He was looking at me straight in the eyes as if he’d lived inside of them before. And as his hand slid smoothly through the side of my face, his thumb gently caressed my jaw. His fingers crawled beneath my hair, and I could feel his fingertips at the back of my ear as they softly brushed against my skin. There I was thinking that everything was happening so fast and too soon. We just met. We literally just met. Two months ago, or around that. And now this. Oh but then again, connection does not care about the laws of the land. This whole thing felt like I was being pulled to the place I belong. I wasn't sure what was actually going to happen, how this evening was going to end, but I knew for sure we were taking another step. Taking things to the next level, higher than where we were. And for some reason, something about it felt comforting. Uneasy because it made me nervous, but comforting as if it was meant to be happening. So fast and so soon, but meant to be anyway. And so I wasn't scared. I wasn't unsure. I was just nervous. Then there was that tiny part of me that thought, not that I regret my past, I just regret all those times I spent with all those wrong people.
At this point, Sergio held me so tight, that there was nearly no gap between us. I could feel the heat of the fireplace behind me, and the warmth that Sergio’s body brought against mine. He’d let go of my lips but only for a few seconds. He slowly closed his eyes as our foreheads touch.
“You really make it so hard for me to stop thinking about this.” he nearly just whispered. My heart was pounding so hard, so fast, I could bet at the time, he could feel it. So I, too, just closed my eyes, and both my arms wrapped themselves around his neck once more. At that point, I decided I’d let him define the next steps, and lead the way.
“I thought you said to go with it?” I asked, “Trust the process, this and that...”
“I know. It's easier to talk when you were a foot away from me. But now, like this? Trying to get it out of my he'd is affecting me, at a level I didn't think it would.”
I couldn’t help but open my eyes. His last few words were strong, but his voice was totally the opposite. He sounded... calm. Like he’d accepted it and was fine with it.
“That’s a bad thing, I guess.” I uttered. This time, he also opened his eyes and saw me already looking at him. Our faces were so close that I felt like I was getting cross eyed.
"No, actually. I’m just trying not to think about it, about you all the time because, well, if I’m unable to help myself, I'll be all over you and you’ll think I'm a psycho or something of that sort. And I don’t want that. But really, ” he paused as if shy to reveal, “I like thinking of you all the time. And the things I wanna do to you. With you. I mean, with you. Things I wanna do with you. Well, of course there are things I want to do to you but that’s not the main thing. Okay, I'll shut up now.”
I felt my cheeks turn hot again. I must've turned tomato red at that point, and I couldn’t help the smile I formed. “You know, I’ve always wondered about something.” After all that he said, I now really had to ask. “I know what you’re going to think, you’ve heard these kinds of questions all the time in movies, books, places and instances where things are made up and aren’t real. And don’t get me wrong, it’s crazy sweet, how you tell me how you feel and all the rest of it. But I’d like to know, Sergio, why me?”
He was quiet. For a good few seconds, he was quiet. He also kind of avoided my eyes a little, but when he looked back into my eyes, his gaze was deep. “You ever met someone in an unexpected situation, and you’re not exactly sure how but it woke your soul and it never slept since?”
“No. I’ve never met someone that had that outcome.”
He let out a soft smile, what looked like a smile of relief. “I was hoping you’d say that.” he said. “But I have. The day after we met, I did come after you. That wasn’t a coincidence. Cause for some reason I felt like I recognized you. I---”
“Yes, I remember. You said I was familiar and you asked me if ---”
“No, not that.” he said even before I could finish. “I mean, yes you were familiar. But I recognized you. You know what I mean?”
“Um...yes, you recognized me. What other meaning could that have?”
“No, Marina, baby, it was like, I knew you. Even if at the time, I didn’t. The moment you entered the lift and I saw you, something woke up in me. Do you understand, nena? Do you understand that kind of feeling?”
Oh, he had no idea.
“So when the opportunity came to know you, I took it as a sign from the Universe.” he continued. “Besides, I couldn’t let you be just a stranger I recognized. It was too strong a feeling to ignore. I think something here is meant to happen.” Sergio paused, and I saw his jaws move, like he was clenching them.
“What do you mean?” I asked. “What is meant to happen?”
“That’s for another time. I don’t want to scare you, with me like this, talking deep and all.” he laughed lightly. And oh, God his laugh. With a voice deeper than he was talking. It sounded like caramel.
“Come on, tell me.” I asked him. Puppy eyes never worked for me, but I tried. “Elaborate?”
Sergio let out a deep breath and I felt his air land on my chest. “I’ve always wanted you. Liked you. Maybe even more than that. Even when I didn't know what I wanted or what I liked or what I loved. Even before I knew you.”
What the fuck does that even mean?
"Okay, now you’re starting to scare me. What is this? What are you saying?”
“Like I said, you aren’t ready for that talk yet.”
I was left with nothing to say. I wasn't sure how to react, damn, I wasn't even sure what facial expression to put on. I stood there, with my arms still around his neck, staring into his eyes, trying to read his mind.
“But forget about that for now, please? Right now, I’d like to know if you’re ready for this.”
I blinked once, then twice. “For what?”
Without a word said, Sergio leaned over and the next thing I knew, he’d opened my lips with his tongue once more. It was wet and warm and full. But this time, he kissed me without inhibitions, no second thoughts, no hesitation. A kiss that was sure, determined, like a message that was being sent not to be misinterpreted. Sergio held my face in place, moving it as he pleased in sync with the strokes of his tongue in my mouth. I tightened my arms around him, as response and to let him know I was with him on this. What ever this was, even.
