Artemis is the Nut

Artemis Fowl memes, headcanons, shitposts, incorrect quotes, and general fandom rants. Send me an ask, I’d love to hear from you!                                                                                                 

[bittersuite-iv]

in the fowl twins, holly is shown to be distrustful of myles and beckett, despite them being the little brothers of her best friend. the obvious reasons for this is that eoin colfer needed her to not be a deus ex machina for the twins in every situation. BUT also funny as hell that holly does NOT gaf about the twins. like instead of thinking to herself “hey since artemis fowl is my best friend and i trust him more than anything, i’ll help the twins out” she doubles down with “every fowl is a cunt by default and they will have to go through 4 years of psyche-changing trauma to convince me otherwise. My Best Friend Artemis is an outlier and does not count❤️”

[artemisfowlblog]

do you think they’re going to make Artemis tap dance in this musical

[zenchii]

[july-19th-club]

we don’t talk about it as much but the fact is: the reason butler & artemis get along so well is partly because butler is exactly as balls-to-the-walls ridiculous as him, it’s just a lot harder to notice. oh, he’s a quiet, centered man, that’s for sure, he’s got the largest helping of common sense in the whole cast. absolutely. but he’s also got a keen sense of dramatic tension and a yen to exploit it, and if he sees a suit of plate armor he’s gonna put it on, like. he gets kicked off artemis’s school grounds because he got sick of sitting around at home and pitched a tent on campus without asking. because he already got turned down about sleeping in the dorms. that’s. a wild response to ‘your charge is at boarding school.’ like he could’ve taken a couple months off; he’s always internally monologuing about the difficulties of working for the world’s youngest bond villain. but if he did that he’d be bored, because as a matter of fact he loves his job. don’t get attached, they said at the academy, and he said yes sensei you got it and immediately went out and happily did the exact opposite of that. he disguises this side of himself fairly well, but hooooo boy. i mean he gets shot and his response is to mere days later fly across the country to talk to the guy who shot him in a spooky voice and convince the man he’s a ghost coming back to exact vengeance. you know. that old chestnut. people are always telling juliet “why can’t you be more like your brother he’s so disciplined he’s so professional” but what those people don’t know is that everyone in this family has a terminal addiction to melodrama, butler’s just the best one at hiding it

[artemisfowlblog]

Movie Artemis Fowl raps and does breakdance professionally.

… i cant

[artemisfowlblog]

Movie Artemis has posters of the most popular pop musicians hanging all over the walls of his room.

...

[artemisfowlblog]

Movie Artemis likes lollipops

...

[artemisfowlblog]

Movie Artemis still goes trick or treating unironically

i love this meme guys send me more about movie artemis

[artemisfowlblog]

Movie Artemis would order off the children's menu

lmaoooo

[artemisfowlblog]

Artemis, talking to one of his therapists: So, what's wrong with me today?

Therapist, looking Artemis in the eyes: Nothing. Nothing's wrong with you. You're just an asshole.

[qu33rr1t4bl3]

disney really tried to make artemis fowl palatable for worried over protective parents huh…………… saving the world? the power of friendship?? coming of age?? a “collector”???? hello???? artemis fowl is a goddamn criminal, a kidnapper, a thief, an immoral jerk. what t fuck….. he finds out magical creatures exists and immediately organizes a kidnapping operation and asks for a rescue. his character redemption arc doesnt even start until you’re like 3 or 4 books in. A grown ass woman punches his 12 y/o ass and you CHEER. thats how much of an asshole he is. im suing disney

[beanwaterontherocks]

I made a thing

@artemisfowlblog

[iesnoth]

OK, so this stems from an Artemis Fowl future headcanon that I’ve been thinking about for a while and had to get something drawn about it.

It’s 30-ish years in the future. The world is still largely ignorant of the People’s existence, but there are some shadowy organizations from around the world hot on the trail, as well as more and more fairy criminals willing to sell out their people for some gold.

Holly, after being in the LEP over 50 years, sees the cracks in its defenses. She realizes the best way to keep the People’s secret is to go on the offensive, on the surface.

Artemis, of course, realized this a while ago. Unbeknownst to anyone, he’s become more and more like his pre-clone self, taking on underhanded deals and making allies in the criminal underworld. He does all this, however, to find the ties between human criminal and fairy and sever them, as well as derailing some government agencies in his spare time.

However, since Butler died a few years before, Artemis has slowed down. Without his wall of muscle, he has to be more careful and to be honest, he didn’t realize just how much Butler did for the Fowl family. When Holly finds out all Artemis has been doing, far from dissuading him she takes a sabbatical from the LEP and elopes to the surface.

A few months later, Artemis Fowl II the feared criminal mastermind has a tiny young femme fatale at his side. No one questions her small stature because no one questions Artemis Fowl and honestly, in their line of work, they’ve seen weirder. The two become the most formidable team the criminal underworld has ever seen. They “disappear” more people than anyone cares to count, and if they set their sights on you, your organization crumbles. Artemis and Holly, for their part, and just happy to be working together again.

[nopizzaaftermidnight]

[artemisfowlblog]

am i going to watch it? yes. but i’ll be upset for 100% of it.

[animality--opera]

I made this for Artemis Fowl but feel free to tag it with whatever you’re feeling honestly

[teenagecriminalmastermind]

*side eyes Artemis Fowl and Percy Jackson so fucking hard*

[thestalkerbunny]

It’s been a hot…..12 years since I read the first Artemis Fowl Book but I vividly remember that Butler was like ‘My profession says not to get attached, but I’m very attached to this small angry child and his dad is dead and or missing and his moms brain has seriously checked out for the long haul-He’s basically like a son or brother I never had’ and Artemis is like ‘My dad is dead and or missing-probably both. But Butler is sort of like a dad. He is filling whatever dad figure void I have in my weird dark black little soul’

And then they probably both take this information to the grave rather than openly admit that based on the circumstances of their lives-they have both become the dad/son figures for each other that they never desired to have and yet here we are.

[artemisfowlblog]

Honestly? It’s good generic kids movie but it’s just not Artemis Fowl.

YES.

they tried to make it family friendly, and the books are just... not. there’s a lot of gray morality in them, because let’s face it, a lot of things in life are morally gray. artemis fowl was about a different kind of escapism than disney is. in disney, everyone is either good or bad. they fight, the good wins.

artemis fowl acknowledges that humans are complicated and do both good and terrible things. it’s not about what you’ve done; it’s what you choose to do next. artemis fowl is escapism to a world where you know the characters will win, not because they’re perfect, moral heroes, but because they’re smart, gritty people trying their best.

and it makes me sad that kids who see the movie are going to miss out on that.