Iām pleasantly surprised to see the writers of Disenchanted make their main character wlw in this latest season. It will be interesting to see just how much theyāll be willing to play with that going forward.Ā
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Iām pleasantly surprised to see the writers of Disenchanted make their main character wlw in this latest season. It will be interesting to see just how much theyāll be willing to play with that going forward.Ā
Reminder that I am still looking for a second mod for this blog. If youāre some form of both aro and ace and would be okay with checking the inbox and maybe making an original post two or three times a week, send me a message!Ā
Hanukkah flags w/ a Hanukkah pattern for anon
Rainbow | Lesbian | Gay
Bi | NB | Trans
Aro | Pan | Ace
hi! iām the questioning genderfluid anon.
thank you so so much for your response and support. this is the first time iām questioning my gender (after i JUST figured out my sexuality for now lmao), and itās just been..... a whole thing. lol.
i was wondering if the term demigenderfluid exists? i was kinda playing around with what my experience of gender is in my head, and because i feel my gender moves between female and nonbinary to a smallish-but-significant-enough-degree-that-i-pick-up-on-it-but-wouldnāt-change-anything-in-accordance-like-pronouns-or-clothing-or-makeup-etc (idk maybe makeup) i kinda just came up with that term, but wasnāt sure if that was already a thing or meant something different. does this term even make sense? is it like invalidating a genderfluid experience? should i just stick with genderfluid lmao
iām sorry if this is a really stupid question, my brain is a bit overwhelmed with all of this
seriously, thank you so much for allowing me to talk to you. i feel like i canāt talk about this with my parents, as theyāre already the āāaromanticā and āasexualā put you into a box with the lABeL and you shouldnāt do that!!! you might fall in love!!!ā types. š sooooo, yeah, thank you š
Hello!Ā
Iām happy to help you, anon. Like you said, it is a whole thing and you shouldnāt have to go through it alone. None of your questions are stupid. This isnāt exactly an easy topic to navigate.
I googled what youāre describing and apparently, enough people feel similarly that thereās a wiki page. Regardless, you arenāt invalidating anybody else by putting words to your experiences.Ā
https://gender.wikia.org/wiki/Demifluid
Iām sorry your parents arenāt more supportive. Maybe theyāll come around in the future.Ā
i am so sick of romantic relationships. i am close with my sister, and she recently(ish) got into a relationship. sheās been pulling further and further away from me, talking to me less, generally being less interested in whatās happening in my life ā but she apparently has no limit when it comes to telling me how āhotā her girlfriend is. sheās almost always talking about her, and ALWAYS facetimes her when iām present. iām at the beach now, and i just want to spend time with her, and she has almost done nothing but facetime her girlfriend. it fucking sucks. i just want to be with my sister. not my sister and her girlfriend. her girlfriend is like taking over her life, and i am so sick of hearing about it, iām sick of seeing it, iām sick of it. iām done. but of course i canāt tell her any of this as iāll seem unsupportive. but as an aro person who longs for a romantic relationship but knows, knows, it will never work, i really donāt know how much more of this i can take. sheās facetiming her girlfriend now as iām sitting alone in the same room with her. i feel so, so alone.
Iām sorry youāre in this situation, anon. It absolutely sucks when the people weāre close to start to prioritize other relationships, especially when they decide the time they will spend with you is for talking almost exclusively about their romantic life.Ā
Maybe it would help to get somebody else on your side and then talk to your sister about this, like a parent, other sibling, or mutual friend. That way, it will come across less like you having a personal issue and more like her letting the other people in her life feel unimportant.Ā
If this isnāt possible, I still think itās important for the two of you to have an honest talk. You not liking that all your sisterās time is being taken up by her girlfriend isnāt being unsupportive, and neither is them facetiming when the two of you are supposed to be spending time together.
If itās anything, this level of infatuation doesnāt tend to last very long. Theyāll start seeing one another as actual people instead of idealized versions and largely return to how they used to be.Ā
Anybody interested in playing Among Us? I finally got the switch version.Ā
Thanks for everybodyās usual patience in me getting to my inbox. My goal is to get it completely cleaned out and answered by xmas.
Big Mouth was EXTREMELY hit and miss with its lgbtqiap+ content last season, but it does feel like the writing room actually asked a trans person about what their experiences were like while creating a trans character. Likewise, the ordeal of coming as gay out to an unsupportive parent was handled with a lot of grace. The show definitely has its problematic elements and the raunchy, gross-out humor isnāt for everyone, but it is nice to see show creators that are willing to learn and improve.Ā
PLEASE keep wearing your masks and for PETEāS SAKE wear it properly over your nose!Ā
Iām 17F aroace, and I have recently figured out that I have a squish on one of my best friends, and I would love to be in a qpr with her. Weāve been friends since we were in like 2nd grade, and weāve even talked about dating before, but strictly conceptually and jokingly. But now, itās not necessarily a joke for me. Whatās a bit devastating is we are both starting college next year, Iām hoping to leave the US, and sheās staying local, so even if she should reciprocate my feelings (which I donāt think she does), itās unrealistic just given our timeline and impending distance between us. šŖš And this is the first time Iāve ever felt this way about anyone, ever.