We continued for minutes, kissing deeply, holding each other. There were moments when I couldn't help but moan softly, and I heard him grunt himself. I’ve never gotten so lost in a kiss before. He’d open his mouth wider as if to take all of my lips in, and everything that surrounded us fell away. Our lips made lapping sounds from all the kissing, and soon I started to feel hot all over. Especially in certain parts parts that get wet. Sergio began to writhe against me, too. And soon after I started feeling him get hard as he moved his body, predominantly over my pelvic area. My knees started turning to mush, and I was straddled over him. Soon, I felt one of his hands leave the side of my face and move to the cheek of my ass. He held it firmly, giving it a tight but gently squeeze. God, it got me so worked up. I was a lip bite away from stripping myself naked in front of his guy.
Few minutes later, he gently let go of my mouth from his. We were breathing heavily, catching our breaths. God, Sergio was such a good kisser. Crazy good.
“I’m sorry, was that too much?” he asked softly looking at me, his voice so deep and low. I shook my head, while I wiped my lips with the back of my hand.
“No. I --- I---” I looked down shyly for a second, then my eyes looked back at him even before I raised my chin back up. “I’ve never felt like that in a kiss.”
“Like what?”
“Like my insides was on fire and my soul was flying or something.” I laughed ever so lightly. Honestly. That kiss felt like it just told me that I did not know it until now, but I have been waiting for this person forever. You think I’m exaggerating, but no. I mean, it’s an over the top statement, but it’s accurate. I actually, really, as a matter of factly, felt that way. And I believed the way I responded to his kiss somewhat told him that, too. “It’s going to be hard to get over that kiss, Sergio. And if you’re trying to send a clear message, I think I got it. But if you were trying to ask whether I’m ready through that kiss,” This time, I smiled lustfully. “I hope you got your answer.”
He smiled, too. But a modest one rather than a smirk, or a smile of victory. “You know, there is a difference between kissing someone because you’re heavily attracted to them, and kissing someone because words can no longer accurately express your feelings for that person. And I know I've moved fast and this all feels so soon, but I don’t have the words right now to tell you how you make me feel. So nena, it’s gonna take more than just kissing. You know that, right?”
“Do I?”
“Well,” He lifted me as if to gesture for me to get off of him, which I did. We both stood up from the couch, and at this point, he took my hand and started to walk us towards the direction of the staircase. “You’re about to find out.”
“Wait, if the pizza guy comes, we’d be interrupted. Might we stay a bit and wait?”
“No. No one’s coming.”
“What?” Imagine my surprise.
“You’ll be eating something better than pizza tonight, nena. And so am I. And if you’re still up for it after, I’ll take you someplace nice for some real food.”
It felt like a long day by the time we reached his home. He said he'd order food, and we could hangout and rest while we wait. So then there we were, sitting on his couch side by side, I’d removed my shoe and curled up like half-a ball next to him, with my head over his chest. Sergio had one arm around me, while his other hand played with my fingers on our laps.
I stared at the light fire he lit up over at the digital fireplace. It was a nice quiet evening with no other plans.
Or so I thought.
Sergio adjusted his ass on the couch, which made me lift my head up from his chest momentarily. He sat sideways so that he was facing me, and he stretched his arm out and patted it, telling me I could rest my head on his forearm. I did exactly that, while I folded my knees and hugged my legs infront of me. Not for very long though, as Sergio took my hand and continued to play with my fingers while we looked at each other.
He was one handsome son of a bitch, this guy. How did I get so lucky? At the same time, the way he stared was as if to say something.
“How long before the food gets here?” I asked. “You look like you could just about eat me right now.”
“You have no idea, babe.” His eyes changed its look at me all a sudden, and bit his lower lip before going, “Can’t wait to get started.”
I smacked his lap with my palm quite strongly. “Shut up.”
“What?” He was laughing a good laugh at this point, and he was red all over his face. "Ouch! Marina, baby, stop! Hey!”
“Stop it. Shut up, shut up...” I smacked him again. This was the first time Sergio made any talk or joke about anything sexual. And although I kind of knew that if we do this whole he-and-I thing right and actually last long enough, we’d eventually get to that point. Just, I wasn’t expecting he be saying something about it that moment, moreover, make a joke about it.
“Stop what? You brought it up, I’m just saying, I would if you let me d----”
“Sergio!?” I smacked him again. And again, until I wasn't just hitting his lap. I hit his hand, his knee, his forearm, which he caught with his hand. Then he pulled me to him and wrapped his arms around me.
“Hey, hey, stop.” He said, but still chuckling. “I’m just being honest. I been thinking about it all day...”
“Sergio!? Knock it off!” My voice was muffled as my mouth was pressing against his chest. I could hear him laughing as if he found delight in making me feel this uncomfortable.
“Okay, alright.” He finally loosened his arms around me. “Okay, don't hit. I'm stopping.”
We both kind of straightened our shirts and fixed our hair. Sergio looked at me as if he found me amusing, while I looked at him like I was going to cut him somewhere if he joked about something sexual again.
“Don’t joke about something like that without warning, ever.” I said, trying not to smile but failing. I could feel my cheeks were on fire, and was all giddy inside. "It wasn’t even in the context of the situation?”
“Well, does it have to be?” He replied. “Can't I tell my girl that I want to ---”
“Watch it.”
“What? Seriously, what’s wrong?” He asked.
“Well, nothing’s wrong. I mean, we’re adults and all, but...” I found myself pausing, struggling how to explain myself. It was really just me. I feel like if Sergio starts something, I’d pounce on him and be the one to finish it. At least that’s how I feel like. I pot of boiling water just waiting for him to pull the lid up and I be exploding. And Sergio and I? I don’t think our relationship is in that level where I can feel comfortable letting him know that I wanted him this much. So much it’s embarrassing.
“But what?”
“Ugh. It’s hard to explain, okay?”
“Do you not want me?”
“Sergio?” I raised my eyebrows, stopping him before he goes at it again.
“It’s a serious question. I want to know. I want to hear it.”
“Ugh. Of course I want you. Bu--”
“How much?”
