"So Yeonjun was right she is in love with someone" The words just runway from my mouth.
"How does he know? I, Soobin, and Ariel were the only ones to know until now…" Hueningkai looks at me "And being honest if your friend even breaths closer to Lilo, she will not be kind like she was with you…" And is like my mind is completely a puzzle, the way Yeonjun talks to me, his eyes, his almost jealous, he knowing Lilo was in love with someone. I gasp, that was so cruel, even me hating Lilo, my god "Beomgyu, I don't know to do what Lilo did at school so don't freak me out and breath!"
"It's him Hueninkai" I saw Soobin losing his breath too.
"Him what?" Soobin sighs at Hueningkai's question.
"She will be so devastated, she is so in love with him…" Soobin mumbles.
"Do you both know who is?" Hueningkai was shocked.
"Yeonjun is Sunday guy Kai," I say at the end.
"Hi everyone my name is Lilo, my best friend in life Ariel that is a way best singer than me couldn't make it today, but I hope you all enjoy my voice too… So let's go!" Lilo said at the top of a truck.
Soobin was so right, hearing Lilo sing was a spiritual experience, I think it was because she canalizes all her feeling on that, and Lilo was someone with a lot of feelings, deep feelings, I wish I could protect her as she did with me, but you can't protect people for themselves. All over the internet, I was the kind that never believes what is on the internet, but maybe just this once, I always read that gay guys have their own divas, maybe Lilo was mine. But I would never tell her that.
"Hueningkai, I think we must do something I will try to talk with Yeonjun tomorrow, see if everything that I'm thinking is thruth, can you distract Lilo for feel hours?" Hueninkai looks at Soobin, that seems positive about my idea.
"Yes, but you unless has a plan?" I sigh.
"First I will check if Sunday guy is really Yeonjun, then if was relly him, I call you, and you call her saying is an emergency" Hueningkai thinks for while.
"Okay, I can do that, and I know is your best friend, but if he is doing that, he is a idiot"
"I love my Lilo, but she dosen't have the best personality eider, maybe they both just going throught a lot" Soobin coments.
"Yes, I prefer think that way too" I say thinking about everything Yeonjun survived this years.
"Sorry if I'm being too nousing…" Soobin starts "But he knows about your feeling for him?" So I felt my face burn, and Hueningkai quickly says.
"You don't have to answer, this is not his busness" I never said out loud my feeling for Yeonjun but would be good.
"He dosen't, and I preferer keep that way" And was like taking out something heavy from may shoulders "Only my mom and my grandma knows I'm gay"
"Untill minutes before I could swer you were bisexual by the way you were looking at Lilo" Soobin comments, and Hueningkai slaps softly his arms.
"You think everyone is bisexual! Dosen't even need a reason!" Hueningkai accuses his boyfriend.
"I need stand for my people! You know how much we and the other with a no binary sexuality suffers in this comunity? We're call perves, confusing, etc. We need stay together!" I laugh because of the voice tone Soobins was using, was so great have an comfortable conversation with close age friends.
"Well I have being gay since I was born, almost fifiteen year…" Soobin smiles.
"The same way people discover they're bisexual after a lot heterosexual relationships, some people discover on the otherwise… Sexuality can be fluid as a river." Hueningkai roll his eyes.
"Can you please respect Beomgyus sexuality? He stands for you just an hour ago, don't make him regreat" Soobin expression change, and I smile at him.
"Sorry, I don't mean being pushing or anything"
"I don't mind, is really great to have friends to talk about those things!" So they both hug me, this makes me frooze in surprise.
⇢ summary: Lilo is a complicated girl, but also is Beomgyu and the journey of both are a mess.
⇢ pairing: Lilo x Beomgyu.
⇢ a/n: hi my people, it's being a long time since lost in your love story right? well i was really trapped in this thing called adulthood, it's sucks i know, but for me is always better then anything i lived while i was a tennager, i'm working on that on therapy I promise, which is why this story came to me, I think, here you will find deep things about me, so please don't judge... too much... ok?I know we live in a plastic society today, where everyone is so perfect and lives those perfect lives, but in this story everyone is (un)perfect, like me, so I'm showing the most human that my perfectionism allowed me to be, hope you all undertand.
