Sometimes quiet is violent @ashadowin-thenight - Tumblr Blog

“EXPRESSION IS SURVIVAL”

-Hayley Williams

(I wrote this a while ago and published it on another plataform, and today I felt like posting it here)

Reading this article was a very hard thing for me and bringed back so many memories. Hayley is someone a admire very much and reading this text maked me feel a lot of empathy. The arrival of “After Laughter”(AL) into my life was very important for me because, even though it wasn’t the same experience Hayley speaks about in this text, I went through something similar. I was at a point in my life were everything seemed perfect, but on an instant everything fell apart. Just a couple of days after my breakdown AL came out and honestly i felt like the album was specifically written for me. It joined me for the rest of the year. Just like Hayley said, I wouldn’t like to label my situation as depression, but I went through a really bad time back then. And listening to this album helped me a lot.

Maybe if you listen to it you’ll think: How did that help you? It has really sad lyrics!. But I think that is the main reason. That made me get to know my feelings more deeply and the fact of knowing someone (in this case Hayley) was feeling something so similar, gave me a lot of strength. At that time I didn’t have the opportunity to unburden my emotions as I usually do (through dance), so I opted to write a little. Not so long ago, being in a better place mentally than before, a thought/frase came to my mind: “I write what I feel, because feelings make us humans and writing make us sane.” Today, when I read Hayley’s words, I come across this quote “Expression is survival”. I think that both quotes are in the same line of thought, the thought of “is better to channel our emotions through something”. It doesn’t matter if you don’t want to talk about it, and it’s not about being happy after one night because it’s not possible, the main reason is to release the burden and begin to heal a little every time.

It’s important to notice that even if someone appears to be fine, they can be going through a really tough time. Let’s not pressure them/ourselves to be happy every second of the day, let’s just be kind and help with the things that we can.

The Paramore singer reflects on a time when life fell from underneath her.

#paramore #papermagazine #depression

neuroticdream

solarisrose

“I wish I knew how to be something you miss.”

Late night thoughts (via autumn-leeves)

marialolmaria

It wasn’t really a relationship though, not officially anyway. We talked, acted, and went out like a couple. I was so enthralled with him that I didn’t care if we dated or not, I just wanted to be with him.

the book I’m trying to write about you #4 (via marialolmaria)

badbrainmashton

Let’s fall in love. I don’t mean love like the other ones, that all they do is go to the movies and post pictures to prove their love. I mean love like us. Let’s talk on the phone from 9:30 PM to 3:30 AM, just to get to know each other better. Let’s tease each other with our middle names. Let’s look at eachother the right way, let’s notice each others eyes light up when we’re talking about something we love. Let’s hear each other smile through the phone when we say something meaningful. Let’s fall in love. It might not be the correct way, but it sure is the way I want too.

Words I wish I could say (via badbrainmashton)

Love.

I don’t believe in love. I just can’t. How could I? My father cheated on my mother. I saw how she was feeling so much pain.

I’ll never forget one day I entered her room and she was just lying in her bed. She had fallen asleep after crying non-stop. She was so broken. So sad. So vulnerable.

That was twelve years ago, I was eight and I wil never forget how my mom suffered. I will never forget how my dad didn’t even care, not of her or me or my brother.

My brother. Today I saw my brother cry over the love of his life. She has a new boyfriend. I mean, I don’t blame her, she can do whatever she wants. But you don’t know their relationship like I do. No one does. They were so happy with each other, even when they weren’t together you could tell they missed one another. But apparently they weren’t so happy. Now she’s with someone else and my brother’s alone.

How could I believe in love after seeing the two most important people in my life suffering over a person who doesn’t care about them? That can’t be love, love should be something strong that conquers all. Through good and also bad times.

I just can’t. But the thing is… I feel so cynic saying it.

#love #fuck love #long reads

wordsto-remember

- Oprah Winfrey

wordsto-remember

this was the first picture i posted on this blog (December 31 2011)

makt0ub

thunderupton-deactivated2014120

I have a massive fear that no one actually likes me, rather everyone is just politely tolerating me hoping I leave them alone

wordsto-remember

Carrie Underwood - the night before (life goes on)

painfully-sadd

The loneliness came back but you never did

painfully-sadd (via painfully-sadd)

Depressed...

Its funny how little situations can affect someone so much. Just a couple of words you say to someone and that can make them feel like they’re worth nothing.

Sometimes i feel like i am so dramatic, because i get upset by the most unsignificant things. Last night i was talking to this guy i like, and he was talking to me in a really cold way. He asked me if i could do his homework for him (cus he was doing another homework and he didn’t know if he was gonna be able to finish in time to do both). I lied to him. I told him i couldn’t do it cus i had no material. He got mad. He didn’t say anything but he just started to talk different to me and then he just told me he had to go finish his homework. I got upset. Why can he get mad at me because i don’t want to do his homework, but i can’t get mad at him when he is being an asshole to me? I tried to ignore it and went to sleep. I was so tired.

When i woke up i see i have some messages from him: 10:54pm-can i tell you something? 12:00am- thank you… -*a picture of his finished homework* -Goodnight

I told him that i was sorry but i was really tired and fell asleep. He responded, but still in a weird cold way. Finally he told me he was feeling sad and he wanted to talk to me about it. When i asked what was going on he just said it didn’t matter anymore.

When he told me that i felt really sad. I felt us growing more apart. I feel like im losing him, and i don’t want that. But if you knew all the story about us and you saw things from my perspective, maybe you’d agree that i should just get away from him. I feel like i’m falling for him, and i know he doesn’t feel that way about me. He once told me he isn’t ready for that kind of relationship. But still told me he cared about me. He confuses me so much. And I don’t want to be confused anymore. I’m so tired of feeling that way. But he is my friend. I care about him. I don’t want to lose him.

#depressed #sad