My eyes widened at him, as if to ask him whether he was serious with his question.
“Marina? How much.”
“Well, very much, if you must know. There.”
“So then?” He asked.
“What do you mean so then?”
“Can we not openly say to each other that? Can we not show each other how we feel?”
“Sergio...” What else was I supposed to say? I was being unreasonable to him, sure. But if he only knew, beginning to be this honest when it comes to how I feel about him, there’d be no going back.
“Your personality. It’s fascinating. Do you know that?” He almost just breathed out the words. “I’m sorry if I seem too comfortable telling you. That’s cause I am. And I hope it doesn't scare you away.”
“What, that I'm amazing?” I tried making light of the situation, to distract myself from almost melting like butter. “Tell me something I don’t already know.”
He smiled. At least I know he can take a joke. "You have no idea, Marina. How much I have to say.”
“Oh yeah. I’m sure.”
“No, really. But there’s a time for that.” he said. Now sounding like he was serious without a hint of tease or a joke. “And if you’re not okay letting me know how you feel about me, that’s okay. But at least allow me to tell you how I feel about you. Is that okay?”
I paused for a moment and folded my arms before me. “Not that I’m not ready letting you know how I feel, Sergio. I can let you know. Just, like you said, there is a time for that.”
"Fair enough. Pick your timing. But know that although I come off as if I’m kidding, and I may say so like I’m not serious, but it is the truth. I can't stop thinking of you. All the time, everyday. And when we’re together, I can't not look at you like this. I can’t not look at you, and I can’t not want you when I do. In all ways, want you. Just, I can't help myself. It almost feels like I’m meant to want you.”
I thought I could handle, humoring him, but feeling Sergio’s eyes crawling all over my face? The way he was talking? The things he was saying? The whole thing was driving my anxiety levels to the roof. “Okay, point taken. You can slow down now.”
“You’re not listening.” he softly said, that caramel voice as if dripping slowly off his mouth. “I just said I can’t.”
“Fine. Then what do I do with this information?” I struggled to keep eye contact. His gaze moved from my sights down to my nose, until eventually stopping at my lips.
“Nothing” he said, “Or do what you want with it. If it makes you want to open up about your feelings, and I hope you do a little, feel free.” At this point, he paused momentarily. His eyes also paused, staring at something below my nose. “God, your lips,”
“What about them?” This time, I decided I’d kind of mirror his tone. The whole whispery voice thing, to humor him. I thought, he thinks he’s the only one who knows how to tease. Well, maybe that's true, but hey, I could try. Give you a taste of your own medicine. Make your insides boil, make things so steamy you actually start sweating. Let’s see how you handle it.
“It’s one of your features that I think of the most. All the time, actually.”
“Because?” I kind of tilted my head to one side.
“You really need me to say it?” He smirked but a little, then in what was the most daring look I’d seem him in so far, he bit his lower lip. “To feed them only kisses, would be such a waste.”
What the fuck. “Stop it, Sergio. I’m serious.”
“Why?” He raised both his eyebrows, just as he licked his lips. I started to feel my heart pound seeing this. If Sergio doesn't stop, he will wish he did, I thought. Although I've always thought of myself as one who has the most wholesome physical features, and I have the sex appeal of a doorknob, God knows, I’m built for sin.
“Come on, why?” And Sergio was starting to sound like a legit sin. At that point, I could give in.
“Wait, we have to call for pizza...” was my poor attempt at trying to avoid sin.
But then, I got pulled back.
“Took care of that with the food app earlier. Now don’t be changing the subject. Tell me, why? Anything wrong that I’m saying?”
Oh, god. “No.”
“Then why? What, I can't tell my girl she's beautiful? That I can’t stop thinking about her? That I think thoughts, of things I wanna do? That I want to ---”
“Okay, stop. I didn’t say that, Sergio,” I laughed but nervously. Very nervously. “Just, it makes me conscious, okay? I’m pretty sure I’m maroon right now. I feel my cheeks getting hot.”
“Ah, let it be maroon. If any, I'm glad to know I make you feel like this. And besides, you’re always hot.”
“Sergio?! I just told you?”
“Stop being so anxious, nena. It’s just me.”
“Well, you're making me and I also can't help it, how about that?” I said to him. I pressed my lips together and shut my eyes closed for five seconds, trying to regain my calm and get myself collected. When I opened my eyes, I saw him looking at me with his eyebrows raised.
“Damn, you really are uncomfortable, aren’t you?”
I didn’t really say anything. I bit my lower lip as I looked at him, trying to decide what to do. To know what to do. Cause at that point, I didn't know what to do. How to react, especially when I started feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. Hot. Nervous. Hands cold. Heart pounding. I was starting to get worked up just seeing the way he looked at me. Like he was taking off my clothes with his eyes. Listening to his voice. Like he was talking to me in bed or something.
“Do you....” Sergio’s voice broke the silence, or into the noises in my head, rather. “You regret coming back here with me?”
“Of course not.” I very quickly replied. “Why would you think that?”
“Well, Just thought you might think I’m this aggressive, bad boy who moves too fast, too hard, with quite a distorted definition of what a serious relationship is. Don’t be having second thoughts about me now, alright? I’m just playing, okay? Just trying to loosen you up. You been so quiet since we got out of the travel agency.”
Well, good to know that wasn’t his default persona, I thought. I kinda knew that already, Sergio is an innately good guy, gentleman in all ways, and chivalry is alive in this guy. But after having seen him that way tongith, I also couldn’t discount the fact that he could have that side of him, too. Bold, daring, sensual, spicy, come-hither kind of a guy.
“Babe? You okay?”
“Huh? Yeah.” I smiled, giving him a sense of relief. ”I'm okay.”
However, Sergio just kept his gaze locked on me, as if waiting for me to change my statement because he was pretty sure I was going to.