Chapter 1: Attention.
Far from the downtown of San Seul, in the small neighborhood called Madeline, two little girls meet each other at preschool in the year 2002, one was called Ariel like Little Mermaid and because of that all the little girls decided that they would use princess names as nicknames, but the other girl didn't look like any princess at that time.
"You look just like Lilo…" Ariel says to her "From Lilo and Stitch, they have nicknames, but you get the face"
"But she is not a princess…" Lilo says almost crying, what else could a five-year-old girl do? "Wouldn't it be as much cool…" So something, better saying someone moves inside the sandbox.
"What you're talking about?" The boy with a cute accent emerges from the sand "Lilo is friends with an alien.." The sandboy makes Stich's noises "So much cooler than the others... By the way, my name is Hueningkai''
And for that day for the rest of their lives, no one on this earth would be capable of separating that trio, unless until high school.
2012
"Lilo, are you saying that you are not even considering falling in love?" Hueningkai asks while she was helping Ariel with a new haircut, bangs were difficult to do alone.
"Didn't you see how my mom was when my dad died? She almost made me an orphan! I don't wanna love if it's gonna hurt me like that…"
"Your father didn't die Lilo, he just thinks divorce was a better way…" Ariel says "And your mother is okay now with Mister Kang right? And you get a stepbrother Taehyun is cool, Soobin oppa says he is really cool, maybe if you open yourself…"All that conversation makes Lilo's blood boil.
"Stay still Ary, I will cut your hair right now" Lilo warned before closing the scissor, Ariel hold her breath, so the three of them look at their bangs in the mirror "We look absolutely cool"
"What on earth did you guys think?" Lilo mom's almost screamed at the bedroom door "Lilo, your hair…why? When? Did you forget that you're gonna have dinner with your dad today? What are you gonna say to him? " Lilo rolls her eyes.
"Tomorrow is our first day in high school, we just wanna look cool" Her mom blink slowly realizing how badly they cut their bangs, Ariel's hair was curly, on the moment that hair dried oh lord, she took a deep breath "And why I should go have dinner with a dead person?"
"Lilo you need to get over this, Henry is still alive and is your father…" Lilo lay on her bed in the most dramatic way.
"I prefer Mister Kang to be my father, Taehyun can't just share him with me?" Lilo's mother's sighed "I swear I'll be a good daughter to him…"
"Kids, I love to have you both here, but you need to go, Lilo needs to prepare herself to have dinner with her father, and your moms probably will need to find a hair stylist to fix the mess you guys did…" Lilo doesn't move a muscle when her friends live her house, "And hurry up Lilo, Henry said that he will be here in half-hour…"
So she does the reasonable thing, for a teenager, of course, put her pillow over her head and screams until she loses her breath.
lilo: [ he is taking me to juice y pies, I can't believe he wants to profane even my child memories argh]
ariel: [everything is gonna be okay lilo, maybe you enjoy]
kai: [you gonna have dinner where Soobin sunbaenim work if anything happens you can ask for help]
We don't talk the whole way until the restaurant unless I don't say a thing, I don't wanna be here, I preferer to be dead! The car stopped at the red light.
"Do you think one day you will forgive me Lilo?" Henry asks me if he deserves it after cheating on my mom and leaving.
"You're not making this easy Henry, you don't know do a simple thing like respect my space," He sighs and I roll my eyes "I'm being honest here Henry, everything you are doing is only making me hate you more and more…"
"I only ask for this night because it is important, and my right as your father…"
"OH, NOW YOU ARE MY FATHER HENRY? NOW? AFTER ALL, YOU DID?" He parks the car in front of Juice y Pies.
"You need to understand that my relationship with your mom is different from our father and daughter bond" I roll my eyes, he is just so stupid and selfish, I hate him so much that I would explode if don't get out of this car, I get inside the restaurant and as always the owner Mr. Park was receiving the night costumers.
"Oh Miss Fisher, long time since I see you right? Tomorrow starts your freshman year right?" I smiled at him, Mr. Park was the only stable thing in San Seoul, the only thing that was there forever, and will be there until the end of the says "Oh Mr. Fisher, how long too, good see you both on good terms, fathers and daughters should always get along, is for the best.."
