I go by Zee and I use she/her pronouns. This post is just an overview of my blog to give you guys an idea of what’s going on!
My main is @divinevenom. Putting it in because I might be replying or reblogging from that one sometimes (also cause I'd love to interact with y'all more on there <3 )
All the fandoms I write for are listed here, as well as some things to keep in mind when requesting.
quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service
quality time: loves to have you with him all the time, and really enjoys your company; while he’s doing homework, researching the paranormal, or watching movies, and can just sit in comfortable silence with you. asks you to watch jane with him just so you can spend time together even if sarah is perfectly able.
you turn the knob all the way, slowly shutting the door after putting jane to bed. you slowly step down the stairs into the living room, taking time with each step to not disturb her. ethan's head pops up as he notices your presence from the stairs, “she’s asleep?” jane was always more cooperative and willing to go to sleep on time with you, ethan had waited for you on the couch. you nod with a small “mhm” as you take a seat next to him, resting your head on his shoulder as his arm wraps around you, “cmon let’s go to bed”
words of affirmation: receiving words of affirmation makes him nervous and blushy but he lovesss giving it. tells you he loves you every night, morning, when he leaves your house, when you leave his house when you go to class, when he sees you, all. the. time. he just wants to make sure you know and there’s never a 100% chance he’ll see you again he’s paranoid. he’s also a great listener, remembers everything you say, and keeps it in his mind.
you and ethan always called before bed, catching up throughout the day, especially when you didn’t hang out after school. “you need to go to bed, baby. you’ve been staying up too much.” you hear a small sigh come from him because he knows you’re right. he’s been stressing over his grades and the new supernaturals that have been showing up in whitechapel. “okay okay, i know.” clicks of his mouse come through the speaker along with ruffling paper as he puts his books away. the creaking of his bed and shuffling are heard through your cellphone. “okay i’m gonna go to bed, goodnight, i love you” you can hear the tiredness in his voice as his eyes flutter shut, “goodnight baby, i love you”
acts of service: best boyfriend + tutor combo!! helps you with homework, and gives you notes when you’re not at school, if you have a car he insists he can just wash your car with benny and rory ofc so you don’t have to spend money for a car wash. helps you with chores at home, insists on doing everything you don’t like doing just to make your life easier sweet boy
you sit in your front yard near your driveway in your lounge chair, sunglasses on with your lemonade as you sunbathe, giggling as you watch your boyfriend and his friends wash your car. ethan turns to you, brushing his hair out of his face, “having fun?” he looks at your relaxed position as you smile and nod at him, “thank you, you really didn’t have to” he playfully rolls his eyes as he insists he just wants to help. you look over at jane as she pulls up another lounge chair, copying your pose with sunglasses perched on her nose, sipping her lemonade through her straw, “get to work boys!” the friend group turns to her, shocked. benny stops spraying rory with the hose and rory stops flicking soap at benny, all yelling in defense, “hey!”
OPEN LETTER TO FANFICTION WRITERS ON ACCESSIBILITY; PLEASE READ.
first of all, thank you for spending your time, seldom acknowledged and definitely deserving of a compensation you are not receiving, to entertain us. i’m speaking on behalf of more than just blind readers, but everyone. you’re sick as hell.
i’ve summoned you to provide some information you may not already know. i know a lot of you like fonts. especially those who cross post their work on wattpad. i admire any and all acts of aestheticism to a degree, and can understand the desire to use them. (blind folk, sorry y’all. momma’s making a point.) 𝔰𝔱𝔲𝔣𝔣 𝔩𝔦𝔨𝔢 𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔰, it’s cute. 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐟𝐟 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 is a little cuter to me, if i had to choose. or maybe 𝓈𝑜𝓂𝑒𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈?
now, sighted folk: if you’re on mobile, i implore you to participate in a little exercise for me. select this text and scroll through all the copy/paste/define/‘search the web’ options until you get to the speak portion. if you need to change a setting for your phone to do so, would you mind? i’d really appreciate it.
please make your phone read aloud part of my post, and be sure to include any bits with those super cute fonts. 𝕚’𝕝𝕝 𝕥𝕒𝕔𝕜 𝕠𝕟𝕖 𝕠𝕟 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕖𝕟𝕕 𝕠𝕗 𝕞𝕪 𝕡𝕝𝕖𝕒, 𝕣𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕖. 𝕚 𝕙𝕠𝕡𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕚𝕤 𝕥𝕣𝕒𝕟𝕤𝕝𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕔𝕠𝕣𝕣𝕖𝕔𝕥𝕝𝕪, 𝕚 𝕕𝕠𝕟’𝕥 𝕨𝕒𝕟𝕥 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕝𝕖𝕤𝕤𝕠𝕟 𝕥𝕠 𝕓𝕖 𝕤𝕢𝕦𝕒𝕟𝕕𝕖𝕣𝕖𝕕 𝕓𝕪 𝕥𝕪𝕡𝕠𝕤 𝕚 𝕔𝕒𝕟’𝕥 𝕤𝕖𝕖.
whether you participated and discovered it for yourself or you thought this was a crock of shit you’d rather not sniff, i’ll tell you! screen readers cannot dictate words using those fonts. at least, on a majority of devices. not mine, or any of my mutuals elsewhere.
you do not have to change your behavior on my behalf, but please be aware that fonts limit access to your work.
blind readers do exist, i exist, and i am bound by the same feelings of dogged longing that make other sad horny bitches read angsty, smutty, father-wounded nonsense.
thanks for making it this far. i really hope my sincerity is being conveyed, reading makes me so happy and i’m not the only person on this app who relies on accessibility settings more often than not. do with this information what you will, and have the day you deserve!
cw: poly!satosugu x gn!reader, implied sorcerer!reader, just fluff, the kids and satoru don’t want reader to leave, megumi calls reader mom once, absolutely no proofreading
a/n: i wrote this at midnight so it might be shit but oh well
“Don’t go pleaaaaaseeeee” the children clinging on your leg begged. Well, 3 children and one of the 6 foot tall menaces you called your boyfriend. Gojo Satoru was no less than a child at moments you were leaving the house.
Suguru stood next to Megumi, both of them staring at the scene in front of them with equal parts disgust and amusement.
Gently bending down to unlatch Nanako, Mimiko and Tsumiki from your legs, you kissed their foreheads. “I promise ill be back before you guys know it. Its just a small little mission.”
Tsumiki nodded sadly, heading over to Suguru and slumping into him. He smiled at her and gave her a kiss on her head.
Nanako peered at you through her blonde bangs, glancing unsurely at Satoru, before turning to you to ask, “You’ll be back in time for our girls day out, right?”
“Oh honey, of course I will!!”
Nanako and Mimiko shared a look before they dashed off yelling something about choosing cute outfits. You looked at them with a fond smile, before turning to the menace still firmly holding onto your leg.
“Satoru. Stop being a drama queen,” you chided.
He shook his head petulantly, looking so adorable with his hair still rumpled, you had to fight the urge to call Yaga and tell him you weren’t going on the mission. “Not being a drama queen,” he insisted, “jus’ wanna cuddle wi’ you.”
Heaving a sigh, Suguru decided to step in. “Alright, Satoru love, come on lets get you back to bed hmm?” He gently pried him off his leg, scooping his boyfriend into his arms bridal style. Satoru melted against him, already falling asleep. “Mhmm,” he mumbled into Suguru’s shoulder.
