“John Mulaney: Kid Gorgeous Prompts
“It’s time. Any Questions?”
“I wonder who that used to be?”
“Let’s change the subject!”
“Forget about that poor sonuvabitch”
“I guess they’re finally gonna kill us all. Alright.”
“I’m here to tell you there’s hope.”
“None of that matters, but it’s important to me that you know that.”
“He did not look like his job description”
“Shut up, you’re all gonna die.”
“The man with the mustache told me to do it.”
“You kids have no upper body strength”
“Okay, when you get kidnapped…”
“I thought I was gonna be murdered my entire childhood.”
“I thought our transaction was over.”
“I didn’t drink water the entire time.”
“Do my friends hate me or do I just need to go to sleep?”
“Hey, do you want me to kill that guy for you?”
“That’s how much I hate that shit”
“I get grumpy about some things.”
“Tonight’s no good, how ‘bout Wednesday.”
“Famous people are weird as shit.”
“May I look at my stuff please?”
“Think about that for two minutes and tell me you don’t just want to walk into the ocean.”
“It’s doesn’t matter why, but I was sitting in a gazebo.”
“Last November, the strangest thing happened…”
“Everyone, everywhere, is super mad about everything, all the time!”
“He’s as confused as you are.”
“I didn’t know he knew how to do that.”
“First of all, get out of here with your facts.”
“Because I wasn’t paying attention!”
“I’m allowed to make fun of my [spouse], I asked [her/him/them] and [she/he/they] said yes.”
“What do you think those guys are celebrating.”
“Oh, nonono, we all know that.”
“Whoa, what’s this place?”
“Your story doesn’t have a lot of details.”
“We don’t know our lines for shit.”
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