"Henry is not my father anymore Mr. Park but it is really good to see you again…"
"I made a reservation, table seven, there's someone waiting already…" Henry says ignoring my sharp words, let's see how long he can do this.
Mr. Park guided us to silence the people at the table: my dad's new wife and probably her son, which couldn't be worse.
"Where's Yeonjunie?"Henry asks Danielle.
"He is almost arriving, he get some things to solve on the buffet at the last minute" Danielle answered, she get up and offered her hand to compliment me, I pretended I didn't see "Hum, this is Beomgyu my son best friend…" Oh so he can bring friends, I don't… I look at Henry like I could murder him with my eyes.
"When I think you are already a terrible person, you unlocked a whole new level Henry," I say.
"Yeonjun hyung said that you were dramatic, but I don't believe it was that much…" Beomgyu mumbles.
"If you have something to say, don't act like a coward, have the nerve to say it out loud, what is the purpose of that much muscle if it doesn't give you courage enough to sustain a simple thing as your words?" I look into his eyes, he gets up to face me.
"You don't know anything about my courage, or about Danielle and Yeonjun, so don't you dare say a thing… Maybe if you have a part-time job like us you would have a more realistic vision of the world" I smile sarcastically,
"Guess what Beomgyu I give zero fucks about your opinion, about Danielle and her son's opinion! I was obligated to be here, so guess what? I will be as much dramatic, crazy and any other misogynistic thing that you can say about me, cause guess what, I don't give a shit about what you think, but if you gonna say it anyway, you should say it out loud like you owned what you just say" The look on his eyes are pure hate, nice now I'm not the only uncomfortable here.
"If you don't behave this night, I will ask for shared custody Lilo," My dad warned I laugh.
"Try your best Henry, at my age, I can decide who I stay with," I look at him "If you make my mom feel bad another time for doing a thing like this, even if she says she will never talk to me again, I swear I will ask the judge a restrictive measure and you will not be able to get near me ever again…"
"How can you be so cruel to your own dad? He just wanna spend more time with you" Beomgyu says out loud this time.
"If you're sad for him, you can keep '' I say finally sitting. "Can we just finish this fast so I can go home? Tomorrow I have class, so be fast.."
"You're not the only one that has class tomorrow…" Beomgyu says smiling like a fool, lord I wanna punch him so much, break that perfect nose on his face "Lilo honbae…"
"Just over my dead body…" I say it. High school was my dream. It would be my golden years with my friends before we go to college. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "You can't do this to me…" I say to Henry.
"Lilo, let's eat first and later we talk about this with calm," Henry was such a cynical person, he wanted to destroy everything good in my life just because my mom found a way to be happy without him.
"I'm… I need to go to the bathroom" So I live the table, he will not ruin my high school, and I wouldn't let this happen, ever. So I feel someone hold me I look up and found Soobin's eyes.
"Go to the kitchen, I will make something good for you to eat" I nodded "You gonna be okay Lilo, we won't let these guys mess with you okay?"
"Okay," I whisper.
"I'll be there in a minute, " Binnie says, going to the saloon. I look at the kitchen door, and I just can't face Soobinie right now without collapsing, so I live using the back door.
Outside I feel I can breathe again, I look at the sky, just a feeling starts glowing because of how much light downtown propagates.
"You are the karaoke girl right?" A guy using a black leather jacket, he was so handsome that I wasn't able to structure a reasonable sentence "At the beach this summer you were singing, where was the song?" He sings the rhythm "You got me looking… How it was?"
"You got me looking for attention…?" I kinda sing and his smile became bigger "Sorry I don't remember you at Ariel's birthday party, you're her cousin?" He waves his head negatively.
"I was just a waiter, me and my best friend, his parents have a company that organizes parties, that day two waiters get sick and we were the only thing left…"
"Oh, that makes sense…"
"You sing really well by the way…" I feel my face burning "Everything is okay? I mean you seem very upset minutes ago…"
"My dad obligates me to come here, only to say that I will study with the son of the woman he cheats on my mom…" His expression became serious like he was really listening to me "Henry knows how much I wait for high school, I need to be perfect you know cause after that I and my best friends will follow completely opposite ways, this should be our golden years… And now is ruined…" I look at him, he seems torn somehow "Sorry I'm just oversharing my problems with you when I don't even know your name…"
"Is Y...Jun! My name is Jun" He says and the way he says remembers me of when I first met Hueningkai.