You smiled softly at both your loves. Pressing a kiss to Satoru’s cheek, you kissed Suguru and grabbed your bag. “Alright Sugu, I’ll be back soon. See ya soon Megs.” You waved goodbye to Megumi, not expecting much of a response from the boy.
“Bye mom,” he said sleepily, heading back towards his room.
“Later, sweetheart,” Suguru said with a yawn.
“Go to sleep,” you chuckled, “I’ll be back before you guys are awake.”
Fandom: My babysitter's a vampire; Ethan Morgan x reader
Request: "basically, reader acts like she hates ethan because she thinks he has a big crush on Sarah, but eth hears her talking about him to Erica or smth??? I just think it would be sooo cute tysm"
Genre: fluff
Warnings: cussing
A/n: anyone wanna come up with titles for me? I'm done.
~~~
“Is she still staring at me?”
“Yep”
Ethan went to adjust the hood of his hoodie again.
“Can you be any more obvious than that?” Benny remarks and Ethan’s hands go down slowly
“What’s her deal anyways? What did I even do wrong?”
“Why are you asking me? How would I know?”
“Hey guys!” a certain blonde boy appears , with a tray of food in hand
“Rory, sit down and eat your food!”
“Well someone’s in a bad mood today, damn Benny.”
Ethan is still staring down at his lunch. The mere thought of putting something in his mouth feels overwhelming. Anxiety runs through his body and he can’t stop his leg from shaking under the table. He’s trying not to make it obvious that he can feel your gaze on the back of his head from the other side of the room but that’s very difficult.
“What’s wrong with you E? What's wrong with everyone today?” Rory, the ever-so-oblivious, picked up on him acting weird. That’s definitely a bad sign.
“Y/n has been tearing him limb for limb with her eyes for the last 5 days and he has no idea why.” Benny answers
“Why?”
“...didn’t I just say…” and the normal banter starts again
Ethan does the same thing he’s been doing every night for the last 3 days: think. Think back to the day you stopped talking. Where was he? Well at school, it was monday. What did he do? Nothing unusual. Just classes and then lunch with the guys. He’s gone through his routine a dozen times by now, there was nothing to point out new and the more time passed, the more blurry his memories got.
The most frustrating part was how sudden it had all been. You two were so close, in fact you were the closest you had ever been. Ethan met you around 3 years ago now, when you joined their little friend group but in the past month, it was like you and him were growing so much closer within your own relationship. There was a lot more time spent between just the two of you, a lot more messages exchanged. Late night video game competitions and sometimes study sessions, although those would more than definitely turn into a regular hangout session with no work done. Ethan was enjoying how much more time you would spend at his house everyday and how happy you seemed to always be. He felt so comfortable with you. There was a sense of never having to worry about being anything other than himself, because he knew, without a doubt, that you liked him just as he was. He didn’t need to show off, and that was nice!
And then suddenly you’re not wishing him good morning when you walk past his locker. You take a seat at a different table in your shared classes. When Ethan approached you to see what’s up, you quickly made some lame excuse and got out of there, every time! You stopped replying to messages, let alone come over like you used to. At first he thought you were going through something and needed your space, so he tried to respect that. But the more time passed, the less ignored he felt and much more resented. The nasty glares, purposeful ignorance of him. You didn’t even make the effort to reply to him when he approached you at school anymore, instead walking right on ahead without eye contact. Now you were sitting at a different table for lunch, staring arrows at the back of his head. It was really aggravating how what he considered to be a nice, open and honest friendship was now turning into what felt like a rivalry. He didn’t like accepting it but your behavior was growing aggravating. It was getting on his nerves and even he could tolerate it any longer. He couldn’t stand the thought he did something wrong. He was perfectly innocent! None of the people he asked could think of something he did wrong. HE couldn’t think of something he did wrong. You were so absurd for this! You were so absurd in your behavior for no reason at all!!
The days passed on like that. One week turned into 2 and you still weren’t talking. In fact Ethan had resolved to send you his own nasty glances. When he catches you staring at him again, with the same aggravated frown, he simply raises his eyebrows in a challenge instead of pretending not to notice. It sure didn’t help mend things but he was exhausted of you. If you were looking for attention you’d have to find it elsewhere!
And things kept getting worse! Ethan was still upset and could not get over you. Could not go back to being his old, cheery self knowing you were mad at him. He tried to push his questioning thoughts away but sometimes they were just too much. One positive thing came out of that though: he created a mechanism. When he felt his head too heavy with thoughts, he would go out for a walk. It’s not anything he generally did, but it helped now and it was probably good for him to get some fresh air so it’s ok. That’s how he found himself hearing your laugh. At first he thought he was imagining but no, it was definitely you. Even tho he wasn’t sure where the noise was coming from, it was definitely you!
He tried following the sound, which led him down the street to a convenience store. He didn’t have to pass the corner of the building to know you would be there. He could now clearly hear you and Erica talking.
“It’s not my fault!” your annoyed voice was somehow comforting after so long of no contact
“Listen, I’m never gonna be the one to blame you. If anything, boys are always at fault!”
that got a laugh out of you. So sweet and innocent, it made Ethan feel weak. He knew he shouldn’t be listening into your private conversations but God, it was too interesting to back out now.
“Whatever. I mean he can like who he likes, it’s not my problem to deal with but also, I don’t wanna just sit on the sidelines and watch that happening. Gross!”
“Do you think she would say yes to him?”
“Erica I seriously don’t wanna think about it”
“I mean Sarah is way out of his league in the first place. And definitely uninterested. I mean could you actually imagine them together?”
“Ethan and Sarah? Yeah, I’ve done my fair share of imagining, thanks!”
This made E’s heart drop to his stomach. Him and Sarah? What the hell was this about? There was nothing going on between them. Yes, she was a pretty girl and he used to have a crush on her but that was a long while ago now. He’s swiftly moved on since she made it very clear that she was uninterested. Plus, the closer they got, the more he grew to understand that they would really not work, so it was all fine. So why were they the subject of conversation?
“Of all the girls in the world, you were the closest to him. Honestly, if he was gonna fall for someone, it should have been you!” and you scoff at this
“Well it wasn’t. I heard them talk. He’s into Sarah and all the guys are supportive of that. They are good friends and I wish them all the best but he made his decision and it was not me so I’m moving on in the only way I know how. Creating distance.”
“Whatever you say girlie!” Erica’s voice seemed uninterested
Ethan left after that. He had heard too much.
```
He couldn’t find the courage to approach you about what he’d heard immediately after. A part of him was worried you would get mad for listening in on your conversations, the other part of him kept questioning what he’d heard and if it was really true. Did you want him to choose you? Because he will. He already has damn it, just didn’t have the courage to express it. Is that why you were so cold all of a sudden? Would this count as jealousy? He blushed anytime he thought about it. You were jealous because you wanted to be with him! How much luckier can a guy get?
At first he wanted to talk to Benny about it, get some advice but on second thought, decided not to. For a small second he considered asking his mom but quickly changed his mind. He had never really had ‘girl problems’ if you can even call it that, he wasn’t sure who to go to for advice.
It took about a week for him to build up the courage to talk to you. He had pondered the idea back and forth basically every waking moment and was never sure what to do really. When he saw you waiting at the bus station one day after school, all alone and scrolling on his phone, he pushed back every thought and insecurity he felt and approached you, almost mechanically.
