Pocrescophobia

I destroyed myself so you couldn't

[paisipe]

[starving-bpd-deactivated2018080]

Someone: anorexia will kill you

Me: and who says that’s not my ultimate goal?

[as-lost-as-you-are]

[as-lost-as-you-are]

[tinybitch0]

when im fasting i literally feel weightless like i feel so graceful and lovely and like my collarbones are more visible and everything is finally falling into place and then i eat and it all shatters and i can see my real fat self in the mirror again fuck

[lockzinhas]

[sickhead-ed]

Tired eyes, messy hair.

Mind on fire, blurry vision.

are you dead, yet?

It’s all about numbers, stepping endlessly on and off the scale.

Are you there, yet?

Lying to your mom, I already ate.

Laughing with your friend to hide the screams of your stomach.

Are they convinced, yet?

“You smell like puke.” they said.

“Your eyes are red, are you sick?” - a little.

Are you okay, yet?

It’s 2:00 AM, sitting on the kitchen floor, eating everything in sight, shaking and promising yourself not to mess up tomorrow.

Are you lying, again?

Rubbing your collarbones, wrapping your fingers around your wrists.

Are they visible, yet?

Passing out, missing class and worried parents.

Are you winning, now?

it’s people congratulating you on your weight loss even though you’re sick but you’re fat, so “it’s a diet, not an illness” they say, you can never be sick enough.

But it’s never about thin enough, it’s never about your weight, it’s a monster feeding off of your suffering, it’s wiped out smiles, fallen hair and emptiness, it’s meaningless doctors appointments, it’s collapsing bodies and fragile bones.

it’s addictive, it’s destructive, it’s white hospital rooms, feeding tubes and a beautiful casket eventually.

Are you beautiful, yet?

A little something I wrote the other day.

[2kcal]

♡

[mydarksun-shine]

[inferior]

It’s cool. I don’t like me either.

[magicthin]

먹지 마라.

[as-lost-as-you-are]

[sluttybitch2008]

i hate looking ugly the first time i meet someone like wait i can do better than this i swear

[lunierex]

What did I even think about before I started thinking about food all the time?

[givenuprecovery]

Thought I found a way out

[please-dont-eat-the-roses]

Anyone else currently stuck with their CW only a little below their SW because every time they actually lose some weight they end up binging and gaining it back and now they feel like all the effort to lose the weight in the first place was for nothing?

Or is that just a me thing?

[ciigarettedoll]

my thoughts and feelings.