"Are you Hawaian Jun?" His eyes became wide.
"You're the first that guess right…" I smile at him.
"Well, I think I may not be everybody" Jun's smile became bigger "Are you driving? I know I just met you but I would be really grateful if you help me to escape..."
"Only if you promise that you'll sing during our runway, I really like your voice…" He offers me a helmet, I never rode on a motorcycle, and this makes my heart go even faster.
"Deal!" Jun took out his jacket and give it to me.
"So you don't get cold," I accept, my heart was beating so fast, was complete insanity just jumping on a stranger's back, but his perfume was so good that make all my survival instincts sleep for a while.
"Lilo where are you?" I heard Soobin's voice.
"Now Jun, we need to go!" I hug his dorso and his driveway, and we stay in silence until he parks at Sunset Square, was close enough to my house so I could walk home from there "Thank you, so much Jun…" I start to take off his jacket.
"You don't wanna talk about what happened?" He asks getting closer, a stranger was more willing than anyone in my family.
"I already overshare too much with you, I even already lie to you…" He looks confused I look at my feets "The one singing at the party was Ariel, I was just with the mic cause she was a bit nervous being on stage because of her family" So Jun laugh "I'm good at a lot of things, but singing is not one of those things, maybe one day…Thank you so much, one more time" So I fill my heart with courage, get on my tiptoe and give him a kiss on the chick "You really have me looking for your attention…" I whisper and just run. "SEE YOU HERE NEXT SUNDAY, 4 P.M, I'LL WAIT FOR YOU!" I scream running without looking back, oh lord I lose my mind.
"I'll be here!" I answer, OH MY GOD! I turned to see him one more time, Jun was already on his motorcycle but looking at me smiling "I'll be here" He said one more time, I ran all my way home.
When I got to my front door, mom ran in my direction and hugged me, with strength, she was crying and this broke my heart. I was as selfish as Henry.
"You run all the way home my love?" She asks I nodded if I say I take a drive with a complete stranger she probably would collapse "I'm sorry that I made you go when you don't want, is just Henry will always be your father, whether you like it or not…"
"Danielle's son could bring a friend, but Hueningkai and Ariel couldn't go with me, I was completely alone with all those strangers, Henry dares to put Danielle's son in my school, he knows how much I planned this year to be perfect, but he wanted I remind of him every single day…" Mom gets speechless.
"My girls, come inside, are already late…" Mr.Kang says inside the house "Lilo, I did that chocolate candy that you love so much!"
"Mr. Kang, you should adopt me, you know that right?" I answer by making him laugh and mom smile.
"I consider you my kid as much as Taehyun is, I don't need a piece of paper to tell this!" We get inside, and the first thing I do is hug him "Oh my little girl, you have a busy night, Taehyun call a feel hours ago, and he says that you can call him if you need anything…"
"I will send him a message, he probably studying this time, Law School is not easy" I make a spoon fool of brigadeiro, and for some damn reason that Beomgyu's words echoed in my mind "Mr. Kang, do you think I can have a volunteer job at your law office? I could help with the organization," Mom looks surprised and Mr. Kang gives me a big smile.
"I thought the plan was to live fully in your high school," Mom commented.
"I plan to live fully my life" I put another spoon full of brigadeiro in my mouth "And this will help on my curriculum"
"Let's think about this next semester okay? Once you adapt to your classes we definitely can find something for you there, Taehyun started as a volunteer as well" I smile at the possibility of just rubbing it in that idiot's face.
"Now when you finish I think you should go to bed, it is really late and you have class in the morning," Mom says and kisses the top of my head.
That night I dreamed about running away with Jun we were going so fast that I opened my arms and felt like I'm flying so another motorcycle get next to ours. I look at the pilot and was that idiot Beomgyu, he offered his hand to me, and I hug Jun with more strength.
"You'll hurt yourself that way, you idiot!" I roll my eyes.
"Why did you care?" And before Beomgyu could answer Henry shows up in front of Jun's motorcycle, Junie tries to stop but everything happens too fast, on the other minute I'm on my room floor.