“Hey!” his voice cracked a little, giving away the nerves swirling in his head. You barely spared him a second of your time to look at him before going back to scrolling
“How have you been?” he tried, admittedly lacking the old confidence he had around you
“Just peachy. You need something or what?”
“Just making conversation.”
“yeah…don’t really feel like it. Long day, y’know?” but when you caught his eye, the boredom was so clear in your eyes. It hurt him more to see you didn’t even care about hiding your distaste for him anymore
“Yep, got it.” Ethan laughed in response. All his courage, gone! Within seconds!! That irritated him so much. He had prepared for this. Went through every possible scenario, even tried acting out some speeches in his room in preparation and you still had him at your feet with a glance. He felt pathetic and for the first time ever, genuinely enraged by this whole situation. You used to be best fucking friends and look at you now! All within a matter of weeks and from a misunderstanding at that too!!! He knew how to fix this, he just had to say it so why couldn’t he?
“I don’t even like Sarah like that…'' he snarled, under his breath and frankly it was a miracle that you heard him over the white noise of the busy town.
“Like shit you don’t.”
That’s what you had to say? Of all fucking things that was your first reaction?!
“How would you even know how I feel?”
“Clear as day on your face and actions! I don’t need to be a mind reader to crack into that big head of yours!”
“You have no idea what you are even talking about! I act with her the same way I act with all my friends!” Ethan’s voice failed to hide the anger surging through his body. Now, as he faced you completely, head tall and fists clenched in frustration, you seemed just as uninterested. Your gaze didn’t shift from the cracked screen of your phone, shoulders hunched, totally disengaged. It just fueled E more.
“ You don’t even have a problem with Sarah!” he started again, throwing all logic to the wind and speaking whatever came to him “ You just hate that she’s a girl! You would have made this shit up regardless of who it was I got close to!”
Finally, your attention was on him!
“What the fuck makes you think I care enough for that?” you stood up, looking him in the eye
“You mean to tell me we’ve been friends for years with no problems but the second a new girl enters my life and I start spending time with her, you act all crazy and throw a fit? What am I supposed to make of that?”
“This has nothing to do with Sarah to begin with! See? There you go making false assumptions again and acting all smart about them, like you actually did something!”
“I’m not the one making unbased theories and running with them! You never even asked me about my feelings for Sarah! You just draw a conclusion yourself and then go complain about me to Erica, don’t you?”
Anyone would have been able to see the dots connecting in your head at that time. You didn’t spend that much time with Erica anyways.
“You were there?”
“I was behind the corner of the store”
“You were hiding?! What the hell?”
“I wasn’t doing anything! I was out on a walk, I happened to hear your voice!” but his explanation gains him nothing but an irritated scoff. You go back to your phone, seemingly ready to ignore him again, but that just won’t be enough
“So now that all the cards are on the table, can we address the elephant in the room?”
“As I said, you like Sarah. It’s very clear. And that’s fine and you can do whatever you want!” your voice didn’t carry the same rage as before, much more mellow and distant.
Detached.
“I liked Sarah! A long time ago. I don’t now!”
“Okay” said with absolute indifference. Ethan, couldn’t help a roll of the eyes
“You’re unbelievable!”
“What do you honestly want me to do right now?!”
“Just say that you like me, if you do!”
“I fucking like you Ethan! God damn, I’d think you’d be smart enough to piece it together yourself but clearly you’re just-”
The grasp Ethan had on the back of your head felt strangely powerful and as he pulled you into him, locking your lips together, you genuinely felt yourself considering if this was the same man you knew! Truth be told, Ethan thought about this moment forever! About kissing you, about confessing to you! When he heard your conversation with Erica however, perspectives changed. Now all his thoughts were clouded by you confessing to him, admitting that what his speculations were, in fact, true. He thought about what he would say, how he would react to receiving that confirmation. He practiced the soft smile he’d give you in return, the quiet but tender confession of his own feelings. One thing he never expected himself to do is to aggressively pull you by the back of your neck and kiss you powerfully. He never thought himself the kind to have enough confidence to just go in for such a shameless kiss, but in that moment he wanted nothing more than to just shut you up!
It took a little bit to register, to wrap your head around the sharp pull of your hair and the sloppy moves of his lips on yours. Every conceivable thought in your head told you to pull away, slap him, tell him to leave you alone but your body had a mind of its own and you found yourself tugging him closer by the collar. Your lips moved on his with just as much intensity and fervor as his! The build up of emotion, frustration, anger, all of it boiled down to this moment. Ethan’s hand sneaked around your waist, pulling you impossibly closer and finally, as if satisfied with this outcome, his grip on you loosened. His kisses turned progressively softer. The hand in your hair moved to cup your cheek and almost instinctively, you followed his lead, letting go of the tight grip you had on his shirt, resting your hand of his chest instead.
It felt like a real kiss. Like all the kisses you dreamed about every time you thought of him. You knew your cheeks were burning up and that now, after your anger had subsided, the reality of your situation, the confession, Ethan’s fingers pressing into the plush of your waist, all of it made you shy. When he finally pulled away, bruised lips and breathing heavily, you couldn’t look at him. All this time, you used your anger to cover for just how weak in the knees this man had you but now, somehow, even that had been stripped away.
“I…um..sorry about that! I...should have asked” Ethan was blushing just as much. He was starting to second guess his actions. He took 2 steps back, giving you room again, the feeling of your ragged breaths so close to his lips made his head spin
“It’s ok” you whispered. This was an unusual situation. In one move, all your cards had been turned upside down and now there was no point in even trying to deny the truth.
“So are we good?” Despite trying to sound confident, you could hear the edge of nervousness in Ethan’s voice. It’s the kind of knowledge that comes with many years spent together, and the thought makes you smile.
“Yeah. We’re good.”
“Can we possibly be more than good?” Ethan’s chuckles, as if he already knows the answer, if the blush on your cheeks is anything to go by anyways. You giggle in return and nod.
Fandom: My babysitter's a vampire; Ethan Morgan x reader (platonic)
Summary: "Reader likes Benny the same way that Ethan likes Sarah, so naturally a bond forms between the two, where they vent their frustrations together! But everything changes when one day the reader and Ethan realize that Benny and Sarah both have kissing experience and they don't so they decide to practice with each other first" requesed by @tomesandrosebud
Genre: pure fluff
Warnings: none
A/N: really happy with this one actually. I just hope it doesn't sound too foolish cause I haven't kissed anyone either so I don't really know how to write about it in detail like that
~~~
Getting another can of coke was definitely not your smartest idea. The electric buzz of a sugar rush was now impossible to ignore, but Ethan had been so kind to lay all these snacks out for you which you really appreciated!
“It’s just sorta frustrating, you know?” popping another m&m in your mouth “I mean honestly, it’s like none of the stuff I do for him even matters!”
“Benny has never been the most…observant person” comes Ethan’s reply. He’s sprawled out across his bed, playing with old chocolate wrappers. “He thinks he can read people, but really he just comes up with his own idea of what’s happening and believes it fully!”
You scoff almost instinctively. Yeah, you’ve heard this before! Almost anytime this conversation was to be had, this was one of the conclusions! God you were so tired of hearing it, but you knew it was true!
“Honestly Ethan! I could not be more obvious if I wrote him a love poem and serenaded him before school! It’s not like I’m good at hiding my feelings!”
“Yeah, you really suck….Ow, damnit Y/N! No need for violence!”
“You earned that slap! Honestly I was being very kind to only do so much!” you crawl in the bed, laying an arm’s length away from him. “You are just as obvious about Sarah, by the way! You hypocrite!”
