DISCIPLINE, UNDEFIABLE.

OUR ERA HAD NO SHORTAGE OF LEADERS, BUT THEY WENT SO FAR AWAY THAT THEIR FOLLOWERS LOST THEM. THAT'S WHY... I CAME BACK.

[asceticlife]

ASCETICLIFE.

independent and private roleplay blog for APONIA, 3RD FLAMECHASER of mihoyo's HONKAI IMPACT 3RD. as mused by sinclair ( 21 ). crossover + oc friendly. low activity due to college + old laptop. please read rules before interacting.

INTEREST CHECKER.

[asceticlife]

man. aponias hsr verse is really, really evil now that 3.0 is real. they weren't lying. Elysia Expy !

[asceticlife]

when the

[asceticlife]

@stalwartembers | continuing from here.

the hostility isn't even met with a flinch. aponia's gentle smile remains on her face, as if it were stapled there. the questions being asked are reasonable enough. they are things she can answer, and answer she will. however... that weapon is a bit of a problem. she cannot give explanations if she is attacked. she is almost certain that once she starts, the other will only have more and more questions. questions that aponia won't really be able to answer if she's struck down. perhaps she is going about this the wrong way. perhaps not. raiden mei's appearance made an impact on her. an important one.

" please , " she speaks, " sit still. " her discipline isn't something so easily defied. has it ever been defied before ? it's been so long that aponia herself is unsure. well, regardless. it matters little in this situation. what matters is ensuring that there is no needless violence. if this woman cannot move, then there is nothing to worry about.

did she hurt mei... it isn't as clear cut as a yes or no. how to explain, how to explain.

" perhaps. if so, then not on purpose. i... tried to see fate went as planned. the strings said... that raiden mei was to die. she somehow denied her end , however. we fought, but i did not kill her. i am not malicious. ask me whatever you so please, and i... will answer as best as i can. "

[asceticlife]

heres my silly discord if anyone wants it

[ofurizen]

❝ Bury me, just leave me to sleep in the dirt… Finish me, I'm floating away… Something's dying inside of me. I've been crucified and hung out to dry, yet my heart still beats and I feel so alive.

── ⠀*⠀·✦ ‹⠀#OFURIZEN : an independent, canon divergent & headcanon heavy portrayal for 𝐕 from 𝐃𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐥 𝐌𝐚𝐲 𝐂𝐫𝐲 𓂅 enchanted by NOVA.

[savedembers]

Hey guys, I'm Solis! Some call me Wolf, and I've been around this site for so long, it's hard to believe I'm still kicking here haha. This is my Multi-Muse blog slowly being reforged and fixed up to be prettier, and more neat and orderly, featuring a bunch of Fandoms! Punishing: Gray Raven, Honkai 3rd Impact, Black Rock Shooter, and so many more! Starring the current Queen of the Blog, Kiana Kaslana!

If you're interested in checking out the blog, rping with any of my small list of muses (might turn larger in the future), or just want to help, mind liking or reblogging this small promo? These tend to get out more, and well, since I'm coming back fully, I want to find new friends and people to write with!

[stupidneko]

DID YOU PRAY TODAY!?

[memovia-moved]

【 ♞ 】 ― Cerulean hues widened at her confession and compliment, though he was aware that his eyes were quite vibrant― the Captain was not used to receiving praises such as these. Hence, the bashfulness surfacing up his cheeks as he cleared his throat awkwardly.

❝ No apology needed. ❞ The tone in his voice was a little stiff while he shook his head, an attempt at shrugging off the sheepish expression on his face. There was nothing to be sorry about and if she was fine to continue on with the tour, then Gepard had no reason to question her further.

❝ Well, I am glad you are feeling alright. I was starting to get a bit worried there. ❞

A little smile graced upon his lips at that, the armored hand that once rested upon her had lifted off, only to pull out a pair of passes for the museum. Fanning the pieces of paper out, Gepard gave them a shake.

❝ Shall we? ❞

He took a step back from her. The blue eyes that she adored so much, shimmered brightly against her gaze― anticipating, ready to guide her into the museum.