⇢ summary: Hwa Suji is a very skilled makeup artist who works at her best friend's salon, serving major Korean entertainment companies and that includes the artists she is a fan of: Tomorrow x Together! One day when protecting one of the members, she ends up having a car accident that takes her to another universe! The universe of your favorite fanfic called "Winter Song" but the thing is, life is not a strawberry, her new universe got a target on her back, she's the villain and has no idea how survive this cannon.
⇢ pairing: Choi Yeonjun x Hwa Suji.
⇢ Chapter 1 : Life is not a strawberry.
⇢ Chapter 2 : Love is a Disease.
⇢ Chapter 3 : Made a little cookie...
⇢ Chapter 4 / 5 / 6
⇢ Chapter 7 : Why Don't You Stay?
⇢Chapter 8: Beyond this universe
⇢ Chapter 09 : I know I love you
⇢ Chapter 10: Lips on You
⇢ Chapter 11: Opening Sequence
⇢ Chapter 12: Sour
⇢Chapter 13: Waiting for a lifetime for you
⇢Chapter 14: Breaking Down
⇢Chapter: 15: A Sweeter Place
Chapter 16: Looking at Paradise
"If I forget everything, don't worry, not even for a second I'll forgot the feeling of loving you" I say holding Yeonjun's hand, his eyes and mine are full of tears "I love you, here and in every single universe that exists" We lay side by side.
"I'll start," The writer says putting the pen on my skin, she draws half a heart in my hand, and do the same with Yeonjun, the heart complete each other, and my eyelids became heavy, it's impossible to fight against that feeling, end I sleep.
"Are you ready babe?" I hear Yeonjun calls me, I look at myself in the mirror, oh my god it works! We made it "Let's go, the only one allowed to be late is Yeosang, he already say that!" I open the door and Yeonjun is handsome in a suit "Wow, you look amazing" He whispers, I look into his eyes, looking if he is aware like me, he blinks at me, that's a signal, he's here with me.
"Okay, I'm ready to let's go… It's just, I need just return some books to the library after the wedding" I pick some books in my bad, looking at the room, is Yeonjun's apartment on the manhwa, memories of that apartment became easy to my mind, I wanna cry, how I could forget those things?
Once we were inside the car, I know what L.M. means about shadows, it was like my body was free from strings that I do not even notice before, maybe the fact I was in a comma didn't let me see the difference.
"We have feel hours after the wedding, to find the portal, Changbin, take the pen, and will be over…" I put on my belt.
"Are you okay Suji noona?" I look at him, and wave my head positively, he starts to drive "About your head, no pain?" I hold his right hand and kiss his back.
"I'm sorry for forgetting all we going through Jun…" We stop in front of Gyeongbokgung Palace a lot of press taking photos, wasn't impossible to make a wedding here in our universe, but here everything was possible "Did you notice that not just us became together in our world?"
"Yeah, Tae told us about Jieun last month, and I saw Beomgyu scaping the dorm to meet Yeonsang of our universe, Hueningkai is having a hard time, for him is hard to trust anyone, that girl is massing him up, and Soobin is also in love with you there too…" I blink slowly "Should we get married here, only to guarantee that will happen n our universe?"
"Oh you gonna have to work hard on a purpose Mister Choi" I whisper to him, we sit on the second line.
Beomgyu and Yeonsang have the most beautiful wedding, I wish was possible to bring all the photos Taehyun was taking with me, to my universe, my eyes found Jieun showing me her hand with a big ring, she was engaged! My eyes were full of tears, I understand Seo Changbin a little bit, here, everything was easy.
"We have to go," Yeonjun calls me "Is almost sunset"
"Yes, yes" We walk out without being noticed, the palace was so beautiful, we open a door and see the most amazing and terrifying thing ever, a teenager couple confessing their love and becoming ashes, right in front our eyes, Yeonjun hold strongly my hand.
"We need to find Changbin fast or this can be both of us!" We start to run to the car, and that couple probably was characters of Sorry I love you because the style of the universe changes a lot compared to Winter Song.
"We're already on his story," I say, and Jun start to drive faster "We need to find him, this will disappear like did, in The End, appears in our story," So Yeonjun open the window, and did the unthinkable.