Ethan did nothing but smile in response. He knew that all too well! It was something he’d grown so accustomed to, the feeling of being so exposed and yet so ignored when it came to his crush. He tried hiding it, he even tried dropping some hits as per your advice (‘If you’re gonna be obvious at least let it be intentional’) but somehow he remained just as invisible in front of Sarah. He knew you felt the same about Benny too! After so many late night phone calls and the occasional hangout in his room, he felt confident in saying you were both fools in love. All in all he appreciated this extra time he got to spend with you and the chance to vent his feelings away freely, but that doesn’t really lift the weight of unreciprocated love.
“You know she was on a date yesterday?” he hears himself before he processes what he’s saying. No need to specify who ‘she’ is anyways
“Yeah…she texted me and Erica on the groupchat. What, she told you too?”
“Rory!”
“Ah…that explains it…”
A beat passes. You’ve grown accustomed to little silences like this. Sometimes it was best to just feel it out!
“Did she say anything about him?”
“Very messy eater, but apparently a good kisser. Said there probably won’t be a second date though!”
You could practically feel the relief emanating off your friend, despite the somewhat cold tone of voice.
“How can you even kiss someone after you see them with food all over their face like that?”
“I don’t know Ethan! This isn’t really my area of expertise! I guess when you’re Sarah, it doesn’t matter! When guys want to kiss you, it doesn’t matter!” your voice cracks ever so slightly with frustration, which peaks Ethan’s interest. What’s got you so worked up suddenly?
“Maybe he wasn’t so bad afterall…”
“Maybe!”
Another silent moment
“I’m not a messy eater, am I?”
You laugh. After so many years of knowing him, sometimes it was still a mystery the way in which his wheels turned.
“I wouldn’t say so.”
Your simple answer prompted another comfortable silence. You reach for more candy, as Ethan plays with the strings of his hoodie, looking up at the ceiling.
“What are you thinking about?”
“You girls…you talk about guys, right? Like you know when one of you has a crush and…that sort of thing”
“...yeah?”
“So, hypothetically, if I were to ask you if you knew how many guys she’s kissed-”
“Nah-uh! I’ll stop you right there sir!”
“It’s a hypothetical!”
“You’re overthinking!” an accusatory finger sits merely inches from his face now but he doesn’t seem bothered, pushing it away lightly.
“It’s not that crazy of a question!”
“You’re asking me to break the girl-code? You would never tell me how many girls Benny has kissed!”
“I would!” he replies in a heartbeat. Now you’re both stuck in this unintentional staring contest, waiting to see who will crack first. It’s not like you believe a word out his mouth, but you still speak
“It’s unhealthy! We shouldn’t talk about these kinds of things. It’s none of our business. Why would you even care about it?”
“You’re saying you wouldn’t want to know Benny’s number?” he got you there. You just pop another candy in your mouth and he silently watches, deciding he needs to tell the truth “She just…probably has a lot of experience, doesn’t she?”
This, for the first time in a long while, catches you off guard. You and Ethan have gone over the topic of your crushes more than you could count but this was a first. You weren’t sure what you could say.
“So does Benny, probably.” well that wasn’t the best thing, but Ethan doesn’t seem to notice
“Well so do you probably so it’s no big deal but I’ve never kissed a girl, Y/N! Never even came close! If I ever tried something with Sarah and it got to that point, I’d be a sure disappointment!”
Now this has you turning around in bed to face him. The frustration and hurt in his voice is palpable but the roughness of his tone awakes your own feelings of dread and insecurity
“Where did you even get the idea that I have kissing experience?” and E turns to look at you, genuinely confused
“You don’t?”
“No! What? E, when have I ever told you about me kissing a guy?!”
“I don’t know! I assumed you wouldn’t want to tell me that!”
“Why?”
“I don’t know Y/n! I was wrong, ok? Gee!” the irritation turns into a bit of an awkward laugh, as he processes where the conversation actually landed, and you laugh too! That’s the best that you’ve got, but it helps! Neither of you are so tense when Ethan speaks again.
“So you’ve never kissed anyone either?” and you shake your head in solidarity “Oh…I see. Why not?”
“I guess…I just never got the opportunity?” you reply honestly “And then I got a little insecure about it and then I got the hots for Bens and that’s that! Now we’re here!”
Ethan chuckles softly at your explanation. “I understand. I’m in the same boat here!”
“We’re always on the same boat E! Really, this whole thing is sounding more and more like a joke!” you both share a laugh
The idea came to you pretty naturally. At first it made you laugh but after thinking about it a moment longer, you began to consider maybe it wasn’t so bad? Maybe this was actually what you both needed! You feel so comfortable with E, you don’t spare another moment before sharing
“What if we kissed?”
You didn’t think ahead on how to properly phrase it, or how Ethan would react, but you assumed the shell shocked look and the oblivious ‘huh?!’ he gave you were probably appropriate. Ethan sits up in bed, looking down at you as if you had gone mental. You’ve said many out of pocket things across the years but this one got the biggest reaction. It almost makes you laugh.
“I mean, to practice!”
“Come again?”
Now you sit up as well, trying to drive your point home!
“Neither of us have had our first kiss! Most people our age have! So if we try to do it with anyone else, it might be awkward! We can just kiss each other and get it over with!”
“Get it over with?” he seemed to consider, which really just made you push a little harder
“Yeah! I mean we’re friends! We trust each other! It doesn’t have to mean anything and if it turns out awful then at least we know that doesn’t change anything between us!”
Ethan seems to be deep in thought. You understand, of course, how unconventional your proposal is but it was too late now. The offer was on the table! You didn’t exactly regret it but you could feel your nerves twisting and turning in your gut. All the sugar you ingested definitely didn’t help…
“Okay!”
You thought you must have misheard him!
“I’m sorry?”
“Okay!”
“Okay?”
“...yeah…”
“O-Okay…”
Now this was really awkward! You hadn’t exactly thought he would agree so quickly but then again, Ethan was a calculated person. He must have seen and understood all the benefits, just like you did. Shyly, he turns a little more to the right, facing you completely. He’s looking at his hands for a moment, before shifting forward. You follow his lead, moving the tiniest bit closer to him. Now, with your knees touching, you were starting to be really nervous.
“Um…should I…go for it? It’s kinda the man’s job to take the lead, no?” you can tell from his voice that he’s just as nervous as you
“That’s kinda old fashioned!” you try to laugh, hoping to release the tension, which helps the smallest bit, as he chuckles “You can if you want!”
“Where do I put my hands?” he’s looking down at his palms as if he’s just stepped in a human body for the first time. You’re not really sure of the answer but you’ve watched a good amount of romance movies! Your hands grab his tenderly, bringing them to your waist. He doesn’t hesitate, or pull away, just latches on with an iron grip, but you don’t comment on it. You try to hook your arms around his neck, but the position feels awkward when you’re both sat on the bed, so you pull away and rest them on your knees. His knees. Nope, yours were better!
Ethan waits patiently for you as you figure out the logistics of all this! He looks transfixed and you knew he was internally freaking out, just like you. Finally, you move a tad bit closer, which gives Ethan the opportunity to lean in, stopping barely centimeters away from your face. You could feel his breathing on your lips.
“You’re okay with this?” you ask once again
“Yeah. Sorry.”
“It’s okay. Let’s just do a small peck at first!”
“Okay!”