[asceticlife]

it feels incredibly strange to watch a reaction like come from her words. it's incredibly foreign. her own eyes widen slightly at the response it brings out from the man. it's been at least a century since she's seen a thing, and even then... no, no, never mind. dwelling on the past won't do anything. all aponia can do is smile-- much like she always does. that's not to say her smile isn't genuine, however. gepard's reaction is... endearing, in a way.

no apology needed... well, if the man isn't uncomfortable, then that's good. that's all that matters, really. any guilt that may or may not have bloomed within washes away like dead petals in the rain. she nods, smiling a bit more widely than before. there isn't anything to worry about now, then. still, the memories of her past haunts her like always. oh, how she yearns to see them again. perhaps in her death. ah, but none of that has to do with belobog.

aponia lets out a hum of acknowledgement at his words, nodding along. "there's no reason to concern yourself over me. i'm just..." oh, how to explain herself. "i'm just a woman who's stuck in her own mind." it's truthful. perhaps it lacks detail but... no one really shares their woes with strangers, do they ?

really, such a gentleman. aponia wouldn't be surprised if the blonde was admired and well-loved by all those who inhabit the city. she lets out a content sigh as her eyes flutter shut momentarily before reopening. her first step into a new world-- properly, that is.

"we shall."

what lies within the history of this place ? the past of this world is not her own. if she's to look back, she should look back upon a past she will never experience.

[asceticlife]

like for a funny silly little one liner that may end up being more than a one liner

[asceticlife]

hi...

[asceticlife]

aponia headcanon / ramble. ʚɞ-- self-image, how she’s been perceived and attachment.

thinking about how absolutely doomed aponia is. damned if she does, damned if she doesn’t. it doesn’t matter because regardless she will always be viewed as a monster. change fate and something awful happens. simply let things be and people will blame her for not trying to fix it since she can see the future. trying to become the author only to become an audience member, still helpless but now forced to only watch. god, it probably doesn’t help that like....70+ of the kids under her care died.

which leads me to think about how even amongst some of the flamechasers she’s demonized. it’s so fucked how her attempted kindness towards griseo is sometimes just. seen as Bad and yet she tries time and time again! she’s just trying to be kind to the child... rare moment of mama aponia... rare moment of aponia’s humanity...

this poor woman must demonize herself so much considered she was literally doomed from the start. nothing she could do would change anything and if she didn’t try, she’s just... hated for that too. and then the whole thing with sakura’s sister . girls when they have to sacrifice themselves and look towards the unknown in an attempt to maybe kinda sorta fix things. oughhhgh.

i think that aponia tries really really hard not to show humanity in the way of like... attachment and the like because she views herself as a monster and if she can’t get close to anyone, well, she can save them some of the pain that would be knowing that someone they know sees their fate and cannot/will not do anything to change it (lest it end up worse). 

that’s all to say that i believe when she gets properly attached to someone, she is quite possessive and protective because haha funny silly trauma and the ever present guilt of her sins. doesn’t matter if the person she’s attached to can protect themselves, she will absolutely do everything in her power to protect them. partially for them and partially for herself (because trauma and guilt). the possessiveness is also a result of not wanting them to be hurt. not that it’s particularly intense, but it’s noticeable. ill probably go into detail about that at a later time though.

also, huge soft spot for children. just to put that out there. 

tldr: aponia’s in the torture nexus forever. she is also possessive and clingy and loves children.

[asceticlife]

i forgot she said these lines.

[asceticlife]

happy sinday everyone. my one contribution: sex with aponia would be crazy.

[memovia-moved]

【 ♞ 】 ― Ah. So just "Aponia" then? The realisation of his constant display of chivalry shook him like a tree being shaken of its leaves. Right, this was not an official meeting and neither was she someone from the Silvermane. There was no need to keep up the professional front. Gepard made a mental note on this silently as they carried on.

Yet, something caught his eye just as he looked back. She was floating, just barely, and if it were anyone else, they would not have noticed. The war had trained his eyes to be sharp, to pick up the smallest of details in the everlasting snow. But even with such an observation, he still kept mum. This power of hers did not seem harmful after all, so the man turned his focus away deliberately.

