NSFW WARNING
Nsfw topic: masturbation & self pleasure (?)
I need tips.
Im asexual (with female anatomy) and from my limited expertise I do not enjoy or yearn for sexual activities with anyone. Tho sometimes I masturbate with a vibrator (do not enjoy penetration). Every now and then I get this need and want to orgasm, but every time I go for it it's just.. eh? Like sure the orgasm itself is good but thats only for a second or so. All the prep beforehand, setting up time to do it, trying to get myself in the mood somehow bc any type of porn dont work at all lmao, having to do the masturbation, cleaning up afterwards.. its just not worth it for the little reward. It's exhausting.
But I still want the orgasm.
Has any of you found a way it wont be such a hassle? Or a better way to enjoy it? Anything related to this, please, I want to make it more enjoyable for myself. <3
Hello, anon! Thank you for reaching out.
As I don't have any answer for this, I will leave it up to the community! Wishing you all the best, anon. :) I hope you get some answers in the comments or reblogs. But I can assure you that you are not alone!
A few things you may be able to try:
Try to enhance your pleasure throughout the process. A lot of people race straight to the orgasm as fast as possible, because it's the "Best Part". However, getting there can be really good, too. Drawing it out can make the orgasm stronger when you get there, as well. Try things like changing the vibration speed or pressure to vary the sensation. Stop stimulation entirely for 10-20 seconds when you get close to keep you in the pleasurable zone just before the orgasm for longer. Rub areas like your thighs, belly, chest, nipples, and labia. Clench your PC muscles/do Kegels. Switch between the vibrator and fingers/hand, or grinding against a pillow or folded blanket. Take the time to explore and find what works, then incorporate that as you go. And go into it with the expectation that you're going to experiment, and that you won't necessarily find something that works every time, so you may not have an orgasm that time, but knowing what doesn't work is just as important.
Schedule it or plan for it ahead of time. Instead of waiting for the mood to strike, just decide that you're going to give it a go at a particular time in the future. Like you're gonna do it every Thursday morning. That makes it more of a planned routine, so you won't feel like it's an extra time burden. Also, you may find that you'll start looking forward to it, which might help you get pre-aroused for when the time comes. You can also coordinate with other things. Don't like the cleanup time? Do it before (or during!) a shower you're going to take anyway. Stuff like that.
Take a look at all the parts of the process that you don't like, and see if you can make adjustments to minimize or eliminate them. Can you skip any of the prep work steps? Can you set the vibrator aside when you're done and clean it in the morning instead?
Instead of trying to "get in the mood" with things like porn or whatever, focus on the physical side of things. Focus on the sensations, center yourself on what feels good, think about what the orgasm will feel like, and let all of that carry you along. You don't have to feel "turned on" before you get started (although that may make things easier), you can just get started and your body will probably respond.
You can also try masturbating while you're doing other things (within reason). Turn the vibrator on and use something like clothes or a towel to keep it in place hands-free, while you watch TV or read the news or play a game or whatever. (Just don't do it while you're driving or operating heavy machinery or taking a math test or something like that...) Let it build on its own for a while, then focus on it when you've reached a point where you're close. It might take longer overall to do it this way, but it may not feel like you're spending as much time on it.
And finally, switch up what you do. A little variety can prevent things from getting stale. If you only orgasm with the same vibrator all the time, try getting a different toy or two. Maybe something in a different style, like one of those air sucker things, or a vibrator that's stronger or a different shape. Try grinding on a pillow or a folded blanket, or using your fingers or different parts of your hand. Do it in a different position, like sitting or standing or laying on your back or stomach, and move your legs around. Use a handheld showerhead or the flow from a tub faucet on your clitoris. Even try sitting on a washing machine in the spin cycle...
I don't know if any of these things will help you, but good luck!