It happens in a flash. It takes one second for his consent to register and then his lips are on yours for the briefest moment. It felt nice. Well it wasn’t anything scary or intimidating, just a little peck! It was nice and warm and soft. It makes you feel a lot better about what’s going on. You move away just a little bit to examine Ethan’s response and he seems to have relaxed as well. You don’t know what to say, so you just ask
“One more time?”
“Okay.” the tremor in his voice is gone and you lean in to place a quick kiss on his lips again. It’s only a second, but it helps knowing that you did it! That you committed!
“A little longer?” you ask now, and Ethan just nods, taking a quick breath.
He leans in, pressing his lips to yours. Your right hand almost instinctively reaches up, barely grazing his jaw and his fingers dig even more into your sides. Right off the bet, this is a lot worse. Neither of you really know how to move, much less how to read each other's moves, so the kiss is sloppy and messy and all kinds of wrong and ridiculous. You are basically just pushing your faces together! You open your mouth ever so slightly, thinking that might help, and Ethan tries to follow your lead but once again, there’s no coordination. Now you’re even more acutely aware of the awkward position you’re both sitting in and you can’t help but imagine what a ridiculous scene you two make! Ethan smiles against your lips, and you know he’s thinking the same thing. Now you really can’t hold back your laughter, giggling against his lips!
“Stop!” he laughs as well, grabbing the sides of your face, but it definitely doesn’t help, as you burst out with laughter! He laughs too, leaning away and trying to cover his face with his arm
“We’re so awful!”
“That’s why I said we do it now!”
Cue more laughter, your tummy honestly hurts at this point and you let yourself fall to the floor, clutching your abdomen.
“Come back here! We can’t just leave it at that!” Ethan reaches to grab the back of your shirt through tears of laughter, trying to yank you back on the bed but it doesn’t work. You won’t move! You can barely breathe! Instead he also crawls to his knees next to you.
“Come on Y/n! Let’s try one more time!” he’s still giggling as he says this, but you run your hands over your face, moving closer to him again. Compared to last time, now you know both of your nerves are completely gone. Looking at Ethan, he seems just as at ease as ever! You guys are best friends after all! And you’re having fun!
As you’re kneeling on the floor, you cup his face with your palms, his own hands returning to your waist, now with a much kinder hold. He leans into you and you do as well. The kiss, this time, is a little more promising. You’re still struggling to synchronize, but at least it feels like you’re getting somewhere. It’s kinda nice, you think? It’s nice feeling so close to someone and it’s nice sharing a breath, but then you remember this is Ethan! This is your friend from middle school and the biggest nerd you’ve ever met and God knows you never thought you’d ever kiss him. The reality of it all has you giggling again and Ethan immediately shoves you back.
“Y/nnnnn!! This was your idea!!” but he’s laughing too, red in the face from the lack of oxygen and now you’ve both reached the point where everything is simply too funny!
“What the hell are we doing?” you manage to say
“It was your idea!”
“It takes two to tango!”
“Y/n, no! Don’t say it like that!” and he’s laughing more, shoving you to the floor again, attempting to tackle you for your filthy mouth and you let him, not finding the strength to fight him off, try as you might! It takes a couple of minutes for both of you to completely calm down, which just leaves you both laying on the floor, catching your breath!
“But all in all” Ethan says “it wasn’t a very bad idea!”
Request: "I read your poly! bethan hcs and I wanted to request poly benny x rory x reader or rory x reader x erica if possible!! whichever one you feel more comfortable with :)"
Genre: Fluff
Warnings: implications of a toxic relationship in the beginning but it's not bad, I swear!
A/n: headcanons are weird to me cause I just end up writting a short story anyways. Might make another part to talk more about the relationship itself
~~~
Your relationship definitely started on a…rough patch
You and Rory got together first. It happened very naturally, as he couldn’t really hide his affections from you (not that this mattered at all to him) and you found him more and more endearing and adorable with every passing day
You and Erica got together almost 8 months later. She realised her feelings for you during a school dance and made it her mission to steal you away.
Rory was actually excited for you, funnily enough! Of course both of you acknowledged how hot Erica was and he thought it was so cool that his girlfriend was approached by someone like her (gave him a new sense of confidence too). He was the one who encouraged you to reply to Erica’s advancements, assuring you he was totally fine with it!
It took Erica a long time to agree to “sharing” you with Rory. She tried time and time again to have you change your mind, but you stood your ground firmly, explaining that you loved him with all your heart, so she could either accept the terms or move on
A lot of disagreements in the beginning over Erica’s possessiveness, but things got even worse when she started catching feelings for Rory as well
All of a sudden, she’s picking fights over everything! Rory’s name can’t even be uttered in conversation without some sort of volcanic reaction. She often feels guilty about these moments, but she finds it really hard to navigate her new found affection for somebody she used to see as such a weirdo. Now she can barely suppress a smile when he offers to pay for her coffee as well while out or pretend to be annoyed when he’s oversharing about his special interests
You figure it out for her. The realization hits you all at once one day, during another argument in which Erica tried to convince you to ditch your plans with your boyfriend and stay with her! It almost makes you laugh at how simple this whole thing could’ve been solved
You told Rory everything (with Erica’s consent of course) and he was over the moon. He was pacing around the room, giggling like a little kid, hugging you, twirling you, posing and making all sorts of funny remarks about how much of a ladies man he is before he finally picked up the phone, called Erica, and asked her on a proper date
Things calmed down a lot after that. Arguing halted at once, even though it still took all of you a little bit to get accustomed to this new dynamic.
You and Rory tried to make Erica as comfortable as possible. She’s very insecure and concerned with maintaining her image in front of the school and her feelings felt very conflicting at first, but soon, she learned to get over her fears. On your first date together as a throuple, as she looked at the two of you sharing a menu across the table from her, she knew she loved you more than she loved being popular, whatever that meant
Rory loves boasting about his two beautiful girls. Takes every occasion to rub it in Etahn and Benny’s noses, which definitely makes for an entertaining scene
Erica finds it exciting to rediscover and explore some of the more geeky subjects that she used to be passionate about before. You encourage her a lot and she eventually learns to have a fun time exchanging theories and information with Rory about whatever topic.
You always keep extra sunglasses and sun protection in your bag for them, in case one of them forgets (it’s always Rory, and Erica always teases him for it but it’s okay, cause even if he’s forgetfulness would have enraged her in the past, now she’s just grown to accept it as another trait of her lover’s, whom she loves very much)
hope this isn't a bother but did you use to have sean lew fanfics up? cause a whiiiile back I remember reading some with your username and I can't find them anymore 😅
Omg yes😅
The thing is, in the past year that I haven't been posting, I learned that I don't actually like the idea of writting fanfics about real people. It doesn't feel very respectful and looking at it from Sean's percepective, it's weird.
Although I was proud of those stories, they began making me feel very uncomfortable so I took them down maybe 2 days ago? I didn't expect anybody to notice or care since so few people actually read them? 😅
Fandom: My babysitter's a vampire
Genre: Fluff
Warnings: none
A/N: I had some ideas left over and I figured it'd be a shame for them to go to waste so I hope this makes at least one of you happy today!!
~~
Benny loves being the big spoon!!! Holding you and Ethan is as close to heaven as he thinks he can find on earth.
