There are few things April knows with certainty. languages, her children, and Clint’s unerring ability to maintain calm under pressure.
Generally speaking that unerring calm comes hand in hand with a truly terrible sense of humor, and given her current unshod state combined with the disheveled nature of what had in fact been an incredibly expensive dress it was no wonder that her husband’s appearance was met with the sound of the metal baton extending.
April rolled her eyes, tension easing from her spine because if Clint was here that meant things were going to improve rapidly.
“Electroshock arrow?” She drawled, green eyes practically aglow in the dim half light of the alley, “Anne Rice weirdo over took one of'em t'the face.” She sniffed and managed to straighten. The asphalt dug into her feet and she was sure she’d cut her left arch open on some broken glass. Her foot throbbed, sharp lances emanating from the bottom of said appendage. She daren’t glance down however lest her distraction allow bozo’s two and three an opportunity to gain any ground on her.
She flexed her grip on the baton, “Metahuman–” she corrected the Avenger, “Whose clearly read too much Vampire th'Masquerade,” drawled with the sort of irritation she usually reserved for the exceptionally stupid SHIELD Agents. Or Chavez from filing who was always screwing up April’s careful categorization in the office.
“You wanna just…knock th'rest of'em out so we can take th'babies for ice cream?” If she did not allow herself to feel afraid of what could be a potentially terrible situation, then it meant that Tommy would not be afraid. The last thing she wanted to deal with once this little kerfuffle was resolved, was Tommy suddenly fearing every single person they encountered on the street.
Of course, Tommy was a Barton. Which meant he’d probably take the experience and decide he wanted to grow up to be just like Clint.
Behind her, pseudo-vampire number two (in possession of some epically badly bleached hair), flung himself at April with a snarl, his hands clenched into fists that April only just managed to knock aside with the baton, bringing her knee up into his gut with violence born of the incredibly small, and angry as she sidestepped around him. Mostly gracefully.
“Sometime in th’near future’d be nice darlin’.”
April was giving him a truly exasperated look, and even amongst all the terror and danger of the situation, Clint couldn’t help but smile. If she was taking the time to whip up a snarky comment or two about his timing or his weapons choices, then things couldn’t really be all that bad, could they? “Yeah well, I’m not sure how much a real arrow is gonna do. These aren’t exactly wooden stakes.” he quipped. “Besides, I don’t think it would teach a very good lesson if I just straight up murdered this dude in front of our kids.”
Two more goons popped out of nowhere, and April took on one of them like a champ. If they weren’t already married and didn’t have two totally awesome kids together, he’d probably ask her out on a date just for that. Clint loosed his arrow into the face of the one standing in front of him. The vampire/metahuman thing shrieked and fell to the ground again, twitching as electricity coursed over him. A second later, Clint dropped a knee to his face, and he quit moving. The third guy was running for him; Clint shot a putty arrow at his feet, stopping the goon in his tracks. Clint ran over to him as the man struggled to release his feet from the goo, and smacked him hard across the cheek with the edge of his bow. The man howled and grunted as Clint struck him again, once in the stomach, once in the nose, and one more time to the back of the neck before he crumpled on the ground.
April had taken care of her foe with flying colors, though Clint gave him a final kick in the face just for good measure.
He slung the bow across his back, and hurried over to the kids. Faith had her face buried in Tommy’s side. It was good that Faith hadn’t seen, bad that Tommy had. The kid was either going to get nightmares, or get inspired by the serious ass-kicking he’d just seen his dad do, and Clint didn’t really know which one was worse. “Hey baby bird,” he said soothingly as he scooped Faith up into his arms and kissed her gently on the cheek. “No more crying, okay? You’re all right, Daddy’s gonna take us all away from the bad guys. She hiccuped, and hugged her little arms around his neck. Clint, in turn, hugged Tommy with his free arm. “My little man, you’re so brave! Thank you for taking care of your sister.”
“Are they gonna wake up, Daddy?”
“I dunno, but we should get goin’, come on Bud.” He took Tommy’s hand and straightened up, turning to April. He allowed himself to look concerned for the first time. “Are you okay? Do you need to go to the hospital?”