Retrieving two passes for the Museum at the counter up front, he returned to her side fairly quickly. Just as his lips parted to speak, Gepard noticed how tightly Aponia's hands were clasped together. Worry set upon his furrowed eyebrows, the man bent down slightly to meet her pale gaze that had strayed.

❝ Are you feeling quite alright, M- ❞ He immediately corrected himself, ❝ Aponia? ❞

An armored hand hovered for a moment or two, before finally resting upon her shoulder gently. Gepard's azure irises peered at her as he continued with a tone of concern.

❝ Would you like to take a breather before we head in? ❞

[asceticlife]

worry. it seems she's managed to concern the man before her somehow. perhaps her demeanor is off-putting... ? or perhaps he is more observant than most... ? either way, aponia needs to reassure him. there is nothing to be worry about. she is fine, and if she isn't, she will be. her gentle expression remains and she forces herself to lighten her grip. a breather... if only that would help. perhaps there is some comfort to be found in this, though. the fact that she feels so strongly is proof of their existence, proof that she still remembers. there is something in that, just as there is something in gepard's bright blue eyes. lovely. they're so lovely.

the gentle touch nearly makes her tense. she isn't adverse to it. not at all. it is simply foreign. unfamiliar. how many years has it been... ? ah, she really ought to ease the man's distress. she's fine. really, she is. the guilt of her past will be present for however long she lives, and that is simply fact. it's something aponia has come to terms with long ago. it is something gepard needs not worry about.

" i'm fine. i just... " a pause. " your eyes. they're very beautiful. i... they remind me of an old friend is all. i apologize if that's a bit strange.. " it certainly feels strange to vocalize the thought but it isn't a lie. perhaps a bit of a deeper shade, perhaps a bit less piercing but still a exquisite and rich shade of lapis. akin to that of a beautiful butterfly. breathtaking, really.

ah, but her own admiration aside... there is still some reassuring to do.

" i was... simply thinking. i'm fine to continue on. " it's not like there would be anything that could truly help, after all.

[asceticlife]

☕ for gepard!

hot beverage.

jarilo-vi is a cold, cold place. it is a world covered in snow and ice, in sleet and frost. belobog is warmer than it naturally should be, warm enough for some people to decide not to wear coats. things that would keep people protected from the elements. it's very curious, honestly. aponia can appreciate the technological advances. vill-v would've loved to look at the mechanisms these people have come up with. perhaps she would even be able to improve them. pyrotechnics was something she dabbled in more often than not. the warmth would be appreciated, she imagines.

speaking of warmth... gepard. gepard offers aponia warmth. to be able to get close with another human ( ah, it feels strange to even consider herself such a thing... with all her sins, she feels more honkai, more beast, than person ) after all this time. companionship is a rarity, even nowadays. it is her own fault, but that just makes this connection she's formed something she shall cherish even more. despite their bond aponia is still... distant, she will admit. a bit too stiff, not letting her posture fall for even a second. her words are still chosen carefully. fear. there is still fear within her. ah, how it hinders her. how it hinders them.

gepard makes her feel warm, and aponia wants to return the feeling. jarlio-vi is a cold, cold place. gepard is a silvermane guard, and that seems like it would put him closer to the sheer cold. keeping the people safe is his duty, and while the people of belobog likely offer him warmth... their warmth is not aponia's. their favors are not her own.

and thus, she works hard.

this isn't something aponia's done in a while. she feels uncharacteristically nervous. fear. there is still fear. she stands there, tall frame as straight as ever. her hands, however, are not clasped together as they usually would be. gentle smile ever-present, she waits. and when the man of the hour finally arrives, aponia's posture relaxes ever so slightly.

" gepard, " she speaks fondly, " for you. i... hope you enjoy. "

mulled wine and moussaka. a hot drink and an even hotter meal. the transfer of warmth from one being to another. indeed, she truly hopes he enjoys.

[alyzememes]

send ‘☕’ for my muse to surprise yours with a hot beverage of their choice.

if you can’t see the symbol send hot beverage.