“Sergio, we’re good.” I gently rubbed his forearm with my palm before squeezing his hand underneath mine. “I promise.”
“Are we, though? You sure?” At this point he put his palms up and took my fingers with his, intertwining them together. “You know I’m just playing, right? And I’m sorry if I kind of creeped you out back there, or if you didn’t like the way I talked. That’s not usually how I am, you know that, right?” he rubbed my cheek with the back of his fingers.
“Usually?” I repeated, about to switch topics again. “So there are times when you are?”
"Maybe.” He replied, obviously teasing with his voice once again. “Depends on several things.”
“Ah, I see. Like depends on whether you’re in the mood to pick up a pretty girl from a bar, you put on that voice and say chocolatey words, top them off with that look you got going?”
“I don’t do that.” he said, plain and straight as if he needed to establish a true statement. “And don’t change the subject. Really, I sense something is off.”
“I’m not worried about us, no. I’m concerned about you.”
“Me?”
“Well you been awfully quiet. There's something bothering you, babe, something you’re not telling me. Are you anxious about something? The trip? Your parents? I hope not but should I be worried about something back home? Or someone?”
“No, no, God, no.” It didn't occur to me that I gave off that vibe. Either that, or Sergio is just one really sensitive guy. “Listen. If I ever am even anxious about the trip, it's normal, right? I haven’t been home for a while, and like I said, my family is just...” I started making gestures with my hands that didn't really make sense, “they could be a loud, noisy, nosey bunch. You seen a part of that when you all talked on the phone, I think. But other than that, it’s nothing serious. So don't worry so much.”
He kind of looked at me for a few seconds quietly, as if trying to decipher my thoughts. “Alright. But just in case? Nena, no amount of anxiety can change the future. Same way no amount of regret can change the past.”
“Um...okay?” Out of the blue much, really. Where ever the hell did that come from, I thought.
“From a book I read. Sorry.” he said before smiling apologetically, as if he knew I was going to ask. “But really, being anxious about something is like standing outside with an umbrella waiting for it to rain. And if it does, we can’t change it, can we? Everything happens for a reason, nena. Maybe this trip is happening for a reason. Who knows, right?”
“Okay, Sergio. What ever you say. You had me at everything happens for a reason.”
He chuckled, like he was amused. But within a few seconds, and without taking his eyes off me, his smile faded and his face formed a more serious expression. “Like there’s a reason we’re here now. Like this.”
“Oh yeah?” Very quickly, I felt that vibe in him again. Or maybe he was playing once more. It felt so real, even when he was just acting it out earlier, now it was hard to tell.
“Trust the process, Nena. Just go with it.”
“Fine, I can try.” I just said, then looked down and away from his face. The way Sergio stared made me uncomfortable, but not in a bad way. Uncomfortable like he was looking at my soul. Like he could read my mind when he looked into my eyes. I felt strangely but pleasingly uneasy. And it felt like I needed to look away so he wouldn’t find out he was making my insides all buttery.
“Why do you keep doing that?” I heard him utter.
“Do what?”
“Avoiding my eyes. Why won't you look at me?”
At this point, I shot him a quick glance in the eye, before pulling my gaze away to look at his shirt collar instead.
“For more than three seconds?” He said. “Babe tell me, is there something you see that you don’t like?”
I paused for a moment, thinking how to respond. My lips pressed together once more, thinking maybe I should just tell him. Because at this point, what could it hurt, right? Well, except that I might actually be the one who scares him away.
“I’m afraid it’s the opposite.” I eventually revealed. This time, I looked at him straight. “When I look at you, I see everything I like. And when our eyes meet, even just for a second, it feels like I'm being pulled inside, somewhere I can't feel or see anything else, but you.”
I saw Sergio’s eyes squint ever so lightly, his eyebrows moved along with it. Almost unnoticeably, as if I wasn’t supposed to see his reaction.
“Sergio? Did you hear me?”
He blinked once, then twice. “Whatever you feel is pulling you, maybe try to go with it?”
We may have met not so long ago, but Sergio and I, we’ve done so much since. Lied about being together, with not just one but two people, he'd met my parents, I'd met his best friend, said things to each other, made each other feel things, made plans to travel halfway to the world together, actually booked to travel together, so really, would it be so bad an idea?
“Okay,” I was almost telling just myself, but a little louder. “Maybe I will.”
“Now,” he moved closer as we sat on the couch facing each other. He scooped my waist with his arm and pulled me to him gently. I could feel his muscles tense up around me, but his facial features softened as he looked at me in the eyes. “We have some time before the pizza arrives.”
To reciprocate the move, I put may arms around his neck. “Well, what are your thoughts?”
Sergio let out a smirk, “My thoughts?”. All of a sudden, he swiftly but gracefully lifted me over to sit on his lap, as he sat with his back on the sofa so that I was straddling him on the couch. And without wasting too much time, he held my face with his hands, pulled me in, and I felt his wet tongue make its way to my mouth.
I was sitting in the passenger seat, fidgeting with my own fingers.
“Babe? Marina?” It was only when he mentioned my name did I eventually woke up from what seemed like a dazed few minutes. My mind was off to something.
“Sorry, what?”
“I said you been quiet. Is everything alright?” He asked again. We were inside the car but still waiting for Nando, who was still at the car dealer and asked for a couple more minutes.
“Yes, why wouldn’t they be?” I lied. Honestly? Something about the trip made me nervous. I just couldn’t put my finger to what exactly.
“So you’re good with the itinerary? Cause if you want to change anything...”
I urged myself to smile, “No, Sergio. I’m good with it. We don't need to change anything.” It was a four-week travel, and based on the plans, it looked full. "One week with my Family in Manila, another week in Baguio City, another in La Union, and back to Manila for the last week before we head back.”
