We have art in order not to die of the truth.

Fae Barlow. 25. I art. It is good to feel lost... because it proves you have a navigational sense of where "Home" is. You know that a place that feels like being found exists. And maybe your current location isn't that place but, Hallelujah, that unsettled, uneasy feeling of lost-ness just brought you closer to it. ~Erika Harris

[miss-danihoward]

Who needs prudes? I won’t exactly say the same about parents, but they don’t have to be a part of gallery openings.

[art-is-faetal]

I guess they just don't get art. 

[miss-danihoward]

Who doesn’t love seeing half naked people?

[art-is-faetal]

Parents. Prudes.

[slowartday-blog]

Yangyang Pan

[art-is-faetal]

I don't know why every one's complaining. Sunday gallery opening's are all the rage. It's trendy, super trendy. Plus, you get to see half naked people painted by yours truly. Suck it up and enjoy the view.

[bonniepatterson]

Sure it’s not its inside out?

[art-is-faetal]

Wow, I'm about to turn you inside out.

[bonniepatterson]

Is that supposed to be a pet?

[art-is-faetal]

Is there something wrong with my cat?

[katvondworld]

[art-is-faetal]

fabarlow: I sell things. I sell lots of things.

[art-is-faetal]

Well, I went from Chicago to Columbia. I can’t say it’s a downgrade, but I mean, I’m back in New York which says it all, doesn’t it Monty?

[art-is-faetal]

Well, I went from Chicago to Columbia. I can't say it's a downgrade, but I mean, I'm back in New York which says it all, doesn't it Monty?

[reed-emerson-blog]

I don’t know what to say. I just want you to be happy, Fae. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.

[art-is-faetal]

You don't have to lie Reed. I'm not dating you anymore. I'm not even sure if we're actually friends or not. But you don't need to say things like that. I don't deserve to be happy. I know I don't.

[reed-emerson-blog]

I am…a little bit. I don’t want you to beat yourself about it. I don’t think it’s true that you didn’t deserve her, but I think you guys just cared about each other in different ways at different times. I think it was just a matter of timing. 

You won’t be able to change your attitude if you keep thinking that. It’ll become a self-fulfilling prophecy. 

[art-is-faetal]

It doesn't matter what you want, I'm going to beat myself up about it anyway. You can't just lose someone you love and not. It doesn't work that way. We loved each other at the same time, there was just an obstruction at the time. 

Maybe that's just who I am. A self-fulfilled prophecy.

[reed-emerson-blog]

I…uh. Well. She….yeah. She asked me to be her girlfriend…and I did say yes. I’m sorry.

Why?

[art-is-faetal]

You're not sorry Reed. And you shouldn't have to be. I fucked up...big time. I don't deserve her. I never did. And well, obviously, you do.

That's the reason why I can't be optimistic. Any time something good comes into my life, I ruin it. This probably won't be any different.

[reed-emerson-blog]

Right. Yeah, I uh, I think I can understand that. 

Hey, have an optimistic attitude.

[art-is-faetal]

Let's be real. I did you a favor by fucking this up because you're going to be with Viola. You'll both have someone who can love the other undeniably well and in the healthiest way you both deserve. Am I right? Of course I am.

It's hard. It's really hard for me to be optimistic lately. 

[reed-emerson-blog]

So what you’re telling me is that by being in a relationship with me, you realized you didn’t love me but you loved your ex…And while we were together, you forced yourself to love me. Right okay. This is a really weird way to thank someone. 

I, uh, I’m really glad you got this job. It sounds like an amazing opportunity. And I meant it when I said that I was proud of you and happy for you. I hope that lots of wonderful things continue to happen to you. I’m sure they will. 

[art-is-faetal]

No, it’s not like that Reed. I didn’t have to force myself. I did have feelings for you. In fact, I still do but it wasn’t the romantic love you deserved, it was friendship love…if that makes sense. I care about you more than you could know. I don’t know how to explain that any better.

Eh, we’ll see.

[reed-emerson-blog]

Really?

[art-is-faetal]

Really. I know this will probably come out in a really awful way because we all know I don't have a way with words, and I have no intentions of it being like that because you're a great person and I really do care about you. But, you helped me realize how much I love Viola. It's really weird to explain it, you know? When I was with you, I really did want to believe that I loved you and if I didn't screw everything up, I think I could have grown to love you the way you deserve to be loved, but that wouldn't be fair to you. You deserve someone who loves you naturally. But by being with you and pushing myself to love you, I realized what real love is, for me at least and I realized that real love for me is Viola...even if she doesn't love me back. And we both know that not being loved back hurts, a lot. So, instead of being super destructive like I was before, I channeled my hurt into my work and created Non Mutuus Amor which is the portfolio that I handed in for review. It showed the rawness of unrequited love and how it plays along with art. Apparently they liked it and now I have a job to throw myself into until I die. It's a good thing really. Less time to think about the world and a real reason to not have a love life. 

[reed-emerson-blog]

I did? Well, I’m glad I could be of help.

[art-is-faetal]

Actually, I don't think I could have gotten this job without you girl. 

[art-is-faetal]

I know I don’t have to, but I want to. You deserve all the thanks I could give Reed, honestly.

[reed-emerson-blog]

I didn’t really do anything, Fae.

[art-is-faetal]

No, you made me realize like a shit ton of things Reed. Seriously.