A place to talk about, learn about and hear about the Aroace spec community! Please ask or tell us anything!! MOD LIST Jamie uses any pronouns, but is masc leaning! They are Aegosexual/Romance-repulsed Aromantic! Noah Oats uses they/them pronouns and is aroace! Ray goes by any pronouns and cupioromantic and aegosexual! Fizz is agender, preferring to use they/them, and are a proud aegoaroace! Remember it's your box!!!
We’re here for all your Questions, Rants, Vents, and Confessions!
Ask box is always open and we’re always here for your asks!
We are here to educate, explain and help with anyone who needs it!
Stay safe, remember you are valid and it's your box!
LOVE U ALL YOU'RE VALID
Commonly asked questions!
Link to my Aro-spec post
Link to a post containing most Ace Spec identities
Asexual Wiki, Aromantic Wiki,
the Asexual Visibility and Education Network -Asexual resource
AUREA — the Aromantic-spectrum Union for Recognition, Education, and Advocacy
List of Aroace Spectrum resources
Amazing post by @styrofauxm "So...you're questioning if you are aromantic and/or asexual..."
The comments section link to a helpful article on how to educate/beat the acephobes
Meet the Mod team:
I’m Jay, I also go by Jamie! I’m gender queer and use any pronouns, but I sometimes swap to preferred pronouns, don’t be afraid to ask! I’m aegosexual-pansexual and a romance repulsed aromantic! I am neurotypical and the OG owner of this blog!
Hey people, my names Noah (or you can call me Nicola as that is a name I also go by :D) and I use they/them pronouns :) I have a long list of labels because I'm a complicated human being lol. I'm non-binary/genderqueer, lesbian/sapphic oriented aroace (I use both labels), with a handful of microlabels (greyromantic, aceflux, apothisexual and aegosexual). I have diagnosed ADHD, and I'm an INFP B)
My name is Ray! I go by any pronouns, and I’m an Agender Cogirl. I am cupioromantic and aegosexual (and many other things, just ask if you want to know!). I also have diagnosed autism, and I’m an ISFP.
Hiiiiii!!! I'm the new mod :3 I’m Fizzamess, you can call me Fizz. I’m agender and prefer using the pronouns “they/them” but I don't get mad if you call me any other pronoun. I’m a proud aegoaroace (aegoromantic and aegosexual) and I'm also caedsexual. I have OCD, lol
This user acknowledges that the land they stand on always was and always will be Aboriginal land. Sovereignty has never been ceded. This user recognises the past atrocities against Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples of this land and that Australia was founded on the genocide and dispossession of First Nations people.)
The Blogs
Thank you to @knowable-entity for drawing (most) of our profile pics!!
Banner art by @pride-flag-planets, thank you for letting us use it!
The forces:
A collection of multi member blogs dedicated to one country of aspecs… all against Denmark
We’re here for all your Questions, Rants, Vents, and Confessions!
Ask box is always open and we’re always here for your asks!
We are here to educate, explain and help with anyone who needs it!
Stay safe, remember you are valid and it's your box!
LOVE U ALL YOU'RE VALID
Commonly asked questions!
Link to my Aro-spec post
Link to a post containing most Ace Spec identities
Asexual Wiki, Aromantic Wiki,
the Asexual Visibility and Education Network -Asexual resource
AUREA — the Aromantic-spectrum Union for Recognition, Education, and Advocacy
List of Aroace Spectrum resources
Amazing post by @styrofauxm "So...you're questioning if you are aromantic and/or asexual..."
The comments section link to a helpful article on how to educate/beat the acephobes
Meet the Mod team:
I’m Jay, I also go by Jamie! I’m gender queer and use any pronouns, but I sometimes swap to preferred pronouns, don’t be afraid to ask! I’m aegosexual-pansexual and a romance repulsed aromantic! I am neurotypical and the OG owner of this blog!
Hey people, my names Noah (or you can call me Nicola as that is a name I also go by :D) and I use they/them pronouns :) I have a long list of labels because I'm a complicated human being lol. I'm non-binary/genderqueer, lesbian/sapphic oriented aroace (I use both labels), with a handful of microlabels (greyromantic, aceflux, apothisexual and aegosexual). I have diagnosed ADHD, and I'm an INFP B)
My name is Ray! I go by any pronouns, and I’m an Agender Cogirl. I am cupioromantic and aegosexual (and many other things, just ask if you want to know!). I also have diagnosed autism, and I’m an ISFP.