“I’m excited.” He smiled. “Are you?”
I’m nervous. That’s what I was. “Of course I am.”
“Listen, I was just thinking, are you sure you don’t want us to stay at a hotel? You really want to stay a t your parents’ ?” Hearing the fact again just made me more uneasy. Thinking of the whole thing alone already had me uncalm to begin with. Another thing, Sergio did not know my mother. And my dad. And my brother. And my cousins. Oh god.
“Look, if it’s gonna be trouble, I mean you know...” he looked at me, clearly seeking out my thoughts on the matter. “I don't want to impose. I don't want your family feeling the need to prepare anything for us. Do you feel we should stay at a hotel instead?” He crossed his arms before his chest, “Do you think that’s a better idea?”
I’ll tell you what I think, Sergio, I thought.. “I know my mother will get upset if we decide not to stay at home for the visit. Just, it’s a culture thing. A family thing. You have no idea how hospitable Filipinos are, whether they like it or not. Like, we’re born that way. It’s our nature. We have to take care of guests, or we feel wrong. I know it’s an odd thing but...”
“No, not odd at all.” He somewhat creased his eyebrows, in lieu of nodding. “Your people and my people have so much similarities in our ways, this isn’t something new, nena, I understand. We all kind of lived together for 300 years, remember?”
“Yeah, I guess we did.” I just said, agreeing to the history. “So yeah, we have to stay at my parents for the visit. It’d be considered more disrespectful if we don’t.”
“Then I don’t want that. I can’t have your family be upset with me. So okay, let’s do that.” He said. “If you're okay with that.”
“I guess it’s fine. But I need you to be briefed.” I told him. And this was not a threat, it was a warning. “My family? They can be a little...” what’s the word, “...exhausting.”
Sergio laughed, as if there was something amusing about it. “All families are, nena. It’s fine, okay? It’s gonna be fine.”
Soon, Nando returned and joined us in the car. He had a few papers with him, some of them he handed to Sergio. He looked upset.
“Good deal?” Sergio asked. “You got me a good deal?”
“What are you talking about, you asked me to have them quote you. You didn’t ask for no good deal. Besides, it's Audi, Sergio. There’s never a good deal.” Nando shook his head, frustrated himself. “I’ve gotten my eyes on that little red baby for months. And never mind that this is the 4th veh8cle I’m getting in three years. They still won’t let me trade the last one I got in. I want it, then I gotta buy it. Full price.”
“No sponsor discount?” Sergio inquired, a little bit in disbelief.
Nando shook his head. “Not even free goddamn car mats.”
Couldn’t really relate. I drove a Range Rover, but that was company issued in Spain. I haven’t really invested in anything solid, until at least I get permanent residency.
At this point, Sergio bent over and put the paperwork into the little compartment by my knees at the passenger side. “I’ll review the quote later on then.” he said as he wore his seatbelt. “I’m all about my vacation right now. I deal with Audi later.”
That and we were on our way.
“I’ll drop you off where?” Sergio looked at Nando from the rearview mirror.
“Stadium. I gotta take care of a few things at the office. While you and Marina go gallivanting for a month in a tropical island, I’ll be engaged in sponsorship events signing autographs, sports festivals with defaulted invites to people like you and me, and free summer hotel stays with people you don’t know. Life is never fair.”
“That trip to Roma with the boys and a few ladies from the Prada event, that isn’t pushing through?” Sergio asked him. At this point, Nando leaned back on his seat with heavy sigh. He looked tired. Sick and tired.
“These unwanted trips for the sake of fun and photos is getting tiring, man. How public do I need to be, yeah? Like I’m not public enough we need more public visibility even when its off season? I don’t even know half the bunch coming, and half of the other half I don’t even care for. Then again, since when did we really get to do whatever we liked whenever we wanted. Well, with the exception of you, you stubborn son of a bitch, we’re all slaves of the club.”
I couldn’t help but feel sorry for the guy. And at one point, I thought, was this really the kind of life Sergio lived? He told me not to believe everything I read and see about him, perhaps this was the reason why.
“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want, man.” Sergio said. “If sitting alone in your lonely home is the ideal vacation, then do it. Say pass on everything. Do it before the season restarts and we’re all tired cows again.”
“Whatever, man. I don't know what my plans are, even.” He replied.
Soon, we reached the Santiago Bernabeu Stadium. Sergio drove into the highly secured back gate, and we stopped to drop Nando off by an entrance. Before getting out of the car, he bent over the center console and patted both Sergi and my shoulder.
“I’ll see you both in a month. Enjoy, have fun, be safe, you know what I mean by that, and bring me back some of those chocolate covered mangos.”
That and out the car he went. Once he disappeared into the doors, Sergio turned to me. “So, we have 2 days before we fly out. We can pack tomorrow, but tonight, I’d like to just stay at home and relax, if that’s okay?”
“Of course. It’ll be a month-long trip, so you better get your rest now. Trust me, meeting my family will suck all the energy out of you.” I laughed. “It's almost time for dinner, though. You want to grab a bite before you drop me off? This time, it’s on me.”
“Um...” He paused as if he was going to say something but hesitated, then bit his lower lip for a second. “I was actually thinking...we could just stay at home and have pizza delivered? You know, quiet evening with no plans, just you and me, some Netflix...”
Oh. “Oh. You mean at home? Like, my home?”
“Your home, my home, doesn't matter."
How else could I have replied? “Okay, I guess. That...that does sound good. Quiet evening with no plans.”
“So... your place, or mine? You pick.”
“Well, you’ve been to mine, so I guess this time...yours? We can take turns, yes?”
Sergio smiled the way to his response. I noticed, though, that in some strange way, he looked at me as if he was planning on something. Not evil, not at all. But strange, nevertheless. And as he held the steering wheel and pulled to the left to get back on the road, I heard him quietly and only to himself say, “Perfect.”
