A Scenic View @ascenicviewofhell - Tumblr Blog

I miss him SO much, my big bubba. 😔

My day is so different without him. The house feels off without him too. Quieter, less special.

McG keeps sleeping in his last spot and won’t finish all of his food. Poor dude. 💙

We’re both grieving, it will take time to learn to live in a world without Grimm.

I lost my big puppy guy yesterday 💙

It was at home and peaceful which is all I ever wanted for him at the end. But it’s still so hard, and I’m going to miss my sweet Grimmy SO much.

#11 years wasn’t enough but they were all better because of him

Enjoying some cooler days with the boys while it lasts. ❤️❤️

Just playing with some colors and new brushes. 🎨

Used the long weekend to do some more unpacking, nesting and spend quality time with L ❤️

Also trying to regularly grow my army of tiny paintings.

I’m actually getting paid for some scenic sign work I did for a nearby private school, and my friends are going to pay me to do some accent mural work at their house.

Not off to a bad start. 🎨

Playing with some tiny format pieces. 💀❤️

#like aceo size #which is business card dimensions #teeny tiny art #should I sell stuff like this?

L continues to impress me with how wonderful he is.

He planned a whole weekend for us in my neck of the woods, and I loved every minute of it.

This was a love I never saw coming, but it feels so damn good to be cared for and considered like this.

I try to do the same for him, and it’s been so lovely. ❤️

Shaking off a little dust. Not really sure what direction this will go.

So for a while I have toyed with the idea of starting some kind of an art-based side business. Not sure exactly what/how, but I’m willing to explore.

Since the job hunt is in a rut (but ever continuing) maybe it’s a good time to figure it out? Maybe the side biz idea can float me along while I continue the search.

If not financially, at least as a good mental outlet.

Seems like a good time to try. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I have a fun little spring cold 🤧 so we are porch sitting and borking at stuff. 🐶🐶❤️

#the collar is just for beeps and buzzing #he’ll runny for the bunny #my dog boys

The job search has not yielded much.

A few interviews, one with my former employer for a different job open in the same department.

I wasn’t even going to apply for it, but I was encouraged to.

I got to round two then cut before the panel interviews (which I was told I would be included in).

Found out via HR that I was out of the running, no direct word from the hiring manager who I worked closely with for 11+ years.

Kind of shitty - I’m sure it’s a policy, but not very human of them.

Got to a round two with another nonprofit, cut before the panel. I could definitely do that job in my sleep, but I bet I said something weird in my 2nd interview. Being honest doesn’t always land well, I guess.

It’s hard. Many rejections. Gotta keep doing the things over and over, but it sucks.

I’ll probably regroup and re-do my resume and overhaul my portfolio. Again.

#it’s an extended exercise in humiliation

Another amazing weekend with L. ❤️

Words fall short. I’ve been quieter and adjusting to all the newer elements of life here. But the love is loud, authentic and I’m basking in it.

We’re at three months of being together, and no one is rushing, or pushing. No one is avoiding or dragging their feet. The pace and rhythm feels right, steady and solid.

I find myself taking the rest, taking time, moving deliberately - I have a lot of stuff I need to do here, but my life has been in various states of limbo since April 2024. Between the betrayal, the decision to walk away, the separation, divorce, home sale, moving, staying with my parents, home purchase and another move - It’s been a very long ride to get here.

Losing my job of 12 years was unnecessary sprinkles on that shitty multi-layer cake, but I’m here, still on my feet, in the fight and figuring it out.

I’m two interviews in with two different nonprofits and waiting to get info/invites for the next round, aka: the panel interviews.

(But boy do they take their sweet time! 😆)

It’s really a weird shift to go from a very long term partner who progressively ignored and rejected you over the years, to dating someone who is super proactive, communicative, affectionate and completely crazy about you.

The hardest part is fully enjoying it in the moment, and not entertaining that part of your brain that’s waiting for the bottom to drop out.

I’m learning. Slowly but steadily.

#I’m pretty crazy about him too ❤️