Ethan is a much bigger fan of more subtle acts of affection.. He’s particularly fond of interlocking pinkies! He finds it very sweet and comforting and he takes basically every chance he gets to hook his pinkie finger around your’s or Benny’s. This is a particularly common occurrence during classes. He’ll totally deny it if you try to bring it up tho
You love challenging your boys at video games. They usually win (probably because they have a lot more hours or practice than you. Like, an unhealthy amount) but it’s always fun for all of you!! Gaming nights > movie nights for sure!
Ethan is more inclined to go easy on you and let you win most of the time. He finds it endearing how happy and excited you get to be beating him (you know what he’s doing, but don’t complain). Benny on the other hand is competitive! Good luck with him because not only will he give 110% of his efforts in every game but he will also rub his win in your face!
You are the mastermind behind all ghostly fights. You’re the strategist of the group for sure and Ethan and Benny love to watch you think and come up with crazy ideas of how to get yourselves out of whatever mess you have to deal with now. They are almost entranced seeing you type away at your keyboard in concentration (they definitely share knowing looks behind your back like ‘Yep, that’s our girl!’)
Grandma counts on you a lot to keep the boys in check, although she never actually blames you if something goes wrong. She knows how sneaky they can be but appreciates that you look out for them most of the time and because of that, you two have a really trusting relationship.
Benny loves taking pictures whenever you guys are together, even if there’s not much going on! Some are candids of you or Ethan, working, cooking, cuddling, the works! And those are really sweet, always showcasing really tender and domestic moments. He’ll never tell you when he takes them, he will just spend them in the groupchat after he goes home.
Other times, the pictures are absolutely chaotic. Blurry and shaky! Taken at weird angles or too close to your faces! His gallery is full! Some of them he prints out, others he saves on his computer for later times. He used to hang most of his pictures on his walls but Grandma eventually got him a photo album and he discovered that despite feeling old fashioned, he enjoyed that much better!
Ethan sometimes has a hard time falling asleep! His mind is running and he has a very bad habit of overthinking. Especially if he’s in the middle of solving something supernatural, his mind is totally wired and it’s hard for him to relax enough to go to bed. He created a habit of calling either you or Benny when that happens. Talking to you about simple stuff, helps his nerves ease and eventually, he actually manages to fall asleep. Although not before complaining about how he’d ‘much rather have you there with him physically’ but he’s grateful nevertheless
heyy I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate you writing poly fics omg I appreciate all your writing sm
Omg heyy!!!
Tbh I haven't written much in forever because of a rough patch I've been going through. I keep telling myself I need to start writting again because I have a lot of ideas and new fandoms I want to write for but haven't yet
I really really appreciate your message and maybe it's the redbull in me talking but this really was a big boost to finish that one wip I've had for forever!! 💖
Request: “ Hey! I was just wondering if you could do some fluff hcs or a oneshot for Poly!Bethan x Reader (?). It's fine if not^^ have a good day/night! :) “ @thatonehornymf
Genre: fluff
Warnings: none
~~~
You and Benny definitely feed into each other's recklessness. It’s a problem. You’re usually very chill and collected but when it’s you and Benny, it feels like your inner child is rejoicing and you can let go of all common sense and responsibilities and just live! Sure, that sometimes lands you two in trouble (many hours spent in detention between the 2 of you) but ultimately, the fun you have together outweighs the consequences. Plus your other boyfriend is right there for you!
He waits for you in the cafeteria or library. You always walk home together, so this is usually the time you and Benny will have to explain yourselves and he will give you a long and boring lecture about being more “responsible” and whatnot. It’s ok tho, because he will always end said lecture by kissing both of you and reminding you how much he loves you.
Ethan just loves you two so so much, he doesn’t want you to think any differently just because he’s acting annoyed. All he wants is for you to not get in trouble!
Date nights are definitely rare. It’s not because you 3 don’t wanna go out, but because you already spend so much time together at Ethan’s house, dates don’t feel exactly necessary. It’s not like any of you are the “going out to a fancy restaurant in suits and dresses'' type.
Even when you do go out, it’ll more than likely be something casual, like a movie! The boys will make a point of getting you your own bag of popcorn, while they share theirs because “as a lady”, you shouldn’t have to share your snacks with anyone. You’ll take turns picking the movies and everytime you guys agree on a horror movie, it’s custom to let E sit in the middle because poor boy gets so scared and you and Benny love sharing knowing looks while holding his hand or wrapping your arms around him
Benny is the KING of gifts!! He’s more observant than many think and always knows exactly what to get his two lovers to leave them speechless. He drops them on you at the most random moments too. He needs no occasion to get you the newest game you’ve been into and new paranormal hunting equipment for Ethan
When you get tangled up in paranormal business, Ethan becomes extremely overprotective of you and Benny! He will stop at nothing to keep you safe, which sometimes leads to arguments because he would much rather prefer you two stay home and out of it but you remind him that he can’t do it by himself, he needs you!
If any of you end up getting hurt at all, even if it’s as much as a scratch, you have a plan already in place!! You’ll go back to one of your houses and clean up, before starting a massive cuddle session!! The injured one reserves the right to choose the playlist that’s going off, but the others choose the snacks.
Neither of your boys are very affectionate in public, but they like it when you are being unapologetically clingy with them. They feel loved and appreciated and it’s a real boost of confidence to know that you are not embarrassed to be dating the school’s biggest nerds, regardless of what others might say.
Summary: friends to strangers to lovers with a no-so-happy ending
Genre: some fluff, angst
Warnings: canon typical violence (maybe tuned up a notch tho), death
A/N: my google doc for this piece is 10 pages long and it’s went through at least 4 alternate endings before getting here. I got this request months ago and have been working on it since, whenever I can. I hope this is alright because it’s been a journey...
~~~
There was no ‘first memory’ with you. Not one that would come to Adrien’s mind anyways. It felt like you had simply always been in his life. The only thing he remembered was you and your mother, entering the Agreste mansion as if it was your own, almost every Sunday. His mom would welcome both of you with wide arms and offer you tea, and biscuits, which you would snuck to Adrien’s room. Your favorite have always been the ones with strawberry jam filling.
And then you’d play for hours! Building fortresses out of chairs and pillows, racing toy cars around the room, saving plush animals from the imminent danger of Adrien’s rocketship and so on. Not a single moment spent with you felt boring! Your presence was addictive, the joy, the excitement you brought with yourself every time was something Adrien couldn’t understand at the time but now, as an adult looking back, he could easily recognise it as love.
But the world has its own way of never quite letting you be happy enough. The memory of your last playdate, as well as the day his parents told him you were moving away, were very hazy and unclear. For years he refused to revisit them, the sorrow too great for his young, immature self to know how to handle. Now, there was only one sentence he could remember you saying, clear as day. One promise that gave him more hope than he could put in words. “We’ll keep in touch”.
You exchanged letters the whole time you were away!! Of course, they could never be a substitute for the time spent together but Adrien learned to appreciate them deeply. He took his time responding to each of them and always nervously awaited your response. Years went on like that! Every summer you’d promise to visit and every time Adrien would have the displeasure of having to read, in your flawless and delicate handwriting, that your parents canceled the trip for whatever reason.
Eventually, he decided it was best to move on. In the time you had been gone many things changed: he grew up, got big in the fashion industry, started school, became the new black cat miraculous holder, made friends! His life became overwhelmingly busy and the precious memories you made together faded away without notice. He found joy in other things and in his new friends! Your letters no longer brought the excitement they once did and consequently, he always postponed replying until eventually, it all stopped.