Hiiiiii!!! I'm the new mod :3 I’m Fizzamess, you can call me Fizz. I’m agender and prefer using the pronouns “they/them” but I don't get mad if you call me any other pronoun. I’m a proud aegoaroace (aegoromantic and aegosexual) and I'm also caedsexual. I have OCD, lol
This user acknowledges that the land they stand on always was and always will be Aboriginal land. Sovereignty has never been ceded. This user recognises the past atrocities against Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples of this land and that Australia was founded on the genocide and dispossession of First Nations people.)
The Blogs
Thank you to @knowable-entity for drawing (most) of our profile pics!!
Banner art by @pride-flag-planets, thank you for letting us use it!
The forces:
A collection of multi member blogs dedicated to one country of aspecs… all against Denmark
I’m so tired of the “why do people hate aspecs, they aren’t doing anything?” argument. I know that it is an attempt to support us, but it fails so spectacularly to understand aromanticism, asexuality, and any other aspec identity that it’s actively frustrating.
We are doing something. We’re rejecting allonormative ideals and that’s a massive thing to do. We’re actively fighting not just to help other aspecs, but to help everyone, because amatonormativity (and allonormativity as a whole) hurt everyone. Single people who want to find a partner but can’t also deserve to be able to exist.
There are so many issues with the expectation of marriage, including:
A single income isn't enough to get by anymore
Having a spouse is almost necessary under the current medical system
Society shames and pressures people who are single to get into relationships constantly
Rejecting allonormativity means fighting against these things that hurt everyone.
So, no, aces and aros and other aspecs aren't "doing nothing." We're doing quite a lot.
recently saw a comment section full of people, primarily women, talking about loving living with their best friend and being sad about having to live separately one day. some people talking about missing living with their best friend, some talking about “getting” to live with their best friend “until” they find partners. saw one person mention that moving out to move in with a partner felt like a divorce. it makes me so genuinely sad… all these people recognizing the joy they can find living outside the norm, letting themself live with a friend instead of a romantic partner, but still feeling like they have to live with a spouse eventually. like it’s not even a decision, just an inevitability.
The concept that married people live longer is interesting. I'm sure there is some merit to the idea that if you're married there is someone there to nag you about going to the doctor, but I think much larger factors are having the finances of dual incomes and access to an immediate support person.
Surgeries require having a designated person to look after you. Many injuries require driving to somewhere like an emergency room which can be hard to do if you are the one injured. If you're home with the flu, it's hard to tell when it's bad enough to go to the hospital without another person checking on you. And if you pass out it requires another person to find you like that to get medical aid.
You can prop it up as the benefits of marriage, but I think there's a much deeper discussion to be had about how we've built society around marriage as an inevitable conclusion and neglected to build support systems that function outside of romantic pairings.
Person who i mentioned going out to dinner tonight to as a reward for something: Oh who are you bringing with you?
Me: No one
Person: You should invite someone!
Me: Uh no I'm good, this is for me
Person: No shame in dropping an invite in a group chat!
Me, thinking "i would rather die then have dinner with anyone who could come to dinner from the group chat your thinking of: No its fine.
Person: Are you sure?
Me: Yes, its fine.
Like, can people just go out alone? Please? Its not a crime, why does everyone act like you're insane for being alone out to dinner, or to the cinema, or to a play, or like, anywhere that "couples" go. I just want to eat out, by myself, alone, with no one talking to me. You would think I threatened something.
If i can tie to to amatonormativity, I will.
(Also this person is in another state, I called them as a life update thing, so theyre not trying to score an invite)
I love going out to places where its "normal" to take others and just being there, alone.
I love going to a $40 plate (not so much anymore fuck my bank account-) restaurant and being on my phone, alone, reading, maybe even with headphones in.
I love being with myself, I'm the best fucking company I could give myself.