“When death holds my hand, I will hold you with the other. And I promise to find you. In every lifetime.”
I hadn't even gone past the second paragraph of the first page, but I shut the book closed at the precise moment I felt the first thud within my chest. This odd book I picked up from the bookshop at Sergio’s recommendation, saying it was a good read. They’re just words, though. They weren't supposed to scare people. But something about them made me nervous for some reason. Soon as my brain processed the message, that was meant for someone else who wasn’t even me, I felt this sense of unexplainable self-consciousness. You know that feeling like you’re being watched from behind? Like someone’s breathing behind your neck? Like someone knows something about you that you don’t want them to know? That feeling like, shit, I need to get out of here. It was like I was ashamed of myself. No, actually, it almost felt like guilt. Guilty of something I didn’t even know.
It wasn’t so long after I put the book down my office desk when I heard the doorbell ring. Must be him, I thought. Sergio was going to pick me up. We made plans to get tickets from the travel agency. It would’ve for sure be quicker to book online, but he wanted to see Manila from the eyes of a tourist. And I'll be honest, I haven’t travelled the rest of my own country myself. Not when it has seven thousand islands, thank you very much. I’d make a lousy tour guide. Besides, been a while since I was home. I was sure a lot have changed. I remember but a few things from back then, and the future is always different. Well, I think.
I opened the door and was caught by surprise. Another man stood behind him. Blonde hair, about the same height, different facial features, but judging by his built, I could tell he was a footballer as well. That, or another athlete of some sort.
“Hi babe.”
Still not used to that, really. But Sergio, he was all comfortable. As if we’d been this way forever. I smiled, glanced a little to the man behind him, then pulled the door to open it wider. "Come in, please.”
“You haven’t met.” Sergio quickly said. “Marina, this is Fernando. My brother from another mother.”
“Excuse me, kindly, please, best friend coming through.” The man stepped out from behind him to reveal himself fully. He stood confidently in front of me and extended his hand for a shake, which I took graciously.
“Hi. Fernando. I’m good with Nando, Fern, Torres, but for you? Anything you like.” Like Sergio, he had a beautiful smile. Where have all these fine Spanish men been all my life?
Okay, obviously that’s a joke.
“Nice to meet you, Fernando.” I smiled back. “Please, come, have a seat.” I was going to lead them to the living area, but at this point, Sergio gently held my elbow.
“Babe, don’t you think we should be going?” he glanced at his wrist watch momentarily, “we have a few things to do today?”
Before I could answer, Nando spoke. “Oh come, on, Sergi-boy. Let she and I have a few minutes to interact, yeah?” he looked over to me, “Do you know that he speaks of nothing but you? Marina this, Marina that, and well,” he paused and seized me over before smiling, "I guess I can’t blame him.”
“Alright, that’s enough.” Sergio chuckled, as he scratched the back of his head. He then held Nando’s shoulders and turned him around to face the door. “You wanted a few minutes, you got it, and now it’s time to go. Come on, chop chop. We have a full day, brother.”
“I’m coming along though, right?” he sounded like a kid being walked out on. It was quite funny.
“We said you were, did we not?”
“Fine, alright. Good. Good then.”
I asked for a minute to grab my purse and followed them out to the car. Sergio took the driver seat, I rode shotgun, and Nando sat in the back. He chose the middle spot and sat up, leaning over the two front seats like a third wheel he was.
“So, Marina.” he began, “You from Manila?”
“Yes I am. You ever been?”
“No, sadly no. But would love to go one day. You and Sergio planning on a trip, yeah?”
I was going to answer, but Sergio beat me to it. “We’re going. Planning done, brother. And no, you can’t come.” he took my hand and with a swift change of facial expression as he swiftly glanced at me, “It’s a couple trip. Just her and I.”
“Right.” Nando sighed. “Marina, you got any sisters?”
I paused, remembering that imaginary sister I made up when Sergio and I first met. I was ready to laugh about it now, and as it turned out, so was Sergio. I saw him form a smile, over the inside joke only we knew about.
“What? What you two smiling about?”
“Nothing. She doesn’t have a sister.” Sergio told him. At this point, I looked over my shoulder to Nando.
“I may have a few friends, though..." I joked. Unfortunately, bridging people together has never been my strong suit. Before meeting Sergio, I couldn't even tell a good guy for myself. But Nando, seemed hopeful despite of me laughing lightly.
“Oh yea?” His face lit up. “Any of ‘em like you?”
“Hey,” Sergio looked at him from the rear view mirror. “Watch it.”
“Don’t you worry, I’m watchin.” Nando chuckled, before looking back at me. “No, seriously. Single friends, schooled up like you, holds a fine job, strong independent woman, beautiful face, great personality, pleasa---”
“Nope. No one’s like her.” Sergio once more glanced over me to me and winked, then took my hand and held it, our fingers intertwined.
“Hey, I have great friends, though.” I said. Then turned my head to look over at Nando momentarily, “But sorry, Nando. I’m not one to play matchmaker.”
“Ohhh, come onnnnn!” he groaned. “I’m your man’s best friend, yeah? Don’t I get some special treatment here?”
“Special treatment, yes.” I smiled at him. “Always. But when it comes to meeting the right girl? I think you gotta trust the process. You’ll meet someone, I’m sure. You seem like an awesome guy.”
“Awesome, I am. Just the fishes in the sea aren't exactly swimming my direction right now. They need some waves, man. Blow ‘em my way?”
"Leave a little something for the impossible. Always think that no matter how unlikely things seem like, there's always a ten percent chance things could change.”
At this point, Nando took a quick glance at Sergio, who then was just all eyes on the road. He looked stunned, almost amazed, actually. “He said that to me before. Sergio, you said that exact same thing to me once, yeah? What are you people, you share the same brain or something?”