Much to Adrien’s shock, almost exactly a year after losing contact, he saw you! He had been transformed at the time, having just finished defeating an akuma when he saw you exiting a coffee shop down the street. He couldn’t believe his eyes and had it not been for the alarming beeping of his miraculous, he probably would have stayed petrified on top of that roof much longer. Once detransformed, he tried to go looking for you but to no avail.
It wasn’t until a week later that he finally got to talk to you again. Natalie reached out to your family and arranged for you two to meet. That Friday afternoon, you had lunch at a pizza place that you didn’t recognise. He looked the same. Same innocent glimmer in his eyes and ecstatic voice. It almost weirded you out how much it seemed this boy never changed. But of course, you weren’t right. Many things have changed.
Adrien tried his best to be open and friendly. To him, it felt like no time had passed at all, but you were so quiet and shy. A subtle frown was visible on your face from the moment you arrived and you barely looked him in the eyes. The air around you felt thick with discomfort, which was extremely frustrating to Adrien. He wanted to ask what’s wrong but found it so difficult to speak his mind until, eventually, you opened up yourself.
“Why did you stop writing?” your voice didn’t betray any feeling of anger or sadness and yet, Adrien was instantly washed over with guilt
“I’m sorry. I wanted to but…”
“Was I not worth it?”
“What?” Adrien couldn’t believe the words coming out of your mouth, but you were just as still and cold as before
“Because, you see, when we were kids you were one of the most important people in my life. You were my best friend and I honestly thought we would never ever be apart! No one could ever break us up! And I put everything I had into not losing that, convinced that you’d do the same for me! Because your friendship was worth more to me than any number of kilometers between us!” your words fell out quickly and stung him “Was I not worth fighting for, Adrien?”
He didn’t know what to say! He wanted to tell you he was just stupid and made a grave mistake. That you were more than worth it, but the words were stuck in his throat.
You didn’t speak after that. Adrien was heartbroken but figured you were already so mad at him, it would only make it worse if he kept pestering you on.
Eventually, one night, after patrol, he saw you! It was already way after dark and you were just strolling down the street all alone. A sense of anxiety overtook him and he knew he couldn’t go home just yet
“Good evening pretty lady!” he greeted you, full of glee. “The streets can get pretty nasty this late at night, y’know? Hope you don’t mind if this street cat walks alongside you for a while.”
“Hello Chat Noir!” your voice was so smooth and warm “ I’d really love that. I was actually quite uncomfortable walking alone.”
“Well then, fear not!The bravest and strongest hero in all of Paris is right here at your service! Did I also mention the most charming?” you giggled to his silliness
Adrien was ecstatic to get to talk to you again, like old times. He finally felt like he got his friend back! He didn’t even realize how big of a hole your absence had left in his life. After that night, he would accompany you everyday on your evening walks and, soon enough, you began hanging out at your house. Oftentimes he would knock on your bedroom window shortly after you got home from school and more often than not, he would spend hours at your place. You did almost everything together from playing video games to watching movies, cooking, gossiping. He would tell you all the fun stories he had with Ladybug from their patrols and would blush a little when you began laughing uncontrollably. It was just too cute.
With all this joy, still there was an ounce of pain at the idea that you didn’t know who you were really talking to. Almost every time you called him Chat, his heart would sting a little. He liked being Chat Noir. He loved it even. With you however, it just felt like one big lie he could do nothing about. He wanted you to look at him and see the boy from all those years ago. To look at him and call him by his name. To rejoice in old memories, instead of him having to pretend he hears the story for the first time. Adrien couldn’t help but feel like he was betraying you by simply being here, knowing how mad you were with his civilian self. When those thoughts got to him, he felt more alone than ever, but you almost always picked up on it
“What’s wrong?” you would ask and the sweetness of your voice ran like ice down his body. You would not be this kind if you knew
“Absolutely nothing, I am doing wonderful” he’d say through gritted teeth
“Sit down and talk to me!”
“I can’t. It’s personal” which you knew really meant “It would put my identity in danger”
So you would shut up. You’d make tea or let him have the last cookie as a sign of solidarity. To let him know you still cared. Sometimes he would ask you for hugs, which you would indulge him in. You’d wrap your arms around his shoulders and hug him tight to your chest, trying to convey all the love and care you had for him in that one gesture. Almost always, the hero would melt into your embrace as if he’d never been held before. His head would rest on your shoulder and his blonde locks tickled your neck and cheek.
Confessing to you was the biggest risk he ever took, which meant a lot considering his occupation. It happened after yet another game of cards lost by Chat. It had been what felt like his 15th loss of the night and in a futile attempt to protect his remaining dignity, he slipped
“You’re only winning cause I love you too much to let you lose!” the cocky attitude dropped instantly as he processed his choice of words. You were just looking at him, a little quizzingly, unsure if you heard him right.
“Do you mean that?”
“I do”
The brightest smile overtook your features instantly “Good. I love you too!”
It was difficult for a long time. The secret identity issue became even greater with the new level of intimacy that was expected with the start of a romantic relationship. On top of that, Adrien was pretty clueless. You were his first girlfriend, the first girl he ever fell in love with, the pressure was high. He wanted to be the best boyfriend there was! He brought you many gifts, big and small. He spent as much time with you as he could, he always told you just how much you actually meant to him. The blush on your cheeks and the witty comebacks made him melt through his seat every time and with every happy memory he made with you came the unmistakable pain of never really being completely honest with you. On one of your sleepovers, the feelings were overwhelming Chat more than he thought was possible
“What’s going on Chat?”
“Nothing darling. Just tired”
“Come on, you know you can’t fool me! You’ve been quiet all night, it’s really unlike you”
Adrien’s mind went empty when you sat on the floor in front of him, lightly running your fingers over his leather clad ones. The trust and love in your eyes was so mesmerizing. No one had ever looked at him like that and for a split second he imagined your reaction if you knew who he was. He wondered if you’d kick him out. Break up with him here and now and never want anything to do with him ever again. He imagined the anger in your voice, the betrayal. And then, he considered, briefly, a different option. A scenario in which you’d hug him tight and kiss the top of his head, and there’d be no more lies. No more secrets, no more of these impossible feelings that were tormenting him. That smile, that bliss, engulfed his mind and he felt powerless in the face of hope.
“I’m sorry” he said weakly
“For what?” and before he could think for another second, talk himself out or consider the consequences of his actions, he did the only thing he felt was logical
“Plagg, claws in”
When the green light vanished and Adrien found himself back in his normal clothes, he didn’t muster to look at your face
“Chat, what are you doing?” finally, he glanced up, only to find you curled up on the ground, with your hands over your eyes. You hadn’t seen him
“It’s ok.”
“You detransformed?”
“Yes…”
“Chat you can’t do that.”
“I want you to see me” he tried to sound confident, but it came out almost as a plea.
“What about Ladybug?”
“I’ll deal with her later. It’s ok. I swear”
“Chat…”
“Please”
Adriean reached out to pull your hands away from your face, but your eyes were still closed
“Chat?”
“Yes?”
“Before I look, I want you to know that I love you regardless of who you are. If you’re doing this because you think I can’t love you fully without knowing your identity, if you’re doing this for me, please know that this won’t change anything. I want you to be comfortable with this, ok?”