"SEO CHANGBIN YOU FUCKER, SHOW UP YOUR FACE, GIVE US THE FREAK PEN!" He screams through the window "THAT GIRL YOU LET ON OUR UNIVERSE, YOU DOSEN'T DESERVE HER, YOU DON'T DESERVE HER LOVE, AND HOW MUCH SHE APPRECIATES YOU!"
"Look right there, a school must have a library!" He stop the car in the middle of the street, we get off the car, and in seconds he was holding my hand again.
"Writer Changbin, we just wanna the pen to give back to the real owner," I say out loud entering the school, things were disappearing, and my heart starts to beat faster, I hold Yeonju's hand "Writer Changbin, please just give us the pen," The plants start to cover the walls inside the building, so we finally found the library door, one of the characters was knocking them with anger.
"I know who you're, you write this whole thing, right? Why did you let her with the wrong guy and me with the wrong girl you old weirdo? I know you are here! OPEN THE FREAKING DOOR!" He pushes the door "You need re-write this ending!"
"Hey, boy, let me talk from here… I think I can make him open the door" I say calmly as possible, he looks at me.
"You're from his universe, right? You both, the bright on you guys are different…" Yeonjun waves his head positively "Okay, but you should hurry up, seems all here is about to disappear"
"Okay… Writer Changbin, you probably don't know me, I'm Hwa Suji," The moment I say my name, he opens the door, and Changbin's eyes are swollen from crying "L.M send us here, because of her pen…"
"Okay, I was here first, so me first, Changbin-nim, I was the right guy for Sol…"The boy starts to explain.
"I think that too Chan, but things dudes like me and you need to learn is that is not just our needs that matter, Sol decide to be with Minho she even gives me instructions on how to end her arch, and I accepted, was the minimum…" So Chan falls to his knees "Now, I can't give back the pen right now, I'm finishing Sol's story…"
"You can do this in our universe, L.M. will understand," Yeonjun says losing his patience.
"I don't wanna come back. I can't face the disappointment in her eyes," That is it, I hit my limit.
"This is the minimum she deserves, the opportunity that looks at you with disappointment," The anger grows in my chest "You broke her, into so many peace, you have stolen from her a family heirloom, making her worry about you above other things, like destroy our universe, so be men "I don't care if you were honest about your feelings with her, you know she looks up to you and use this to stole the pen, you create this universe first without the pen, you can write Sol's story without that freak pen" I felt Yeonjun arms around my shoulder, my whole body was shaking, Changbin look at Chan and touch his shoulder.
"I will write more for you, and better, I promise" He opens the library door completely and turn to me and Yeonjun "Common, it's time for all of us to come back home" When we cross the door, we're at my bedroom already "The pen always come back to the place that the true owner is," Changbin says and L.M look at us, I step up on her direction to hug her.
"I'll let you have a conversation, but don't forget, I'm downstairs with Yeonjun, anything just screams okay" She smiled at me.
"Yes," She whispers.
"Let me show you my, heart," I say to Yeonjun holding his hand again "Is winter, and probably covered in snow, but could never bother us anyway right?" He kisses the top of my head.
"I wanna be in your heart in winter, spring, summer, and fall in love with you in every season, our story became our history, this is how epic we're babe.." He sings to me, and we start dancing with no song in the living room, moving slowly to the back of my house where the garden "On winter let's see the first snow, to show everyone how we will bloom next spring, oh babe you are the only that makes my heart ring like this, only you make me feel warm like is summer every day, that's why I fall, fall for you, I'm falling in love in every season of your heart" We end up dancing in the garden, was really cold "You wanna talk about the person that hurt you like Changbin hurt the L.M?"
"To be honest, I don't think about this, since I start being your fan, when I start to love you, this change everything to me, because every time I thought what I have being through the only thing I always said to myself was Junnie would never do this, or, Junnie would never talk to me like that, even when my love was one-way love, you heal me Jun" I kiss his face "I'm so sorry for forgetting everything we live" I kiss his lips, his arms around me was the best feeling.
"I love you, in every universe that exists I love you, sorry for taking too long to realize" He kissed me one more time, "This is not our happy ending, this is our happy forever and more."
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