I wasn't sure how to react, I couldn't relate to what he was talking about. And I could be wrong, but I thought I saw Sergio form a discreet smile as if only to himself. “We just have a lot of stuff we both believe in. But she’s right. For all you know, whoever is meant for you, I pray for her, might already be here somewhere, or always been. Just hold your pants and let things unfold, will you?”
Nando took a deep breath as if reacting to a generic cliche he’d heard hundreds of times but never believed in. “Right.” he uttered under his breath.
“I told you this, did I not? Just cause you never listen.” I was not sure what Sergio was referring to, but he looked at him through the rearview mirror and the two saw eye to eye. "You’ll know when she’s arrived.”
For a few minutes, Nando was quiet. Like something about what Sergio said made him remember an idea and now was thinking about it.
We all sat quietly for a few more minutes, and soon, Sergio pulled over the side of a building. This was an upscale area, I could tell. Nice shops, well-dressed people walking about, beautifully lined trees in nicely manicured curbs. Soon as the car came to a gentle halt, a valet driver approached the vehicle and Sergio and Nando were first to get out. Nando opened the passenger door for me and helped me out courteously, while Sergio went around over to us. He held my hand and led the way and up into the steps we went, of what looked like a hotel building.
“Travel agency’s this way.” he said. Nando followed closely behind us, but excused himself before we all walked into the entry.
“Hey, I could meet you both up in say, thirty? I’ll just need to go check something at the next building.”
“You getting a quote on that Maserati?” Sergio asked him. I did notice a car dealer next to the building we just entered.
“Yup.”
“Have them do a breakdown for a Hummer for me will you? All in.”
“Yeah, okay, sure. See you guys in a bit.”
That and Nando bounced. I was quite stunned. These celebrity athletes, like they’re buying a cup of coffee at the next door Starbucks? Damn.
“What do you say?” Sergio asked as we continued to walk the lobby. “Two weeks? Three? Where do we go? North? South?”
“Uhm,” I wasn't sure. I never really thought about it. I guess I just knew we were going home. Well, no. I was going home, and Sergio was coming with. “Perhaps we should look at what destinations they have.” I just knew one thing then. I am not a beach person, never have been and I never will be.
“Right, pretty sure they have those. I don't mind sea travel if required, but when it comes to the destination, I prefer land over sea. Just, I’m not a beach person. I hope that’s fine?”
“Seriously? I thought you like the beach. There are a lot of photos of you on the internet on beaches, your abs gracing the waters of ibiza, swimming with hot chicks and----”
Sergio abruptly stopped in his tracks, faced me, and squeezed my hand which he still hadn’t let go. “Babe, don't believe everything that you see or read. Especially if it’s from the internet. I’m all for having fun, most of my friends from work and out of it are fond of beaches, I go along. That's all there is. And please, swimming with hot chicks?”
“Well, yeah.” Like they weren’t hot. Besides, I didn't know a Spanish woman who wasn't hot. Well, at least within our age range. “But you don’t have to explain, okay? We hadn't met yet, it all comes with your lifestyle, your job, it’s fine. I promise, It’s fine. You don't have to tell me everything.”
“Wait a minute. Are you jealous?”
I raised my eyebrows. But really, was I? “Me? No, I’m not.”
"Oh. Well, damn, I’d rather you are.” He joked. Or at least I thought he was joking. At this point, Sergio took a deep breath before letting go of my hand, but only to cup my face. “Listen, babe. None of that matters anymore. Now you’re here, and I choose to spend all my free time with you and that’s the truth. Okay?”
“Okay yeah sure.” I replied, casually.
We then continued the long walk through the lobby to the travel agency. I’d just noticed people were looking, no, staring at us. Or at Sergio. But he seemed unbothered. Or maybe just used to it. “You know what’s fun? Fiestas.” he said, “Fiestas are awesome. If there are any going on, we should go. We can hit the cities, experience the Asian night life, in the days we could visit cultural areas, museums, old villages and ruins, you get the drift.”
“You sure?” I asked. Besides me, who doesn’t like the beach and would rather spend a quiet day in a boring cultural museum, right? Apparently, Sergio. Unbelievable, I know. “The Philippines is made up of seven thousand islands. We’re surrounded by shorelines, bodies of water, lakes, we even have a volcano sitting right smack in the middle of a lake. Our major cities are separated by gulfs and an ocean. The Philippines is a tropical country. Keyword, tropical. We’re a beach country, Sergio.”
“Okay, wait.” He looked at me, “Can you do me a favor?”
“Um, okay?” Raising my eyebrows, all innocent. ”What?”
“First of all, can you stop calling me Sergio?”
I had no idea what he meant. “Stop? But...that’s your name?”
“I know, I know. I mean, maybe call me something else?”
I was just lost at that point. Why in the world would he not want to be called his name? “Like what? Ramos?” I chuckled.
“Like Babe or baby or something?”
It was funny, such an odd, odd request. But alright, I decided to humor him. He’d been calling me that, and although I hadn't really gotten used to it, I thought maybe if I started calling him the same, then it’d all eventually sit well with me. “Fine. BABE.”
The look on his face was indescribable. Like rainbows were tickling all his right spots all of a sudden, his smile was ear to ear.
“You okay?” I laughed lightly.
“I am now.” he said. Then he put his arm over my shoulders as we continued to turn through a narrower hallway, which I believed led to the travel agency. “Second of all, before all the touring, I want to meet your folks.”
“I hope she really does, man. Because I’d beg her to please shoot her shot. She literally has no competition. I’m rooting for her even.” I couldn’t help but laugh at myself. Because it it was funny how true it was.
Fernando looked at me as if trying to figure something out. “Are you making this shit up or this is really happening?”
“You really have zero faith in me, don’t you?” Sometimes I don’t even know how we’re friends. “What did I tell you the last time? That I would find her, right? I’m telling you right now, I have.”
