❀ ⁞ canines of the saviour . 𝄢

he him ☆ not official or rp

[asacredguardian]

" i am the final dawn , ⠀⠀⠀⠀i am the flood .

⠀what was missing from those scriptures ⠀⠀will be written in my blood . "

❀ ⠀vessel﹐ves﹐veridian⠀﹢⠀he⠀him

✩ spiritual fictionkin

❀ ⠀... does it count as canon divergent ?

✩ not entirely human, some sort of divine entity with abnormal features and abilities .

❀ ⠀i already have all of my canonmates .

✩ i am also the director . they are both the same kintype . - [ purposefully isolated blog. if you've managed to stumble upon this yourself, you weren't meant to see this. no matter what you think of me, i welcome you to fall with me nonetheless . ]

- ❀ - ✦ - ❀ -

tagging: ✩🗡️ - textposts. / normal posts where i just write my thoughts. ✩🗡️ - responses. / answering asks. ✩🗡️ - reposts. / reblogs. self explanatory. ✩🗡️ - associates. / people i know. - ✩🗡️ - memories. / kin memories. ✩🗡️ - dreams. / dreams, nightmares, or visions i've had in my memories. ✩🗡️ - his vessels. / either talking to or about the other vessels. "✩🗡️ - the ____ chosen" / the other vessels' respective tags. ✩🗡️ - the godmother. - sleep's respective tag. ✩🗡️ - gods. - discussing the gods.

[asacredguardian]

it gets. annoying. ok. to everyone, even to me. all i can do is want and want and want and it never fucking ends. its so fucking excruciating and its starting to feel like its all i ever talk about. im grieving something thats technically still alive. im grasping at something thats never going to be in my reach. it gets worse every time another wave washes over me. i genuinely cant enjoy anything right now. its getting to the point where i wish we never met.

no matter what i think about her, i always fucking miss her. im still bound to her. its in my name. its all i ever am. all i will be. i cant run from it. there will always be something to remind me.

theres nothing to say about it that hasnt already been said. only that im so tired of chasing phantoms.

[asacredguardian]

i need to stop Accidentally Reblogging here cause the point is that nobody knows this exists

[asacredguardian]

insanely fucked up that you can begin to yearn for something you once feared

[asacredguardian]

- 🟆 -

,,, weirdly, i remember that one dream i had, now and again. the one where i knelt in the middle of the woods, eating the entrails of a deer carcass. not... the most appealing thing to occasionally have flashbacks to. but the horrificness of the contents isnt exactly what bothers me anymore. it's... my reaction to it.

usually, i've found myself disgusted at the memories of the texture between my teeth and the awful taste, as well as the sheer horror of what i was doing. but now, more recently, i've felt,, hungry, in some way. starving, even. i can feel my fangs and my claws, and all i can think about is tearing into flesh and the iron taste of blood.

i... do not think that's good!

- 🟆 -

[asacredguardian]

im the farthest thing from vessel shifted currently but.... chew toy... ehehehehehehehehehehhehehehehe

[asacredguardian]

- 🟆 -

,,, weirdly, i remember that one dream i had, now and again. the one where i knelt in the middle of the woods, eating the entrails of a deer carcass. not... the most appealing thing to occasionally have flashbacks to. but the horrificness of the contents isnt exactly what bothers me anymore. it's... my reaction to it.

usually, i've found myself disgusted at the memories of the texture between my teeth and the awful taste, as well as the sheer horror of what i was doing. but now, more recently, i've felt,, hungry, in some way. starving, even. i can feel my fangs and my claws, and all i can think about is tearing into flesh and the iron taste of blood.

i... do not think that's good!

- 🟆 -

[asacredguardian]

i did this stupid thing for the bit (credit in the top left)

this is the first time ive actually drawn myself post-arcadia.....

[asacredguardian]

fuck you. steals your mourning dove motif

hoo WOO ooo ooo ooo

[asacredguardian]

my husband :::(

[asacredguardian]

im so sick of being like this rn it doesnt benefit me at all can i trigger a iii shift somehow

[asacredguardian]

okay so i went outside in the cold without a jacket and somehow that helped? im not freaking out anymore, at least. the quiet was nice. it doesn't come close to home, though.

[asacredguardian]

im !! Fine!!! everything is !!!! cool and awesome!!! this will blow over like it always does!!! nevermind the ache in my soul!!!

there is no one here to ease the panic anyway

[asacredguardian]

why the fuck is the anomaly trauma coming back and more importantly why is it something i yearn for why do i want to feel myself splitting apart at the seams again

[asacredguardian]

i want to be holy again please just let me be yours again

[asacredguardian]

i was. joking when i said i was crashing out please don't make it reality please please PLEASE

im not even typing formally but i can't stress enough how horrendously bad the shift has gotten. im typically in a constant state of missing her and missing being her acolyte and i hate it but it's never genuinely been this BAD. i need to go outside. i need to look at the moon. it's all so empty its all so meaningless who the fuck am i why aren't i home this isn't right there is a hole in my chest there is an empty space in my mind its so quiet its so quiet

[asacredguardian]

ok maybe its Something In Particular but they don't need to know that

good gods im a fucking mess i cant imagine how i handled myself back then when this was all there was

[asacredguardian]

crashing out Just A Bit over Nothing In Particular but its vaguely kin related... im so genuinely out of it today what is with that