Adrien blushed, feeling tears well up in his eyes
“I want to do this” he kissed your knuckles “if that’s ok with you”
Slowly, you opened your eyes and Adrien felt his heart beating out of his chest. Your face went soft and your eyes welled up with tears and you looked at eachother. You couldn’t muster a word and neither could he. He took this as you being disappointed and let go of your hand, only for you to grab it once more, much harder than before. Finally, tears came rolling down your cheeks, as you whispered a simple “I love you”
That night, neither of you could stop crying. The liberation of all secrets and all lies felt divine and finally, Adrien felt like he was 100% safe for the first time in his life.
Many things changed after that. Adrien got a serious scolding from Ladybug, since he couldn’t lie to her about what he’s done. She wasn’t as mad as he expected her to be, so in the end it was all worth it when you began showing up to the Agreste mansion to hang out. It was hard for Adrien to find time to spend with her during the day but Natalie was always so understanding of their relationship and tried her best to squeeze in an hour or two here and there for you! Now, Adrien could hold your hand and take you to his photoshoots. You facetimed more often and it finally felt like you got the relationship you were always meant to have.
~~~
Paris looked beautiful from the top of the Eiffel tower. Chat took you here many times before. It felt so romantic being up there with your best friend, the boy of your dreams! You felt so powerful looking down at all the lights and cars passing by and at the same time so protected by his tight grip around your waist. Nothing could hurt you if he was there, with or without the costume! But the arms holding you now were much slimmer and much less concerned with your safety. You knew you shouldn’t look down from the edge you were standing on but it was so hard not to. Lila was manic next to you, laughing and shouting about her imminent victory, taunting the two superheroes that were struggling to catch up.The tiny robots Lila could control with her powers had kept Ladybug and Chat Noir busy for just enough time to allow the akumatized girl to take you with her, away from the scene and up here.
“Be careful with what you do next Ladybug, otherwise the girl gets it!” the taunting manner in which she spoke felt hardly like Lila. You never found her to be a particularly pleasant person to be around but the malice with which she spoke now was so unusual!
She kicked your shin, making one of your legs drop off the edge. Had it not been for her holding onto your forearm, you would have dropped. You could see Ladybug and Chat approaching but they were so far away and it felt like they were moving so slowly. A cry ripped through your chest as you hung there, your life in the hands of this girl you couldn’t even recognise anymore.You were trying to pull yourself back on the ledge with your other foot before she kicked that one too, swinging you in the air by your arm.
“Oh oh, but you’re so far away little Bug? Whatever are you gonna do if my hand …slips?” she let go with a chuckle.
Chat couldn’t see anything around him anymore, all he saw was your helpless body falling from the sky! He screamed your name but he was still so far! Ladybug threw her yoyo, trying to form a net below you, but the speed at which you were falling was much greater than anybody expected. You fell right through the net, breaking it to pieces and hit the ground with a hard thud. Chat screamed, Ladybug was speechless, all the while Lila was laughing on her way down!
“Chat, get her! I’ll handle Lila!”
That’s all it took. Chat was looking down at your unconscious form before he knew it. You were so bloody and so limp in his arms.
“Don’t!” you whispered when he tried to pick you up
“It’s not safe for you here, I need to hide you away!” he almost screamed, too relieved to see you alive to be able to control himself
“It’s over Chat!”
“Don’t talk like that! You will be ok! I will make you ok!”
“I’m tired…”
“No, don’t do it! Focus on me, focus on my voice! Can you see me?”
“You have to protect the people…”
“You are the only one I have to protect! I’m sorry I wasn’t there to catch you, I’m sorry! Please! Please let me protect you!” tears were streaming down his face and he found himself thinking that he would sell his soul to switch places with you
“Chat, I love you” you said through your own tears
“Don’t say goodbye!”
“I’m not”
“I love you Y/N! I love you so much, please don’t leave me alone! I can still save you!” he laid his head on your chest, not believing his own words
“I’ll always love you Adrian!” you whispered in his ear, kissing his temple with the last of your powers
~~~
“You need to hurry up, Adrian needs to be at a press conference across town in one hour and we’re already behind schedule because of you!”
“Nathalie, stop that! Everyone is doing their best here.”
“This photoshoot was supposed to be over already!”
“Maybe you should go have some water while you wait, yeah?” Adrien was trying to be nice but he felt really bad about the way Nathalie was speaking to the makeup artist. He knew they were very busy and Nath was under a great deal of stress but still, he felt it wasn’t fair to the girls working hard to get him ready.
“I’m sorry about that! She’s a lovely person, it’s just the last couple of days have been really hard for her”
“Oh, it’s alright, sir. Trust me I’ve seen much worse before” the young girl replied “Plus, I would imagine that making the switch to become a full time model would bring on a lot more responsibilities on her side.”
“Yeah, you’re right.” Adrien chuckled. “If you would have told me last year, when I was still in school, that my schedule would be even more packed as a graduate, I would have probably given up modeling then and there. Now I just deal with it.”
Adrien observed himself in the mirror, thinking back to his high school days. He tried to remember what he looked like, although that was very difficult. He knew his hair was much longer now, reaching just below his chin. He thought his face was a bit slimmer and many people told him he put on a healthy amount of muscle in the last couple of months, but he was still himself, just 20.
“If you don’t mind sir, we need the first couple of buttons of your shirt undone for the next set. I will add a little contour to the collarbones and then we’re done”
Said and done, with the first few buttons open he looked even more manly than before.
“Um, I think we should take the necklace off if you don’t mind…”
Eyes shot down to his chest, where a tiny silver ring on a chain hung, barely glistening in the lights around.
“Yes, that’s alright” he said, although he never liked taking it off. There was always a worry in the back of his hand about misplacing it or something and the thought was simply unbearable, but he understood.
“That’s a very beautiful piece of jewelry”
“Thank you!” he looked down at the ring twirling it between his fingers. It was so simple, he wasn’t used to receiving compliments on it, even from the select few that got to see it. A simple golden band with a round diamond in the middle. It was so small for him, he could never get it more than halfway down his ring finger. “It belonged to somebody I cared a lot about.” He remembered how hard he worked to get your ring size, all those years ago. It was difficult to do it behind your back, since you had always been so good at reading his body language, you always knew when he was up to something. He remembered all those nights spent on the internet, looking for the perfect ring for you! He knew it needed to be simple but sometimes it was so hard to talk himself out of buying one of the big and glamorous ones. He just wanted to spoil you rotten and if he didn’t take the chance to do that when he was buying your engagement ring, then when would he? Finally, after weeks, he finally found this one and fell in love. It was perfect for you and you were gonna love it. The day it arrived was one of the most exciting times he experienced in the last decade, he could still feel his heart pumping now, at the memory.
“They can’t wear it anymore so I just keep it!” in fact, you had never even gotten the chance to try it on, but those details don’t need to be shared. Still, thinking about the incident, taking place only 2 weeks after he got the ring, hurts him to no end. He was planning the perfect engagement, a grand romantic gesture to make all your dreams come true but now he felt sorrow and regret, wishing he would have simply ran to your door the same day that package was delivered to ask you. At least then you would have known, you would have had the chance to say yes.
“I’m sure they were an incredible person” Adrien only nodded to that “Well, you’re all done, you can head to the set now”
“Thank you, I’ll just drop this off to Nathalie and go”
The pain of not having you around would never go away, Adian had accepted that as a fact! You would always be there for any anniversary or birthday, achievement or simply on lazy days when his mind would wonder. Nothing made the sting of not being able to hold your hand go away but at least the ring, your ring, would comfort him in those moments.