Featuring aroace uno skip patch I made based on this post. I haven't actually sewn it on my patch jacket yet because I'm debating whether my parents will notice and ask about it and whether I am ready to have that conversation 🫠
Proship is anti harassment, ship and let ship, don't like don't read don't interact, proship =/= incest, it means "i don't ship it but its fine if you ship it" its the original "don't yuck someones yum" (though im not sure of the timeline of those two sayings). I am proship; go wild and free.
Queer rights are not my top priority, ill help ofc, vote in favour of rights, march if needed, run this blog etc, but I'm not organising anything personally. my top priorities are women's rights and climate action.
Pro choice, if that wasn't fucking obvious. Until a baby is born I don't honestly care, if a pregnant person doesn't want it, it should be removed like a parasite. fairs fair. Breathing is the start of life not for religious reasons but for "fuck you thats why" reasons.
You don't have to be nice to be kind.
Just bc you don't understand it, doesn't mean it doesn't exist or isn't valid. I, and you, don't speak many languages, doesn't mean they're not spoken.
Burn tiktok to the ground.
final gun shot:
Sometimes US americans need to shut the fuck up. Even the 'left wing' ones. USA left wing is australias centre right, so yeah, you don't know what the fuck is going on. Not everything is about you and I'm fucking sick of every situation, not matter what, being turned into a USA-issue. Australia bushfires? well actuall USA has fires! GLOBAL climate change? well USamerica is leading (its not its reallyreally not) the way in climate action! Like a sport? actually USamerica has a it better/more popular/more interesting/had it first!
just shut the fuck up.
anyway thats my gun shots, clear out!
edit: one more bc I love u
RPF needs to be done in private. I know, were human, we've ALWAYS done this. but its done in such a way that is just creepy and gross now that the internet exists. Speculate privately in group chats or private areas, discord for instance. Block the people youre shipping ffs, don't tag them, don't speculate in a gross-creepy way, don't try and get them to address it, don't approach them in public. KEEP IT PRIVATE AND AWAY from them. PLEASE.
look, shipping canon!aroace characters, as much as it pains me to say, is not wrong. I do hate it and will block you, but no personal hatred or harassment here.
The issue comes when people try and claim theyre NOT canonically aroace. Its fine to be like "This character is aroace but im making them X for this fic". Weird but fine. It is not okay to say "actually character is not aroace theyre actually X canonically idc about the source material". The second one is erasure, plain and simple.
Most important to address is the hypocrisies. IF YOU WOULDN'T DO IT TO GAY OR LESBIAN CHARACTER WHY ARE YOU DOING IT TO AN AROACE?
That needs to be addressed; do you value aroace people less? do you see our identity as less worthy of respect or acknowledgement? is there a reason you would change a canonical idenitiy when its an aromantic or asexual idenity, but you would loose it if someone shipped your favourite yaoi with a woman or yuri with a man?
If you're okay with shipping a canon!aroace character with another character, but lose your shit, if I, for instance, ship Shane Hollander with a woman?
Why is that any different? Both are identities acknowledged in the media are canon, and they show no attraction/attraction to women, so why is me shipping Shane with a woman "so bad and gross" but shipping an aroace character is "normal and fine"?
Is it maybe because you value these identities differently?
Something to consider, that's all.
If you don't care about shipping canon gay men with women, this post is not for you. Its for those who scream about shipping a gay man with a woman saying its "erasure and gross" but turn around and turn a canon!aroace straight/gay/bisexual and say "but this is fine to do".
look, shipping canon!aroace characters, as much as it pains me to say, is not wrong. I do hate it and will block you, but no personal hatred or harassment here.
The issue comes when people try and claim theyre NOT canonically aroace. Its fine to be like "This character is aroace but im making them X for this fic". Weird but fine. It is not okay to say "actually character is not aroace theyre actually X canonically idc about the source material". The second one is erasure, plain and simple.
Most important to address is the hypocrisies. IF YOU WOULDN'T DO IT TO GAY OR LESBIAN CHARACTER WHY ARE YOU DOING IT TO AN AROACE?
That needs to be addressed; do you value aroace people less? do you see our identity as less worthy of respect or acknowledgement? is there a reason you would change a canonical idenitiy when its an aromantic or asexual idenity, but you would loose it if someone shipped your favourite yaoi with a woman or yuri with a man?