Iām sorry youāre in such a tough situation, anon. Itās never fun having unreciprocated feelings for someone.Ā
At the end of the day, youāre young. The odds of you finding someone else you feel similarly about at some point are high. You being willing to travel so far to pursue youāre education and future says to me that youāre serious about your goals. It might be best that youāre able to focus on your freshman year and not worry about navigating a new QPR.Ā
I hope the two of you are able to stay friends through everything if thatās what you want.Ā
okay, so iām not really sure if this is where i should ask this but here we go: so i am ace/aro, but iām also questioning if iām genderfluid... i feel like my internal (idk how to describe it) gender moves from identifying as a female to not wanting to identify as any gender at all. would this count as being genderfluid or something of the sort? if i am genderfluid, do i ever have to come out? or can i like.... just keep it to myself? sorry, this is just a whole new thing for me and i have no one to talk to about it. :(
Itās okay if you want to talk to me about gender stuff. This may be primarily an aro/ace blog, but I myself am trans and 100% okay with talking about lgbtqiap+ stuff in general.Ā
To me, what youāre describing definitely sounds like it coincides with being genderfluid.
Itās also your choice whether or not you want to tell people about how you experience gender. Thereās nothing wrong with keeping it to yourself. You donāt owe other people that sort of information.Ā
Itās okay to feel overwhelmed with this sort of thing. Realizing you might not be cis comes with an onslaught of feelings and the need for information we donāt tend to have access to in our daily lives. Try to take things slow and remember that who you are is good and normal, even if youāre still learning to put your experiences in words. You arenāt alone in how youāre feeling and there are people who are here to support you.Ā
Iām here if you want to talk further.Ā
So Iām arospec and a friend just asked me out. I told them I donāt feel anything romantic really and they said they just wanted to have someone to talk to and be honest with about everything. They also said we can be friends but work towards maybe being in a relationship in the future. Iām okay with this but Iām so scared that I wonāt ever feel romance towards them and that I am leading them on. I was really clear with them but still...
That sounds like a tough situation, anon. Itās up to you whether or not this is something you want to pursue. Regardless, you absolutely arenāt leading this person on simply by being yourself and it sounds like they know that. Maybe it would help to talk a bit more about what you both want out of a relationship and then decide if this is something youād like to try.
Does a person qualify as asexual if they feel sexual "needs" but have no desire to act on them with another person?
I would say that sounds pretty ace. Asexual people can experience any level of libido, thereās just no interest in acting on those feelings with any gender.Ā
can i still be asexual if i have high libido?
Absolutely! Plenty of aces like to masturbate or have sex on the regular. Action doesnāt equal attraction.Ā
So... **TW for BDSM mention** Iām someone who has an active lifestyle in k*nk, but Iām only romantically attracted to my partner, nor physically. I like the things we do together because it feels nice, but I donāt look at anyone and think I want to do those things with anyone else. Heās always brought up intimate things first, and I do them because they feel good, and they make him happy. I consider myself ace because of this, but could I be wrong?
None of what youāve described means you canāt be ace, anon. There are more kinky aces than you might think, myself being one of them. Like you said, kink feels good and doing scenes with a kinky partner can create a sense of sexual excitement that isnāt present through physical attraction. Ace people can enjoy sex, kink, and kinky sex without contradicting themselves. The only thing that matters is that everyone is being safe and enjoying themselves.Ā
iām aroace, and iāve got a really complicated relationship to romance. while romance in movies (USUALLY, sometimes i can get hella triggered) results in an exaggerated eye roll, if i hear love songs or songs about romance, i literally canāt. iāve heard some random love songs (two are āstand by meā and ādiamondsā lmao), and they just make me so upset. i want a romantic relationship in theory only. i know myself, and i will never have one in āreal life.ā itās heartbreaking. and a bit odd, it seems, that music should be a trigger of sorts. i was wondering if any other aros have a similar experience?
I donāt think what youāre describing is at all out of the ordinary. I absolutely canāt stand love songs (I swear, if I hear TSās Love Story over the speakers at work one more time) and havenāt watched a romcom in years.Ā
Itās okay to feel irked or even triggered by romantic media. It gets old af being made to feel like thereās something wrong with you and/or that you just canāt get away from this obsession everyone else seems to have.Ā
I also definitely get enjoying the idea of romance, but knowing your needs wouldnāt fit into traditional romantic relationships.Ā
Just so you hear it from someone, though, there is nothing wrong with you. Who you are is good and normal. You are allowed to have these feelings and they are very much shared by other people like you.
If anybody wants to share their experiences with anon, please add onto this post!Ā
Hi! I'm ace and maybe arospec. I don't know if anyone has the same experience, but I have a boyfriend. Whom I love differently than how I love my friends. But I am not sure if I want to kiss him? On paper kissing someone to express affections sounds fine to me, but I don't think that is supposed to be the reasoning behind it? And french kissing sounds messier than it's worth??
Hello! It can be awkward navigated physical affection as an a-spec person. Kissing can be weird, with or without tongue. How one feels about it can also really vary depending on how good the other person is at kissing. Regardless, itās okay to be unsure about the act. Donāt feel rushed to kiss your boyfriend if you arenāt ready. Some people are neutral about kissing, some like it, and others find it gross. Wherever you find yourself on this spectrum, itās important to have an open line of communication with your boyfriend so the two of you can keep one anotherās boundaries and desires in mind.