“Meet us up.” He said as if daring me. “Let me meet her. Then I'll believe your crap.”
“I’m bout to pick her up for coffee, after which we’re headed to the travel agency to book a flight. You can come with. But you’ll have to be on your way when I send her back home.” I winked. “Tonight is the night.”
“Okay hold on, wait a minute.” He said, his palm up before him. “I have several questions.”
“What now?”
Fernando crossed his arms before him, before taking two of his fingers over his lips and tapped them alternately. Squinting at me, he said “Travel agency? Book a flight? To where?”
“Actually we----”
“I’m not finished.” He has a thing for interrupting me whenever I talk as if his questions are far more important. “I have to bounce before you drive her home, because? Tonight is the night meaning?”
I put my hands on my waist. “Can I respond now?”
“Please do.”
“We’re planning a trip to Manila, where she’s from.” I revealed. “The Philippines?”
“I know where that is, Sergio, I do own a world globe.” he said as-a-matter-of-factly, before his facial expression changed as if to say “what the fuck”. “You do realize, though, that you’ve known her for like five minutes, right? And you’re planning to travel halfway across the world with her already? Already?”
“Actually, two and a half weeks. I’ve known her two and a half weeks.”
“Two and a half weeks, five minutes, five days, all same diff.” He said, “Which brings me to my second question, you want me out of scene when you take her home because tonight is the night. That shit hasn’t happened yet? You known her two and a half weeks and you haven’t done shit? You’re doing this all wrong, brother.”
If you knew Nando, you’d know not to take him literally. He speaks in a language only a few people understands, mostly reverse meanings, sarcasm, and metaphors. It’s like dealing with a mentally challenged adult with a fully developed brain.
“I told you. This one’s different.”
“How do you know? You haven't even.” He laughed at me. “I expect you to know this, Ramos. Relationships? 30% emotional connection, 20% physical attraction, 20% humor, 30% sexual compatibility.”
I couldn't help but laugh as well. “Your thresholds are all but yours and yours alone. I use different measures. Thankfully.”
He scoffed. “Uhm, since when?”
I scoffed back. “Uhm, since forever?”
“Sergio, my brother. My man. My friend. Rule #1, you never decide about a woman until you know her, in all the needed ways. So to say that she’s different from all the others you’ve had or been with? Don’t. Because you have no solid basis for that. Based on my expert opinion.”
“Well, to piss you off, based on my Sergio Ramos opinion, there’s a huge, huge, huge possibility that she’s the ---”
“Don’t say it, Sergio.” He pointed an actual finger at me. “Don’t you dare say it.”
“The One.” I said it.
“Dammit.” He slapped his palms together making a loud “clap” sound. “You know, I remember the impossible description of that imaginary girlfriend you said you knew existed somewhere,” he then mumbled “in your magical fantasy dreamland, so are you telling me Marina, is that right? That’s her name?”
“Yeah,” I blinked my eye slowly like I already knew where he was getting at. “Right.”
“Right. So are you telling me that Marina is ALL THAT? Is that what you’re telling me?”
I took a deep breath. It’s exhausting trying to convince the very guy who was supposed to be the most supportive, really, in situations like this within the lives of normal people. Emphasis on normal people. “What if I am? What if I am telling you that yes, she is all that. Or what if I say that no, it doesn’t matter anymore what she is or she is not, because I know she’s the one?”
“Okay, see? Inconsistencies. Sergio, there is a difference between saying that there is a huge, huge, huge possibility that she's the one, and saying that you know she's the one.” He confidently said as if to point out a mistake. “But either way? In this situation Sergio, brother, it’s too early to tell, yeah?”
“You ever had someone you can’t wait to tell when something awesome happens to you? Whether it’s at 3pm or 3am, you feel good about ringing her up just to hear her voice? Or someone you give you whole attention to when ten other people are asking for it? Someone who’s always in the back of your mind no matter how distracted or busy you are?”
Fernando’s look was judging. “Lemme guess. She’s that someone to you. Makes you feel like a schoolboy crushing on the prettiest girl in school thing, butterflies in your six pack, drives you nuts kind of a feeling, and you’ve never felt this way about someone before.”
“Actually, no.” I told him. “I have felt this way about someone before.”
He stared at me for a good five seconds. “Okay you just lost me.”
“You won’t understand, and trust me, you will not believe it if I told you.” I laughed lightly, but only to myself. Or maybe Nando could understand if he tried, but I felt it wasn’t good timing to explain things. “Anyway, what I’m saying is, I’m familiar with this feeling. And this is how I know this one isn’t just for the moment, or maybe I’ll take it seriously and maybe I won’t. I’m saying I’ve felt this way before and I know what it is. I know what I’m doing and if I do this right this time, maybe it’ll turn out how I hope it will. Alright?”
“Whatever, man. But I been your friend since we were what, twelve? I don’t think you been all over any lady like this. At least not that I know of.” He said.
“Yeah. Not that you know of.” I smirked. A little ambiguity won’t hurt, would it?
“Ah so that’s how it is. Alright, alright.” he nodded, “You and your mind game crap. I know you be shittin’ me. I know everything about you, Ramos. I’m literally the only friend you have. Who else would you tell. Nobody. ”
We both chuckled.
“Anyway, you really falling hard for the chick, huh?” Nando looked at me from the side of his eye. “You seem so sure about this one.”
If I could only tell him everything at that point, I would’ve. But the situation was not ideal. And so with a modest smile I tried to keep, I just patted Nando’s shoulder. “I don’t just seem sure, brother.” I said to him. “I AM sure.”
“Well then in that case,” He stood up straight in his position. “I shall allow us to meet. And she better be all that you’re saying she is.”
No, not exactly, Nando, I thought to myself. All that she is, is so much more.
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